Mike Starr's final phone call, SOURCE CODE Trailer, Lindsay's boob in court, SULLY ERNA loses his shoes, Melissa Midwest and Nikki Sexx get Sexy

You might want to check on your mom. Someone left her like this in a motel room:

We told her posting those ads online could be risky... did she listen? Nooooooo.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your contribution to society...nothing)

Mike Starr, formerly of ALICE IN CHAINS... left the following voicemail mere hours before his death:

Nice to know it was for something constructive, and not the cure for AIDS, or something a little more than a marijuana jones.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(You know, unlike your face, breath, hairline, and general disposition)

The trailer for SOURCE CODE feels like Groundhog Day with a lot of special effects:

Oh lookee. Jake Gyllenhaal is on fire. We suspect that's how a lot of people want to see him.

Lindsay Lohan's left bosom is on its way to court today!

well, along with the rest of her, that is. (Drunken Stepfather)

of course, here's Lindsay Lohan's boob NOT in court and NOT covered-up (Mr. Skin)

Martina Warren is the only person with the name 'Warren' we wouldn't mind gawking at (FreakShow Planet)

Getting to know the 2011 Nissan Rogue (Bullz Eye)

Kylie and Talia are... umm... are... Wow. train of thought. Derailed. (z0d)

Georgia and Sunny might not know physics, but they will make your day a little more peachy and brighter. Get it? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you have no ambition other than sucking off the tits of those wealthier than you)

Sully Erna lost his shoes (and possibly his glasses) before this tribute to METALLICA:

Sol Rosenberg would be proud. Don't get the reference? Go get a Jerky Boys CD. You'll understand.

OK, to hell with culture. Bring on the women:

Nikki Sexx is probably best known for her humanitarian work..

Umm, right. She's known for being in a movie called Big Wet Asses #18...Humanitarian work... see, that's us makin' a funny.

Anyone else think Melissa Midwest ought to put some clothes on?

no? Neither do we. Glad we all agree on something.

Everyone pay attention to Sexy Venera for a second or two:

Can't do it for just a few seconds, can you? Yes, friends...that is the power of the boobs... which she can enjoy for a few more years until they sag and hit the floor.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way to impress a gal on a first date

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

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We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

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FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Your mom likes singles, Escalator Mishap, Britney Spears in V Magazine, CHIMAIRA's Charlie Sheen tribute, MOTORHEAD on Jimmy Fallon, SLASH in Australia

We don't want to alarm you, but we caught your mom at her night job the other evening:

We're responsible for at least ten of the singles she brought home in her butt and the stain she brought home on her shirt... we're gentlemanly when it comes to mothers.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

All you need is Benny Hill music and this video would be PERFECT!

Going Down - Watch your step!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


Britney Spears is on the cover of V Magazine (Drunken Stepfather)

and the "V" is for "Vapid"... see, cuz it's Britney Spears... and umm, you get it.


Raisa has a terrible name and a great body. This will set off a theme in today's update (FreakShow Planet)

11 Most Addictive Breakfast Cereals (Bullz Eye)

Chantelle Fontaine has a name like a tranny...she's suspect until we see a birth certificate (z0d)

Victoria Rae Black is pasty and white. She really should consider a name change to fit her pasty complexion (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

The whole world has Charlie Sheen fever and the guys in CHIMAIRA are no exception:

Presenting a death metal cover of The TROGGS "Wild Thing" in honor of Charlie Sheen's role in MAJOR LEAGUE.

Lemmy and MOTORHEAD were showing off their face bumps in New York City on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Singing "Get Back In Line"... and shaking like a leaf. Just watch Lemmy's right arm.

SLASH and Andrew Stockdale from WOLFMOTHER impressed the hell out of everyone in Brisbane:

OK, maybe not EVERYONE. A few people stayed home to drink oil cans of Foster's. And that's how you make a sweeping generalization.

Now, before you get too cultured, here's some BOOBS, and we don't mean your parents... ZING!:

Anyone else think Tommie Jo is a lousy name?

Us too. Booooo, Tommie Jo. Your name sucks.

Speaking of awful names, Cali Lakai probably got picked on a lot when she was a kid.

hence the need to take her clothes off for attention. Of course we're guessing. We have no concrete information.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Birthday cake surprise, Custom Chopper Crash, Lots of Link Love, Eddie Van Halen on 'Two and a Half Men', Sweet Krissy, Shay Laren, and Ashley's Candy

THAT's TERRIBLE:

The great news is you have a brand new chopper to show off in front of your friends:

Don't you wish you learned how to ride it? Yeah, that would have helped.

How many times are we going to have to see a birthday party ruined by spray string??

At least one more time, apparently. Happy birthday, stupid.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:
(But your condescending mouth is, so shut up before someone nails your lips shut)

Lindsay Lohan Camel Toe Close-Up (Drunken Stepfather)... and here's Lindsay Lohan taking her clothes off on camera!

Charmagne Star Swinging from Chains naked...kind of (Daily Niner)

Glamor Girl: Reagen (Bullz-Eye)

Erin Nicole has Nice Nubs (z0d)

5 Crappy Musicians Whose Music Will Get You Laid (FunnyCrave)

Smoking Hot Redhead Ashley Robbins in a Blue Dress... but not for long (Freakshow Planet)

aMUSEd! Muse Punks an Italian TV Show (Dave and Thomas)

Signs you are trick-or-treating at a swinger's house (Illuminati)

Drunk Women Fighting at a Detroit Lions Game (World of Isaac)

All The Single Babies (College Humor)

The Definitive List of the 60 Hottest Women In Sports Movies (Bleacher Report)

15 Awesome Office Chairs (Super Tremendous)

I'M SORRY:
(Actually, we're not sorry. You suck at life, and you'll die lonely and broke)

Beautiful, busty adult starlet Shay Laren is just a regular girl:

a regular gal who enjoys taking her clothes off all the time...and masturbating on camera.

Speaking of girls who get naked on camera, Ashley from Ashley's Candy is wearing tiny pink panties...

...and that's all she's wearing.

Mister EDDIE VAN HALEN appeared on the CBS series Two and a Half Men last night with his signature EVH Wolfgang Guitar:

WORST cameo EVER? Perhaps.

Aaand we go back to boobies with Sweet Krissy who is wiggling around on webcam:

Why even bother with clothes?

Now let's all lust after the ladies of FOUNDRY CAMS, like Maiya, Sweet Victoria, Kyra, and a slew of others grinding their asses in a Grinhouse-style tribute to our buds in SCUM OF THE EARTH:

CLICK ON MAIYA, DAMN YOU!

(and now to recap... for the people with the attention span of sparrows. US included.)

Hold off on sleeping with your friend's wife and lookee what we added to the MEDIA SECTION:

ALICE IN CHAINS: 'Man In The Box' LIVE in Detroit
PLAYBOY's Jillian Beyor Strips In Front of A Mirror
1959 Chevrolet Bel Air Vs. 2009 Crash Test
Shyla Styles Busts Out of Her Black Bra
CHICKENFOOT: 'Down The Drain' LIVE in Houston
Bianca Beauchamp Peels off Her Purple Panties

 

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