Birthday fun, Split Tongue Gal, DEAD ISLAND trailer, Latest TRANSFORMERS trailer, Jim Breuer and Sebastian Bach Screaming, SLASH and Brad Whitford Jamming, Lisa Ann Groping

Looking for a fun way to spend a special day, like ...uh, say... a birthday?

Get a birthday cake with a candle and blow it out by yourself in the bathroom. or surf some personal ads looking for some strange woman to make the sexy-sexy with...whichever you choose. It's your day, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Truthfully, we're having a hard time deciding how this is anything other than awesome...

She's got a split tongue = She's God's gift to girlfriends everywhere. C'mon. How is she NOT?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)

The latest trailer for TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon has hit the web:

And this could be the most gloomy TRANSFORMERS flick ever. God, we hope so. That last one was kind of a stinker.

Speaking of amazing trailers, there are some folks in Hollywood who could take a lesson from this trailer for DEAD ISLAND:

The game might suck (we have NO idea; it's not even finished yet) but if the trailer is any indication... it's going to be pretty F-ing awesome.

Which Jersey Girl is as Classy as you might suspect? (Drunken Stepfather)



Madison Ivy is the kind of Poison that's just fine to get covered in (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Tammi and Melissa are awfully fine and awfully friendly... awfully (z0d)

Danni Kalifornia is Stunning in any state, not just... oh wait, that's her last name (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

SLASH and AEROSMITH's Brad Whitford spent some quality time in North Carolina the other day:

Doing an Aerosmith cover of a Rufus Thomas song... and now our heads are spinning because that was like a 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing going on there.

Jim Breuer and SEBASTIAN BACH had a little competition to see who could blow his voice out quickest:

No, not really... but we're having a hard time seeing how that wasn't the end result.

...Hey now... where's the GIRLS? Oh. Here they are

Tory Lane is about as subtle as a train wreck as she seduces this nice officer:

Then again, when did you ever hear of anything subtle in a smut video? Exactly. NEVER.

If you had a body like Lisa Ann...

You'd be feeling yourself up nonstop too. Don't even act like you wouldn't, Chesterfield.

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Heavy Metal MILF, Collapsing Wine, Superbowl Trailers, Lotsa OZZY, Fergie & SLASH, New FoundryCams Goodness

Lonely? Go get yourself a Heavy Metal MILF that looks like Tera Patrick

What's the point in recruiting a bunch of healthy young cheerleaders if you're not going to photograph them in their undies

We heard the other day that the kinkiest women on the planet live in West Virginia. Dare to dream, boys and girls.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your disrespectful mouth. Want the number of a good therapist, fella?)

This clip will make anyone with a wine sweet-tooth cry like a baby:

This will make old Chester read the instructions before building shelves again.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your inability to take a joke IS, so lighten up pal)

So, umm... who saw the 'Super Bowl', as it's referred to in the far east?

WOO! The Captain America trailer is online. F I N A L L Y.

Big Robots. Destroying one another.

TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon looks like a movie we'd actually pay to see. Bang. Crash. Boom.

Christina Aguilera messes up the National Anthem. Nah, no one will notice (Drunken Stepfather)


Mmm... Christina Aguilera Boobies

Mandy Dee has boobies that make you go 'Oh mama' (FreakShow Planet)

Featured Model: Sonny Frazier (Bullz-Eye)

Aimee Addison is all that and a Box o' Chicken (Dailyniner)

Julia Morse is code for 'looks really great naked'... meh, we tried (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't hang on to a relationship any longer than five minutes. Here's a gun with a toe trigger.)

and if you were watching the big sporting event, you may have seen THIS:

SLASH showed up and made the BLACK EYED PEAS almost watch-able.

You may have seen OZZY OSBOURNE and (who the F*$& is) JUSTIN BIEBER doing a commercial for BEST BUY:

We'll give them both a tussle for making fun of themselves in this one.

Speaking of OZZY OSBOURNE, we now have the full video of him chucking a bucket of water at one of his wife's co-hosts from The Talk:

Get off the stage, madam. The Prince of Darkess doesn't appreciate your girthy hips.

From aging rockers to young hotness...

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)



...and that, as they say is the whole enchilada... now go ventilate your skull, you bug.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Kitchen MILF, TRANSFORMERS 3 Teaser, Ozzy don't know Bieber, JACKYL is still kicking around and being tactless, Nikki Sexx, Violet, Sabrina Maree, Jasmine Black, Roxy Taggart are topless

In our twisted universe all married women hang around the house looking like this waiting to get a vist from a gentleman caller.

