Your old lady is looking, Glass Door vs. Bald Head, Undies at the Oscars, SLAYER in Australia, AARON LEWIS in Connecticut, MEGAN FOX in a jeans commercial... without jeans?

Your marriage might be on the rocks when you find out your old lady is posing photos like this online.

You might want to nip that in the bud or at least start hitting on other women online...you know, tits for tat and all. (yes, I meant to type 'tits')

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

It's just another quiet day in a local jewelry store...

When your day gets interrupted by a glass door you really wish you secured to a cabinet takes out your scalp.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


who was one of a million actresses to wear her underwear to the Oscars? (Drunken Stepfather)

Let's see, what kind of hint could we give... if you don't think of this one fast, you're going to be furious, amigo


Doing the Math: Here’s How CBS Can Subtract Sheen and Still Come Up With “Two and a Half Men” (FreakShow Planet)

Car Review: 2011 Nissan Xterra (Bullz-Eye)

Alexa Nicole has great ... earrings. Yeah, that's what you're looking at. (z0d)

Jasmine Foxx. No relation to Jaime Foxx... is sitting on the counter sans-undies. We hope someone disinfected those tiles (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

SLAYER are the best bunch of thrash metal old farts E V A R:

This was in Australia over the weekend, and EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt is filling in for Jeff Hanneman, who lost a leg in a folding couch mishap. Umm, that's a lie.

STAIND frontman Aaron Lewis was in Connecticut with a rather large slide guitar player:

Aaron entertained the crowd. Chubster entertained the idea of eating a few chickens.

From Shoe-staring to Bosom-ogling, we bring you the following announcement:

Saaay, is that MEGAN FOX in a commercial for Armani Jeans?

If so, someone might want to tell her it's a jeans commercial. She's not wearing any. Jeans, that is.

If you had Double-D cans like Katerina Hartlova, you'd take a break from cooking to fondle yourself with a carrot.

Don't act like you wouldn't. We know you WOULD. Shut up. You're a liar. You WOULD.

The lovely and sort-of talented Carmella Bing has a whole rack full of sex toys... but she opts for... A Banana??

Sure, why go with the sterilized plastic vibrator when you can shove an aphid-covered Banana up yer butt. Not too many lights on in her attic.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Auto-Tuned Earthquake Warning, SCREAM 4 Traler #2, Tight and Toned Tushy, DISTURBED and SEVENDUST in PA, STONE SOUR, Carmella Bing, Alexis Texas and Her Booty

Psst... your mom is posting photos of herself online again:

Apparently, the old man isn't getting the job done at home. perhaps one of your friends could help?...Yeah, we know. Sick, right?

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

Oh Frankie McDonald, your Earthquake warnings are so... unnecessary.

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie, they just got a whole lot funnier.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

More Ghostface Killer = More Excellent! The second trailer for the latest entry in the SCREAM film franchise has hit the web, and the body count is R I S I N G:

Does Neve Campbell die in this one? Oh sweet lord, does anyone even CARE?!?!?!.

The most toned-ed hiney ever is going snorkeling (Drunken Stepfather)

You might actually know this one...if you're into the muscular girls.. and if you're not, then you'll never ever guess this one.

Jenna Jameson...when she was still kinda normal looking (FreakShow Planet)

Building Blocks: Why "Minecraft" matters to Gamers (Bullz-Eye)

Spicy Latina Lupe Fuentes likes her skateboard...and likes her shirt off (Dailyniner)

Cydel is one of the few women that makes us re-think our dislike of redheads (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

DISTURBED has hit the road on the MUSIC AS A WEAPON TOUR once again:

and if gorilla noises are wrong, these guys don't wanna be right.

Speaking of MUSIC AS A WEAPON, those guys in SEVENDUST are on the road with DISTURBED, KORN, and IN THIS MOMENT:

SEVENDUST... screaming at Seven Thousand Fans? I'm MINDING...MY...OWN...BUSINESS!!!! FALCONS ON TOP! FALCONS GONNA WIN!!

Ladies and Germs... We present the softer side of STONE SOUR frontman Corey Taylor:

Simple is better, sometimes...cuz you don't need to bother...

From big bands to big booty and big boobies...

Alexis Texas thinks her butt can knock pictures off the wall:

Gee honey, that's fantastic. Can you make it rain, too? Can ya?

