Fireworks vs Scooter, New Boobs on RateMyWow, Mel Gibson Hates Oksana and Misses his Lakers, Pam Anderson's new PETA ad, Aweome EXPENDABLES Trailer, Bret Michaels vs the Out-of-Tune Guitar, Carol Goldenerova is No Mechanic, Carmella Bing is covered in Oil

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

Why sell that old scooter to a fellow Russian when you can blow it up with a big ass brick of fireworks?

Oh, who are we bullshitting? Blowing up shit with fireworks is fun everywhere.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for LOAD MY MOUTH and SHE IS HALF MY AGE (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of nicely nubbed Asian PERRY and SWEET JANE:


RateMyWOW: SWEET JANE
RateMyWOW: PERRY

The most awesomest trailer for The EXPENDABLES wasn't done by the folks at LIONSGATE. Go figger.

Sylvester Stallone Testosterone-Fests are meant to dominate the box office. Right?

Mel Gibson Hates Oksana & Misses the Lakers (WWTDD)


Pamela Anderson's Controversial New PETA ad (Drunken Stepfather)

Oh thank God for that... Pamela Anderson's homemade sex tapes were getting so boring... Wait a minute, no they weren't.

A LeBron James Haters Guide (FunnyCrave)

Buxom Brooke Lee Adams just busted out of her sweater. Who's complaining? No one. That's right. (Freakshow Planet)

The Sorcerer's Apprentice - A movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

Cody Love just LOVES to get naked and play with herself. We Love Cody Love for doing that (Dailyniner)

UPROXX Summer Guide: The Hottest New Video Games (UPROXX)

Eight of the Creepiest Places to Check Into on Foursquare (Asylum)

How come WE never had teachers that look like Brooke Banner? (z0d)

The Old Spice Guy Proposes A Swan Dive Into Marriage (Campus Socialite)

How To Poop At Work, in case you didn't know (Dave and Thomas)

'Axe Cop' Coming to Print at Dark Horse Comics (Comics Alliance)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

Yes, he's our buddy. Yes, BRET MICHAELS (who has a new CD to promote) was on The View playing with a very out-of-tune Guitar:

Ten bucks says some roadie got beaten with that guitar as soon as they went to commercial.

From poorly-tuned guitars to nicely-tuned ta-ta's...

Sexy Czech Carol Goldenerova doesn't know a thing about fixing cars, but she's got a socket wrench and really big boobs:

So we're going to drop our car off and pray for the best... if Carol spends the whole time feeling herself up... we'll be OK with never driving our shitbox again.

Busty brunette Carmella Bing must be in a really tight bikini... cuz she's got to cover herself in baby oil to get out of the thing:

...or are we missing the point entirely? Watch Carmella's whole raunchy scene in Big Wet Tits 6 (which you can see on-demand) ...and decide for yourself, pal.

What do two naked hotties like Renna Ryann and Diamon James do when they're alone?

Why, they lick chocolate icing off each other ...which is, of course, how we think ALL women behave together. Because we're totally deluded.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.