4th of July Fiasco in PA, Lindsay Lohan's Going to Jail, Mystery Mammaries, IRON MAIDEN, OZZY OSBOURNE, and VINCE NEIL are LIVE, Eve Angel, Lupe Fuentes, and Maya Codina are NAKED

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your stench after a weekend of heavy drinking)

The July 4th Festivities in Palmyra, Pennsylvania sent fireworks into the night sky...

...and sent about 11 people to the Hospital. Yay Palmyra!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


It's off to Jail for Lindsay Lohan! (WWTDD)

Do women in jail have to get strip-searched? Oh please say yes... lindsay getting a body-cavity check would make our decade.


Whose ridiculously-huge rapper-wife boobs are these? (Drunken Stepfather)

Will Ferrell: From SNL To The Internet And Beyond (UPROXX)

Hey-O! One of our Cam Girls, Danni Davis is totally nude in Penthouse! (Freakshow Planet)

A Chat With Craig Robinson (Hot Tub Time Machine, The Office) (Bullz-Eye)

Prince Declares the Internet "Completely Over," Puts Out New Album on CD Only (URLesque)

Stay At Home Dad: The Elusive Yeti (atom)

Heather Carolin will make you think again about not wanting to bang redheads (Dailyniner)

How to Look Like Zooey Deschanel (FunnyCrave)

Jana Cova is pulling up her skirt and pulling down her panties (z0d)

Ear-Based Virginity Test (Campus Socialite)

Dutch Porn star offers oral sex to Twitter followers if Dutch win World Cup (Guyism)

San Francisco Mayor Thinks You’re All Fat Enough (EGOtv)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that it's going to take you weeks to get your dried up puke cleaned off the living room sofa)

The Prince of Darkness OZZY OSBOURNE is going on tour (click for tickets) as has discovered the secret to everlasting life:

Always performing with guys 30 years younger than him... duh. This footage of "Shot In the Dark" Live in London is proof of that very concept.

It's IRON MAIDEN! 6! 6! 7! The Neighbor of the Beast!:

Wait, no. That's wrong. oh well, close enough. Maiden is on tour now, AND has a new album coming out (so get those tickets, headbanger).

Straight off a Las Vegas drunk stop, it's VINCE NEIL, ladies and gentlemen! on stage LIVE with half of SLAUGHTER:

Rockin' the classic MOTLEY CRUE in Michigan. You go, Vince.

From Naughty singers to naughty housekeepers...how's THAT for a transition?

Hungarian hotness Eve Angel is a Naughty Housekeeper:

...and that is in no way a reflection of her work ethic.

Latina Goddess Lupe Fuentes will use any excuse to get naked:

and if you need more of a fix, you can always get Lupe Fuentes Videos online here

Angelic-looking Adult Starlet Kelly Divine is starring in one of the STRANGEST scenes we've seen in a while:

Hey Fellini, relax a little. It's a skin flick. You're not getting nominated for an Oscar.

This all-natural PLAYBOY beauty is Maya Codina and she's a perky 21 year-old from Tampa:

She also has a tendency to get naked in the kitchen. Like us! Hey, we're almost twins!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.