Your mom has a crispy butt, SAMMY HAGAR alien bit, DUKE NUKEM FOREVER - Uncensored, X-MEN: FIRST CLASS, Hasselhof's new Girlfriend, ALICE COOPER at Golden Gods, New music from the POODLES and JOURNEY

Remember, kids... you follow us and we'll follow you!
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the cockfights we have going on in the basement
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom's ass is burning on the passenger seat of that car...that doesn't belong to your dad

Apparently she's none too worried about who sees photos like this because she's posting them in online personal ads.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the way you pretend your hair isn't falling out in clumps on an hourly basis)

This bit that SAMMY HAGAR did on Jimmy Kimmel LIVE wasn't all THAT bad:

It wasn't all that GOOD either.

Anything to sell some books, right, Sammy?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, which would look better if you combed your eyebrows up over your head)

The trailer for DUKE NUKEM FOREVER is full of blood, guts...and school girl strippers kissing:

When oh when will this game be available?!?!

Oh. Mid-June. That's not so bad. Heh. We worry too much.

The second international trailer for X-MEN: FIRST CLASS has a handful more of 'blink and you'll miss them' cool moments in it:

The editors must add in the new footage as they get it and then release new trailers.. either that, or their lazy as shit.

Mutants. Make a man mean...usually. Or they make him chubby, depending on how much time he spends on the couch watching these.

David Hasselhoff got his self a cute-ass girlfriend named Hayley Roberts:

For once, it would be nice to be a famous drunk... or just famous.

Nikki Kane and Renee Perez lose their lingerie and don't bother looking for it (FreakShow Planet)

Cisco Kills the Flip Video: What it means to the Consumer Market (Bullz-Eye)

Tito Ortiz on Life with Jenna Jameson (MadeMan)

Amy Reid is wearing her tube top a little, umm...low (z0d)

Cody Love is the dirtiest, most greatest maid of all time (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you're going to muddle through life with the same mediocrity you attack every other task with)

Sorry you missed ALICE COOPER and his original band at the REVOLVER GOLDEN GODS Awards:

Some of those guys look like they could lay off the cheeseburgers... yeah, like who are we kidding? Look who's talking.

All the ALICE COOPER you could ever want to get yer stinkin' mitts on, Chester.

Want to still look cool with tight leather pants and bleached hair? Move to Sweden. Join a band:

Otherwise you just look silly. Speaking of Silly, these guys are called THE POODLES

Performocracy? Yup. Definitely Swedish...Mmmm...swedish fish.

The guys in JOURNEY have a Filipino singer (yeah, we know. Enough already) and a new tour:

They're going to be touring with STYX and FOREIGNER... sponsored by Geritol and Icy Hot.

Ooh, that cool beetle thing-a-ma-jig is back Someone in that band digs beetles, or is running out of ideas.

How much for ze little girlz, eh?

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from one of our newer gals:
Lita Lenee, one of our newer young ladies in the FOUNDRY CAMS flock, sent in an amazing videos with a slightly (OK, VERY) revised old-school FoundryMusic T-shirt. Nikki Sixx and our friends at SIXX A.M. sent in "Lies of the Beautiful People" from their new album "This Is Gonna Hurt". Put 'em together and you have one hell of a great video.
Thanks to Jon for the editing as usual.



CLICK THE PIC. WATCH THE VIDEO. DIG THE MUSIC.

When you're all done, if you have any fluids left in that body of yours, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with the lovely Lita Lenee LIVE on cam!

Thanks again to SIXX A.M. for sending in "Lies of the Beautiful People" from their upcoming album "This Is Gonna Hurt".

...and that, friends... is the way to make gazpacho with dead hookers.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Your mom likes singles, Escalator Mishap, Britney Spears in V Magazine, CHIMAIRA's Charlie Sheen tribute, MOTORHEAD on Jimmy Fallon, SLASH in Australia

We don't want to alarm you, but we caught your mom at her night job the other evening:

We're responsible for at least ten of the singles she brought home in her butt and the stain she brought home on her shirt... we're gentlemanly when it comes to mothers.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

All you need is Benny Hill music and this video would be PERFECT!

Going Down - Watch your step!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


Britney Spears is on the cover of V Magazine (Drunken Stepfather)

and the "V" is for "Vapid"... see, cuz it's Britney Spears... and umm, you get it.


Raisa has a terrible name and a great body. This will set off a theme in today's update (FreakShow Planet)

11 Most Addictive Breakfast Cereals (Bullz Eye)

Chantelle Fontaine has a name like a tranny...she's suspect until we see a birth certificate (z0d)

Victoria Rae Black is pasty and white. She really should consider a name change to fit her pasty complexion (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

The whole world has Charlie Sheen fever and the guys in CHIMAIRA are no exception:

Presenting a death metal cover of The TROGGS "Wild Thing" in honor of Charlie Sheen's role in MAJOR LEAGUE.

