Birthday fun, Split Tongue Gal, DEAD ISLAND trailer, Latest TRANSFORMERS trailer, Jim Breuer and Sebastian Bach Screaming, SLASH and Brad Whitford Jamming, Lisa Ann Groping

Looking for a fun way to spend a special day, like ...uh, say... a birthday?

Get a birthday cake with a candle and blow it out by yourself in the bathroom. or surf some personal ads looking for some strange woman to make the sexy-sexy with...whichever you choose. It's your day, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Truthfully, we're having a hard time deciding how this is anything other than awesome...

She's got a split tongue = She's God's gift to girlfriends everywhere. C'mon. How is she NOT?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)

The latest trailer for TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon has hit the web:

And this could be the most gloomy TRANSFORMERS flick ever. God, we hope so. That last one was kind of a stinker.

Speaking of amazing trailers, there are some folks in Hollywood who could take a lesson from this trailer for DEAD ISLAND:

The game might suck (we have NO idea; it's not even finished yet) but if the trailer is any indication... it's going to be pretty F-ing awesome.

Which Jersey Girl is as Classy as you might suspect? (Drunken Stepfather)



Madison Ivy is the kind of Poison that's just fine to get covered in (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Tammi and Melissa are awfully fine and awfully friendly... awfully (z0d)

Danni Kalifornia is Stunning in any state, not just... oh wait, that's her last name (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

SLASH and AEROSMITH's Brad Whitford spent some quality time in North Carolina the other day:

Doing an Aerosmith cover of a Rufus Thomas song... and now our heads are spinning because that was like a 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing going on there.

Jim Breuer and SEBASTIAN BACH had a little competition to see who could blow his voice out quickest:

No, not really... but we're having a hard time seeing how that wasn't the end result.

...Hey now... where's the GIRLS? Oh. Here they are

Tory Lane is about as subtle as a train wreck as she seduces this nice officer:

Then again, when did you ever hear of anything subtle in a smut video? Exactly. NEVER.

If you had a body like Lisa Ann...

You'd be feeling yourself up nonstop too. Don't even act like you wouldn't, Chesterfield.

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Osprey Takes Out Tree, Megan Fox in a Bikini, Bret Michaels Drops 'Idol' Hint, New KORN video, Brand New Mary Carey, Bella Valentine

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

The V22 Osprey is great for inserting troops into rocky terrain...

...and getting rid of pesky trees in your backyard.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Megan Fox. In A Bikini (WWTDD)

and where would we be without... Megan Fox...WITHOUT a bikini!


Jaimie Hilfiger (um, who?) is wearing a bikini (Drunken Stepfather)

Sexy Celebrities And Their Ugly Significant Others: A Field Guide (UPROXX)

Anette Dawn will have you bug-eyed from dusk till ... well... you know (Freakshow Planet)

A chat with Steve Austin (Bullz-Eye)

Sarah Pipkin is having a Picnic... Oh wait, she just took off her shirt and threw it over a haystack (Dailyniner)

Top 20 Awesome Fictional Cars (Gunaxin)

How to Build your own Superhero (FunnyCrave)

Syren Sexton looks like she enjoys sex...a ton... umm, get it? (z0d)

KORN answers YOUR Questions (The Bachelor Guy)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

Our buddy our pal BRET MICHAELS dropped a none-too-subtle hint about being a new judge on American Idol:

This was in front of 1800 people at the Hard Rock Casino in Biloxi, MS. now fill your iPod with Bret Michaels...the man has medical bills, dammit!

Our pals in KORN are on tour now (Click for Tickets) and they just released a new video:

"Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" comes off the band's new disc Korn III: Remember who you Are... coming out July 13.

From rock gods to great bods...

Our busty buddy Mary Carey has a brand new site and sent us some clips to help promote it:

Blatant plug-whoring? Sure... But it's Mary Carey and she's totally hardcore so we're FINE with it

Beautiful blond babe Bella Valentine was born in Italy, raised in Poland, and resides in the U.S.:

Bella could be the most worldly piece of ass we've ever encountered.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.