Your old lady is looking, Glass Door vs. Bald Head, Undies at the Oscars, SLAYER in Australia, AARON LEWIS in Connecticut, MEGAN FOX in a jeans commercial... without jeans?

Your marriage might be on the rocks when you find out your old lady is posing photos like this online.

You might want to nip that in the bud or at least start hitting on other women online...you know, tits for tat and all. (yes, I meant to type 'tits')

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

It's just another quiet day in a local jewelry store...

When your day gets interrupted by a glass door you really wish you secured to a cabinet takes out your scalp.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


who was one of a million actresses to wear her underwear to the Oscars? (Drunken Stepfather)

Let's see, what kind of hint could we give... if you don't think of this one fast, you're going to be furious, amigo


Doing the Math: Here’s How CBS Can Subtract Sheen and Still Come Up With “Two and a Half Men” (FreakShow Planet)

Car Review: 2011 Nissan Xterra (Bullz-Eye)

Alexa Nicole has great ... earrings. Yeah, that's what you're looking at. (z0d)

Jasmine Foxx. No relation to Jaime Foxx... is sitting on the counter sans-undies. We hope someone disinfected those tiles (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

SLAYER are the best bunch of thrash metal old farts E V A R:

This was in Australia over the weekend, and EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt is filling in for Jeff Hanneman, who lost a leg in a folding couch mishap. Umm, that's a lie.

STAIND frontman Aaron Lewis was in Connecticut with a rather large slide guitar player:

Aaron entertained the crowd. Chubster entertained the idea of eating a few chickens.

From Shoe-staring to Bosom-ogling, we bring you the following announcement:

Saaay, is that MEGAN FOX in a commercial for Armani Jeans?

If so, someone might want to tell her it's a jeans commercial. She's not wearing any. Jeans, that is.

If you had Double-D cans like Katerina Hartlova, you'd take a break from cooking to fondle yourself with a carrot.

Don't act like you wouldn't. We know you WOULD. Shut up. You're a liar. You WOULD.

The lovely and sort-of talented Carmella Bing has a whole rack full of sex toys... but she opts for... A Banana??

Sure, why go with the sterilized plastic vibrator when you can shove an aphid-covered Banana up yer butt. Not too many lights on in her attic.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Another Tranformers 3 Accident, Silver painted hiney, Aaron Lewis Reprimands, Sully Erna throws Microphones, Helloween asks Are You Metal? Shyla Stylez, Alanah Rae, Janessa Brazil get very friendly

Hey there! Might we interest you in some beginning-of-week debauchery? yeah, we thought so. Take a look at these frisky young things:

Who cares if they have boyfriends? No boyfriend in room = no attachments. They're all of age.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but the size of your clothing keeps increasing, and that's pretty upsetting, dontcha think?)

Bumblebee transformed into a crumpled piece of twisted metal:

They're making a new TRANSFORMERS movie... and they might just finish it if they could stop crashing cars and sending people to the Emergency Room.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Aw shit, we lied...this IS terrible:

Whose silver-covered rump is going to be in W Magazine? (Drunken Stepfather)

We could tell you but you probably already know... she's got a thing for black dudes and videotaping her sessions with them. Give up yet? Hope not.

The Insane Genius of Wesley Willis (UPROXX)

Julia crown is a Royal Piece of Ass (Freakshow Planet)

The best of the first year of Guyism (Guyism)

A Chat with Jim Breuer (Bullz-Eye)

Ann Marie Le Sante... Lots of names. One amazing body (z0d)

Ariel has dark red hair and umm... uhh...wow, what were we saying? (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you get winded walking from your car to the front door. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday)

Kids, if you're going to see STAIND singer Aaron Lewis, be sure to keep your conversations to a dull roar:

Or he'll stop playing and reprimand you just like when you were in high school.

moving on to a fellow Mass-hole, SULLY ERNA FROM GODSMACK is out on tour (get those tickets) and throwing mic stands like a loon:

Why not go see GODSMACK On tour with DROWNING POOL and FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, and ask Sully politely not throw a mic stand at your head.

The band is promoting their latest album, The Oracle:

...and of course Sully just released his solo album Avalon, which is, to put it mildly, mellow as hell:

Our German buddies in HELLOWEEN want to know "Are You Metal?":

The girls with the bear traps on their heads seem to think they are VERY metal.

Be on the lookout for the band's new album 7 Sinners


From metal, we sliiiide on over to... MELONS! cuz that's what we do...

Busty beautiful Alanah Rae and Shyla Stylez start off in the ring beating the stuffing out of one another:

But after a few minutes fighting turned into a very friendly game of 'touch my no-no spot'. We love when girls are friendly to one another.

Busty Brazilian Janessa Brazil (nice name, right?) has a friend named ... Idelsy? (yeah, we don't get it either)

They're both wrapped in tight lace lingerie, but not for long, folks! They get awfully fond of one another and we love when that happens.

Our friends in PAPA ROACH, who just released Time For Annihilation..On the Record, and On The Road gave us their song "Burn".
We had our own Nina from FOUNDRY CAMS tear up a FoundryMusic Shirt and make us a spank-tastic video:



Click on Nina's Cleavage to check out her Smokin' Hot Body...and then some.

Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Nina LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.