Birthday fun, Split Tongue Gal, DEAD ISLAND trailer, Latest TRANSFORMERS trailer, Jim Breuer and Sebastian Bach Screaming, SLASH and Brad Whitford Jamming, Lisa Ann Groping

Looking for a fun way to spend a special day, like ...uh, say... a birthday?

Get a birthday cake with a candle and blow it out by yourself in the bathroom. or surf some personal ads looking for some strange woman to make the sexy-sexy with...whichever you choose. It's your day, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)

Truthfully, we're having a hard time deciding how this is anything other than awesome...

She's got a split tongue = She's God's gift to girlfriends everywhere. C'mon. How is she NOT?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)

The latest trailer for TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon has hit the web:

And this could be the most gloomy TRANSFORMERS flick ever. God, we hope so. That last one was kind of a stinker.

Speaking of amazing trailers, there are some folks in Hollywood who could take a lesson from this trailer for DEAD ISLAND:

The game might suck (we have NO idea; it's not even finished yet) but if the trailer is any indication... it's going to be pretty F-ing awesome.

Which Jersey Girl is as Classy as you might suspect? (Drunken Stepfather)



Madison Ivy is the kind of Poison that's just fine to get covered in (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Tammi and Melissa are awfully fine and awfully friendly... awfully (z0d)

Danni Kalifornia is Stunning in any state, not just... oh wait, that's her last name (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

SLASH and AEROSMITH's Brad Whitford spent some quality time in North Carolina the other day:

Doing an Aerosmith cover of a Rufus Thomas song... and now our heads are spinning because that was like a 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon' thing going on there.

Jim Breuer and SEBASTIAN BACH had a little competition to see who could blow his voice out quickest:

No, not really... but we're having a hard time seeing how that wasn't the end result.

...Hey now... where's the GIRLS? Oh. Here they are

Tory Lane is about as subtle as a train wreck as she seduces this nice officer:

Then again, when did you ever hear of anything subtle in a smut video? Exactly. NEVER.

If you had a body like Lisa Ann...

You'd be feeling yourself up nonstop too. Don't even act like you wouldn't, Chesterfield.

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Russian Cop Vs. Wolves, SLASH does old school GNR, SEBASTIAN BACH does old school SKID ROW, New MURDERDOLLS video, Priya Anjali Rai, Bridgette B, and Leanne Crow show off their goods

Hi ho, Hi ho, Fornacatin' We Will Go... just turn your secrectary into a ho...

A ho, A ho, A ho, A ho if your actual secretary looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal then BONUS! You're going to have a fun day, friend.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but the size of your clothing keeps increasing, and that's pretty upsetting, dontcha think?)

A Russian police office dove into a suspect's car to evade a pack of wolves (no bullshit):

"License and Registration, madam...OH SHIT! WOLVES!".

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Holy Shmoley! Whose ass in jeans is THIS? (Drunken Stepfather)

Her name is Sophie Turner, and ten bucks says you can find lots of naked pics of her

Avril Lavigne looking hotter than usual (Maxim)

Modern Flames: 40 Contemporary Fireplace Designs (DesignCrave)

Ryana Daniels is busty chocolate kiss (Freakshow Planet)

New Addiction: Your Mom Was Hot.. dot com (TheBachelorGuy)

Blast from the Past: Brittany Myers (Bullz-Eye)

Koopa gets a star (Dorkly)

Dylan Ryder and her friend are awfully fond of one another (z0d)

Mariah Madysinn is very proud of her boobs. Look at the way she shows them off! (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you get winded walking from your car to the front door. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday)

Our pal SEBASTIAN BACHmay be an old fart, but he still sings like a young... fart:

He's just an old man gone wild...

Another chumley of ours, the one and only SLASH has added "Welcome to The Jungle" to his current touring set list:

Somewhere in Portugal, Axl Rose is making an audience wait...for a while.

Slash is on the road promoting Slash - The 2 CD/DVD Deluxe Edition, and if you haven't picked it up yet, you might have tumors:

Moving to the slightly twisted those odd looking boys in MURDERDOLLS just released their video for "Chapel of Blood":

Guy in a gimp suit, girl getting molested... yeah, it's out there alright.

