Friday Links: Mutt in the bed, Porn Star gags during fellatio-fest, Crappy Kansas Driving, KISS on American Idol, Busty Brooke Haven Blows a Glass Dildo

Waking up next to a strange woman is one thing, but DAMN...

Yeah, that's a joke. We don't hump the dog. Often.s

With Terminator: Salvation opening today, it's only appropriate that we feature a Terminator parody all about Handjobs (Thanks to our friends at Atom)

We don't know much about sports, but we DO know Perfect Strangers.

Apparently Manu Ginobili from the SPURS looks like Bronson Pinchot. We're not going to disagree.

Married fella, Carlos? your might want to remind your wife. Juanita is fellating Pedro the exterminator. Again.

Heh. That's one seriously big Kindle. Thanks to our boys at COED Magazine

...and one time, this porn chick named Cora blew SO many guys...

This girl Cora... aka Carolin Berger...is what we call a 'Go Getter'... or a 'Go Gagger'

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Sir... you suck, and so does your driving.

That's it. We're avoiding Kansas at all costs.

Those opportunists is KISS were rockig out with Adam Lambert last night on American Idol:

...yeah, those dirty, filthy... rich as fuck...oppor...tunists. Shit. We choose the wrong line of work.

He's OZZY OSBOURNE and he thinks there's voodoo in your phone...

Rawk. Bitches.

(As long as we're talking about rock bands... MÖTLEY CRÜE is hitting the road with GODSMACK, THEORY OF A DEAD MAN, DROWNING POOL, and CHARM CITY DEVILS at CRÜE FEST 2 this Summer!)

Pictured on stage at Madison Square Garden (March 16, 2009): John Allen of CHARM CITY DEVILS, Tyler Connolly of THEORY OF A DEADMAN, Vince Neil of MÖTLEY CRÜE, Sully Erna of GODSMACK, Ryan McCombs of DROWNING POOL
CRÜE FEST 2 - Click for Tickets!

("CRÜE"... brings us back to "boobs"...because you do SEE lots of boobs at a Crue concert, but that's another story and we're trying really hard to tie everything together nice)
I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you're going to need a mop.)

This hot piece of amazing ass is Brooke Haven and she's got a glass dildo.

...and we all have rods.

Renata Daninsky has an itchy bikini. It has to come off.

Away with you, vile bikini!

When our friends in FRAMING HANLEY sent us their cover of "Lollipop", we knew exactly the direction we needed to go in...


CLICK THE PIC TO WATCH GISELE, JESSE JO, SILVIA and DAHLIA from FOUNDRY CAMS LICK THEIR LOLLIPOPS

After you get done with that post-work hump-a-thon with your wife's best friend, you should really chec out the MEDIA SECTION, where you'll find:

Renata Daninsky Peels Off Her Bikini Poolside
Caught on CCTV: Car Smashes Through Wichita City Hall
PLAYBOY Coed of the Month - Lindsey Alvarez Displays her 34D's
Caught on CCTV: Robbers attack man in motorized wheelchair
FOUNDRY CAMS: Gisele Gets Rid of Her Long Black Gloves...and Bra
Smoker sets off Sprinkler and Floods Subway Store
Brooke Haven Blows a Glass Dildo
KISS performs with Adam Lambert on American Idol Finale

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