HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

The Ass Cam, Lemmy is a Cyborg, Kelsey Grammer is a dirty old man, Yet ANOTHER Jurassic Park Game, THOR is Hammer-smashingly Awesome, Emma is heavily Tattooed

What's a great way to stay warm this winter? Umm, go inside and light the couch on fire? OK, cool.

While you're doing that, surf the web and find a neglected woman to fool around with...after you're done putting out the couch, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

A few young ladies in Los Angeles decided they needed a little MORE attention paid to them.

So they strapped a camera to their asses and recorded all the people who gave it a stare. Bravo. Daddy never held you, did he?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


There's something seriously creepy about watching Kelsey Grammer suck face (Drunken Stepfather)



Hella has an atomic wedgie going. Thank God she loses her undies quickly. Bless you, child. (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Becky Payne is the kind of gal you just want to throw in a pool because she's so smoking hot (z0d)

Sara Clayton has her undies yanked up to her chin. That can't be good for her circulation (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

This confirms it. Lemmy Kilmister is a cyborg. No one can consume that much Jack Daniels and French Fries and still keep breathing:

Quick, let's lure Lemmy into a hydraulic press and smoosh him before he kills Sarah Connor... or something.

From Lemmy, we take a sharp left over to the Lost World... kinda:

It's 2011, and there's another JURASSIC PARK video game being released?

Looks great? A decade too late? You decide. There's something to be said for dinosaurs, though.

...and from game trailers to movie trailers...

We're trying to think of something shitty and sarcastic to say about Kenneth Brannagh's THOR movie...

But how can you say something mean about a movie that has HAMMER-SMASHED FACE?? Exactly. You can't. Move along, now.

...OK, that's enough of that. Bring on the GIRLS!

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

FOUNDRY CAMS: Danni Gee and MIKE 13 Gonna Knock You Out

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


Thanks again to MIKE 13 for the tunes.

Ember Reigns Rocks Out with Foundry "What Kills Me"

Busty Beautiful uninhibited Ember Reigns, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own hardcore site, took a shine to our latest release, FOUNDRY: Retooled (feat. Rich DeCicco) and the song "What Kills Me" (click the link to download the song now). So much so, that she rolled around naked while singing the song. Hot Girl. Hot song. What else could you ask for (except for her phone number, which we're not giving you)
Thanks to Jon for the editing as always



Click on Ember's outstanding body... if you have regained your motor functions back, and download some FOUNDRY.
When you can see straight again, Go visit Ember Reigns at her official site
...you can also Chat with LIVE on cam

Like we mentioned. No phone number... but we'll give you access to see her totally nekkid... which is even better, because you get exactly what you want. Amiright? Amiright?

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


You can pick up Retooled by FOUNDRY at the following online music outlets:
iTunes:


Amazon

Napster

It's everywhere. It's like AIDS. Without the weight loss and death.

YOu can also check out Ember Reigns in these fantastical videos:

Ember Reigns is a Sexy Little Sister
Ember Reigns Licks Her Lollipop
'Next Time Around' with Ember Reigns
Ember Reigns Viorotica, and Gisele Topless Montage
Ember Reigns teases in a tiny bikini


OK, that's all you get for now. Beat it. Scram. Vamos!

don't you have music to purchase?

Beach MILF, Dee Snider Forgets Lyrics, ALTER BRIDGE, HINDER and PRETTY MAIDS live and on FOUNDRY CAMS, Rachel Starr and Carmella Bing despise tight clothing

You see this? this is the body of a lonely married lady hanging out at beach getting hit on by a guy that SHOULD be you.

Her husband is back home nailing his secretary so it's your turn to make a move on this fine piece of mommy muff

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

Either Dee Snider has way too much on his plate or he's got Alzheimer's...because the TWISTED SISTER frontman is starting to forget the words, maaaaan.

"You can't stop Rock and ---" aww, crap. Forgot the words.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


WOW! Who knew SHE had boobs like these? (Drunken Stepfather)

Apparently everyone EXCEPT us knew she liked getting naked on film... You'll still never guess.

