Sexy Teacher, Clumsy Thief, Replacement Drummer in AVENGED SEVENFOLD, Replacement Guitarist in SEVENDUST, Replacement Everyone in THIN LIZZY, Drunken frontman in LYNCH MOB, Frisky Mary Carey, Pantsless Brandy Talore

All this news about Charlie Sheen's drugged-up debauchery has us feeling a little lonesome.

Thankfully, there are cities full of women looking to have uncommitted flings with total strangers

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your hairline, height, and choice in clothing)

The world's clumsiest thief knocked over a lottery office in Brazil:

Now all the police have to do is find the guy wearing a raincoat and motorcycle helmet. That shouldn't bee too hard, should it?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but youre stench is pretty unbearable. Use deodorant much?)

Will Rihanna ever stop sexting? (Drunken Stepfather)

Monicca spells her name strange, but looks anything but stunning (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Bullz-Eye Car Review: 2011 Dodge Durango (Bullz-Eye)

Ivana watch Ivana get naked in the Grass (Dailyniner)

AAilya Love - strange spelling. Excellent hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the younger guys keep getting promoted over you)

AVENGED SEVENFOLD brought out (what will probably be) their new drummer in PA:

That's a hell of a gig if you can get it. Just ask Mike Portnoy.

SEVENDUST could be the most underrated, under-funded band to ever play in front of thousands of people:

This this them in Iowa, minus Clint Lowery, who is hanging with his new kid.

How many original members are remaining in THIN LIZZY?:

Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.

George Lynch and the rest of LYNCH MOB covered for a very drunk (or so it would seem) Oni Logan in Denver:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the world's first 90 proof singer!

From hard rock, we gently segue into hard nipples (no, not because of the frigid weather, either)

Our pal Mary Carey doesn't need much of a reason to get naked:

She gets horny outside... around pink flowers... in the kitchen... in the living room... in the bathroom... in the pool... in the garage... etc, etc, and so forth

Massively busty Brandy Talore is getting a special delivery:

...and by 'special', we mean the kind of delivery that requires a young lady to answer the door in her underwear. How come this never happens when we answer the door in OUR underwear? Hmmm?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

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Heavy Metal Hotness, Condom Application in the Philippines, Ass Shaking in Concert, OZZY does SABBATH, THE BIG FOUR in the U.S. Finally, Angelina Castro and Priya Rai and their big boobs

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Traffic Court Skating, Chuck E Cheese Brawlin, OZZY OSBOURNE hating, DUFF McKAGAN trailer-ing, MARTY FRIEDMAN shredding, Dayna Vendetta and Sofia Saint Stripping

Oh it's a fine day for traffic court and flings of a judicial nature:

We're happy because the judge probably got laid last night... by whom, we don't know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your breath, receding hairline, and attitude in general)

Let it not be said that there isn't drama inside of a Chuck E Cheese

Hell, that's more drama than the Golden Globes and The Academy Awards combined. Stay classy, ladies.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your face makes us want to puke...)

Jenna Bentley has stupid fake tits (Drunken Stepfather)

Sabrina Marie has some huge hooters (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye's 2011 Winter TCA Press Tour (Bullz-Eye)

Jayden and Lizzie are two terribly friendly lingerie-clad lesbians (Dailyniner)

Hannah Harper has a hell of a hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you keep getting passed over for that promotion, dickbag)

OZZY OSBOURNE's new video for "Let It Die" paints the usual bleak picture of the ol' dove-decapitating madman:

Auto-tuned OZZY. Raaaaaaaawk.

DUFF McKAGAN has a new movie trailer to coincide with the release of his new LOADED album:

...New Label. New Record. New Movie. Duff's a mogul.

Have you seen the MARTY FRIEDMAN video for "BAD D.N.A"?

Well there. Now you have.

From heavy bands to heavy hooters, here we go...

Busty blond babe Dayna Vendetta is oiling up her boobs. Why???

She must be trying to force them through something with a narrow opening.

Perky 19 year-old Sofia Saint loves her couch. You know how we know?

BJecause she's getting naked. Naked on the couch. Luckiest. Couch. Ever.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now scram. Somewhere, someone is making more money than you are...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Sport Bike vs. Car, DUKE NUKEM FOREVER, STRYPER and CHRIS JERICHO covering badly, Zakk Wylde on Californication, Mariah Milano and Mary Carey Showing off...again

Studies have shown that more women than men are carrying on torrid affairs:

...and this is bad...why, exactly? Exactly. It's not bad at all.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your breath, receding hairline, and attitude in general)

yeah, um... there's a reason for those solid yellow lines.

it's so you DON'T cross them and nail an oncoming motorcycle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your face makes us want to puke...)

Blood. Guts. Purple Strippers? Indeed. The trailer for DUKE NUKEM FOREVER has hit the web!

Yes, it should have been released ten years ago. Finally, it's coming.

Amanda Seyfried isn't nearly as repellent as we once thought (Drunken Stepfather)

You might actually know this one...if you're into the muscular girls.. and if you're not, then you'll never ever guess this one.

