Tell your mom to keep posting pics of herself like this in those online personals... we'd like to take her out for a malted.
THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your dumpster-sized ass. Happy birthday, here's a treadmill)
oh whatever, you know how it goes. Thuds.
THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:
(Unlike your waist size, which seems to increase weekly)
... and he seems to speakoo better Engrish. Yeah, we know. Asian? We didn't know how to type out mock-Austrian.
Is it about aliens? Is it about trains? Is it about Steven Spielberg and JJ Abrams wanking each other off? Someone fill us in, dammit!
C'mon... find a flaw! Find a FLAW! Smell it! Smell it! wait, we got off track there for a sec. (Drunken Stepfather)
aaaand while you're smelling it (wait, sorry)...enjoy Jenny McCarthy sans-clothing... you know you want to (Mr. Skin)
Cody Milo is the only person with the name 'Milo' we want to see naked (FreakShow Planet)
DVD Review: The Fighter (Bullz Eye)
Brittany Barbour is Barely dressed...and is just the way we likes 'er (z0d)
Clara and Laetitia... smell the foot! Smell the foot!!! (Daily Niner)
I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your left tit is obnoxiously larger than your right one Why dontcha get that fixed, honey?)
C'mon! Who DOESN'T remember "All Lips N Hips" by ELECTRIC BOYS in your local strip club? Oh please, we cannot be the only ones.
We dont' care what you say, so ... walk in an orderly fashion toward the door..oooor. Indidentally, Blitz needs a sandwich
Regardles... he might want to come up with some more songs, you know?
Who wants to see a few videos from the O&A show that we never ever ever put online? Yeah, we thought so. OK, here's some nature footage.
Heh. Gotcha.
...and gives lap-dances in-studio. 'Nuff said. There's LOTS more where that came from, Charlie.
This is Bree and Kayden Kross using a sex toy we got from Adam & Eve...for 50% off... damn!.
Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...
Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)
...and that, friends... is the way to impress a gal on a first dateway to make a greek salad.
We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did
FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing
Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates
be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep
We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.
We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.
We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.
FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.
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