Your Mom Pushing a Sports Car, Follow us on the Twitter, STEELHEART goes Splat, OZZY Bites Bats, PANTERA gets fat, Gianna Michaels, Asa Akira, Alexis Texas, and more!

Let's remind you of some important shit, shall we?
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we abdut...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

You might want to give your mom a call and tell her that THIS is why they invented tow trucks:

There are plenty of ditzy MILFs online just waiting for a fella to give them a lift... snd then some.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

What do you get when your singer grabs onto a lighting truss that isn't properly secured to the stage?

You get SPLAT! and a band that won't be touring for a while.

...and THAT was the last anyone heard from STEELHEART for about ten years.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

OMG and WTF?!?! Could it be ANOTHER foreign-language trailer for X-MEN: FIRST CLASS???

It SURE is, and in this one at least everyone's speaking English!

Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck...

Kristin Bell looks just lovely in a yellow bikini

Agree with us, dammit... or we'll send Charlie Sheen to your house to babble you to death.

Lux Cassidy and Michelle Maylene are awfully friendly and awfully fond of hot pants (FreakShow Planet)

"Your Highness" star Natalie Portman Slideshow (Celebrity Teaser)

Tierra Lee is All Natural and all kinds of ... wait, what were we saying (z0d)

McKenzie Miles is on the golf course, but we're willing to bet her handicap is holy hell in a handbag (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Back in 1986, MEAT LOAF... err, OZZY OSBOURNE went on British TV to explain biting the head off a bat:

"His name was Robert Paulsen"..."His name was Robert Paulsen"..."His name was Robert Paulsen"...

Robert Paulsen wrote a book? No way, dude!
...and if you ever wondered what it would be like to work for a band like PANTERA, wonder no more son...

Slugging down hot sauce, salad dressing, multiple drinks and worcestershire sauce for hundreds of dollars? WHERE DO WE SIGN? Well, nowhere now. PANTERA doesn't exactly exist anymore.
That band made some of the best home video EVER. Don't even attempt to argue. You'll lose

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What's that you say? Gianna Michaels? In a purple bikini??? Where???

Oh. Right there. Cool.
and what happens when you put Asa Akira, Alexis Texas, and Kristina Rose in a room together?

Why, you get a movie called BUTTWOMAN vs SLUTWOMAN.

See? No lying going on here, folks...

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make cookies with a cement mixer.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Speeding Teen Takes out Highway, Someone tried to kill Paris Hilton, Rob Halford's Leather and Chains, MEGADETH in Hollywood, DROWNING POOL does PANTERA, Capri Cavalli will get you fired, PLAYBOY's Sofia Lane, Kiss Kara does homework

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not even remotely as bad as your receding hairline and breath. Here's a mint and some Rogaine)

If you're going to take out a freeway for six hours, you might as well do it Dukes of Hazzard style:

Car split into three pieces, and the kid LIVED... let's all get dashboard-cameras and see what kind of mayhem we can record while driving!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Someone tried to Kill Paris Hilton (WWTDD)

Say it ain't so! the world needs vapid blockheads who get famous after releasing homemade sex tapes. Hell, that's most of reality TV.


Someone's surgically-enhanced ass was strolling through the sand (Drunken Stepfather)

C'mon this is an easy one it's not like we haven't posted links to her sex tape a hundred times before. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

'Star Wars' Reimagined as Silent Films (MovieFone)

Giuliana Marino is one seriously spicy meatball...and she's pretty cute too (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Jessica Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Someone Should tell Jana Cova that her tiny necktie isn't nearly enough to cover her for that interview at Hardee's (z0d)

Jana and Jana are Just the Best Of Friends...who get naked a lot and lick each other (Dailyniner)

Catherine: The Weirdest Video Game You’ll Ever Play (The Campus Socialite)

Other Celebrity Stormtrooper Action Figures (Gunaxin)

Poodle Puppy Dances For Freedom (College Humor)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that most of your friends' names are plastered on the front of whiskey bottles)

In retrospect, when you look at all the leather and chains ROB HALFORD shackles himself with:

...the whole gay thing isn't really that shocking, is it?

The guys in MEGADETH are releasing Rust In Peace - LIVE, and this friends, is a little taste of "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due":

Well, OK... it's the WHOLE song. Mustaine's guitar is so pointy, it's a miracle no one in the band gets stabbed with it.

OUr amigos in DROWNING POOL paid homage to the PANTERA guys with their take on "Cowboys from Hell":

Damn, there's some cool shit going on at Ozzfest this year. We's going!

Heavy Metal always leads to...Heavy Hooters!

In any normal job situation Capri Cavalli would get everyone in the office fired for pulling this shit:

But not in Smut-land! You can see the end result of Capri's advances in the full version. It's totally realistic, man. Really.

This beautiful blond bombshell is PLAYBOY's Sofia Lane and she used to be 40 pounds heavier:

But she's not anymore, so put away the harpoon guns and gawk at her shapely hiney in the shower.

We suggest that ALL women do their homework just like Kara:

topless, feeling herself up, in front of her laptop and big-ass flat screen TV Kiss Kara is a Homework Role Model, dammit.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Chinatown Beatdown, Lady Gaga Crowd Surfing, SHINEDOWN live, Vinnie Paul covers PANTERA, NIGHT RANGER rocks the park, Stripper Practice with Alexa & Nikki, Playboy's Dana Dicillo

Ooph. Monday. Wipe the crusties from your eyes and wave good-bye to the married ladies you spent the alcohol-fueled weekend with

Oh don't get all moral now. Adultery is for adults. Not for pussies with a conscience.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Almost as bad as your taste in clothing, your friends, and your deodorant. What did you wear a skunk under each arm today?)

