Your mom has a crispy butt, SAMMY HAGAR alien bit, DUKE NUKEM FOREVER - Uncensored, X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, Hasselhof's new Girlfriend, ALICE COOPER at Golden Gods, New music from the POODLES and JOURNEY

Remember, kids... you follow us and we'll follow you!
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the cockfights we have going on in the basement
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom's ass is burning on the passenger seat of that car...that doesn't belong to your dad

Apparently she's none too worried about who sees photos like this because she's posting them in online personal ads.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the way you pretend your hair isn't falling out in clumps on an hourly basis)

This bit that SAMMY HAGAR did on Jimmy Kimmel LIVE wasn't all THAT bad:

It wasn't all that GOOD either.

Anything to sell some books, right, Sammy?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, which would look better if you combed your eyebrows up over your head)

The trailer for DUKE NUKEM FOREVER is full of blood, guts...and school girl strippers kissing:

When oh when will this game be available?!?!

Oh. Mid-June. That's not so bad. Heh. We worry too much.

The second international trailer for X-MEN: FIRST CLASS has a handful more of 'blink and you'll miss them' cool moments in it:

The editors must add in the new footage as they get it and then release new trailers.. either that, or their lazy as shit.

Mutants. Make a man mean...usually. Or they make him chubby, depending on how much time he spends on the couch watching these.

David Hasselhoff got his self a cute-ass girlfriend named Hayley Roberts:

For once, it would be nice to be a famous drunk... or just famous.

Nikki Kane and Renee Perez lose their lingerie and don't bother looking for it (FreakShow Planet)

Cisco Kills the Flip Video: What it means to the Consumer Market (Bullz-Eye)

Tito Ortiz on Life with Jenna Jameson (MadeMan)

Amy Reid is wearing her tube top a little, umm...low (z0d)

Cody Love is the dirtiest, most greatest maid of all time (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you're going to muddle through life with the same mediocrity you attack every other task with)

Sorry you missed ALICE COOPER and his original band at the REVOLVER GOLDEN GODS Awards:

Some of those guys look like they could lay off the cheeseburgers... yeah, like who are we kidding? Look who's talking.

All the ALICE COOPER you could ever want to get yer stinkin' mitts on, Chester.

Want to still look cool with tight leather pants and bleached hair? Move to Sweden. Join a band:

Otherwise you just look silly. Speaking of Silly, these guys are called THE POODLES

Performocracy? Yup. Definitely Swedish...Mmmm...swedish fish.

The guys in JOURNEY have a Filipino singer (yeah, we know. Enough already) and a new tour:

They're going to be touring with STYX and FOREIGNER... sponsored by Geritol and Icy Hot.

Ooh, that cool beetle thing-a-ma-jig is back Someone in that band digs beetles, or is running out of ideas.

How much for ze little girlz, eh?

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from one of our newer gals:
Lita Lenee, one of our newer young ladies in the FOUNDRY CAMS flock, sent in an amazing videos with a slightly (OK, VERY) revised old-school FoundryMusic T-shirt. Nikki Sixx and our friends at SIXX A.M. sent in "Lies of the Beautiful People" from their new album "This Is Gonna Hurt". Put 'em together and you have one hell of a great video.
Thanks to Jon for the editing as usual.



CLICK THE PIC. WATCH THE VIDEO. DIG THE MUSIC.

When you're all done, if you have any fluids left in that body of yours, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with the lovely Lita Lenee LIVE on cam!

Thanks again to SIXX A.M. for sending in "Lies of the Beautiful People" from their upcoming album "This Is Gonna Hurt".

...and that, friends... is the way to make gazpacho with dead hookers.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MARS needs MILFs, NIKKI SIXX needs Therapy, IRON MAIDEN needs a Plane, The POODLES need to figure out what year it is, Christine Mendoza needs clothing

Good day to you, madam. Planning a trip to MARS? Here's hoping you find a gentleman to spend time with on your trip:

MILFs need hugs devote to humping...and then some. So get to it, fella.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

Ever heard of a place in India called Kerala? No? Neither have we. Until today.

That's some swell driving, buddy. Why not try to keep all of the wheels on the ground next time.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


Why is Karissa Shannon changing a tire in her bra? (Drunken Stepfather)

Ahh, wait. We know the answer to this one. she's trying to attract attention to herself so you'll buy her sex video that she made with her black boyfriend. Sheesh, that was a mouthful.