Zdenka... difficult to pronounce. Very easy on the eyes. (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye Interviews the cast and crew from "Spartacus" (Bullz-Eye)

Yurizan and Phoenix are getting awfully friendly...awfully (Dailyniner)

Jordan Brigden is the kind of gal we'd like to take out for a malted (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you keep getting passed over for that promotion, dickbag)

STRYPER brought out CHRIS JERICHO to sing some SCORPIONS... off key:

We USED to like Jericho. He should stick to FOZZY. STRYPER has a new album called 'The Covering'

Dingy-looking rocker ZAKK WYLDE showed up on Showtime's original series CALIFORNICATION...and played...a dingy-looking rocker:

...at least he didn't play one of Duchovny's girlfriends.

From bikers and bands to boobs and such...

Curvy brunette MILF Mariah Milano is peeling off her pink panties and you get to see it all:

There's equal amounts of silicone and flesh on that woman.

Our buddy our pal Mary Carey is out by her pool...again. She's feeling herself up...again:

We're starting to wonder if that's ALL she does. Hell if we looked like she does, we'd be massaging ourselves all day long.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now scram. Somewhere, someone is making more money than you are...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Auto-Tuned Earthquake Warning, SCREAM 4 Traler #2, Tight and Toned Tushy, DISTURBED and SEVENDUST in PA, STONE SOUR, Carmella Bing, Alexis Texas and Her Booty

Psst... your mom is posting photos of herself online again:

Apparently, the old man isn't getting the job done at home. perhaps one of your friends could help?...Yeah, we know. Sick, right?

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

Oh Frankie McDonald, your Earthquake warnings are so... unnecessary.

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie, they just got a whole lot funnier.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

More Ghostface Killer = More Excellent! The second trailer for the latest entry in the SCREAM film franchise has hit the web, and the body count is R I S I N G:

Does Neve Campbell die in this one? Oh sweet lord, does anyone even CARE?!?!?!.

The most toned-ed hiney ever is going snorkeling (Drunken Stepfather)

You might actually know this one...if you're into the muscular girls.. and if you're not, then you'll never ever guess this one.

Jenna Jameson...when she was still kinda normal looking (FreakShow Planet)

Building Blocks: Why "Minecraft" matters to Gamers (Bullz-Eye)

Spicy Latina Lupe Fuentes likes her skateboard...and likes her shirt off (Dailyniner)

Cydel is one of the few women that makes us re-think our dislike of redheads (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

DISTURBED has hit the road on the MUSIC AS A WEAPON TOUR once again:

and if gorilla noises are wrong, these guys don't wanna be right.

Speaking of MUSIC AS A WEAPON, those guys in SEVENDUST are on the road with DISTURBED, KORN, and IN THIS MOMENT:

SEVENDUST... screaming at Seven Thousand Fans? I'm MINDING...MY...OWN...BUSINESS!!!! FALCONS ON TOP! FALCONS GONNA WIN!!

Ladies and Germs... We present the softer side of STONE SOUR frontman Corey Taylor:

Simple is better, sometimes...cuz you don't need to bother...

From big bands to big booty and big boobies...

Alexis Texas thinks her butt can knock pictures off the wall:

Gee honey, that's fantastic. Can you make it rain, too? Can ya?

Busty brunette Carmella Bing is going out to dinner and spent an awful lot of time lotioning up her boobs:

If all women took this long to lotion up, all men would starve to death.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunk Russian Lady in Garbage, Ted Williams Auto-Tuned, Winona Ryder's Cleavage, Nikki Sixx's New Book, Steven Tyler & Jimmy Fallon, Heather Summers sucks at Sudoku

Someone better tell this gal she forgot to put a shirt on:

Ah, wait... it's intentional. she must be one of them 'promiscuous' types...we never seem to get enough of them.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

what's that noise coming from the garbage chute?

Oh nothing. It's just a sobbing drunk Russian lady. Warning: Ugly Russian breast ahead.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

Golden-voiced Ted Williams loves his Mommy evidently:

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie for this amazing auto-tuned remix.

Because we're mean-spirited... we give you... Winona Ryder's cleavage! (Drunken Stepfather)

and because we're good-natured...here's Winona Ryder's naked body.. of course, depending on who you are, this could also go under 'mean-spirited'.

Eight Legendary Drinking Binges that Only Celebrities Could Have Gotten Away With (The Smoking Jacket)

Jenna is wearing shoes with heels SO big, you have to wonder how she doesn't knock herself out with 'em (FreakShow Planet)

Ten QB-needy teams that passed on Aaron Rodgers in the 2005 draft (Scores Report)

Kristen Bennet is the kind of topless brunette in pink panties you can bring home to Momma (Dailyniner)

Nella Jay has awful argyle socks. Thank God she looks great topless, because those socks are really distracting (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

Nikki Sixx has a new book coming out called This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography and Life Through the Distorted Lens of Nikki Sixx and SIXX A.M. is releasing an album to go along with it:

Nikki likes taking photographs of wheelchair-bound transsexuals, apparently. Yeah, but who doesn't? Amiright? Amiright?

Steven Tyler (sans AEROSMITH) went on Jimmy Fallon's show the other night to promote his gig as a judge on American Idol, and wound up performing "Walk this Way" with Fallon and THE ROOTS:

... and the song sounded exactly the same. AEROSMITH? Wait, who? When? What?

From kinda smart musicians to kinda dumb blondes...

Heather Summers kinda sucks at Sudoku:

Thank goodness her boobs are huge, otherwise this would be an enormous waste of time.

Speaking of the boobies which are huge:

19 year-old Czech brunette seems to have been trampled by a small woodland creature:

Look at the paw prints on her stomach! What vile miniature creature could have done such a thing?!?!



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.