Some drunk asswipe got himself a Chinatown Beatdown, Bosotn-Style!

This'll teach him to mess with the guy holding the Louisville Slugger.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lady Gaga Half-Naked Crowd Surfing (Drunken Stepfather)


Liz Hurley In A Bikini is Annoyingly Awesome (WWTDD)

and as you might imagine, Liz Hurley Without any clothes on is even MORE awesome!

GOOGLED! Top Ten Wildest Google Maps Moments (Part I) (The Campus Socialite)

17 Mouthwatering Facts About Bacon (Asylum)

New Yorker headbutts PA on the set of Gordon-Levitt film (FilmDrunk)

Brianna Blair is giving you just enough of a taste to want to crash through your computer screen (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Ashley Lane (Bullz-Eye)

Snooki Gets The Taiwan Animation Treatment (Warming Glow)

Natalia Cruz gets awfully Cozy with the girl next to her...who has a gun (Dailyniner)

Leela James does "My Joy" LIVE (Soundcheck)

Silvie Thomas slips in ...and out of... a tight white outfit (z0d)


I'M SORRY:
(So sorry your breath could send seagulls away from a Staten Island landfill)

Bruce Dickinson of IRON MAIDEN (on tour now - click for tix!) lost 30 years of coolness in 3 seconds when he slipped and fell on stage:

The stage at Sonisphere in Finland was soaked from an earlier thunderstorm and Dickinson landed flat on his ass. Ker-Splat!

Florida Rockheads SHINEDOWN are out on tour with the Carnival Of Madness:

The guys get to enjoy the finer things in life, like yelling at Motor City Metalheads. See SHINEDOWN on tour with SEVENDUST, CHEVELLE, and PUDDLE of MUDD (click for tickets)

Legendary Drummer Vinnie Paul from PANTERA and HELLYEAH made a PANTERA tribute band very happy:

He was able to bash out "Cowboys from Hell" with an impressive blood alcohol content.

When you close your eyes, do you dream about NIGHT RANGER?

Ah, so YOU'RE one of the three... Bravo, silly goose.

From memorable riffs, to memorable racks...

Stripping is hard work and requires a ton of practice. Alexa Benson and Nikki Sexton can't focus long enough to make it through a session:

They manage to work on their routine for 20 seconds, then boom...the sex happens.

Dana Dicillo is a pure Italian PLAYBOY hottie who wants to be dominated in bed:

So, when you curl up next to her in bed... bring a bat. At least we THINK that's what she wants.

Janelle is a curvy, 23 year-old Latina with exotic green eyes DD-sized breasts, and an ass-tastic hiney that fits perfectly in a tiny thong. We sent Janelle one of our HUGE old-school FoundryMusic T-Shirts, and she wore it for a few seconds, then tossed it aside in favor of fishnet stockings and pink panties. We have ZERO objection to this behavior, and we'll continue to encourage it.
Thanks to our Boston boys in EXTREME for the song "King of the Ladies".



Click the pic. Rub your...(oh, now that's just not neccessary, is it?) then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Janelle LIVE (she'll be wearing next-to-nothing. You wear whatever the hell you want, amigo)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Monday Links: Korean Van Rollover, Adrianne Curry's Bare Hiney, Kate Winslet is Single and Sexy, Axl Rose Hissy Fit, Pint-sized PANTERA tribute

How did YOU spend your weekend? did it look anything like this?



If not, then time's a'wastig! Adultery is good old-fashioned adult fun. You're a grown-up. Go enjoy yourself.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(So is your smile. Keep your mouth shut, or risk having all of your teeth chisled out)

What the fuck are the cars in Korea being made out of?




That van barely got clipped, and over it went!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:





Adrianne Curry posted this picture of her Bare Ass On Twitter (Drunken Stepfather)



...and if that's too subtle for you Adrianne Curry certainly isn't shy about being Naked.





Kate Winslet is Single! (WWTDD)



Holy Hot Shit! Kate Winslet is NAKED!



South by Southwest - SXSW 2010 - Blog and movie reviews (Bullz-Eye)



Codi Carmichael is kinda cute...and VERY naked... outdoors, even (FreakshowPlanet)



The new PREDATORS movie looks pretty cool (Dave and Thomas)



Kayden Kross Kan't Keep Her Klothes On (z0d)



The Corned Beef and Cabbage Cocktail. You know, for St. Patty's Day (The Bachelor Guy)



Gemma Massey and her huge British Boobs on a Sprial Staircase (Dailyniner)



Play Video Games. win Hamburgers (Heavy)



The Biggest Rivalry in College Basketball -- Definitively Proven by Math (Asylum)



The 5 Best Zombie Movies Never Made (FunnyCrave)



Evan and Gareth: Tie (atom)



Being a Playboy Campus Rep Looks Fun (The Campus Throne)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your breath stinks like booze, and your hair smells like old man breath. Repress much?)

Oh Boy. Someone threw a bottle on stage and Axl Rose threatened to cancel GUNS N' ROSES show in São Paulo, Brazil:



Same shit. Different decade... right, Axl?

It's a pint-sized PANTERA tribute with a group of teenagers in Lexington, Kentucky:



OK, who wants to take bets on which one will be the first tragedy? Too morbid? Eh, maybe.

From heavy metal to heaving hooters...

Even if you haven't heard of Trina Iglesias, you've probably SEEN her on the cover of EVERY mens' magazine EVER:



If you keep looking, you'll see hundreds of totally nude videos of Trina as well.

What's better than a young firm pair of bosoms? Oh, hows about FOUR PAIRS OF BOSOMS?



Who gives a shit if they can't wash a car? These girls look GREAT naked.

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.