Those goons are out promoting Women And Children Last, which sounds like a friendly title, doesn't it?


From rock, we segue gently... or not-so gently... to RACKS!

Beautiful blond Bridgette B. is 130 lbs (mostly boobs) of pure awesome:

...and she's got electric tape all over her nips. They must be leaky. oh wait, that's not the case at all. She's a dirty girl, ain't she?

Speaking of boobs busty British bombshell Leanne Crow is wearing a bikini that's about 8 sizes too small

Off with you, flimsy fabric! make way for Leanne's massive love bombs!

Exotic Indian Goddess Priya Anjali Rai is having her way with the luckiest Sybian EVER

Lucky piece of machinery who knew you could do THIS on a Sybian? Apparently SHE did.

Our friends in PAPA ROACH, who just released Time For Annihilation..On the Record, and On The Road gave us their song "Burn".
We had our own Nina from FOUNDRY CAMS tear up a FoundryMusic Shirt and make us a spank-tastic video:



Click on Nina's Cleavage to check out her Smokin' Hot Body...and then some.

Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Nina LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Up-Close Shark Video, Dina Lohan is a Swell Parent, SLAYER in Germany, Buckcherry On Kimmel, Sebastian Bach in Norway, MONSTERS trailer, Rachel Aldana, Shione Cooper, and Kimberly Rogers

Hooray! You made it through another week! head down to the Jersey Shore and have carnal relations with a young, promiscuous Italian gal... because that's what you do.

Just because they're on TV doesn't make them unattainable. MTV doesn't hire these girls for their strong moral judgement. GTL, bitches... then get laid.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Almost as bad as your taste in clothing, your friends, and your deodorant. What did you wear a skunk under each arm today?)

Surfer Chuck Patterson filmed a Great White up close:

He didn't get any video of his soiled undies.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Dina Lohan is a wonderful parent. (WWTDD)

Speaking of superb parenting, Lindsay Lohan's next movie is a Linda Lovelace biopic. No clue who that is? Click it, Chester

Speaking of pseudo-famous offspring and awesome parenting, let's plug the Montana Fishburne video...One! More! Time!

Montana Exposed - The Montana Fishburne Sex Tape (Vivid)


Awkward-looking MILF ass in shorts - 12 o'clock! (Drunken Stepfather)

and WHO might that hiney belong to... Bam! Ka-Pow! Hit me baby one more...... dammit! Gave it away again.

April O'Neil will get you excited in April, May, June, July...eh, you get it. (Freakshow Planet)

Load up on guns and bring your friends: Twenty great action movie ensemble casts (Bullz-Eye)

Charlie Sheen Celebrates Freedom at the Playboy Mansion (PICS) (The Smoking Jacket)

Five People You’ll Meet in College (The Campus Socialite)

A Salute To Friday the 13th (Gunaxin)

7 ways to make the most of the last month of summer (Guyism)

This is the Wrong Book store (PIC) (Dave and Thomas)

Every time a Doorbell Rings, Lupe Fuentes gets Her Wings... or something. (Dailyniner)

6 Gods Who Used Their Powers to Get Laid (Asylum)

Celeste Star is giving herself the most awesome frontal wedgie ever (z0d)

New TERMINATOR movie! Now Here's the BAD news (GammaSquad)

Scottie Pippen in 1991 Commercial for Mr. Submarine: 'Ladies, Let's Have a Party' (Brobible)

I'M SORRY:
(So sorry your breath could send seagulls away from a Staten Island landfill)

What do Germans love more than Beer and Bratwurst? SLAYER, maaaan!:

Incidentally SLAYER is on the road with MEGADETH now... So get some tickets, madam.

You know, for a song about Crazy Bitches, BUCKCHERRY's 'Crazy Bitch' doesn't make Crazy Bitches seem so bad:

BUCKCHERRY is on tour now (tickets, amigo), but stopped by Jimmy Kimmel's show to promote their new album.

