Sexy Teacher, Clumsy Thief, Replacement Drummer in AVENGED SEVENFOLD, Replacement Guitarist in SEVENDUST, Replacement Everyone in THIN LIZZY, Drunken frontman in LYNCH MOB, Frisky Mary Carey, Pantsless Brandy Talore

All this news about Charlie Sheen's drugged-up debauchery has us feeling a little lonesome.

Thankfully, there are cities full of women looking to have uncommitted flings with total strangers

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your hairline, height, and choice in clothing)

The world's clumsiest thief knocked over a lottery office in Brazil:

Now all the police have to do is find the guy wearing a raincoat and motorcycle helmet. That shouldn't bee too hard, should it?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but youre stench is pretty unbearable. Use deodorant much?)

Will Rihanna ever stop sexting? (Drunken Stepfather)

Monicca spells her name strange, but looks anything but stunning (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Bullz-Eye Car Review: 2011 Dodge Durango (Bullz-Eye)

Ivana watch Ivana get naked in the Grass (Dailyniner)

AAilya Love - strange spelling. Excellent hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the younger guys keep getting promoted over you)

AVENGED SEVENFOLD brought out (what will probably be) their new drummer in PA:

That's a hell of a gig if you can get it. Just ask Mike Portnoy.

SEVENDUST could be the most underrated, under-funded band to ever play in front of thousands of people:

This this them in Iowa, minus Clint Lowery, who is hanging with his new kid.

How many original members are remaining in THIN LIZZY?:

Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.

George Lynch and the rest of LYNCH MOB covered for a very drunk (or so it would seem) Oni Logan in Denver:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the world's first 90 proof singer!

From hard rock, we gently segue into hard nipples (no, not because of the frigid weather, either)

Our pal Mary Carey doesn't need much of a reason to get naked:

She gets horny outside... around pink flowers... in the kitchen... in the living room... in the bathroom... in the pool... in the garage... etc, etc, and so forth

Massively busty Brandy Talore is getting a special delivery:

...and by 'special', we mean the kind of delivery that requires a young lady to answer the door in her underwear. How come this never happens when we answer the door in OUR underwear? Hmmm?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Auto-Tuned Earthquake Warning, SCREAM 4 Traler #2, Tight and Toned Tushy, DISTURBED and SEVENDUST in PA, STONE SOUR, Carmella Bing, Alexis Texas and Her Booty

Psst... your mom is posting photos of herself online again:

Apparently, the old man isn't getting the job done at home. perhaps one of your friends could help?...Yeah, we know. Sick, right?

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Baby it's cold outside...but you don't have to worry because you weigh 300 lbs)

Oh Frankie McDonald, your Earthquake warnings are so... unnecessary.

Thanks to our pal Dru Boogie, they just got a whole lot funnier.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your general state of health IS...)

More Ghostface Killer = More Excellent! The second trailer for the latest entry in the SCREAM film franchise has hit the web, and the body count is R I S I N G:

Does Neve Campbell die in this one? Oh sweet lord, does anyone even CARE?!?!?!.

The most toned-ed hiney ever is going snorkeling (Drunken Stepfather)

You might actually know this one...if you're into the muscular girls.. and if you're not, then you'll never ever guess this one.

Jenna Jameson...when she was still kinda normal looking (FreakShow Planet)

Building Blocks: Why "Minecraft" matters to Gamers (Bullz-Eye)

Spicy Latina Lupe Fuentes likes her skateboard...and likes her shirt off (Dailyniner)

Cydel is one of the few women that makes us re-think our dislike of redheads (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't eat frosting for every meal, tubb-o)

DISTURBED has hit the road on the MUSIC AS A WEAPON TOUR once again:

and if gorilla noises are wrong, these guys don't wanna be right.

Speaking of MUSIC AS A WEAPON, those guys in SEVENDUST are on the road with DISTURBED, KORN, and IN THIS MOMENT:

SEVENDUST... screaming at Seven Thousand Fans? I'm MINDING...MY...OWN...BUSINESS!!!! FALCONS ON TOP! FALCONS GONNA WIN!!