Now, while she might not be only wearing a thong, she's not waiting around for the old man to get the job done... and that's where YOU come in

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

Joe Torres from WABC-TV in New York was reporting on a Catholic Church robbery, and a woman in the background just HAD to be on camera...

This folks, is either the worst luck in the world caught on camera or God's way of staying "Stay in the background, lady".

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The teaser trailer for Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg's latest entry into the TRANSFORMERS franchise has hit the web:

WHAT??? The robots have been on the moon since 1969 (if not earlier)??? You don't say... Wow. Wait, suspension of disbelief... breathe in... breathe out...keep it together

Some people find her attractive. Some find her simply..odd. (Drunken Stepfather)

On the positive side, She's been naked on film... A LOT... and we can appreciate the hell out of that.

COED’s Ass-ential 2010 Advent Calendar (COED Magazine)

Bullz-Eye.com 2010 Year End Music Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

John Lennon: Interesting Facts About his Life and Death (The Bachelor Guy)

Carli Banks lets people take pictures of her naked, gets paid, then laughs all the way to the...Bank. (FreakShow Planet)

With the Bikini AND sunglasses, Rebecca Rayann is wearing exactly 3 ounces of clothing (z0d)

Heather Joy and her lack of Lingerie will bring you much... Happiness...err, Joy. (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

OZZY OSBOURNE hos no idea who JUSTIN BIEBER is...

...and we could not be happier.

Not only is JACKYL still making music, but this all-white-guy band claim they feel 'Just Like A Negro'. Wait, what?

Isn't that Darryl McDaniels from RUN DMC? eeeeeyup. It sure is... Nice save, fellas.

Now let's throttle back on the maturity level a bit and bring out... you guessed it! Boobies!

Not many people can pull off the bikini-and-platform-heels look outside of the strip club. NIKKI SEXX manages to pull it off perfectly

This is just a little taste, but you can see her full scene in CURVY GIRLS 5 (click to watch it on Demand). Now, dammit.

Ready for some broken-English girl-girl fornication? Who isn't?? Jasmine Black and Roxy Taggart are engaged in some wonderful Romainian/Slovakian kitchen fornication:

The movie is called BIG NATURAL TITS 23 ... and as you migh imagine, the women have... oh, we're seriously over-explaining this one.

The tempting Twistys Treat Sabrina Marie is 23 years-old, but would have you believe that she's really a schoolgirl. Oh, but she's not fooling us, nosiree:

She's using that schoolgirl outfit merely as an excuse to play with herself ... in which case, we're extremely tolerant of her trickery.

The tantalizing, tattooed alt-bombshell Violet, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS clips as well as her own solo site has classed up, and dressed down for this photo shoot:

She'll go way more than topless at her official site ... we're just giving you a li'l taste of her goodness.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Reporter nailed with Soccer Ball, Heidi Montag Wants Her Implants OUT, OZZY breaks out the oldies, SHADOWS FALL breaks out the OZZY, PLAYBOY's Barbie Boswell, Madison James, and Monika all sans-clothing

What a day, what a day, thank F-ing God it's... "Hump Day"? hell, ANY day of the week is good for humping, now isn't it?

Quit stalling and have relations with a horny co-worker in a bathroom stall. Get it? Stall / Stall?

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not even remotely as bad as your receding hairline and breath. Here's a mint and some Rogaine)

Rogue Soccer Ball + Female Reporter's Head = ALWAYS funny:

Now kids... Don't go out and buy a bunch of soccer balls to kick at reporters. That would be WRONG. Funny, but wrong.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Heidi Montag wants her Implants Out (WWTDD)

Ehh, all we heard was 'blah, blah, blah, HEIDI MONTAG, something something' when the FUCK is Vivid going to release the goddamn Heidi Montag Sex tape??? Hell YES, we're impatient!


Tila Tequila has a band-aid on her face boo-boo (Drunken Stepfather)

Now THAT is a girl who NEEDS to make a Celebrity Sex Tape. Then we MIGHT be interested.

The 8 Hottest Guy-On-Girl Oral Sex Scenes (The Frisky)

Tiffany Joy will fill your heart (and shorts) with Joy (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Jessica Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Faye Reagan has some of the biggest nips we have EVER seen (z0d)

Madison Scott and Her Friend Get all kinds of Freaky in the Shower (Dailyniner)

Movies That Would Have Been Ruined by Facebook (MovieFone)

New Solar System Found, We Hope They Have Dinosaurs (GammaSquad)

Twilight Crew Scared After Brazilian Standoff (FilmDrunk)

Larry Johnson’s $2290 Bar Tab From the Night He Allegedly Spit in a Women’s Face (BroBible)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that most of your friends' names are plastered on the front of whiskey bottles)

Long time personal friend (no, seriously...really) OZZY OSBOURNE dusted off "Killer Of Giants" for the nice folks in Italy:

the Italians must be longing for anti-war anthems. OZZY OSBOURNE is on tour now Get Them Tickets now!

