Your Mom Pushing a Sports Car, Follow us on the Twitter, STEELHEART goes Splat, OZZY Bites Bats, PANTERA gets fat, Gianna Michaels, Asa Akira, Alexis Texas, and more!

Let's remind you of some important shit, shall we?
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we abdut...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

You might want to give your mom a call and tell her that THIS is why they invented tow trucks:

There are plenty of ditzy MILFs online just waiting for a fella to give them a lift... snd then some.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

What do you get when your singer grabs onto a lighting truss that isn't properly secured to the stage?

You get SPLAT! and a band that won't be touring for a while.

...and THAT was the last anyone heard from STEELHEART for about ten years.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

OMG and WTF?!?! Could it be ANOTHER foreign-language trailer for X-MEN: FIRST CLASS???

It SURE is, and in this one at least everyone's speaking English!

Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck...

Kristin Bell looks just lovely in a yellow bikini

Agree with us, dammit... or we'll send Charlie Sheen to your house to babble you to death.

Lux Cassidy and Michelle Maylene are awfully friendly and awfully fond of hot pants (FreakShow Planet)

"Your Highness" star Natalie Portman Slideshow (Celebrity Teaser)

Tierra Lee is All Natural and all kinds of ... wait, what were we saying (z0d)

McKenzie Miles is on the golf course, but we're willing to bet her handicap is holy hell in a handbag (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Back in 1986, MEAT LOAF... err, OZZY OSBOURNE went on British TV to explain biting the head off a bat:

"His name was Robert Paulsen"..."His name was Robert Paulsen"..."His name was Robert Paulsen"...

Robert Paulsen wrote a book? No way, dude!
...and if you ever wondered what it would be like to work for a band like PANTERA, wonder no more son...

Slugging down hot sauce, salad dressing, multiple drinks and worcestershire sauce for hundreds of dollars? WHERE DO WE SIGN? Well, nowhere now. PANTERA doesn't exactly exist anymore.
That band made some of the best home video EVER. Don't even attempt to argue. You'll lose

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What's that you say? Gianna Michaels? In a purple bikini??? Where???

Oh. Right there. Cool.
and what happens when you put Asa Akira, Alexis Texas, and Kristina Rose in a room together?

Why, you get a movie called BUTTWOMAN vs SLUTWOMAN.

See? No lying going on here, folks...

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make cookies with a cement mixer.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Another Tranformers 3 Accident, Silver painted hiney, Aaron Lewis Reprimands, Sully Erna throws Microphones, Helloween asks Are You Metal? Shyla Stylez, Alanah Rae, Janessa Brazil get very friendly

Hey there! Might we interest you in some beginning-of-week debauchery? yeah, we thought so. Take a look at these frisky young things:

Who cares if they have boyfriends? No boyfriend in room = no attachments. They're all of age.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but the size of your clothing keeps increasing, and that's pretty upsetting, dontcha think?)

Bumblebee transformed into a crumpled piece of twisted metal:

They're making a new TRANSFORMERS movie... and they might just finish it if they could stop crashing cars and sending people to the Emergency Room.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Aw shit, we lied...this IS terrible:

Whose silver-covered rump is going to be in W Magazine? (Drunken Stepfather)

We could tell you but you probably already know... she's got a thing for black dudes and videotaping her sessions with them. Give up yet? Hope not.

The Insane Genius of Wesley Willis (UPROXX)

Julia crown is a Royal Piece of Ass (Freakshow Planet)

The best of the first year of Guyism (Guyism)

A Chat with Jim Breuer (Bullz-Eye)

Ann Marie Le Sante... Lots of names. One amazing body (z0d)

Ariel has dark red hair and umm... uhh...wow, what were we saying? (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you get winded walking from your car to the front door. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday)

Kids, if you're going to see STAIND singer Aaron Lewis, be sure to keep your conversations to a dull roar:

Or he'll stop playing and reprimand you just like when you were in high school.

moving on to a fellow Mass-hole, SULLY ERNA FROM GODSMACK is out on tour (get those tickets) and throwing mic stands like a loon:

Why not go see GODSMACK On tour with DROWNING POOL and FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, and ask Sully politely not throw a mic stand at your head.

The band is promoting their latest album, The Oracle:

...and of course Sully just released his solo album Avalon, which is, to put it mildly, mellow as hell:

Our German buddies in HELLOWEEN want to know "Are You Metal?":

The girls with the bear traps on their heads seem to think they are VERY metal.