Ladies and Germs... We present the softer side of STONE SOUR frontman Corey Taylor:

Simple is better, sometimes...cuz you don't need to bother...

From big bands to big booty and big boobies...

Alexis Texas thinks her butt can knock pictures off the wall:

Gee honey, that's fantastic. Can you make it rain, too? Can ya?

Busty brunette Carmella Bing is going out to dinner and spent an awful lot of time lotioning up her boobs:

If all women took this long to lotion up, all men would starve to death.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Fitness MILF, Vince Neil looks tipsy AGAIN, old ta-ta's, SEVENDUST beefs up the Atlanta Falcons, MOTORHEAD has a new video, DANGEROUS TOYS is milking the same material, Cynthia Bang Bangs, Lexi Belle and the Lucky Feather Duster

She's ripped, she's in fantastic shape... but she's oh-so lonely because her old man is always working late.

Now's your chance to make your move, bud... Hell, she wouldn't be posting photos online unless she wanted to hook up... well, that and show off her abs.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

MOTLEY CRUE frontman VINCE NEIL was spotted leaving Boa in West Hollywood looking at li'l bit tipsy with a few lovely ladies...

Big deal, right? Well, watch the video, listen to him slurring his words, and then jump behind the wheel of a sports car. Ahh yes, some people don't learn easily, do they?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Ack! Old lady boobs! We're almost afraid to ask who they belong to... (Drunken Stepfather)

As far as guessing goes... She hasn't had much skin time on camera... so that could throw a few of you.

The Ultimate Bacon Lovers Gift Guide (the Bachelor Guy)

Bullz-Eye.com 2010 Year End Music Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Sandy Summers will warm you up on a cold winter day...with her umm, boobies? (FreakShow Planet)

Wowee! We could watch Laura Lee get naked every day! (z0d)

When shawna Lenee isn't going batshit crazy, she likes to have girl-girl sexy time with girls like Ruby (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

The guys in SEVENDUST were called in to beef up the Atlanta Falcons official theme song...

...and that's exactly what they did, dagnabbit.

Lemmmy Kilmister, his face bumps, and the rest of MOTORHEAD have a new video for "Get Back In Line"

The band's new album gets released in the UK this month. We U.S. pukes don't get it until January. The new tunes will put goosebumps on your face bumps.

Hey, more power to you if you can pull it off, because DANGEROUS TOYS have been milking the same few songs for twenty years:

Honestly, we'd think they'd be tired of playing "Teas'n Pleas'n" and "Scared" by now, but apparently not.

OK, that's enough of the high-brow (and yes, by comparison to what we're about to show you, that IS high-brow)

Mellissa wants to show Sammie Rhodes and Samantha Saint how to do the whole ballet thing...

...but the whole event degenerates into a bisexual ballet bonanza in NO time.

We weren't fond of it at first, but Cynthia Bang has a very bang-able booty and she's not afraid to use it:

What she SHOULD do is tell that obnoxious camera guy to shut up. He's reallly yapping too much. shaddup and get to the butt sex

her name is Lexi Belle and she apparently doesn't care who sees her naked ass because that's her, getting nude...on a balcony:

What's more is that is one very very lucky feather duster ... what we wouldn't give to be a piece of lint on that thing.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Car Theft in Buenos Aires, Anna Paquin Wet T-shirt, Shauna Sand is Waxy, Rokken with Dokken at RibFest, God Gave Rock & Wigs to KISS, Those Damned Things Debut, Sandra Romain and Anne's Lovely Bodies

Do you know why God made FRIDAY?
So that you could unscrew you head, dump out the part of your brain that contains morality and hook up with as many women as possible... just make sure the husbands are out of arms reach.

We found out that more women are having affairs than men these days...See? You come here, and you learn stuff!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

How do you steal a shitbox car in Buenos Aires?

With a little elbow grease and another shitbox, apparently.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Anna Paquin is Deceptively Attractive (WWTDD)

Then again, Anna Paquin does like taking her clothes off on camera, so how deceptive is it really?


