Sexy Teacher, Clumsy Thief, Replacement Drummer in AVENGED SEVENFOLD, Replacement Guitarist in SEVENDUST, Replacement Everyone in THIN LIZZY, Drunken frontman in LYNCH MOB, Frisky Mary Carey, Pantsless Brandy Talore

All this news about Charlie Sheen's drugged-up debauchery has us feeling a little lonesome.

Thankfully, there are cities full of women looking to have uncommitted flings with total strangers

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your hairline, height, and choice in clothing)

The world's clumsiest thief knocked over a lottery office in Brazil:

Now all the police have to do is find the guy wearing a raincoat and motorcycle helmet. That shouldn't bee too hard, should it?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but youre stench is pretty unbearable. Use deodorant much?)

Will Rihanna ever stop sexting? (Drunken Stepfather)

Monicca spells her name strange, but looks anything but stunning (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Bullz-Eye Car Review: 2011 Dodge Durango (Bullz-Eye)

Ivana watch Ivana get naked in the Grass (Dailyniner)

AAilya Love - strange spelling. Excellent hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the younger guys keep getting promoted over you)

AVENGED SEVENFOLD brought out (what will probably be) their new drummer in PA:

That's a hell of a gig if you can get it. Just ask Mike Portnoy.

SEVENDUST could be the most underrated, under-funded band to ever play in front of thousands of people:

This this them in Iowa, minus Clint Lowery, who is hanging with his new kid.

How many original members are remaining in THIN LIZZY?:

Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.

George Lynch and the rest of LYNCH MOB covered for a very drunk (or so it would seem) Oni Logan in Denver:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the world's first 90 proof singer!

From hard rock, we gently segue into hard nipples (no, not because of the frigid weather, either)

Our pal Mary Carey doesn't need much of a reason to get naked:

She gets horny outside... around pink flowers... in the kitchen... in the living room... in the bathroom... in the pool... in the garage... etc, etc, and so forth

Massively busty Brandy Talore is getting a special delivery:

...and by 'special', we mean the kind of delivery that requires a young lady to answer the door in her underwear. How come this never happens when we answer the door in OUR underwear? Hmmm?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

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Friday Links: Weekend affairs and the Dancing Bear, Swinging Bass Guitar Fail, Link Loving, Bike Thief Beat Down, BODY COUNT live in LA, Gisele, Brianna Frost, Anna Song

It's a somber day. Time to pull out all the stops and plan that romantic weekend...with someone you're not married to.

This rose-covered hotel bed is brought to you by the people who encourage adulterous affairs on rose-covered hotel beds. They're like FEMA...only much sexier

or you could do nothing, and find out about how your weekend fling was trounced by the Dancing Bear...

he works out a lot. Girls dig that.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

You know those really cool guitar players who can swing their instruments around their bodies mid-performance?

This guy...is NOT one of them.

What's the fastest way to get your ass kicked by a bunch of bicycle messengers in New York City?

Steal One of their Bikes.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:
(But your ass-awful attitude IS, so why not cheer up, Chesterfield)

Halle Berry Goes Shopping (Drunken Stepfather)..and and Halle Berry Goes TOPLESS.

Alyssa Reece in a Racy Red Outfit (z0d)

Featured Model: Maya (Bullz-Eye)

Prinzzess Sasha is no Princess. Far from it, in fact. (Daily Niner)

What If Dane Cook Was Negotiating With a Hooker? (Funnycrave)

Indian Accent Prank (yep Yep)

7 of the Loudest Women's Tennis Grunts (World of Isaac)

Valerie Cormier is so pretty, we umm... umm...wait, what were we saying? (Freakshow Planet)

Man Decorates His House With Cigarette Packs (DJMICK)

Who’s the Best Movie Prostitute? (Gunaxin)

You get What You Pay For (Dave & Thomas)

Top Ten Tough Guys in Hip-Hop (Recall)

Worker brings appetite, never food, to office party (Minimum Rage)

The Definitive List of 'The Final Countdown' Covers on the Internet (URLesque)

Viral Dance Video Playlist (College Humor)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you cry your lonely ass to sleep every night because you suck at life)

Would you look at the boobs on Anna Song:

How she stuffs them into a nurse's uniform, we'll never know. Granted, they don't stay packed in for long

Speaking of bare bosoms, you remember Brianna Frost from her FOUNDRY CAMS videos, right?

She really must have a clothing objection. She can't keep her shirt on for very long at all.

From Boobs, we move to bands, and the boys in BODY COUNT, who ripped into their classic "Cop Killer" in Los Angeles:

ICE-T rocking the hardcore.

You remember the lovely Gisele from her many FOUNDRY CAMS:

Even if you don't remember her, you -- oh, who are we kidding? Of COURSE you remember her.

Speakng of our FOUNDRY CAMS girls, let's drool all over Maiya, Sweet Victoria, Kyra, and a slew of others grinding their asses in a Grinhouse-style tribute to our buds in SCUM OF THE EARTH:

CLICK ON MAIYA, DAMN YOU!

(and now to recap... for the people with the attention spans of flies. US included.)

Take a break from boning your roommate's fiancé and check what we added to the MEDIA SECTION:

Brianna Frost Breaks Free From Her Shirt
NYC Bike Thief Beat Down
Anna Song is a Naughty Busty Nurse
Swinging Bass Guitar Breaks Light
Melissa Dettwiller in the Luxor Hotel Lobby In A Bikini
BODY COUNT: 'Cop Killer' LIVE in Los Angeles
Gisele In Diamonds and Thigh-High Boots

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