Lemmy and MOTORHEAD were showing off their face bumps in New York City on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Singing "Get Back In Line"... and shaking like a leaf. Just watch Lemmy's right arm.

SLASH and Andrew Stockdale from WOLFMOTHER impressed the hell out of everyone in Brisbane:

OK, maybe not EVERYONE. A few people stayed home to drink oil cans of Foster's. And that's how you make a sweeping generalization.

Now, before you get too cultured, here's some BOOBS, and we don't mean your parents... ZING!:

Anyone else think Tommie Jo is a lousy name?

Us too. Booooo, Tommie Jo. Your name sucks.

Speaking of awful names, Cali Lakai probably got picked on a lot when she was a kid.

hence the need to take her clothes off for attention. Of course we're guessing. We have no concrete information.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MILF Cyborg - Maybe, Gun-shy Robbers, ADLER's APPETITE in SPAIN, DEICIDE in Rochester, STONE SOUR on Kimmel, Candy Manson wrapped in Gold, Carmen wrapped in Very little

Joey's mom is in the kitchen with giant tubs of whey protein. Crap. Joey's mom is a Cyborg

Oh hell, there's a first time for everything. hooking up with a cyborg could be a lot of fun...regardless of whether it's your friend's mom.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Check out the world's most gun-shy robbers...

These geniuses held up a jewelry store in England. The shop owner had NO weaponry of any kind. He still chased them away... *cough* PUSSIES *cough*

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)


Could someone tell Bam Margera that if he's going to cheat, maybe he shouldn't be taking PICTURES of it (Drunken Stepfather)



Anju... what a weird name. What a not-so-weird body (FreakShow Planet)

Ten Movies the 2011 Academy Award Nominees Don't Want You to See (Bullz-Eye)

Bobbi Billard has boobs you just want to go to bed on (z0d)

Sofia Webber will have you so so so so so so...what were we saying? Dayum. (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

DEICIDE could be the hardest-to-understand band playing today:

Of course, that's a sweeping generalization based on one video of the low-end, gutteral howling done by the singer/bassist with the upside-down cross burned in his head. WOW, don't sound too judgemental now, sheesh..

ADLER's APPETITE continues to capitalize on the old GUNS N' ROSES catalog with gigs like this one in Spain:

Eh, if SLASH can do it, so can Steven Adler... and comparing Adler to Slash is realistic... yeah, sure..

...and we can't think of anything smarmy or sarcastic to say about STONE SOUR playing on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE:

Only that if CORY TAYLOR gets the VELVET REVOLVER gig, that's THREE bands that sucker is going to be in, and we'll be counting down until his massive corinary.

From Guitars... we spin the wheel of awesome over to... you guessed it! Girls!

Candy Manson is packed into a gold leotard just about as tight as humanly possible... and that, folks is no small feat:

You ever wonder how a gal with 32DDD bosoms sleeps at night? Does she have to dig out a trench in her mattress? One can only wonder.

Once again, we must ogle the lovely...and busty...Carmen from Cam With Carmen...who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos:

There's nothing like strategically-placed heart-shaped decals to make the imagination run wild, thankyouverymuch.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Happy Hump Day, Beaten with Beer Kegs, Dave Mustaine is a Lady? IRON MAIDEN Bossa Nova Style, MOTORHEAD Broadway Style, Mary Carey, Brittany Beth

Hey-O! It's hump day, boys and girls. If we told you once, we've told you a thousand times:

This is a day that you should devote to humping...preferably with someone you just met online. Sure, that's not in the least bit creepy.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

Want to know when you've REALLY pissed someone off?

you get beaten with Beer Kegs, fool.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


You'll never guess whose ass this is in a black bikini. Hell, WE rule at this game and we didn't guess right (Drunken Stepfather)



Say "Hi" to Anju. Dumb name. Not so dumb body (FreakShow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Cally Stanphill... 'Next Door' my ass. WHO does this girl live 'Next door' to and why hasn't she been tackled by him/her? (Bullz-Eye)

Angelina Valentine is looking more like an alien with every surgical procedure. Maybe that's what she's going for. (z0d)

Daisy and Bridgette are awfully friendly...and we mean "awfully" in the best sense of the word. Like 'Its awfully unfortunate we can't be the meat in a Daisy/Bridgette sandwich (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

No one mistakes MEGADETH frontman Dave Mustaine for a pretty lady. NO ONE!!!

Well, except for maybe Guillermo from Jimmy Kimmel Live. Dave is not happy. Dave needs to lighten up.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your listening pleasure (or displeasure, depending on your musical tastes)...