Oooh! A Wax Statue of Shauna Sand! Wait, no. It's really her. (Drunken Stepfather)

Shauna stick to making sex videos PLEASE...and stay inside

Lauren Anderson Lifts Up Her Tiny Plaid Skirt (Freakshow Planet)

SPLICE: Movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

32 Poorly Translated Subtitles (URLesque)

Four Ways Science Will Kick Death's Ass (UPROXX)

Roxanna, why did you bother getting dressed? Your outfit is full of holes. (Dailyniner)

Drunk Driver Jumps Car Over Airport Toll Booth (Warming Glow)

Natalia Cruz Has A kick-ass body and even more kick-ass body art (z0d)

Badass Men of Manliness: Dennis Hopper (The Bachelor Guy)

How To Fight (Funnycrave)

30 Female Celebrities Grabbing Their Own Boobs (ManOfest)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

You know, you're just not Rockin'...

Unless you're ROKKEN with DOKKEN...at Rib Fest! Um, yeah.

God Gave Rock and Roll to You, sir...:

and God also saw fit to Give a Really Swell Wig to Paul Stanley from KISS because 60 year old men don't have hair like that.

What's this? Members of ANTHRAX and FALL OUT BOY together? In the same place:

THE DAMNED THINGS debuted at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn, NY the other day.

From hard rock to rock-hard abs...on girls...

This is Busty Blond Southern Belle Anne from FTV Girls and she LOVES working out:

She loves working out, pulling out her boobs, working out, playing with sex toys, working out, fornicating with her hand... See? We no lie.

from hard abs to hard butts

hot ass Romanian adult super-starlet Sandra Romain is oiling up her booty:

She must have a very ashy hiney... and you can see Sandra get that hiney ravaged at BIG WET ASSES 8 - on Demand.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Over the Top Drummer, Double Motorcycle Crash, Miley is looking Spicy, Mystery Dumper, Slash in the Netherlands, HELLYEAH's Cowboy Way, Jana Defi and Dorothy Green get topless

Happy Hump-a-Secretary Day! Now go find a secretary to, you know, hump:

This hot-ass secretary was brought to you by the people who encourage affairs with secretaries.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

If 2 Motorcycles Crash and no one is around to hear it...

Do they make a sound?

Meet the world's most over-the-top Drummer

In what could be the world's cheesiest Cover band.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


DAMN. Hello Miley. (WWTDD)


Whose very wealthy dumpy arse is this? (Drunken Stepfather)

Best Passport Rejection Letter Ever (Nextround)

Playboy's Krista Kelly is Kinda Kute (Freakshow Planet)

A chat with Steve Austin (Bullz-Eye)

Valerie Rios and Melanie are Naked...Together...and Very Grabby (Dailyniner)

Job Searching Tips for the Class of 2010 (Gunaxin)

The 25 Funniest Fox News Screen Captures (Manofest)

A couple of Biker bitches get very friendly with a couple of sex toys (z0d)

Top Ten Rock Cities (Ask Men)

9 movie “losers” you’d definitely hang out with (Guyism)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

Our dear old mop-haired, top hat-wearing friend SLASH and his solo band pulled off an amazing version of his song "Starlight" :

That's Slash and Myles Kennedy at the PinkPop Festival in the Netherlands doing tunes from Slash's solo disc

Truthfully, we weren't much into HELLYEAH, but we just saw the new video for "Cowboy Way":

Goddamn. These guys are channeling PANTERA... and it's not like THAT band is coming back anytime soon.

From Heavy Metal to Heavy Bosoms...

Sexy Czech Jana Defi and her 32G-sized boobs are rolling around on the luckiest bed EVER:

that's right. Luckiest Bed EVER. How the hell does this woman walk upright???

From Sexy Czech-ness to Hungarian Hotness, here's Dorothy Green and her outstanding Hungarian hiney getting nude outdoors:

of course, Dorothy does A LOT more than get naked.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.