HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

The Ass Cam, Lemmy is a Cyborg, Kelsey Grammer is a dirty old man, Yet ANOTHER Jurassic Park Game, THOR is Hammer-smashingly Awesome, Emma is heavily Tattooed

What's a great way to stay warm this winter? Umm, go inside and light the couch on fire? OK, cool.

While you're doing that, surf the web and find a neglected woman to fool around with...after you're done putting out the couch, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

A few young ladies in Los Angeles decided they needed a little MORE attention paid to them.

So they strapped a camera to their asses and recorded all the people who gave it a stare. Bravo. Daddy never held you, did he?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


There's something seriously creepy about watching Kelsey Grammer suck face (Drunken Stepfather)



Hella has an atomic wedgie going. Thank God she loses her undies quickly. Bless you, child. (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Becky Payne is the kind of gal you just want to throw in a pool because she's so smoking hot (z0d)

Sara Clayton has her undies yanked up to her chin. That can't be good for her circulation (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

This confirms it. Lemmy Kilmister is a cyborg. No one can consume that much Jack Daniels and French Fries and still keep breathing:

Quick, let's lure Lemmy into a hydraulic press and smoosh him before he kills Sarah Connor... or something.

From Lemmy, we take a sharp left over to the Lost World... kinda:

It's 2011, and there's another JURASSIC PARK video game being released?

Looks great? A decade too late? You decide. There's something to be said for dinosaurs, though.

...and from game trailers to movie trailers...

We're trying to think of something shitty and sarcastic to say about Kenneth Brannagh's THOR movie...

But how can you say something mean about a movie that has HAMMER-SMASHED FACE?? Exactly. You can't. Move along, now.

...OK, that's enough of that. Bring on the GIRLS!

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Cheerleaders with thongs, Cops with Tasers, Ozzy with Cackling Hens, Geoff Tate with a pipe wrench, Amy Fisher with Lisa Ann, Charlie Sheen's pal Kacey Jordan

Woo! Let's all get drunk and light our farts and set the curtains on fire at a Superbowl party!

What's the point in recruiting a bunch of healthy young cheerleaders if you're not going to photograph them in their undies

Boyfriends? Shmoyfriends. We don't see any around and these girls are unattended and lonely.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your bald spot. Want the number of a good wig store?)

It's a simple equation, really:

You punch a cop = You get tasered.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your constant craving for attention IS. Weren't you hugged as a child?)


Oh boy... whose dress are we looking up today? (Drunken Stepfather)


this one shouldn't be too hard... just think 'American ____'

Laura Lion Likes her lack of Lingerie (FreakShow Planet)

Driving to Dallas with Chrysler (Bullz-Eye)

Check out the boobs and butt on Brittany Beth (Dailyniner)

Hannah Hilton has a Helluva Hot Hiney...mmm...hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your temper, attitude and disposition make you unfit to hold any other job except 'house boy')

Cackling hens at an OZZY OSBOURNE show? Great.:

That's exactly what the Prince of Darkness needs to maintain his sinister reputation.

Geoff Tate from QUEENSRYCHE is taking his turn as a crazed maniacal killer:

In a movie that is. We certainly wouldn't imply that he was REALLY bashing people over the head with wine bottles. Funny? Sure. Legal? Ehh, not so much.

So, uhh... How much for the little girlz, eh?

Amy Fisher swears she's not a lesbian...

Someone might want to tell Lisa Ann. All she heard was "Blah blah blah LESBIAN blah blah blah"...

They went and made a video called Deep Inside Amy Fisher...which is all about... oh, you know this one already:

When Kacey Jordan isn't hanging around Charlie Sheen

She's getting a massage... and getting felt up at the same time... which you could only get away with in an adult movie. Everyone else calls the authorities.

Not that we're objecting, but if Halie James insists on working out topless...

She really needs to think about the damage she's doing to her back, because... oh just shut up and watch the videos, mang... no one wants to hear your analytical shit.



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Traffic Court Skating, Chuck E Cheese Brawlin, OZZY OSBOURNE hating, DUFF McKAGAN trailer-ing, MARTY FRIEDMAN shredding, Dayna Vendetta and Sofia Saint Stripping

Oh it's a fine day for traffic court and flings of a judicial nature:

We're happy because the judge probably got laid last night... by whom, we don't know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your breath, receding hairline, and attitude in general)

Let it not be said that there isn't drama inside of a Chuck E Cheese

Hell, that's more drama than the Golden Globes and The Academy Awards combined. Stay classy, ladies.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your face makes us want to puke...)

