Speeding Teen Takes out Highway, Someone tried to kill Paris Hilton, Rob Halford's Leather and Chains, MEGADETH in Hollywood, DROWNING POOL does PANTERA, Capri Cavalli will get you fired, PLAYBOY's Sofia Lane, Kiss Kara does homework

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not even remotely as bad as your receding hairline and breath. Here's a mint and some Rogaine)

If you're going to take out a freeway for six hours, you might as well do it Dukes of Hazzard style:

Car split into three pieces, and the kid LIVED... let's all get dashboard-cameras and see what kind of mayhem we can record while driving!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Someone tried to Kill Paris Hilton (WWTDD)

Say it ain't so! the world needs vapid blockheads who get famous after releasing homemade sex tapes. Hell, that's most of reality TV.


Someone's surgically-enhanced ass was strolling through the sand (Drunken Stepfather)

C'mon this is an easy one it's not like we haven't posted links to her sex tape a hundred times before. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

'Star Wars' Reimagined as Silent Films (MovieFone)

Giuliana Marino is one seriously spicy meatball...and she's pretty cute too (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Jessica Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Someone Should tell Jana Cova that her tiny necktie isn't nearly enough to cover her for that interview at Hardee's (z0d)

Jana and Jana are Just the Best Of Friends...who get naked a lot and lick each other (Dailyniner)

Catherine: The Weirdest Video Game You’ll Ever Play (The Campus Socialite)

Other Celebrity Stormtrooper Action Figures (Gunaxin)

Poodle Puppy Dances For Freedom (College Humor)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that most of your friends' names are plastered on the front of whiskey bottles)

In retrospect, when you look at all the leather and chains ROB HALFORD shackles himself with:

...the whole gay thing isn't really that shocking, is it?

The guys in MEGADETH are releasing Rust In Peace - LIVE, and this friends, is a little taste of "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due":

Well, OK... it's the WHOLE song. Mustaine's guitar is so pointy, it's a miracle no one in the band gets stabbed with it.

OUr amigos in DROWNING POOL paid homage to the PANTERA guys with their take on "Cowboys from Hell":

Damn, there's some cool shit going on at Ozzfest this year. We's going!

Heavy Metal always leads to...Heavy Hooters!

In any normal job situation Capri Cavalli would get everyone in the office fired for pulling this shit:

But not in Smut-land! You can see the end result of Capri's advances in the full version. It's totally realistic, man. Really.

This beautiful blond bombshell is PLAYBOY's Sofia Lane and she used to be 40 pounds heavier:

But she's not anymore, so put away the harpoon guns and gawk at her shapely hiney in the shower.

We suggest that ALL women do their homework just like Kara:

topless, feeling herself up, in front of her laptop and big-ass flat screen TV Kiss Kara is a Homework Role Model, dammit.

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

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