Housekeepers in thongs, Brawl at a Boxing Match, DISTURBED in Maine, LINKIN PARK frozen in Boston, Nella Jay and Lylith Lavey... hey, that rhymes!

Another day, another flood of Charlie Sheen news... yippee.

What's the point in getting a housekeeper if you're not going to act inappropriately?

Exactly. There is no point! That's why you put out feelers for one who doesn't mind being felt up. They exist. Seriously. They do.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your bald spot. Want the number of a good wig store?)

Just because you're at a kickboxing match doesn't mean you're supposed to brawl with other folks in the crowd:

Or does it? We get so confused sometimes. So many rules these days, you know?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your constant craving for attention IS. Weren't you hugged as a child?)


Rihanna is getting weirder-looking (Drunken Stepfather)


Normy has a guy's name, but all girl parts (FreakShow Planet)

Five Future Stars of Super Bowl XLV (Bullz-Eye)

Lupe Fuentes... Little...Latina...Lickable (Dailyniner)

Jana Cova has her hands in her pants. Lucky pants. (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your temper, attitude and disposition make you unfit to hold any other job except 'house boy')

Mutha-Truckin' LINKIN PARK, yo... playing to a half-empty TD Banknorth center in Boston:

Well, half-empty because of the snow, not because they suck... that's debatable.

Ever wondered what DISTURBED looks like playing to a Coliseum full of hicks in Maine:

Wonder no more, friends, because thanks to Mike, we have video of such an event.

Enough of that tame shit, mang... here's the funbags!

What do you get when you cross Nella Jay with a bikini and a bottle of baby oil?

Why, you get THIS. Plain and simple.

We'd ask you the same question about Lylith Lavey, but why bother

...because we'd get the same answer...and the same video. It's called Big Wet Tits 9... classy, right?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Chinatown Beatdown, Lady Gaga Crowd Surfing, SHINEDOWN live, Vinnie Paul covers PANTERA, NIGHT RANGER rocks the park, Stripper Practice with Alexa & Nikki, Playboy's Dana Dicillo

Ooph. Monday. Wipe the crusties from your eyes and wave good-bye to the married ladies you spent the alcohol-fueled weekend with

Oh don't get all moral now. Adultery is for adults. Not for pussies with a conscience.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Almost as bad as your taste in clothing, your friends, and your deodorant. What did you wear a skunk under each arm today?)

Some drunk asswipe got himself a Chinatown Beatdown, Bosotn-Style!

This'll teach him to mess with the guy holding the Louisville Slugger.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lady Gaga Half-Naked Crowd Surfing (Drunken Stepfather)


Liz Hurley In A Bikini is Annoyingly Awesome (WWTDD)

and as you might imagine, Liz Hurley Without any clothes on is even MORE awesome!

GOOGLED! Top Ten Wildest Google Maps Moments (Part I) (The Campus Socialite)

17 Mouthwatering Facts About Bacon (Asylum)

New Yorker headbutts PA on the set of Gordon-Levitt film (FilmDrunk)

Brianna Blair is giving you just enough of a taste to want to crash through your computer screen (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Ashley Lane (Bullz-Eye)

Snooki Gets The Taiwan Animation Treatment (Warming Glow)

Natalia Cruz gets awfully Cozy with the girl next to her...who has a gun (Dailyniner)

Leela James does "My Joy" LIVE (Soundcheck)

Silvie Thomas slips in ...and out of... a tight white outfit (z0d)


I'M SORRY:
(So sorry your breath could send seagulls away from a Staten Island landfill)

Bruce Dickinson of IRON MAIDEN (on tour now - click for tix!) lost 30 years of coolness in 3 seconds when he slipped and fell on stage:

The stage at Sonisphere in Finland was soaked from an earlier thunderstorm and Dickinson landed flat on his ass. Ker-Splat!

Florida Rockheads SHINEDOWN are out on tour with the Carnival Of Madness:

The guys get to enjoy the finer things in life, like yelling at Motor City Metalheads. See SHINEDOWN on tour with SEVENDUST, CHEVELLE, and PUDDLE of MUDD (click for tickets)

Legendary Drummer Vinnie Paul from PANTERA and HELLYEAH made a PANTERA tribute band very happy:

He was able to bash out "Cowboys from Hell" with an impressive blood alcohol content.

When you close your eyes, do you dream about NIGHT RANGER?

Ah, so YOU'RE one of the three... Bravo, silly goose.

From memorable riffs, to memorable racks...

Stripping is hard work and requires a ton of practice. Alexa Benson and Nikki Sexton can't focus long enough to make it through a session:

They manage to work on their routine for 20 seconds, then boom...the sex happens.

Dana Dicillo is a pure Italian PLAYBOY hottie who wants to be dominated in bed:

So, when you curl up next to her in bed... bring a bat. At least we THINK that's what she wants.

Janelle is a curvy, 23 year-old Latina with exotic green eyes DD-sized breasts, and an ass-tastic hiney that fits perfectly in a tiny thong. We sent Janelle one of our HUGE old-school FoundryMusic T-Shirts, and she wore it for a few seconds, then tossed it aside in favor of fishnet stockings and pink panties. We have ZERO objection to this behavior, and we'll continue to encourage it.
Thanks to our Boston boys in EXTREME for the song "King of the Ladies".



Click the pic. Rub your...(oh, now that's just not neccessary, is it?) then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Janelle LIVE (she'll be wearing next-to-nothing. You wear whatever the hell you want, amigo)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.