Wrong Way To Load A Jet Ski, Holly Madison is Fun, Naomi Campbell's Ass, IRON MAIDEN in Dallas, New METHODS OF MAYHEM, Nikki Benz and Nikki Sexx, April O'Neil in Bed

It's the weeekend, and it's time for you to find a lonely wife... she's yours for the taking:

This lonely hot wife was brought to you by the people who encourage affairs with lonely hot wives.

...and when your wife told you she was going out with the girls:

She was at a bachelorette party getting nailed by The Dancing Bear!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Kind of like your people skills. Way to interact with humanity!)

We're assuming that if there's a WRONG way to load a Jet Ski into a van...

THIS would be it. Gonna need a new Jet Ski... Might we suggest one of THESE?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Holly Madison is all Kinds of Fun (WWTDD)

aaaand of course, Holly Madison is all kinds of NAKED


Naomi Campbell's Ass Is Holding Up Well (Drunken Stepfather)

Gia Lashay is kind of exotic looking, wouldn't ya say? (Freakshow Planet)

The A-Team - Movie Review (Bullz-Eye)

11 Sad Keanu Photoshops (URLesque)

The 20 Hottest Same-Sex Kisses (Heavysssss)

Jenni Lee is in a lace-up corset and fishnets and ...*drool* (Dailyniner)

New live-action and animatronic version of The Wind in the Willows (FilmDrunk)

Cody Love doesn't like being nude...she LOVES it! (z0d)

Virtual Dating Assistant Explains the Science of Online Hook-Ups (Asylum)

9 Best Fictional Wives In TV History (EGOtv)

Oh, the Places You'll Actually Go! (CollegeHumor)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your complete lack of personality will prevent you from having any meaningful relationships)

The old British farts in IRON MAIDEN kicked off their world tour in Dallas:

Remarkably, everyone escaped without needing a hip replacement See IRON MAIDEN on tour now before they all wither and die.

Tommy Lee and METHODS OF MAYHEM have a new song called "Fight Song":

...and it's *gulp*...not that bad.

From Rock, we move to Racks

OK, so get this: Nikki Benz is getting an exam from her doctor, who just happens to be Nikki Sexx. You're going to have to suspend disbelief for a few minutes:

Of course, that's just the preliminary exam the full exam is a lot more thorough and requires a lucky boy to help

Naturally-busty Ms. April O'Neil is just waking up from a nap and needs to roll around naked for a little bit.

Those are the luckiest sheets in the world.

Holy Smokes! Another beautiful webcam model shaking her ass! Whodathunkit?

Ember Reigns, the buxom blond bombshell who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site, has given us what could be her finest performance yet:


Honestly... do you REALLY need us to tell you to click on Ember's pic? JUST DO IT!

Great song. Great hiney. When you stop hallucinating, Go check out Ember's Sexy Self LIVE - online NOW

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.