Hotties on unemployment, Bret Michaels Sings Poorly, Bullet for My Valentine Re-invents the Ballad, Sara Stone, Lisa Ann, and Kelley Scarlett re-invent nudity...kinda

Holy crap. the women on the unemployment line are getting better-looking every day:

alright alright, so we grabbed a photo Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port to make our point. The point is there are a lot of able-bodied people on the unemployment line looking for torrid affairs... it's true. Really. We're serious.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your girthy chunky butt. Here's a free gym membership. Use it.)

OK, I know he's our buddy and we have made videos like this for him, but BRET MICHAELS really should have re-thought singing the National Anthem:

He should stick to singing with POISON and doing an abundance of reality shows. Dude, we love you, but we had to break your balls for this debacle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Will someone PLEASE get this skinny-as-hell celebrity superstar a sandwich??? (Drunken Stepfather)

Who could it be? Could it be someone who adopts a ton of impoverished kids and has been naked more often than not?...Wow, that was a lot more than a hint. We have to slow down.

Blast From the Past Models: Ali Sonoma (Bullz-Eye)

7 Family Members and Their Stats (Dorkly)

Who DOESN'T love a totally naked Kayden Kross? Exactly....NO ONE. (FreakShow Planet)

Erin Brittany is Tan, Toned, and Totally Shaved (z0d)

Katie Jordan is hosing off her Cooter. Must smell fishy...what? Where'd everyone go? (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that you're still blaming all of your problems on other people. Way to grow up, ya nut.)

Remember those 80's rock ballads? They always had to have a girl like Tawny Kitaen crawling on the hood of a car... or something:

The band BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE takes a different approach with their women. Stick-fighting, mostly.

So what if he's gay? He's Rob Fuckin' HALFORD, maaaaaaan.

He's got a new album, a line of T-shirts, and of course that li'l gig with JUDAS PRIEST, which doesn't suck. He's opening for OZZY OSBOURNE all over North America, too. Goddamn, that's a show we need to see.

From screaming queens to bosom dreams... hey it rhymes. Get off our back

Naturally busty adult starlet Sara Stone has her 36DD's wrapped in a tight sweater:

...and a jackass behind the camera interviewing her. Thank God it doesn't last long and She gives a lucky boy a present

Oh we got a big-boob-thing going on today! It's Superstar Lisa Ann:

She's dumping that pesky brown lingerie in lieu of something more comfy... like nothing at all... just saying...naked is better.

Continuing on with the large bosom theme, Busty British Kelley Scarlett is all by herself:

Ya know what else she does alone? Umm... gets naked and diddles herself. Hooray for diddling!

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Weird Japanese Commercial, FM TOONS: Episode 1, Kate Beckinsale in a Bikini, BLACK LABEL SOCIETY, DISTURBED, and HALFORD all LIVE, Alanah Rae, Faye Valentine, Gracie Glam are all NAKED

Woo Labor Day (for those of you in the U.S., that is) for everyone else, it's time to send your weekend companion home... and don't forget to get her cell number.

She'll go home smelling like hotel room soap and mouthwash, because you don't want anyone knowing what you did with her. Adultery. It's for adults, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as the news you're about to get, fella)

Japanese commercials have historically always been strange:

However, this clip for Fuji Kyu Highland Amusement park is the weirdest one EVER.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

..and because we can't seem to get enough of our own talented asses
It's the first original animation from the fine folks at gear-logo central...FOUNDRYTOONS... or FMTOONS for short

Meet Fuzz Buttrock and Hooks the Gorilla in Episode 1: Kitty Littered!

You can also watch it on YouTube



Kate Beckinsale in a Bikini? *Drool* (Drunken Stepfather)

Which is almost as good as Kate Beckinsale OUT of a Bikini... aaand *fall down*

The Sexy Women of Machete (FunnyCrave)

Amanda Wright has all the right parts in all the right places (Freakshow Planet)

'Movie Review: The American' (Bullz-Eye)

Ava Milano is wrapped in tight denim... but not for very long (z0d)

I Now Pronounce you Seahawk and Wife (The Pigskin Doctors)

Ashlynn Brooke is busting out of her bright blue bikini (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you got passed over for that promotion...again)

You know, a sober ZAKK WYLDE is a more gooder guitar playing ZAKK WYLDE:

Stillborn, bitches!

and over here, there's Ten Thousand Fists in Atlanta pumping along to DISTURBED's 'Ten Thousand Fists':

Get it? Ten thousand people? ten thouand fists? Well, actually, it would be Twenty thousand fists... ehh, we got nothing.

