Mami Culo Bueno, New PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN trailer, J-WOWW is an author? Pissing off a cop, Old Farts gone Wild, TM Stevens and Ridiculous bass playing

Yo, homes...we're not saying your mom's got a nice butt...

but based on the those photos she's posting online... We sure as hell are THINKING it!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
( Listen up, monkeybrain - you're not getting any smarter so pay attention PLEASE)

peeling out in front of a cop...

is a GREAT way to get an express ticket to jail... so would you knock it off...please?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, and fuse...which both seem to be shrinking daily. Wow, are YOU a catch)

The new trailer for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: On STRANGER TIDES doesn't make us miss Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom one bit

You've got your Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, and your Keith Richards...who else do you need?

J-WOWW is a best selling author

Someone fucking shoot me. (Drunken Stepfather)

Eufrat has a name that youd associate with a big fat person... but she's anything BUT (FreakShow Planet)

The Top 5 Health & Fitness Myths (Bullz-Eye)

Nika and Sophia are REALLY REALLY friendly...and that is NEVER a bad thing. (z0d)

Keylee Parker andn her friend are having happy nake fun time! (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your teeth are as black as your soul. Here's a few bucks. See a dentist, schmuck.)

If SKID ROW is still singing "Youth Gone Wild" after 20 years...

Wouldn't that make them "Old farts gone wild"? Just sayin'.

...and now for an out-of-control bass guitar solo, courtesy of TM STEVENS:

Fucker is GOOD, but come on, man...some people have jobs to go to in the morning.

Boobies? Booty? Did someone say the magic word? Ehh, maybe:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, new girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what the lovely CARMEN did for Us latley:
The lovely luscious Carmen, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site CAM WITH CARMEN returns with this amazing video where you get to see her behind-the-scenes at one of her many photo shoots.

Thanks to ART OF DYING for giving us "Die Trying" and thanks as always to Jon for the editing.



Whatchoo waiting for, mang?!?! CLICK IT, FOKKER!

Who wants to see what Lexi Belle is up to lately? Looks like about ten sit-ups!!

Shake a tail-feather, honey Asses like that take WORK...Crunch! GRRRR! Crunch!!! GRRR!!.

and of course Jynx Maze needs NO help making her arse look fantastic

except for maybe that cameraman. Take a hike, dude..

...and that, friends... is the way to poop in the woods.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Your Mom in a bikini contest, Egyptian Kids TV, Big Ass In a Bikini, STRYPER does SABBATH, Ridiculous Guitar Solo of the Day, New FOUNDRY CAMS, new VIOLET video, New Jennifer White

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Heavy Metal Hotness, Condom Application in the Philippines, Ass Shaking in Concert, OZZY does SABBATH, THE BIG FOUR in the U.S. Finally, Angelina Castro and Priya Rai and their big boobs

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Kitchen MILF, TRANSFORMERS 3 Teaser, Ozzy don't know Bieber, JACKYL is still kicking around and being tactless, Nikki Sexx, Violet, Sabrina Maree, Jasmine Black, Roxy Taggart are topless

In our twisted universe all married women hang around the house looking like this waiting to get a vist from a gentleman caller.

Now, while she might not be only wearing a thong, she's not waiting around for the old man to get the job done... and that's where YOU come in

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

Joe Torres from WABC-TV in New York was reporting on a Catholic Church robbery, and a woman in the background just HAD to be on camera...

This folks, is either the worst luck in the world caught on camera or God's way of staying "Stay in the background, lady".

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The teaser trailer for Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg's latest entry into the TRANSFORMERS franchise has hit the web:

WHAT??? The robots have been on the moon since 1969 (if not earlier)??? You don't say... Wow. Wait, suspension of disbelief... breathe in... breathe out...keep it together

Some people find her attractive. Some find her simply..odd. (Drunken Stepfather)

On the positive side, She's been naked on film... A LOT... and we can appreciate the hell out of that.