We give you IRON MAIDEN. Bossa Nova style. 'nuff said. Andy has SO MUCH free time. Who's Andy? Click the pic. You'll understand.

Let's tinker with some MOTORHEAD and see what happens:

It's a BROADWAY version of "Ace Of Spades"...and surprisingly, it fits. Andy, go outside. There's a whole world that's passing you by, man. Again, click the pic. You'll get it.

Netherlands-based and female-fronted, WITHIN TEMPTATION are the best dutch thing to hit the scene since wooden shoes:

...and let's face it. Wooden shoes suck. They're awkward and your feet get splinters. Who needs 'em?

From bands, we hop, skip, and jump on over to ... YOU GUESSED IT! Boobs!

This is Hayley Cummings and she must have very dry skin, because she's COVERING herself in oil:

Then again, this IS a scene from BIG WET BOOBS 10... because of course, there were so many unanswered questions in #9

Britney Beth is a 19 year-old garbage mouth:

Not that we're objecting, of course. we LOVE filthbags...especially ones that talk dirty.

Our buddy our pal MARY CAREY is sporting a tiny rainbow bikini and having herself a dip in the Jacuzzi tub:

We're friendly with Mary, but not enough to get into that hot tub that most certainly looks like egg drop soup. Don't act like you don't know what we mean. You're not so innocent, Chesterfield.

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)

...and that, as they say is our way of saying "We love you"... now scram!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Scooter smacked by car, New & Old Victoria Silvstedt, Mystery Nips, Five Finger Death Punch on Kimmel, Zakk Wylde Wank-tastic Gutiar Playing, Ashlynn Brooke, Robin Andersen

Why did the ancient Egyptians call Wednesday "Hump Day"? probably because of all the mid-day sex the Pharaohs were having... Nice, right? A Pharaoh reference...

It's a centuries-old tradition, so take that horny co-worker of yours to a local motel and soil the sheets. more than they already HAVE been, we mean.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not nearly as bad as your self-esteem. How DO you make it through the day without slitting your wrists?)

Thanks to the wonder of the dashboard-mounted camera, we get to see another dummy on a scooter get wrecked:

Why would you pull in front of a car THEN hit the brakes? You're gonna need a new scooter, mister.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Victoria Silvstedt in a Bikini (WWTDD)

You know, Victoria was the 1997 Playmate of the Year


Saaaay, who's got the rock hard nips going on? (Drunken Stepfather)

You wouldn't believe it if we told you So we're just gonna give you a hint: Big Forehead, Wednesday Addams, Black Snake M---. Wait. too much again, right?

“True Blood” Gets Naked And Bloody For Rolling Stone (The Frisky)

Erika Mayshawn is just the right amount of cream for our coffee...and probably yours too (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Stephanie Farris (Bullz-Eye)

XBOX Girls Get Revenge (College Humor)

Lindsey Lohan in Maxim September 2010 vs. Lindsey Lohan in Maxim September 2007 (BroBible)

ProStars: The Unseen Episodes (Sports Pickle)

The Five-Step Guide to Making Your Room Pop (The Campus Socialite)

Lingerie Football League Star Goes “Full Nerd” (Gunaxin)

Madison Scott Couldn't wait to get out of that bulky pink sun dress (Dailyniner)

Pre Season Football, The 1st Cousin of Non Alcoholic Beer (New York Pudding)

Jessica Hall is Toned, Tan, and ... um, wait.. what were we saying? (z0d)

8 of the Dirtiest Sexual Innuendos in Children's Cartoons (Asylum)

How Pam Anderson's lady parts are similar to M. Night Shyamalan (FilmDrunk)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry the only women that you can pick up are hungover stragglers from last night's pool party)

Those cheerful guys in FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH were on Jimmy Kimmel Live playing their cover of "Bad Company"

For a cover song, it's not too shabby.... Download some FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH now, dammit.

Zakk Wylde and BLACK LABEL SOCIETY played The Roxy in Hollywood and of cousrse...

... Zakk did the obligatory masturbatory guitar solo midway through the song, "Fire It Up".

and from metal, we segue into mammaries...

Lovely little Ashlynn Brooke is an Oklahoma-born 'good egg':

Which is just another way of saying she has NO problem flinging her lace lingerie to the floor.

Shapely young Playboy hottie Robin Andersen has no need for pesky clothing:

After a boring-as-watching-grass-grow interview Robin finally gives us something to look at.

Speaking of PLABOY, You remember Victoria Silvstedt, don't you? You SHOULD. We just linked to her a few minutes ago. Sheesh.:

Victoria was Playboy's 1997 Playmate of the Year...and that, friends...is nothing to fling boogers at. She's STILL amazing looking, even at 35.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.