Madison Ivy in Poison Ivy! heh. Just kidding. She's in Lingerie. Poison Ivy was funnier though (FreakShow Planet)

Cross Fit: The Training, the Games, the B.S. (Bullz-Eye)

Isis Taylor has some nice nubs..and some red friggin' lips (z0d)

Aryka Lynn is ... umm... ah... well. Crap. Train of thought derailed. Hot blondes just do all kinds of things to our no-no place (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

Nikki Sixx and SIXX A.M. have a new video for "Lies of the Beautiful People"

Ironically, it's filled with really ugly people.

Going on a flight? Meet your captain. It's that guy from IRON MAIDEN

Feel safe yet?

Want to wear tight white leather pants? Um, you'd best move to Sweden and hang with The POODLES:

It's 1987 all year long in Sweden, baby.

...and we sashay away from the bands and move on over to...the bimbos! Yes!!!

Whaddya know? It's our old friend Christine Mendoza and she's hanging with her pal Sasha:

So what if the video is four years old? She's still smoking hot, and besides... we saw cleavage and our brains fell out.

Do you know who Brynn Tyler is? No? Neither do we.

Well, ok... we lied. That's a picture of her right there. She's in a bikini, kind of...

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)

...and that, as they say is our way of saying "We love you"... now scram!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Runaway Crane vs. Police Car, Robust Redneck vs. POISON song, ALICE in CHAINS in NYC, OZZY in Italy, Ripper Owens in Tiny Clubs, The POODLES in tight pants, Sasha Grey topless montage, Big boob-fest with Shay Laren, Ava Addams, Leanne Crow, Jelena Jensen

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as your hangover breath. Here's a mint, deadmouth)

Runaway Crane + Minivan + Bus + Police Cruiser = Big Ass Mess:

There was broken glass and pointy things everywhere. Glass? Who gives a shit about glass?

A robust young, West Virginia Redneck belts out his version of POISON's 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn':

Somewhere, in the back of a tour bus, Bret Michaels is watching this and weeping. We know, because we sent it to the fucker.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Celebrity Flat Ass In Jeans Alert - Oh WHO could it be? (Drunken Stepfather)

OK, here's a clue: she doesn't show her can often *Cough* KNOCKED UP *cough*, but when she DOES... ooga booga.

Christiano Ronaldo's Girlfriend Is A 10 (Banned In Hollywood)

25 Awesome Things Made Out of Beer Cans (Maxim)

Anna Lynn Cruz cruises right out of her lingerie, showing off her outstanding Latina loveliness (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Wrenna Monet (Bullz-Eye)

Rare Footage of Kobe Bryant in High School Scoring 43 Points (The Hoop Doctors)

Mandy Lee steps into the tub and sheds her pesky, cumbersome bikini (z0d)

Possibly The Worlds Most Dangerous Theme Park (DJMICK)

If you woke up next to Susie Addison every morning, you'd never get out of bed. Ever. (Dailyniner)

9 Types of Fans You WILL Find at a Tailgate (The Campus Socialite)

The 15 Most Outlandish Wall Street Indulgences (BroBible)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you'll be riding the coattails of your drinking buddy until you get booted out.)

Those nice boys in ALICE IN CHAINS played Madison Square Garden the other night:

William DuVall's afro was visible from the nosebleed section, incidentally. you can catch Alice In chains on the BLACKDIAMONDSKYE tour with MASTODON and DEFTONES.

Our longtime pal OZZY OSBOURNE is on tour for the next 18 months:

No wonder he yells at his fans so much; the man is overworked and C R A N K Y.

Tim 'Ripper' Owens was plucked out of obscurity to front JUDAS PRIEST:

...and then Rob Halford rejoined the band and Ripper is playing clubs with really low ceilings in Austria.

So, you want to wear tight pants, makeup, and rock out with your cock out? You're probably going to have to move to Sweden to do it:

THE POODLES are living proof that you can still be a glam-rocking dickbag... in Sweden.

From Rock, we segue right to Racks...

Despite her brief detour into mainstream acting, we'll always know SASHA GREY for her day job:

That girl sure can take a pounding... see for yourself... on demand, fools!!