Busty brunette Carmella Bing is going out to dinner and spent an awful lot of time lotioning up her boobs:

If all women took this long to lotion up, all men would starve to death.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Beach MILF, Dee Snider Forgets Lyrics, ALTER BRIDGE, HINDER and PRETTY MAIDS live and on FOUNDRY CAMS, Rachel Starr and Carmella Bing despise tight clothing

You see this? this is the body of a lonely married lady hanging out at beach getting hit on by a guy that SHOULD be you.

Her husband is back home nailing his secretary so it's your turn to make a move on this fine piece of mommy muff

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

Either Dee Snider has way too much on his plate or he's got Alzheimer's...because the TWISTED SISTER frontman is starting to forget the words, maaaaan.

"You can't stop Rock and ---" aww, crap. Forgot the words.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


WOW! Who knew SHE had boobs like these? (Drunken Stepfather)

Apparently everyone EXCEPT us knew she liked getting naked on film... You'll still never guess.

Featured Model: Jacqueline Suzanne (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Oh Peach, you're jut as sweet as a ... oh you get the idea (FreakShow Planet)

Isis Taylor is in a tight pink bikini...anyone wanna guess for how long? (z0d)

Kayden Kross is about to do something very naughty with a very LUCKY candy cane (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

CREED minus Scott Stapp equals ALTER BRIDGE and EVERY TIME I DIE?

The singer is Myles Kennedy, who just happens to be singing in SLASH's solo band and... so he's kind of, well, you know... talented.

Our friends in HINDER have have a new album out TODAY called All American Nightmare, and this is them playing the title track in York, PA:

No. Nobody slipped on a banana peel or caught on fire. It's just a good tune, that's all. OK, you go now.

OOh! Almost forgot! Speaking of HINDER, they gave us music for:
this Foundry Cams video:

and
THIS FOUNDRY CAMS video with the twins

Speaking of bands that have given us songs for FOUNDRY CAMS videos, check out Danish rock band PRETTY MAIDS doing what they do best... in Denmark, of course:

Those guys gave us music for Breanna's FOUNDRY CAMS video.

And now we yank the steering wheel to the left all the way toward...the boobies! Yaaaaay Boobies! (yeah, I know. We're a bunch of children)

Oh...Sweet...God... RACHEL STARR cloned herself!

Oh wait, sorry. That's a mirror. We know because we saw the full-length scene in CURVY GIRLS 5 (click to watch it on Demand). We like to do our homework.

You've seen her before, but might not know tha this is Carmella Bing and she's got on a very very tight dress:

She gives you a little sample here, but The full madness is in CURVY GIRLS 4 ... and yes, once we get into a series, we beat it to death.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Fireworks vs Scooter, New Boobs on RateMyWow, Mel Gibson Hates Oksana and Misses his Lakers, Pam Anderson's new PETA ad, Aweome EXPENDABLES Trailer, Bret Michaels vs the Out-of-Tune Guitar, Carol Goldenerova is No Mechanic, Carmella Bing is covered in Oil

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

Why sell that old scooter to a fellow Russian when you can blow it up with a big ass brick of fireworks?

Oh, who are we bullshitting? Blowing up shit with fireworks is fun everywhere.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for LOAD MY MOUTH and SHE IS HALF MY AGE (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of nicely nubbed Asian PERRY and SWEET JANE:


RateMyWOW: SWEET JANE
RateMyWOW: PERRY

The most awesomest trailer for The EXPENDABLES wasn't done by the folks at LIONSGATE. Go figger.

Sylvester Stallone Testosterone-Fests are meant to dominate the box office. Right?

Mel Gibson Hates Oksana & Misses the Lakers (WWTDD)


Pamela Anderson's Controversial New PETA ad (Drunken Stepfather)

Oh thank God for that... Pamela Anderson's homemade sex tapes were getting so boring... Wait a minute, no they weren't.

A LeBron James Haters Guide (FunnyCrave)

Buxom Brooke Lee Adams just busted out of her sweater. Who's complaining? No one. That's right. (Freakshow Planet)

The Sorcerer's Apprentice - A movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

Cody Love just LOVES to get naked and play with herself. We Love Cody Love for doing that (Dailyniner)

UPROXX Summer Guide: The Hottest New Video Games (UPROXX)

Eight of the Creepiest Places to Check Into on Foursquare (Asylum)

How come WE never had teachers that look like Brooke Banner? (z0d)

The Old Spice Guy Proposes A Swan Dive Into Marriage (Campus Socialite)

How To Poop At Work, in case you didn't know (Dave and Thomas)

'Axe Cop' Coming to Print at Dark Horse Comics (Comics Alliance)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

Yes, he's our buddy. Yes, BRET MICHAELS (who has a new CD to promote) was on The View playing with a very out-of-tune Guitar:

Ten bucks says some roadie got beaten with that guitar as soon as they went to commercial.