Jenna Bentley has stupid fake tits (Drunken Stepfather)

Sabrina Marie has some huge hooters (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye's 2011 Winter TCA Press Tour (Bullz-Eye)

Jayden and Lizzie are two terribly friendly lingerie-clad lesbians (Dailyniner)

Hannah Harper has a hell of a hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you keep getting passed over for that promotion, dickbag)

OZZY OSBOURNE's new video for "Let It Die" paints the usual bleak picture of the ol' dove-decapitating madman:

Auto-tuned OZZY. Raaaaaaaawk.

DUFF McKAGAN has a new movie trailer to coincide with the release of his new LOADED album:

...New Label. New Record. New Movie. Duff's a mogul.

Have you seen the MARTY FRIEDMAN video for "BAD D.N.A"?

Well there. Now you have.

From heavy bands to heavy hooters, here we go...

Busty blond babe Dayna Vendetta is oiling up her boobs. Why???

She must be trying to force them through something with a narrow opening.

Perky 19 year-old Sofia Saint loves her couch. You know how we know?

BJecause she's getting naked. Naked on the couch. Luckiest. Couch. Ever.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now scram. Somewhere, someone is making more money than you are...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Holiday debauchery, REAL STEEL trailer, COREY TAYLOR hates XMAS, New video from ALICE IN CHAINS, ALL THAT REMAINS in Helsinki, Kelly Divine in the Tub, Naomi on a Date, Eva Evangelina on the couch

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Umm, a garbage pail to stick her friend's head in. hooking up with your wife and her friend ain't the worst way to spend the day.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like that huge thing you've been dragging behind you for the past several years... oh, that's your ass.)

TRANSFORMERS + ROCKY + Sappy Emotional Subplot + HUGH JACKMAN = REAL STEEL

Robot boxing? Mmmmmmm...wedunnoaboutthatone.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Which attention-seeking wacko has her nips taped up and a see-through shirt? Oh click to find out, dammit (Drunken Stepfather)


The Ultimate Fitness Gift Guide (The Bachelor Guy)

Heather Jo Hughes Has One Hell of a Hiney (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye.com Sports Year End Review (Bullz-Eye)

The Top 10 High-Performance Vehicles for Holiday Road Tripping (Sub5Zero)

Nikki Brooks has a body that F-ing Cooks (hey, it rhymes. Get off our backs) (z0d)

Jaime Bradford bends over the luckiest fence we have ever seen (Dailyniner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you've conditioned yourself to believe you're still human. Whoopsie.)

COREY TAYLOR from SLIPKNOT and STONE SOUR really despises Christmas:

This is the song he wrote to knock Simon Cowell off his #1 perch on the UK music charts. It didn't work.

ALICE IN CHAINS busted out their new video for "Last Of My Kind"

And from the looks of it, the band is as strong as ever. That is RARE; when bands replace a lead singer (for whatever reason), most of them don't experience the same fame as they once did.

ALL THAT REMAINS was in Helsinki playing their new single "Hold On"...The studio version and video are right here:

...makes you wonder how liberal they're being with that vocal harmonizer. Oof.

From bands, we move on to... what else? Booty!

Young adult starlet and garbage mouth Kelly Divine is proud of her big booty... as she SHOULD BE (when girls stop praising their big asses, the terrorists win):

the fun doesn't end here... the full version of the clip in all its filthiness is at ASS MASTERPIECE ... what a great name for a site.

Speaking of big booty, Naomi Russell and her amazing ass are going on a date... and we only WISH this clip was realistic:

The truth is, you'd probably need to bring a dictionary for her and a bowling ball full of cocaine for yourself to keep up with her babbling.

Romanian slut-bag Black Angelika is having some breast-to-foot love courtesy of her friend Summer in this clip:

Foot on boobs... who knew a girl could get off on that? Yes, there is a lesson in each and every update boys and girls. That was today's.

If we had a body like Eva Evangelina, we'd play with it all the time too:

Just like SHE is doing in this clip from GREAT BIG TITS... yes, that's really the name of the video.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.