Birthday fun, Split Tongue Gal, DEAD ISLAND trailer, Latest TRANSFORMERS trailer, Jim Breuer and Sebastian Bach Screaming, SLASH and Brad Whitford Jamming, Lisa Ann Groping

Looking for a fun way to spend a special day, like ...uh, say... a birthday?

Get a birthday cake with a candle and blow it out by yourself in the bathroom. or surf some personal ads looking for some strange woman to make the sexy-sexy with...whichever you choose. It's your day, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Truthfully, we're having a hard time deciding how this is anything other than awesome...

She's got a split tongue = She's God's gift to girlfriends everywhere. C'mon. How is she NOT?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)

The latest trailer for TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon has hit the web:

And this could be the most gloomy TRANSFORMERS flick ever. God, we hope so. That last one was kind of a stinker.

Speaking of amazing trailers, there are some folks in Hollywood who could take a lesson from this trailer for DEAD ISLAND:

The game might suck (we have NO idea; it's not even finished yet) but if the trailer is any indication... it's going to be pretty F-ing awesome.

Which Jersey Girl is as Classy as you might suspect? (Drunken Stepfather)



Madison Ivy is the kind of Poison that's just fine to get covered in (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Tammi and Melissa are awfully fine and awfully friendly... awfully (z0d)

Danni Kalifornia is Stunning in any state, not just... oh wait, that's her last name (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

SLASH and AEROSMITH's Brad Whitford spent some quality time in North Carolina the other day:

Doing an Aerosmith cover of a Rufus Thomas song... and now our heads are spinning because that was like a 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing going on there.

Jim Breuer and SEBASTIAN BACH had a little competition to see who could blow his voice out quickest:

No, not really... but we're having a hard time seeing how that wasn't the end result.

...Hey now... where's the GIRLS? Oh. Here they are

Tory Lane is about as subtle as a train wreck as she seduces this nice officer:

Then again, when did you ever hear of anything subtle in a smut video? Exactly. NEVER.

If you had a body like Lisa Ann...

You'd be feeling yourself up nonstop too. Don't even act like you wouldn't, Chesterfield.

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

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Heavy Metal MILF, Collapsing Wine, Superbowl Trailers, Lotsa OZZY, Fergie & SLASH, New FoundryCams Goodness

Lonely? Go get yourself a Heavy Metal MILF that looks like Tera Patrick

What's the point in recruiting a bunch of healthy young cheerleaders if you're not going to photograph them in their undies

We heard the other day that the kinkiest women on the planet live in West Virginia. Dare to dream, boys and girls.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your disrespectful mouth. Want the number of a good therapist, fella?)

This clip will make anyone with a wine sweet-tooth cry like a baby:

This will make old Chester read the instructions before building shelves again.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your inability to take a joke IS, so lighten up pal)

So, umm... who saw the 'Super Bowl', as it's referred to in the far east?

WOO! The Captain America trailer is online. F I N A L L Y.

Big Robots. Destroying one another.

TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon looks like a movie we'd actually pay to see. Bang. Crash. Boom.

Christina Aguilera messes up the National Anthem. Nah, no one will notice (Drunken Stepfather)


Mmm... Christina Aguilera Boobies

Mandy Dee has boobies that make you go 'Oh mama' (FreakShow Planet)

Featured Model: Sonny Frazier (Bullz-Eye)

Aimee Addison is all that and a Box o' Chicken (Dailyniner)

Julia Morse is code for 'looks really great naked'... meh, we tried (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't hang on to a relationship any longer than five minutes. Here's a gun with a toe trigger.)

and if you were watching the big sporting event, you may have seen THIS:

SLASH showed up and made the BLACK EYED PEAS almost watch-able.

You may have seen OZZY OSBOURNE and (who the F*$& is) JUSTIN BIEBER doing a commercial for BEST BUY:

We'll give them both a tussle for making fun of themselves in this one.

Speaking of OZZY OSBOURNE, we now have the full video of him chucking a bucket of water at one of his wife's co-hosts from The Talk:

Get off the stage, madam. The Prince of Darkess doesn't appreciate your girthy hips.

From aging rockers to young hotness...

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)



...and that, as they say is the whole enchilada... now go ventilate your skull, you bug.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Another Tranformers 3 Accident, Silver painted hiney, Aaron Lewis Reprimands, Sully Erna throws Microphones, Helloween asks Are You Metal? Shyla Stylez, Alanah Rae, Janessa Brazil get very friendly

Hey there! Might we interest you in some beginning-of-week debauchery? yeah, we thought so. Take a look at these frisky young things:

Who cares if they have boyfriends? No boyfriend in room = no attachments. They're all of age.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but the size of your clothing keeps increasing, and that's pretty upsetting, dontcha think?)