Incidentally, the new DISTURBED albbum - 'Asylum' is available NOW! We got it. We dig it. You should have it. Go. Now. Get it!

Mom? Who's that man with all the leather and chains with the high pitched voice?

It's ROB HALFORD, damn you! Now finish your oatmeal and get the ball gag out of the sock drawer.

and now we segue into... boobies! (Gee. Who saw THAT coming?)

Boob-tastic Alanah Rae needs to get laid needs to get laid (Hey, that rhymes!):

Even if she has to nail her husband's best friend while he's passed out. Yeah, you're going to have to suspend disbelief a little.

Hiney-rific young brunette Gracie Glam is showing off her goods in a pink bikini:

but the cameraman won't stop yammering. Thank GOD she looks amazing in a pink bikini... otherwise we'd be out of this one.

Fair-skinned redhead Faye Valentine rids herself of her pesky, cumbersome lingerie:

...and proceeds to show off the puffiest pair of nips you'll ever see. A definite reconsideration for you who aren't too fond of redheads.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Danny Trejo and 'MACHETE', Edward Norton and 'The Avengers', WARRANT and Some New Guy, KID ROCK and 80 thousand NJ Boneheads, Gianna Michaels, Angelina Valentine, and their oily torsos

Happy. Umm. Monday? Wipe thr crusties from your eyes, and politely tell the two married women on either side of the bed to gather up their things

Someone is bound to be looking for them, and the weekend of debauchery you just had is all done. Well, until next weekend.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

Will MACHETE propel Danny Trejo into super-stardom?

Honestly? Probably not. Will we go see it? Absolutely. Hail Danny Trejo!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Edward Norton Got Fired from 'The Avengers' (WWTDD)


Kim Kardashian's Butt isn't getting any Smaller (Drunken Stepfather)

As usual, we'll use the above photo as an excuse to promote Kim Kardashian's sex tape... You know, the one she did with Ray J...

A Guide to Disney’s Horrible Female Role Models (feat. Photo Evidence) (UPROXX)

Rene Perez is one Seriously Spicy Li'l Meatball (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)

The Incredible Bendy Bike (URLesque)

Sex Tips From Olivia Munn (Asylum)

Mary Queen. Rhymes with Dairy Queen. Her Bikini is awful. Thank God she's taking it off (Dailyniner)

Career Suicide: Ten Awful Celebrity Rants (Part I) (Campus Socialite)

Joanne has a GIANT new sex toy (z0d)

Sexy Women of the LPGA (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

Remember the hair band WARRANT? All of the original members are back, minus Jani Lane. Robet Mason is singing with them now:

Gee, who do you think the problem in that band was? C'mon... this isn't a difficult one, kids.

His name is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!

He opened up the Giants Stadium BON JOVI the other day, and attempted to explain what "Bawitaba" means to 80,000 New Jersey Meatheads. It didn't work.

From Really big bands... to really big... you guessed it! Boobs!

You've heard of Gianna Michaels (and if you haven't, then shame on you):

This is Gianna Michaels oiling up her chest in a scene from 'Big Wet Tits 4'... *Applause*

Sticking with the 'Big Wet' theme, this is our favorite new plaything, Angelina Valentine:

Who must have VERY dry skin, because in this clip from BIG WET TITS 7 ...she's lubing up her chest with more oil than it takes to lube your old man's Ford.

From establised boobs to newer boobs... or 'noobs', petite, young Ariel Rebel is dancing in her underwear... much like you do when no one is looking:

only when SHE does it full-blown bisexuality tends to break out... and when you do it... the neighbors tend to freak out.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Taiwan Freeway Rollover, Mel Gibson's Not-So-Friendly Audio, WINGER in NYC, JOE STUMP in Cincinnati, Bobbi Eden and Friend, Angelina Valentine is Frisky, Mason Moore is Oily

WooHoo! Weekend! Pants are Officially Optional! Especially if you plan on going out to a club and picking up a few ladies who may/may not be wearing any

Even if they showed up with guys, it's not your problem. It's a free world, and the ladies can go home with you if they want. The statistics on female adultery will blow your mind.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your stench after a weekend of heavy drinking)

