Old man vs. Young Man football brawl, SCREAM 4 Trailer, TOOL and Kirk Hammet in Hawaii, THE DAMNED THINGS on Jimmy Kimmel, VINNIE VINCENT guitars, Adult Awesomeness with Lisa Ann and Crista Moore

Hey-Ho! It's off to the copy room we go!

What better way to warm up in winter than a torrid office affair!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

When you're about to pick a fight with an older gentleman post-fender-bender...

... you should be prepared to possibly get your ass handsomely kicked... Just like this young dope.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

More Ghostface = More Gooder! The international trailer for the latest entry in the SCREAM film franchise is online:

Try not to poop yer pants.

Who dis li'l munchkin wearin pasties? (Drunken Stepfather)

Veronika DeSouza has a Sweet, Sweet Hiney (FreakShow Planet)

Review: The Green Hornet (Bullz-Eye)

Celeste Star is in Slinky Lingerie....but not fer long (Dailyniner)

Lela Star (No relation) has her hand over her hoo-hah (How about We...)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

RAWK... METALLICA's Kirk Hammet jammed with TOOL in Honolulu, Hawaii the other day:

They did Metallica's "Orion" and segued into Tool's "Lateralus"... and we're a bunch of music geeks.

THE DAMNED THINGS played their damned song on damned Jimmy Kimmel Live:

Dammit...

Pointy guitars rule... but why anyone would play one with VINNIE VINCENT's name on it is beyond us:

Really? Vinnie Vincent guitars? Where the hell did Vinnie go, anyway?

From fully-clothed bands to partially-clothed adult starlets...

Worldly-famously adult starlet Lisa Ann wants to tell you all about her start in adult:

Don't care? too bad. She's gonna tell you anyway

Panty-rific (is that even a word? Probably not) Crista Moore gets herself interviewed by creepy camera guy just before getting creampied:

Creampied? No, it's not a Three Stooges Reference.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Accidental MILF, Fire at Diddy's Party, Bradley Cooper in LIMIITLESS, THE DAMNED THINGS on the Damned TV, Flawless Japanese FIREHOUSE cover, Yurizan Beltran on a Blind Date, Lisa Ann is a Size Queen

Oh no! This fine young MILF accidentally had an accident and flipped her car on the highway why not pull over and introduce yourself?

Her old man obviously isn't coming by anytime soon, so tell this lady to stop brushing her hair so sieze the opportunity and giver her a lift...to your place

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your general state of health, you elephant. There's a busy highway. Go for a walk.)

24 year-old Yurizan Beltran has been in the adult business for about six years. Her Cuban suitor has been in the US for all of six minutes (We think, based on his grasp of English):

CAN HE SCORE?? Of course he can. Why else would we bother showing you this? Sheesh.

Oh snap! If you haven't seen this video of the young lady whose hair caught on fire at P. Diddy's party the other day... well, shit, here you go:

and because we feel like being semi-racial today, here's a semi-relatable link to go with this silly ass hair-on-fire clip.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

To hell with consequences! Screw side-effects! We want what Bradley Cooper is taking in LIMITLESS?

Bradley who? Oh Come ON... Bradley Cooper.

Yay! Celeb-Boobies! But Whose? (Drunken Stepfather)

This one should be easy actualliy... Before she made that movie with Mr. Smith, she was showing 'em to everyone who would point a camera at 'em... that's vague enough, right?.

Dominno. You've seen her before. She's got huge boobs and a huge tatoo...and she's opening her umm...yeah (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye 2010 Year-End TV Review (Bullz-Eye)

The ONLY thing wrong with Capri Anderson's photos is that pesky lingerie (z0d)

Anetta and Zuzana are kissing one another ...but not with their mouths (Dailyniner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you think you have a soul in that bloated body of yours. It's long gone, sweetness.)

The blended band THE DAMNED THINGS played their Damned Song on the Damned TV:

Put simply, the combination of EVERY TIME I DIE, ANTHRAX and FALL OUT BOY were on Fearless Music the other day.

LOCK N' LOLL!!! Want to see a couple of Japanese guys perform "Overnight Sensation" by FIREHOUSE totally flawlessly? Tough. We're going to show you anyway:

They say if you really want to appreciate western culture and a bit of Americana, go to Japan... Wait, what?

How much for the little girlz??

Legendary adult starlet Lisa Ann is admitting she's a Size Queen...

Gee... thanks so much captain Obvious ... the sky is blue and water is wet, by the way.

Umm... Jewelz Jade has an enormous piece of chocolate:

...ok, you got us... it's not chocolate, and it's not candy...but she DOES put it in her mouth.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wasted Weekend, Axl Rose Angers Australians, ANTHRAX + FALL OUT BOY = ?, Battle: Los Angeles Trailer, Swedish Idol is cooler than American Idol, SEETHER live in PA, Kagney Linn Karter, Jordan Carver, and Alanah Rae can't stay dressed

Did you have an eventful weekend? Do you REMEMBER any of it? did you do naughty things and find someone like THIS in your bathroom?

