Get a birthday cake with a candle and blow it out by yourself in the bathroom. or surf some personal ads looking for some strange woman to make the sexy-sexy with...whichever you choose. It's your day, you know.
THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)
She's got a split tongue = She's God's gift to girlfriends everywhere. C'mon. How is she NOT?
THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:
(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)
And this could be the most gloomy TRANSFORMERS flick ever. God, we hope so. That last one was kind of a stinker.
The game might suck (we have NO idea; it's not even finished yet) but if the trailer is any indication... it's going to be pretty F-ing awesome.
Which Jersey Girl is as Classy as you might suspect? (Drunken Stepfather)
Madison Ivy is the kind of Poison that's just fine to get covered in (FreakShow Planet)
12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)
Tammi and Melissa are awfully fine and awfully friendly... awfully (z0d)
Danni Kalifornia is Stunning in any state, not just... oh wait, that's her last name (Daily Niner)
I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)
Doing an Aerosmith cover of a Rufus Thomas song... and now our heads are spinning because that was like a 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing going on there.
No, not really... but we're having a hard time seeing how that wasn't the end result.
...Hey now... where's the GIRLS? Oh. Here they are
Then again, when did you ever hear of anything subtle in a smut video? Exactly. NEVER.
You'd be feeling yourself up nonstop too. Don't even act like you wouldn't, Chesterfield.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.
Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)
...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"
We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did
FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing
Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates
be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep
We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.
We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.
We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.
FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.