Bumblebee transformed into a crumpled piece of twisted metal:

They're making a new TRANSFORMERS movie... and they might just finish it if they could stop crashing cars and sending people to the Emergency Room.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Aw shit, we lied...this IS terrible:

Whose silver-covered rump is going to be in W Magazine? (Drunken Stepfather)

We could tell you but you probably already know... she's got a thing for black dudes and videotaping her sessions with them. Give up yet? Hope not.

The Insane Genius of Wesley Willis (UPROXX)

Julia crown is a Royal Piece of Ass (Freakshow Planet)

The best of the first year of Guyism (Guyism)

A Chat with Jim Breuer (Bullz-Eye)

Ann Marie Le Sante... Lots of names. One amazing body (z0d)

Ariel has dark red hair and umm... uhh...wow, what were we saying? (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you get winded walking from your car to the front door. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday)

Kids, if you're going to see STAIND singer Aaron Lewis, be sure to keep your conversations to a dull roar:

Or he'll stop playing and reprimand you just like when you were in high school.

moving on to a fellow Mass-hole, SULLY ERNA FROM GODSMACK is out on tour (get those tickets) and throwing mic stands like a loon:

Why not go see GODSMACK On tour with DROWNING POOL and FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, and ask Sully politely not throw a mic stand at your head.

The band is promoting their latest album, The Oracle:

...and of course Sully just released his solo album Avalon, which is, to put it mildly, mellow as hell:

Our German buddies in HELLOWEEN want to know "Are You Metal?":

The girls with the bear traps on their heads seem to think they are VERY metal.

Be on the lookout for the band's new album 7 Sinners


From metal, we sliiiide on over to... MELONS! cuz that's what we do...

Busty beautiful Alanah Rae and Shyla Stylez start off in the ring beating the stuffing out of one another:

But after a few minutes fighting turned into a very friendly game of 'touch my no-no spot'. We love when girls are friendly to one another.

Busty Brazilian Janessa Brazil (nice name, right?) has a friend named ... Idelsy? (yeah, we don't get it either)

They're both wrapped in tight lace lingerie, but not for long, folks! They get awfully fond of one another and we love when that happens.

Our friends in PAPA ROACH, who just released Time For Annihilation..On the Record, and On The Road gave us their song "Burn".
We had our own Nina from FOUNDRY CAMS tear up a FoundryMusic Shirt and make us a spank-tastic video:



Click on Nina's Cleavage to check out her Smokin' Hot Body...and then some.

Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Nina LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Paraglider Crash, Rosie Huntington-Whitely in Transformers 3, DOKKEN is old, KILLSWITCH ENGAGE loves DIO, Jaime Hammer is Topless, Busty Brittany is Dancing

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your shitty sense of entitlement)

Paraglider 1 + Paraglider 2 + Heavy Winds...


... = Time To go Swimming!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Rosie Huntington-Whitely Was Offered Megan Fox's Gig in 'Transformers 3' (WWTDD)

She has ZERO acting experience, and looks great naked. Bravo, mister casting director!

Whose itty-bitty implants are these? (Drunken Stepfather)

You'll never guess in a million years unless of course you saw 'Almost Famous'...then you know exactly who this is

Holy Lost! – Crossing Over with the Series Finale: “The End" (The Campus Socialite)

Sara Stone is Strapped into a Corset ...and not much else (Freakshow Planet)

MacGruber: Movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

Adele Stevens Meets the Luckiest Garden Hose EVER (Dailyniner)

More Awesome Red Dead Redemption Glitches (GammaSquad)

Men’s College Lacrosse Final Four Match-ups Set (The Campus Socialite)

Marissa Ann Shows off Her School Colors...and Her hiney (z0d)

Exclusive Interview With NCAA Football 11 Developers (GameCenter)

We Don't Need No Stinkin Buttons: Kenneth Cole Touch Screen Watch (The Bachelor Guy)

Former Kids TV Writer Teaches Us How to 'Cook to Bang' (Asylum)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to skim the pool and change the kegs in a timely fashion. Maybe next time you won't have to sleep in the garage)

Remember when DOKKEN (click to download) did "Dream Warriors" back in 1987?

The 2010 version is a little... err, A LOT... different.

Those nice boys in KILLSWITCH ENGAGE paid homage to Ronnie James Dio with their version of "Holy Diver":

...at the annnual "Rock on the Range" Festival in Ohio...

From very Metal to Very Big Boobies...

Busty Brunette Babe Jaime Hammer is topless in Tiny Lace panties...and that's just the way we like her:

And once the boobies come out, the fun's just getting started...next up - Backgammon!

Keeping on the big boobie thing Busty Brittany from Brittany's Bod is dancing in her room naked:

We'd like to be in there with her, but we're not allowed within 1000 feet... of her, that is.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.