Featured Model: Jacqueline Suzanne (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Oh Peach, you're jut as sweet as a ... oh you get the idea (FreakShow Planet)

Isis Taylor is in a tight pink bikini...anyone wanna guess for how long? (z0d)

Kayden Kross is about to do something very naughty with a very LUCKY candy cane (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

CREED minus Scott Stapp equals ALTER BRIDGE and EVERY TIME I DIE?

The singer is Myles Kennedy, who just happens to be singing in SLASH's solo band and... so he's kind of, well, you know... talented.

Our friends in HINDER have have a new album out TODAY called All American Nightmare, and this is them playing the title track in York, PA:

No. Nobody slipped on a banana peel or caught on fire. It's just a good tune, that's all. OK, you go now.

OOh! Almost forgot! Speaking of HINDER, they gave us music for:
this Foundry Cams video:

and
THIS FOUNDRY CAMS video with the twins

Speaking of bands that have given us songs for FOUNDRY CAMS videos, check out Danish rock band PRETTY MAIDS doing what they do best... in Denmark, of course:

Those guys gave us music for Breanna's FOUNDRY CAMS video.

And now we yank the steering wheel to the left all the way toward...the boobies! Yaaaaay Boobies! (yeah, I know. We're a bunch of children)

Oh...Sweet...God... RACHEL STARR cloned herself!

Oh wait, sorry. That's a mirror. We know because we saw the full-length scene in CURVY GIRLS 5 (click to watch it on Demand). We like to do our homework.

You've seen her before, but might not know tha this is Carmella Bing and she's got on a very very tight dress:

She gives you a little sample here, but The full madness is in CURVY GIRLS 4 ... and yes, once we get into a series, we beat it to death.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Get your Holiday Body Back, Uncle Ted Nugent Selling Crazy, Gisele, FOUNDRY CAMS and FOUNDRY - together at last, Joe Satriani is God, Lemmy is God, Mike Portnoy is Good, Lana and Dawson are very topless

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

The holiday season is just around the corner, and you can either look like this:


...Or you could get a little help from someone who knows what she's doing, and look like THIS:

Choose wisely, Chesterfield.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Old 'Uncle' TED NUGENT would seem a lot more sensible if he didn't sound so F-ing Crazy all the time:

Here's Nugent, kicking back on his porch, selling crazy to the Michigan news. Look at that face.

When he's not being nuts, he actually makes really great music... see?



Kim Kardashian is selling... toilet paper?? (Drunken Stepfather)

A job is a job, right Kim? Atta girl! Just like the 'blow' job you gave Ray J in that tape of yours a while back...just sayin'

Featured Model: Holly Lynn (Bullz-Eye)

Sunny Lane has a shiny landing strip...but not big enough for a plane. (FreakShow Planet)

Anita Dark and another clear case of "Shouldn't have even bothered to wear a bikini" (z0d)

Sophie Dee's Boobs make us want to breast-feed zoo animals. By 'zoo animals' we mean 'us' (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

His name is JOE SATRIANI ...and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

This is his new video for "Light Years away, off of his new CD Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

If you ever wanted to stare at a drummer's armpits for six minutes, now's your chance:


Drummer Mike Portnoy, who used to be in DREAM THEATER, but is currently touring with AVENGED SEVENFOLD, has a camera set up in front of his drum kit. Now you can drool over his sweaty armpits during every show.

God's greatest creation is probably women with big boobs. His SECOND greatest creation would have to be Lemmy Kilmister from MOTORHEAD:


We say this because two guys felt compelled enough about him to make an entire documentary about the man... and that link above is for the second teaser.

From Lemmy, we segue into Lickable Ladies... Nice transition, right?

Everyone...say hello to Ultra-busty Romanian Lana Ivans:

OK, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now because there's a LOT more of Lana to see... click it, dummy.

Don't you just hate when your workout pants are too tight? so does Dawson Miller:

She's out of those constricting pants faster than you can shout "Get Naked or I'll Kill Your whole family!" ... not that you WOULD... just sayin'

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.