Congratulations, friend! Since you had so much fun over the weekend, let's hook up with another stranger TONIGHT!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

Axl Rose and the rest of GUNS N' ROSES managed to piss off 16,000 Australian fans when they hit the stage two hours late.

In other breaking news, the sky is blue and water is indeed wet.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The trailer for BATTLE: LOS ANGELES is online, and while we're always skeptical about these aliens-invade-and-cause-world-to-end films... GUNS N' ROSES managed to piss off 16,000 Australian fans when they hit the stage two hours late.

This one looks pretty F-ing solid. Well, OK... it kinda looks like INDEPENDENCE DAY, but far less stupid.

The Poster in the background is kind of a dead giveaway, but whose ass in tight jeans is THIS? (Drunken Stepfather)

Here's a hint for you - She got her start in crappy topless bondage films... too much? Knew it. Damn.

BLACK SWAN: Movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Ally Ryan has a Real Nice Rump (FreakShow Planet)

2 PLAYBOY Playmates get awfully oily and awfully naked (z0d)

Kaitylynn Cole is Kinda Friggin' Gorgeous posing naked outdoors (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

Whaddya get when you mix ANTHRAX with FALL OUT BOY and EVERY TIME I DIE?

You get a big Damned band called THE DAMNED THINGS and... which has a bunch of Damned musicians.

The guys in SEETHER have done one hell of a job with GEORGE MICHAEL's "Carless Whisper":

We tried to get an opinion from George about the song, but he was whispering Carelessly to a fella in a public toilet. What? You didn't know he's gay? Where the hell you been?

Why is Swedish 'Idol' so much cooler than American Idol?

Because their contestants (like Jay Smith, seen above) pick songs like "Enter Sandman" by METALLICA to perform... dat's why.

OK, now we move on to the boobies. Any objections? Didn't think so.

Busty blonde adult starlet KAGNEY LINN KARTER is an amazing Texas-born piece of tail:

...and this clip is about all we can show you, because the full scene in CURVY GIRLS 4 (click to watch it on Demand) is pretty twisted. In a good way, that is.

New Jersey-born Alanah Rae is all about keeping clean:

Because if you've seen How sloppy she gets in some of her films you'd understand why.

Sexy German JORDAN CARVER has a lot to learn about staying hydrated in the desert:

Ice cream? You can't fill your canteen with that. are we TOTALLY missing the point on this one? Umm, yeah

18 year-old Montana born BREE DANIELS is really 18 as opposed to lying and really being in her mid 20's:

With that said, some smashing your face against the monitor. just go see all the naughty things Bree does to her naughty spots... and then thank us.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Car Theft in Buenos Aires, Anna Paquin Wet T-shirt, Shauna Sand is Waxy, Rokken with Dokken at RibFest, God Gave Rock & Wigs to KISS, Those Damned Things Debut, Sandra Romain and Anne's Lovely Bodies

Do you know why God made FRIDAY?
So that you could unscrew you head, dump out the part of your brain that contains morality and hook up with as many women as possible... just make sure the husbands are out of arms reach.

We found out that more women are having affairs than men these days...See? You come here, and you learn stuff!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

How do you steal a shitbox car in Buenos Aires?

With a little elbow grease and another shitbox, apparently.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Anna Paquin is Deceptively Attractive (WWTDD)

Then again, Anna Paquin does like taking her clothes off on camera, so how deceptive is it really?


Oooh! A Wax Statue of Shauna Sand! Wait, no. It's really her. (Drunken Stepfather)

Shauna stick to making sex videos PLEASE...and stay inside

Lauren Anderson Lifts Up Her Tiny Plaid Skirt (Freakshow Planet)

SPLICE: Movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

32 Poorly Translated Subtitles (URLesque)

Four Ways Science Will Kick Death's Ass (UPROXX)

Roxanna, why did you bother getting dressed? Your outfit is full of holes. (Dailyniner)

Drunk Driver Jumps Car Over Airport Toll Booth (Warming Glow)

Natalia Cruz Has A kick-ass body and even more kick-ass body art (z0d)

Badass Men of Manliness: Dennis Hopper (The Bachelor Guy)

How To Fight (Funnycrave)

30 Female Celebrities Grabbing Their Own Boobs (ManOfest)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

You know, you're just not Rockin'...

Unless you're ROKKEN with DOKKEN...at Rib Fest! Um, yeah.

God Gave Rock and Roll to You, sir...:

and God also saw fit to Give a Really Swell Wig to Paul Stanley from KISS because 60 year old men don't have hair like that.

What's this? Members of ANTHRAX and FALL OUT BOY together? In the same place:

THE DAMNED THINGS debuted at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn, NY the other day.

From hard rock to rock-hard abs...on girls...

This is Busty Blond Southern Belle Anne from FTV Girls and she LOVES working out:

She loves working out, pulling out her boobs, working out, playing with sex toys, working out, fornicating with her hand... See? We no lie.

from hard abs to hard butts

hot ass Romanian adult super-starlet Sandra Romain is oiling up her booty:

She must have a very ashy hiney... and you can see Sandra get that hiney ravaged at BIG WET ASSES 8 - on Demand.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.