Be on the lookout for the band's new album 7 Sinners


From metal, we sliiiide on over to... MELONS! cuz that's what we do...

Busty beautiful Alanah Rae and Shyla Stylez start off in the ring beating the stuffing out of one another:

But after a few minutes fighting turned into a very friendly game of 'touch my no-no spot'. We love when girls are friendly to one another.

Busty Brazilian Janessa Brazil (nice name, right?) has a friend named ... Idelsy? (yeah, we don't get it either)

They're both wrapped in tight lace lingerie, but not for long, folks! They get awfully fond of one another and we love when that happens.

Our friends in PAPA ROACH, who just released Time For Annihilation..On the Record, and On The Road gave us their song "Burn".
We had our own Nina from FOUNDRY CAMS tear up a FoundryMusic Shirt and make us a spank-tastic video:



Click on Nina's Cleavage to check out her Smokin' Hot Body...and then some.

Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Nina LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: Hump Day Hump Advice, New Boobs On RateMyWOW, Train Rips Through Truck, Grinch steals Santa, Rob Zombie Live, Jelena Jensen, Playboy'

Happy Hump Day, boys and girls. Did you ever want to learn how to hump better?



We honestly thought we were pros. Then we saw Dr Z's new instructional video.

Then we realized how much we suck at humping.

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for SHE IS HALF MY AGE and COVER MY FACE (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of adult starlets Jessica Rox and Elis Diamond:






RateMyWOW: ELIS DIAMOND

RateMyWOW: JESSICA ROX

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Whoa. You ever see a tractor trailer come apart like that?




Train tore through that sucker like it was tissue paper.

Sheesh. Some people just can't get into the Christmas spirit:




Some San Antonio kids are going to be awfully lonely this Christmas.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(Your face, however...is killing us. Consider burning it off)




Pam Anderson is still very bang-able
(Drunken Stepfather)

perhaps she could make another SEX TAPE...like the one she did with BRET MICHAELS


Faye has nice li'l nubs, and a giant Vag (z0d)



Featured Model: Andrenia Samudio (Bullz-Eye)



Looking up Lola's lucky skirt! (Daily Niner)



Celebrity Sex Tapes Nobody Wants To See (Heavy)



Crissy Moran is More than just Sexy (FreakshowPlanet)



30 People Who Might Be Aliens (Manofest)



Three Cheers for Jordan Fish (Big League Screw)



The Ten Must-See Christmas Horror Movies (Gunaxin)



A stick figure drawing of Jesus gets second grader suspended (Guyism)



How To Be an American Politician (FunnyCrave)



Axon, Axoff - Scientists Discover How To Regrow Nerve Cells (GammaSquad)



How To Fight Bullies (Yep Yep)

I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that the only tail you'll get is attached to your dog)

Busty adult starlet Jelena Jensen has a 34F-sized chest:



How she stands upright is a mystery to us.

Busty, booty-tastic Latina Bridgitte B ejoys other women and other men for that matter:



She also enjoys the taste of a young fella. Lucky you, mister!

Our buddy ROB ZOMBIE is on tour now (click for tickets) and was at Mohegan Sun doing "Dragula":



Honestly, could anyone other than ROB ZOMBIE get away with playing Munsters video without being booed off stage?

Aaaaand back to boobies (of course), we honor PLAYBOY's Nikki Ryann, who claims to enjoy french fries



We don't believe that one bit. You don't get an ass like that eating fries.

Our fantastic FOUNDRY CAMS girls Shanelle and Cherry are getting wet and hosing down their FoundryMusic shirts. TAKING DAWN supplies the soundtrack.

The girls provide the boobies.






CLICK ON SHANELLE TO SEE HER GET WET!



(and now to recap... because our brains retain material like strainers)

Finish up making the sexy time with a sophisticated older woman, and head over to the MEDIA SECTION, and check out what we added:



The Grinch Who Stole the Inflatable Santa

Bridgette B has Got Big Boobs and Booty

ROB ZOMBIE: "Dragula" LIVE at Mohegan Sun

PLAYBOY's Nikki Ryann Gets Naked

Train Rips Through Semi Truck

Jelena Jensen in Baby Blue

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?


Zannel: FoundryMusic

Facebook: FoundryMusic

Posterous: FOUNDRY

Twitter: FoundryMusic (you can get updates to your cell phone here as well)

MySpace: FoundryMusic

NING: FoundryMusic

FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic

Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)

LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)