From poorly-tuned guitars to nicely-tuned ta-ta's...

Sexy Czech Carol Goldenerova doesn't know a thing about fixing cars, but she's got a socket wrench and really big boobs:

So we're going to drop our car off and pray for the best... if Carol spends the whole time feeling herself up... we'll be OK with never driving our shitbox again.

Busty brunette Carmella Bing must be in a really tight bikini... cuz she's got to cover herself in baby oil to get out of the thing:

...or are we missing the point entirely? Watch Carmella's whole raunchy scene in Big Wet Tits 6 (which you can see on-demand) ...and decide for yourself, pal.

What do two naked hotties like Renna Ryann and Diamon James do when they're alone?

Why, they lick chocolate icing off each other ...which is, of course, how we think ALL women behave together. Because we're totally deluded.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Monday Links: MLK Day Madness, Exploding Wine Box, Night Ranger and All Star NAMM Jam, Golden Globes Hilarity, Carmella Bing and Sasha Cane

It's MLK Day and we're doing exactly what the good doctor would have wanted. We think.

It's Just what you were waiting for Bam Margera and Gina Lynn. Together. At. Last.



Get 'FantASStic Whores 4' now...classy, right?

Read up on all of our ass-tastic reviews - online in the SHOP section. We'll be adding up more every day!



THAT's TERRIBLE:

A box of wine is a fancy beverage for fancy people. What happens when you put one in a cheap Microwave oven?




Don't buy a Microwave and DON'T blow shit up in it. That's just silly.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but your sour puss is. How's about removing it with a kitchen knife?)





Which award-winning actress hit the Golden Globes looking like Bigfoot in a dress? (WWTDD)




Mischa Barton has a new gig
(Drunken Stepfather)



who wants to see Mischa Barton's ta-ta's?!?! *raises hand*



Bryleigh Rayne is trying to play shy. It's not working (z0d)





Girl Next Door: Cristy Mendevil (Bullz-Eye)



Georgia and Jana are touching tongues...and that's not all! (Daily Niner)



The Women of 24...All of them (FunnyCrave)



Veronica Saint...is no saint. We just thought of that. (FreakshowPlanet)



Hoops for Haiti Raises over $1 Million for Charity (Buster Sports)



Umbrellas, Tyson, and Blue People: The 2010 Golden Globe (Yep Yep)



Mariah Carey's Cleavage would not be denied (Don Chavez)



The 10 Dumbest Things Billy Bush Said Last Night at the Golden Globes (FilmDrunk)



15 Rock Stars that Went Off the Deep End (Fork Party)

I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you think your grudge-holding skills could win you a Nobel Prize. If the Swedes gave those out, that is.)

Busty brunette adul starlet Carmella Bing is showing off her Double-D Cups:



Being topless makes knob-gobbling so much easier.

Sexy, sultry, surgically-augmented Sasha Cane rides the stripper pole in he VIP room:



There's a lot more going on after the jump...drool bib, time.

When you close your eyes, do you dream about NIGHT RNAGER?



We thought you might. That's why we posted this clip from this weekend's jam at NAMM.

Speaking of NAMM, here's Don Dokken, Carmine Appice, Paul Gilbert, Doug Aldrich, and Uli Jon Roth doing the CREAM classic "Sunshine Of Your Love":



You should be Rockin' with Dokken. Everyone else is. Seriously.

Blond, BISEXUAL Lizzy from FOUNDRY CAMS has a lot of tattoos. That's an understatement. Thanks to our buds in SwampDaWamp for giving us the song "Lady".






CLICK ON THOSE TATTOOED TA-TA's!

Take a break from hitting on the lonely MILF next door, and recap what we added to the MEDIA SECTION, including:



Exploding Box Of Wine in a Microwave

NIGHT RANGER: "When You Close Your Eyes" Acoustic LIVE at NAMM

Sasha Cane Rides the Stripper Pole

All Star Namm Jam - 'Sunshine Of Your Love' - LIVE at NAMM

Carmella Bing Busts out her DD Cups

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.