MARS needs MILFs, NIKKI SIXX needs Therapy, IRON MAIDEN needs a Plane, The POODLES need to figure out what year it is, Christine Mendoza needs clothing

Good day to you, madam. Planning a trip to MARS? Here's hoping you find a gentleman to spend time with on your trip:

MILFs need hugs devote to humping...and then some. So get to it, fella.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

Ever heard of a place in India called Kerala? No? Neither have we. Until today.

That's some swell driving, buddy. Why not try to keep all of the wheels on the ground next time.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


Why is Karissa Shannon changing a tire in her bra? (Drunken Stepfather)

Ahh, wait. We know the answer to this one. she's trying to attract attention to herself so you'll buy her sex video that she made with her black boyfriend. Sheesh, that was a mouthful.


Madison Ivy in Poison Ivy! heh. Just kidding. She's in Lingerie. Poison Ivy was funnier though (FreakShow Planet)

Cross Fit: The Training, the Games, the B.S. (Bullz-Eye)

Isis Taylor has some nice nubs..and some red friggin' lips (z0d)

Aryka Lynn is ... umm... ah... well. Crap. Train of thought derailed. Hot blondes just do all kinds of things to our no-no place (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

Nikki Sixx and SIXX A.M. have a new video for "Lies of the Beautiful People"

Ironically, it's filled with really ugly people.

Going on a flight? Meet your captain. It's that guy from IRON MAIDEN

Feel safe yet?

Want to wear tight white leather pants? Um, you'd best move to Sweden and hang with The POODLES:

It's 1987 all year long in Sweden, baby.

...and we sashay away from the bands and move on over to...the bimbos! Yes!!!

Whaddya know? It's our old friend Christine Mendoza and she's hanging with her pal Sasha:

So what if the video is four years old? She's still smoking hot, and besides... we saw cleavage and our brains fell out.

Do you know who Brynn Tyler is? No? Neither do we.

Well, ok... we lied. That's a picture of her right there. She's in a bikini, kind of...

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)

...and that, as they say is our way of saying "We love you"... now scram!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Happy Hump Day! Avoidable Crash in Argentina, Lindsay's Nails in Contempt, Mystery MILF Nips, ANTHRAX, LIFE OF AGONY, and the most amazing Violinist - LIVE... Tori Black, Nikki Sims, & Nicole Graves Get Nude

It's hump day! You know what that means, right? find three willing young ladies (attached, unattached, doesn't matter):

...and bring them to a classy joint, so you can see them show off their outstanding.... wait, what were we saying? Sorry. Got totally derailed there for a second. Hineys do that.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your stench after a weekend of heavy drinking)

This CCTV footage from Argentina captured the most avoidable...accident...ever.

Honestly, how did the guy on the bike NOT see that coming?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lindsay Lohan's Nails May Be In Contempt Of Court (WWTDD)

*sob* we may never get to see Lindsay play an armless, legless stripper ever again...*weep*.


Which grasping-onto-fame-any-which-way-she-can MILF has perky nips? (Drunken Stepfather)

Don't think too hard, kids...it's not like her Homemade Sex Video hasn't been featured everywhere in the past few months... yeah, it's kind of obvious.

A Nerd’s Guide To Dating (HEAVY)

Darenzia... Weird Name. Nice Boobs! (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Ashley (Bullz-Eye)

Prince Declares the Internet "Completely Over," Puts Out New Album on CD Only (URLesque)

Dave Chappelle Grounds Plane; Refuses to Poop like a Poor Person (FilmDrunk)

Ashley Kirk. No relation to the captain. Get it? Captain kirk? Echh (Dailyniner)

Wrist-Mounted Flamethrower? Flame On! (GammaSquad)

Ashley is very nude and showing off her no-no spot (z0d)

Calise Hawkins Meets Ron Jeremy (FunnyCrave)

Rusty Kuntz Sound like a funny name? Here are more funny sport names (Campus Socialite)

Ten Hot Hollywood Women That Aged Horribly (Gunaxin)

Wedding Photographer Fail! (Video Gone Viral)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that it's going to take you weeks to get your dried up puke cleaned off the living room sofa)

The guys in ANTHRAX are all from New York, and here they are playing "Indians" To a bunch of Greeks in Athens:

Anyone else feel like they need a geography lesson? No? Just us. Yeah, we're idiots.

Can you believe the guys in LIFE OF AGONY have been around for 20 years?

Well, apparentl, because this show (above) was filmed for the Band's 20th Anniversary CD/DVD release.

His name is Ed Alleyne-Johnson, and he plays electric violin on the streets of England:

Little did we know, Ed has a BUNCH of CD's already released (and being the addicts we are, we bought all of them).

From Rock to Raunch, let's introduce you to a few friends...

This beautiful brunette is Award Winning Adult Starlet Tori Black:

...and this is only a snippet of BIG WET ASSES 16 - which you can see On Demand NOW

Speaking of beautiful brunettes, let's all have a look-see at BumbleGirls beauty Nicole Graves:

The woman can't go more than 30 seconds without feeling herself up and with a body like this, who could blame her? Hell, we'd be lucky to make it FIVE seconds.

Iconic web centerfold Nikki Sims (aka Next Door Nikki) is wearing her lucky shirt:

What's so Lucky about it, you ask? It gets to touch her 34DD's... and you don't. Well, neither do we for that matter.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.