Your old lady is looking, Glass Door vs. Bald Head, Undies at the Oscars, SLAYER in Australia, AARON LEWIS in Connecticut, MEGAN FOX in a jeans commercial... without jeans?

Your marriage might be on the rocks when you find out your old lady is posing photos like this online.

You might want to nip that in the bud or at least start hitting on other women online...you know, tits for tat and all. (yes, I meant to type 'tits')

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

It's just another quiet day in a local jewelry store...

When your day gets interrupted by a glass door you really wish you secured to a cabinet takes out your scalp.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


who was one of a million actresses to wear her underwear to the Oscars? (Drunken Stepfather)

Let's see, what kind of hint could we give... if you don't think of this one fast, you're going to be furious, amigo


Doing the Math: Here’s How CBS Can Subtract Sheen and Still Come Up With “Two and a Half Men” (FreakShow Planet)

Car Review: 2011 Nissan Xterra (Bullz-Eye)

Alexa Nicole has great ... earrings. Yeah, that's what you're looking at. (z0d)

Jasmine Foxx. No relation to Jaime Foxx... is sitting on the counter sans-undies. We hope someone disinfected those tiles (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

SLAYER are the best bunch of thrash metal old farts E V A R:

This was in Australia over the weekend, and EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt is filling in for Jeff Hanneman, who lost a leg in a folding couch mishap. Umm, that's a lie.

STAIND frontman Aaron Lewis was in Connecticut with a rather large slide guitar player:

Aaron entertained the crowd. Chubster entertained the idea of eating a few chickens.

From Shoe-staring to Bosom-ogling, we bring you the following announcement:

Saaay, is that MEGAN FOX in a commercial for Armani Jeans?

If so, someone might want to tell her it's a jeans commercial. She's not wearing any. Jeans, that is.

If you had Double-D cans like Katerina Hartlova, you'd take a break from cooking to fondle yourself with a carrot.

Don't act like you wouldn't. We know you WOULD. Shut up. You're a liar. You WOULD.

The lovely and sort-of talented Carmella Bing has a whole rack full of sex toys... but she opts for... A Banana??

Sure, why go with the sterilized plastic vibrator when you can shove an aphid-covered Banana up yer butt. Not too many lights on in her attic.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Friday Links: Bikini girl affairs or the Dancing Bear, Joe Francis/Jayde Nicole fight, Shauvon Torres Implant busting Belly flop, Link love, SLASH plays Dodger Stadium, Katerina, Merilyn, and their big boobs

How will you spend YOUR weekend? Will you engage in a torrid affair with a lovely bikini babe?

These hot-as-hell bikini girls were brougt to you by the people who encourage affairs with sexy young bikini girls.

Because if you don't spend time with these girls... The Dancing Bear will:

He's not subtle...He's not gentle.. He's the Dancing Bear... the girls love him.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

This video of Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis getting attacked by Brody Jenner's girl, PLAYBOY Playmate Jayde Nicole...

...is going to make it very hard for PLAYBOY Playmate Jayde Nicole to deny she picked a fight with Joe Francis. Still, the attorneys still need to get paid.

Considering all of the physical activity and fake tits in reality shows...

We're shocked it took this long for someone to bust open an implant (or at least THINK she did). Congrats Shauvon Torres!

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:
(But your piss-poor attitude IS, so why not lighten up before someone cripples you)

College Kids - Make some extra scratch...without selling access to your doodie hole

Kayden Kross Teaches You How To Get Your Girl to do Anal (Drunken Stepfather) ...whoa boy ...We LOVES us some Kayden Kross - On Demand, yousonsabitches!

Danielle Trixie plays pool... oh, and she's naked! (Daily Niner)

A chat with Kevin Smith (Bullz-Eye)

Tylene Buck...really likes to...take her bikini off. (z0d)

Lanny Barbie. 'nuff said.

The 20 Funkiest TV Theme Songs (Gunaxin)

Top 10 Pop Culture Last Supper Parodies (Nextround)

Kanye West Comments On Barack Obama's Nobel Prize Win (HEAVY)

Where does Chocolate Milk Come From? (atom)

5 websites During the Zombie Apocolypse (College Humor)

The Prediction Test (Today's Big Thing)

Essential Guy App Roundup

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only ass you get to look at is your own. In the mirror. When you're popping butt zits)

Sexy Czech blond Katerina Hartlova is peeling off her pink lingerie:

When you have boobs THAT big, you have to let them air out. Or not. We don't know what we're talking about.

As long as we're talking about really big boobs, Merilyn Sakova is letting her boobies breathe:

What the hell is in the water in Eastern Europe that's making these boobs so big? Sheesh.

From Big Boobs to Big Guitars, it's SLASH playing the national anthem at Dodger Stadium:

HARDWARE is being re-released on DVD and Blu-Ray next week.. uncut...uncensored. You know, the good version.

Shifting gears RADICALLY, here's one more push for our own Sweet Victoria from FOUNDRY CAMS in the tightest outfit imaginable, and rocks out with LYNCH MOB:

QUICK! CLICK ON SWEET VIC...TORIA, that is.

(and now to recap... for those of you with the attention span of birds. Including us.)

Don't get a hooker. Have an affair with a co-worker, and get drunk looking at our MEDIA SECTION, where you'll see:

Busty Merilyn Tries on a Ton of Tops
SLASH performs the National Anthem at Dodgers Stadium
Shauvon Torres Implant-busting Belly-Flop
Katerina Hartlova Peels off her Pink Lingerie
CCTV: Joel Francis fighting with Jayde Nicole
Sexy Argentinian Babe loses Her Black Lingerie

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