Car blows tire, cartwheels across highway in Taiwan, and gets broadsided by the very bus it just passed:

...and the soothing music continues to play in the bus as the carnage unfolds.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Mel Gibson is sensitive... wait, no he isn't (audio link) (WWTDD)


Saaay, whose surgically-enhanced, overly-tanned clam are these panties covering up? (Drunken Stepfather)

C'mon, guess! we promise we won't give away the answer... oh wait, we just did. Oopsie

Italian TV is Good - BOOBS! (Warming Glow)

Playboy's Keylee Parker has Perky Nubs...only really big ones (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Lindsay Ann (Bullz-Eye)

Israeli Soldiers Get Busted for Dancing to Ke$ha's 'TiK ToK' on Patrol (The One) (URLesque)

Old Spice Guy on Boat Commercial (Todays Big Thing)

Zara is super-psyched about her new sex toy. It's a butt plug (Dailyniner)

Internet Sex Moves: Volume 2 (College Humor)

Sindy has a new Sex Toy, and her hands down her pants...she must have an itch (z0d)

7 Products You Should Never Buy Generic (FunnyCrave)

Twitter Shakes Things Up with California Earthquake (Campus Socialite)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that it's going to take you weeks to get your dried up puke cleaned off the living room sofa)

The guys in WINGER are still at it (laugh all you want, they still play better than you do) and here they are in New York City:

Performing "Seventeen" for a bunch of 35 year-olds.

Speaking of guys who play better than you, this is JOE STUMP. He shreds like Yngwie, teaches at Berklee, and does "Shred Clinics" like this one in Cincinnati:

...and the sad thing is he may still be living with his parents

From musicians to multi-talented mistresses

You probably have heard of Dutch adult starlet Bobbi Eden (that's what happens when you promise to give out free blow jobs):

This is a scene from BOBBI EDEN EXPOSED - which you can see on demand NOW.

2 women having a conversation in a kitchen, right? WRONG! it's Angelina Valentine and Mya Nichole - seconds before breaking out the sex toys:

This conversation is about all we can show you because the video gets very messy very quickly ...and the clean-up crew is going to need special stuff to get the bodily fluids off those granite counters.

So, you're into large-breasted tattooed girls with no inhibitions? then you should meet Mason Moore... she's about as filthy as they come/cum/whatever:

this clip is from BIG WET ASSES 17..and again, it's abuot all we can show you without the authorities showing up.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Osprey Takes Out Tree, Megan Fox in a Bikini, Bret Michaels Drops 'Idol' Hint, New KORN video, Brand New Mary Carey, Bella Valentine

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

The V22 Osprey is great for inserting troops into rocky terrain...

...and getting rid of pesky trees in your backyard.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Megan Fox. In A Bikini (WWTDD)

and where would we be without... Megan Fox...WITHOUT a bikini!


Jaimie Hilfiger (um, who?) is wearing a bikini (Drunken Stepfather)

Sexy Celebrities And Their Ugly Significant Others: A Field Guide (UPROXX)

Anette Dawn will have you bug-eyed from dusk till ... well... you know (Freakshow Planet)

A chat with Steve Austin (Bullz-Eye)

Sarah Pipkin is having a Picnic... Oh wait, she just took off her shirt and threw it over a haystack (Dailyniner)

Top 20 Awesome Fictional Cars (Gunaxin)

How to Build your own Superhero (FunnyCrave)

Syren Sexton looks like she enjoys sex...a ton... umm, get it? (z0d)

KORN answers YOUR Questions (The Bachelor Guy)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

Our buddy our pal BRET MICHAELS dropped a none-too-subtle hint about being a new judge on American Idol:

This was in front of 1800 people at the Hard Rock Casino in Biloxi, MS. now fill your iPod with Bret Michaels...the man has medical bills, dammit!

Our pals in KORN are on tour now (Click for Tickets) and they just released a new video:

"Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" comes off the band's new disc Korn III: Remember who you Are... coming out July 13.

From rock gods to great bods...

Our busty buddy Mary Carey has a brand new site and sent us some clips to help promote it:

Blatant plug-whoring? Sure... But it's Mary Carey and she's totally hardcore so we're FINE with it

Beautiful blond babe Bella Valentine was born in Italy, raised in Poland, and resides in the U.S.:

Bella could be the most worldly piece of ass we've ever encountered.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.