Naturally-big-breasted Ava Addams and Jelena Jensen are groping one another fiercely:

There's nothing like busty women groping one another to throw off a creepy cameraman. You should see what happened next... that God Frenchy shut up.

Keeping with the big-ass-boobs theme, buxom Shay Laren is allergic to gold fabric. Her bikini happens to made of...Gold fabric:

We don't want Shay getting all itchy so ... guess which article of clothing Shay parted ways with?

As if we haven't already given you more boobies than you deserve, Leanne Crow and her Giant Juggs are sitting in an awful egg-shaped chair:

The only thing that could possibly improve this clip is a whole lot of bosom juggling...which fortunately for you, Leanne does. All girl with H-cup boobs should be required by law to juggle their bosoms.

...and that, kids... is the end of today's information-filled update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Monday Links: Drunk Girl In a Tub, Ferrari vs. Bulldozer, Link Love, Bruce Springsteen Slip-Up in Michigan, Poodles at Firefest, Nina Mercedes

Shake off that Monday morning hangover and wake up the drunk woman in the bathtub



Don't worry. Just get her home before her husband wakes up and then you can do it again next weekend...have an affair. Live it up a little!

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Saaay, that's a nice Ferrari, isn't it?




Keep watching. It doesn't stay very nice for very long.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(Your breath, however, smells like stale beer. Brush those teeth, idiot.)




Eliza Dushku has trucker butt!(Drunken Stepfather)

..and you know if you want see Eliza Dushku totally naked, make with the clicky-clicky.

Veronika is Very Innocent...until she takes off her shorts (z0d)



TV Power Rankings: Winter Edition (Bullz-Eye)



Uma Stone is ... is... oooh my Goodness. (Daily Niner)



PENTHOUSE Pet Andi Sue Irwin is Awesome...and Naked. (Freakshow Planet)



Budget Garage Door Opener Spoof (DJMICK)



Vintage Video of Shaq in High School (BallHype)



101 Signs You Might Be Evil (FunnyCrave)



10 female celebs who should be seen and not heard (Guyism)



5 Reasons Jon Gosselin Deserves His Own Reality Show (Top Cultured)



'Dancing With the Stars' Just Got A Lot Better (Warming Glow)



Cormac McCarthy Still a Fountain Of Wisdom (FilmDrunk)



Finally, a handy tool for popping out baby eyeballs [WTF]



'Twilight' STD Spoof (Comedy)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you don't have anything other than laundry to cling to. Chop Chop, pool boy!)

Sexy Latina Nina Mercedez is taking her top off and whoa boy...



and umm... we're totally derailed now. go watch Nina's hardcore footage too.

Keeping with the bosoms, let's take a look-see at PLAYBOY Cyber Girl Jamie Graham:



She's young, possibly-dumb, and full of... um, bosom. Goddamn, we got nothing. Just look at her.

From nipple-slips to on-stage slip-ups, how could we NOT point out Bruce Springsteen's slip up at the Palace at Auburn Hills:



Good evening, Ohio! Err, Detroit. Fuck.

Turning to the slightly-obscure, check out Swedish Melodic rockers The POODLES:



That's "Caroline" LIVE at Firefest 6 in the UK. Why? Because we CAN.

aaaand Back to Boobies with Ann Angel and her great tan lines...



Nina's dancing alone in her room... and lotioning up her boobies. she's doing other stuff too... naughty stuff.

Once again, we turn our attention to Gisele, who you all have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS VIDEOS:



We gave her a Grr Shirt. The guys in SLAUGHTERHOUSE and Koch Records gave us "The One".

GISELE's SHIRT DOESN'T STAY ON FOR LONG... CLICK IT!!!



(and now to recap... for the folks with really low IQ's - us included)

When you finish up boinking the new office manager, click on over to the MEDIA SECTION, and check out what we added:



Jamie Graham Nude Playboy Photo Shoot

THE POODLES: Caroline LIVE at Firefest 6

Ann Angel Dances Topless In Her Room

Bruce Springsteen yells Good Evening Ohio while on Stage in Michigan

Nina Mercedes Takes Off Her Tan Dress

Ferrari loses control and hits Bulldozer

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?


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FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic

Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)

LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)