Your mom likes singles, Escalator Mishap, Britney Spears in V Magazine, CHIMAIRA's Charlie Sheen tribute, MOTORHEAD on Jimmy Fallon, SLASH in Australia

We don't want to alarm you, but we caught your mom at her night job the other evening:

We're responsible for at least ten of the singles she brought home in her butt and the stain she brought home on her shirt... we're gentlemanly when it comes to mothers.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

All you need is Benny Hill music and this video would be PERFECT!

Going Down - Watch your step!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


Britney Spears is on the cover of V Magazine (Drunken Stepfather)

and the "V" is for "Vapid"... see, cuz it's Britney Spears... and umm, you get it.


Raisa has a terrible name and a great body. This will set off a theme in today's update (FreakShow Planet)

11 Most Addictive Breakfast Cereals (Bullz Eye)

Chantelle Fontaine has a name like a tranny...she's suspect until we see a birth certificate (z0d)

Victoria Rae Black is pasty and white. She really should consider a name change to fit her pasty complexion (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

The whole world has Charlie Sheen fever and the guys in CHIMAIRA are no exception:

Presenting a death metal cover of The TROGGS "Wild Thing" in honor of Charlie Sheen's role in MAJOR LEAGUE.

Lemmy and MOTORHEAD were showing off their face bumps in New York City on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Singing "Get Back In Line"... and shaking like a leaf. Just watch Lemmy's right arm.

SLASH and Andrew Stockdale from WOLFMOTHER impressed the hell out of everyone in Brisbane:

OK, maybe not EVERYONE. A few people stayed home to drink oil cans of Foster's. And that's how you make a sweeping generalization.

Now, before you get too cultured, here's some BOOBS, and we don't mean your parents... ZING!:

Anyone else think Tommie Jo is a lousy name?

Us too. Booooo, Tommie Jo. Your name sucks.

Speaking of awful names, Cali Lakai probably got picked on a lot when she was a kid.

hence the need to take her clothes off for attention. Of course we're guessing. We have no concrete information.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

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be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

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