Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Excited Motocross Kid, NICKELBACK uses lots of Pyro, GREAT WHITE Rocks the Rotary Club, Trampoline fun with Karissa Shannon, Boob time with September Carrino, School Time with Destiny Davis



THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as your hangover breath. Here's a mint, deadmouth)
  • Check out the world's youngest, most-coffeinated motocross rider on the world's tiniest dirt bike:

    Sure would be a shame if after all of that, he lost... Actually, the little fella has to learn about the cold hard sting of life at some point, doesn't he?


  • THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



    Whose rapidly-becoming-irrelevant ass is this in tight pants walking around? (Drunken Stepfather)

    You're so never gonna get this one even if we tell you that she dated Brett Ratner for a while... See? You still have no clue who it is.

    (she's a) Blonde (Dave and Thomas)

    Chris Bosh’s New $12 Million House in Miami (The Hoop Doctors)

    Playboy's Karli Hebisen. weird Name. Awesome boobs. (Freakshow Planet)

    Featured Model: Ashley Layne (Bullz-Eye)

    1st trailer for Coen Bros True Grit, starring Jeff Bridges (FilmDrunk)

    Madison Leah has on see-through plastic bikini bottoms. Hopefully she wipes well (z0d)

    Dad Builds Life-Sized, Drivable R2-D2 (nOOb Dad)

    oh, her name is Dylan Ryder and we'd really like to Ride...(waaaaait for it)... her. Oh yeah. Classy, right? (Dailyniner)

    15 Unusual Sexually Charged Photos (Banned in Hollywood)

    Top 10 Best Cars to Take on a Rally Race (Sub5Zero)

    I'M SORRY:
    (Sorry that you'll be riding the coattails of your drinking buddy until you get booted out.)

  • Those commercialized Canucks in NICKELBACK are on tour now (get them tickets, Paco):

    ...and they kick off their set with "Burn it To the Ground"... with enough pyro to burn the entire venue to the ground.


  • For those not counting, DARK HORSE, the band's 2008 album, has sold... oh, FIVE million copies:

  • On the opposite end of the success spectrum, we have GREAT WHITE, who are touring with JANI LANE rocked the Rotary Club in Farmington, Minnesota:

    JANI LANE is filling in because JACK RUSSELL is recoving from a perforated bowel... How does one get a perforated bowel, you ask? Shhhh...



  • From Hair bands, to hairless ...well, you know.
  • Breastacular SEPTEMBER CARRINO is peeling out of her black lace Bra...and why?

    Because she's got all-natural HH-sized boobs that defy the laws of nature. We can only wonder what those things are going to look like when she's in her 50's.


  • Busty blond PLAYBOY Playmate Destiny Davis is dressed up (barely) in her schoolgirl outfit:

    Wait, she was a PLAYBOY's Miss January in 2005 and she's STILL in school? Wow, she must be a dope.


  • Finally, in honor of our friends at Vivid Entertainment, who are about to release Karissa Shannon Superstar:

    We give you the Shannon twins bouncing on a trampoline at the PLAYBOY mansion. Why? Because we're very... easily...amused.



  • ...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

  • Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

    We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

    FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

    Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

    be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

    We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

    We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

    We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

    FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.


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