Housekeepers in thongs, Brawl at a Boxing Match, DISTURBED in Maine, LINKIN PARK frozen in Boston, Nella Jay and Lylith Lavey... hey, that rhymes!

Another day, another flood of Charlie Sheen news... yippee.

What's the point in getting a housekeeper if you're not going to act inappropriately?

Exactly. There is no point! That's why you put out feelers for one who doesn't mind being felt up. They exist. Seriously. They do.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your bald spot. Want the number of a good wig store?)

Just because you're at a kickboxing match doesn't mean you're supposed to brawl with other folks in the crowd:

Or does it? We get so confused sometimes. So many rules these days, you know?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your constant craving for attention IS. Weren't you hugged as a child?)


Rihanna is getting weirder-looking (Drunken Stepfather)


Normy has a guy's name, but all girl parts (FreakShow Planet)

Five Future Stars of Super Bowl XLV (Bullz-Eye)

Lupe Fuentes... Little...Latina...Lickable (Dailyniner)

Jana Cova has her hands in her pants. Lucky pants. (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your temper, attitude and disposition make you unfit to hold any other job except 'house boy')

Mutha-Truckin' LINKIN PARK, yo... playing to a half-empty TD Banknorth center in Boston:

Well, half-empty because of the snow, not because they suck... that's debatable.

Ever wondered what DISTURBED looks like playing to a Coliseum full of hicks in Maine:

Wonder no more, friends, because thanks to Mike, we have video of such an event.

Enough of that tame shit, mang... here's the funbags!

What do you get when you cross Nella Jay with a bikini and a bottle of baby oil?

Why, you get THIS. Plain and simple.

We'd ask you the same question about Lylith Lavey, but why bother

...because we'd get the same answer...and the same video. It's called Big Wet Tits 9... classy, right?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Old man vs. Young Man football brawl, SCREAM 4 Trailer, TOOL and Kirk Hammet in Hawaii, THE DAMNED THINGS on Jimmy Kimmel, VINNIE VINCENT guitars, Adult Awesomeness with Lisa Ann and Crista Moore

Hey-Ho! It's off to the copy room we go!

What better way to warm up in winter than a torrid office affair!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

When you're about to pick a fight with an older gentleman post-fender-bender...

... you should be prepared to possibly get your ass handsomely kicked... Just like this young dope.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

More Ghostface = More Gooder! The international trailer for the latest entry in the SCREAM film franchise is online:

Try not to poop yer pants.

Who dis li'l munchkin wearin pasties? (Drunken Stepfather)

Veronika DeSouza has a Sweet, Sweet Hiney (FreakShow Planet)

Review: The Green Hornet (Bullz-Eye)

Celeste Star is in Slinky Lingerie....but not fer long (Dailyniner)

Lela Star (No relation) has her hand over her hoo-hah (How about We...)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

RAWK... METALLICA's Kirk Hammet jammed with TOOL in Honolulu, Hawaii the other day:

They did Metallica's "Orion" and segued into Tool's "Lateralus"... and we're a bunch of music geeks.

THE DAMNED THINGS played their damned song on damned Jimmy Kimmel Live:

Dammit...

Pointy guitars rule... but why anyone would play one with VINNIE VINCENT's name on it is beyond us:

Really? Vinnie Vincent guitars? Where the hell did Vinnie go, anyway?

From fully-clothed bands to partially-clothed adult starlets...

Worldly-famously adult starlet Lisa Ann wants to tell you all about her start in adult:

Don't care? too bad. She's gonna tell you anyway

Panty-rific (is that even a word? Probably not) Crista Moore gets herself interviewed by creepy camera guy just before getting creampied:

Creampied? No, it's not a Three Stooges Reference.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.