Speaking of OZZY OSBOURNE, the guys in SHADOWS FALL have a killer version of "Bark at the Moon":

They broke this out at the Rockstar Music Energy Festival and made the metalheads very chipper.

Metal...meet mama's boobs!!

would you take a look at the boobs on PLAYBOY's Barbie Boswell! Those are the kind of things you could paint a portrait of:

Barbie is tall, tan, hails from Florida, and looks really great without her clothes on. Wouldn't it be a shame if she didn't? Hah.

Booty-tastic Madison James has an ass that was made for grabbing and shaking. If only that dipshit cameraman would shut up:

She shakes it and wiggles it just enough before getting herself tag-teamed by two gentlemen...and we use the term 'Gentlemen' loosely.

21 year-old sexy, slender Czech babe Monika is way too hot in that blue sun dress:

who could blame her really? Oh - and Monika can also fit her whole hand in her mouth. Classy, right?

Emi, who has been featured in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips, is once again shaking her tattooed tail in tribute to "Tattoos & Tequila" by VINCE NEIL of MOTLEY CRUE. We wanted her to drink Vince Neil's Tres Rios Tequila while she made this clip, but after thinking it through, we realized no one wanted to see a clip of a giggling tattooed chick falling down.


Click on Emi's very large tattoo, enjoy some Tequila if you'd like, then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Emi LIVE (try not to get too wasted; you don't want any of that drunk-typing happening)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Friday Links: Dog eats Police Car, Last Airbender Trailer 3, Shauna Sand's New Boy Toy, Jesse James is up to #4, Axl Rose is a Big Deal, New ATREYU

Did you spend the week flirting with a good-looking co-worker?



Make your move this weekend! Consenting adults can have consensual sex. Married, Shmarried. More women are cheating these days than EVER.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(But your breath is. How's about we wash your mouth out with Bleach?)

Psst - when your dog is eating the bumper off the local police cruisers...




It may be time to cough up some cash for obedience lessons.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The third trailer for M. Night Shyamalan film, The Last Airbender is online:




Could the once-mighty M. Night Shyamalan have a hit on his hands? We sure hope so.

Want to do stupid shit on video and get famous? OF COURSE YOU DO! (Make A Dare)





and Jesse James is up to FOUR ...um, whores (WWTDD)



...of course who could forget the one and only Michelle Bombshell McGee, whose hardcore vids are online in only one place....HERE





Shauna Sand's ass has a new Boy Toy (Drunken Stepfather)



Thank God, you know... Maybe she can make a follow-up sex tape



Attractive Retard Sues ABC (Warming Glow)



Playboy's Brandi Mae Braxton has a white trash name, but a million dollar body (Freakshow Planet)



Meet The Cast of 'Hot Tub Time Machine' (Bullz-Eye)



Faye Reagan has a Presidential name, but when's the last time the Commander-in-Chief licked his own kneecaps? (Dailyniner)



6 Awesome Food Products Discontinued Before Their Time (Asylum)



Richard Alpert Old Spice Guy FTW (NextRound)



Julri Waters...wow, there's so many Asian jokes we could make right now, but her boobs are too distracting (z0d)



25 Sexist Vintage Ads (Manofest)



People Are Like Nintendo Games (CollegeHumor)



Snake Lake: Behind the Screams (atom)



15 Creative and Delicious Things You Can Make With Oreos (The Bachelor Guy)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your personality is more likely to get you shot than promoted)

You know, Axl Rose of GUNS N' ROSES is kind of a big deal:



In Lima, Peru...that is. He flew in a day aftet the rest of the band and crew... flanked by security.

Those friendly guys in ATREYU have a new video for "Lonely":



That's an angry-looking L.S.F...Lead singer face. Roaaaaar, he's angry!

From bands to babes, let's get those salivary glands going....

Super-sexyCrissy Moran isn't happy with that long black gown:



Off with you, vile evening wear! She lasts about 58 seconds before going to town on herself

Yay! More fanny!

Lovely Latina Valentina Vaughn is behind bars:



OK, that's a lie. She's on the stairs diddling herself. We took a little creative license with that one.

Her name is Sydney Moon and she's playing with the luckiest golden dildo EVER:



She's gets naughty very fast... treat yourself to the full-length clip!

Let's once again honor our lovely friend GISELE who has done a ton of FOUNDRY CAMS videos for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.