Weekend Flings, Worst SUV Driver, Church collapsing, Lindsay Stole a Rolex, Massive Melon Mystery, Steve Vai and Orianthi do 'Stairway', Brazil Loves MEGADETH, Jenny Hendrix is Oily, Huge Polish Hooters

It's time to make some reservations and spend the holiday weekend banging that sexy co-worker you've had your eye on:

This pristine motel room is brought to you by the people who encourage inter-office affairs. Bring a few changes of clothes.

Because if you don't move soon, the Dancing Bear is going to pick up where you left off...

If you don't fill that empty spot, then SOMEONE...or SOMETHING...has to.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(just like your attitude and your face. Please adjust both accordingly... with a chainsaw))

Your SUV is mounting the car in front of it...


...you're officially the WORST driver on the planet.

Man builds church to honor God. God makes rain to destroy church...


Oh no. It's the Apocalypse. Everybody Run.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lindsay Stole a $35,000 Rolex! (WWTDD)

Hey-O! Maybe she can get in on a work release program that involves her dancing topless or getting chopped into pieces


They're hypnotic, aren't they? Guess who these babies belong to? (Drunken Stepfather)

Come on, it's an easy one brain-dead, blond, and will alter her body drastically to get famous... Shit, we just described every woman in Hollywood. Sorry.

Kim Kardashian: My Husband Beat, Abused Me (PopEater)

Riley Jensen has that all-around innocent girl look...oooh, and she's showing off her pink taco (Freakshow Planet)

TV Power Rankings - Spring 2010 Edition (Bullz-Eye)

Uma Stone is lettting the fresh mountain air graze across her lack of pubic hair (Dailyniner)

20 English Models (DJMICK)

Evidence that the University of Texas at Austin is Playboy’s Top Party School (TheCampusThrone)

Mickey Rourke As A Dog-Loving Ghengis Khan? Yes, Please. (FilmDrunk)

Valentina Vaughn is wearing a very tiny White Thong...and that's it (z0d)

Cougar sighting: 19-year-old Kick-Ass star Aaron Johnson's fianceé/baby mama is 42 (FilmDrunk)

KFC + Krispy Kreme = Luther Double Down (TopCultured)

Top 10 Classic Facebook Fails (TheBachelorGuy)

Accurate Carnival Signs (CollegeHumor)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only ass you get is the lingering stench on a toilet seat)

On Idol Gives Back the other night, STEVE VAI and ORIANTHI gave a li'l help to MARY J. BLIGE for her performance of LED ZEPPELIN's "Stairway to Heaven":

Of course we can't forget Randy Jackson and Travis Barker... they helped too.

Hot damn, them folks in Brazil sure do enjoy the MEGADETH, now don't they?

Listen to them chant along with "Symphony Of Destruction"... them's is possessed!

you know what else Brazilians enjoy?? Brazilians Enjoy Prostitutes!

From big guitars to big booty (like we don't use that line endlessly...)

There's a reason Jenny Hendrix from Big Wet Asses won the 2009 AVN Award for 'Best Threeway Sex Scene' for her role in The Jenny Hendrix Anal Experience:

She's a girl that's willing to go the extra mile... like oiling up her round hiney in BIG WET ASSES 16 - on Demand Now.

Step aside large bottom, we have LARGE BOSOMS to showcase!

Everyone say 'Hi' to Enormously Chesty Polish Gal Rachaela:

Her 36F-sized bosoms cannot be contained by mere fabric... nosiree! Adios, shirt! Here comes the fun...bags.

Why do we love sending out enormous old school FoundryMusic T-Shirts to our FOUNDRY CAMS girls? Because we love seeing what girls like Brooke and Sweet Victoria wind up doing with them. In this case, they made a vest and a miniskirt, respectively.
Thanks to our friends in FRAMING HANLEY for "Stupid Girl".

Click on Brooke blond locks, and stare wide-eyed at the screen for a while

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.