COED’s Ass-ential 2010 Advent Calendar (COED Magazine)

Bullz-Eye.com 2010 Year End Music Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

John Lennon: Interesting Facts About his Life and Death (The Bachelor Guy)

Carli Banks lets people take pictures of her naked, gets paid, then laughs all the way to the...Bank. (FreakShow Planet)

With the Bikini AND sunglasses, Rebecca Rayann is wearing exactly 3 ounces of clothing (z0d)

Heather Joy and her lack of Lingerie will bring you much... Happiness...err, Joy. (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

OZZY OSBOURNE hos no idea who JUSTIN BIEBER is...

...and we could not be happier.

Not only is JACKYL still making music, but this all-white-guy band claim they feel 'Just Like A Negro'. Wait, what?

Isn't that Darryl McDaniels from RUN DMC? eeeeeyup. It sure is... Nice save, fellas.

Now let's throttle back on the maturity level a bit and bring out... you guessed it! Boobies!

Not many people can pull off the bikini-and-platform-heels look outside of the strip club. NIKKI SEXX manages to pull it off perfectly

This is just a little taste, but you can see her full scene in CURVY GIRLS 5 (click to watch it on Demand). Now, dammit.

Ready for some broken-English girl-girl fornication? Who isn't?? Jasmine Black and Roxy Taggart are engaged in some wonderful Romainian/Slovakian kitchen fornication:

The movie is called BIG NATURAL TITS 23 ... and as you migh imagine, the women have... oh, we're seriously over-explaining this one.

The tempting Twistys Treat Sabrina Marie is 23 years-old, but would have you believe that she's really a schoolgirl. Oh, but she's not fooling us, nosiree:

She's using that schoolgirl outfit merely as an excuse to play with herself ... in which case, we're extremely tolerant of her trickery.

The tantalizing, tattooed alt-bombshell Violet, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS clips as well as her own solo site has classed up, and dressed down for this photo shoot:

She'll go way more than topless at her official site ... we're just giving you a li'l taste of her goodness.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Get your Holiday Body Back, Uncle Ted Nugent Selling Crazy, Gisele, FOUNDRY CAMS and FOUNDRY - together at last, Joe Satriani is God, Lemmy is God, Mike Portnoy is Good, Lana and Dawson are very topless

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

The holiday season is just around the corner, and you can either look like this:


...Or you could get a little help from someone who knows what she's doing, and look like THIS:

Choose wisely, Chesterfield.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Old 'Uncle' TED NUGENT would seem a lot more sensible if he didn't sound so F-ing Crazy all the time:

Here's Nugent, kicking back on his porch, selling crazy to the Michigan news. Look at that face.

When he's not being nuts, he actually makes really great music... see?



Kim Kardashian is selling... toilet paper?? (Drunken Stepfather)

A job is a job, right Kim? Atta girl! Just like the 'blow' job you gave Ray J in that tape of yours a while back...just sayin'

Featured Model: Holly Lynn (Bullz-Eye)

Sunny Lane has a shiny landing strip...but not big enough for a plane. (FreakShow Planet)

Anita Dark and another clear case of "Shouldn't have even bothered to wear a bikini" (z0d)

Sophie Dee's Boobs make us want to breast-feed zoo animals. By 'zoo animals' we mean 'us' (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

His name is JOE SATRIANI ...and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

This is his new video for "Light Years away, off of his new CD Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

If you ever wanted to stare at a drummer's armpits for six minutes, now's your chance:


Drummer Mike Portnoy, who used to be in DREAM THEATER, but is currently touring with AVENGED SEVENFOLD, has a camera set up in front of his drum kit. Now you can drool over his sweaty armpits during every show.

God's greatest creation is probably women with big boobs. His SECOND greatest creation would have to be Lemmy Kilmister from MOTORHEAD:


We say this because two guys felt compelled enough about him to make an entire documentary about the man... and that link above is for the second teaser.

From Lemmy, we segue into Lickable Ladies... Nice transition, right?

Everyone...say hello to Ultra-busty Romanian Lana Ivans:

OK, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now because there's a LOT more of Lana to see... click it, dummy.

Don't you just hate when your workout pants are too tight? so does Dawson Miller:

She's out of those constricting pants faster than you can shout "Get Naked or I'll Kill Your whole family!" ... not that you WOULD... just sayin'

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.