Even though he's over 40, SEBASTIAN BACH still sings like a 12 year-old with a groin injury:

...and we mean that in the most flattering sense. We think.

From Music...To MOVIES!

Much like DISTRICT 9 the new Alien-fest MONSTERS cost next-to-nothing to make:

We're digging the trailer... so far.

and from MOVIES...to MASSIVE MELONS!

Busty British babe Rachel Aldana has 32L-sized breasts:

There is no logical reason for them to be covered. thank God she feels the same way.

Large-bosomed Czech gal Shione Cooper doesn't know a damn thing about cars, but she's changing your oil without a shirt on:

Oh hell. take a chance and let the woman fix your car...at least you get some eye candy.

Everyone say hi to Australian Hottie Kimberly Rogers:

You wouldn't know it to look at her, but Kimberly has a religious objection to underwear...we want to join her church.

Janelle is a curvy, 23 year-old Latina with exotic green eyes DD-sized breasts, and an ass-tastic hiney that fits perfectly in a tiny thong. We sent Janelle one of our HUGE old-school FoundryMusic T-Shirts, and she wore it for a few seconds, then tossed it aside in favor of fishnet stockings and pink panties. We have ZERO objection to this behavior, and we'll continue to encourage it.
Thanks to our Boston boys in EXTREME for the song "King of the Ladies".



Click the pic. Rub your...(oh, now that's just not neccessary, is it?) then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Janelle LIVE (she'll be wearing next-to-nothing. You wear whatever the hell you want, amigo)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Failed Fridge Theft, Kendra's Sex Tape Looks Awesome, Kim Kardashian's Kans, Sebastian Bach in Argentina, Receding Hairline Metal with ACCEPT, Hot Latvian Ass, PLAYBOY's Keylee Parker

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Like the lingering stench of body odor and farts you leave behind in every room)

Two geniuses try to steal a fridge in the wee hours of the morning...


...and when they realize it's too heavy, they... Well, you'll see.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Kendra's Sex Tape Looks Illegal (WWTDD)

Oh who are we bullshitting? VIVID is releasing the video later this month...and we can't wait to get our grubby mitts on it.


blah blah blah Kim Kardashian's Tits blah blah blah (Drunken Stepfather)

blah blah blah Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape blah blah blah

Is Miss USA Too Sexy? (Asylum)

Amazing Cleavage Art Made From Masking Tape (UPROXX)

Celeste Star is going to go Far... in the naked lady business, that is (Freakshow Planet)

A no-nonsense guide to designing your workout (Bullz-Eye)

Lovely Lara Leverence will make you want to Lick you Monitor (Dailyniner)

Worst Wedding DJ Ever (College Humor)

AUnderstanding the Complexities of Gtalk Status Icons (FunnyCrave)

Angel Cassidy in a Latex/Chain bikini.. *drool* (z0d)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that there isn't a toothpaste strong enough to clean those awful teeth of yours)

Looks like SEBASTIAN BACH is an Old-Fart-Gone-Wild:

...and 40,000 screaming Argentinians are loving every second of it.

It's time for Receding Hairline Heavy Metal with our German friends in ACCEPT (order online now!):

the new album will be out later this year, but you can fill your iPod with German goodness now!

From German Heavy Metal to Latvian Hot ass...

Who knew they grew hot ass in Latvia? smokin' hot Latvian hotness Inga C can't wait to get out of that body stocking:

We know how she feels. We hate body stockings too. Inga really seems to object to all forms of clothing...which isn't a bad thing.

Holy busty! PLAYBOY's Keylee Parker has 34G-sized gazongas:

which is our classy way of saying 'funbags' how does she stay upright with those things?... lotsa practice, evidently.

and since we like shameless self-promotion as much as the next fella

Here's Samantha in one of our official FoundryMusic T-Shirts shaking her ass to "Satisfied" by SOCIAL CODE:

CLICK THE PIC TO SEE SAMANTHA's SEXY STRIP!
(well it almost rhymes)

Then, when you have some motor function back... chat with Samantha LIVE, one-on-one, on her cam!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: German Girl Falls, Japanese Manager Apologizes, Sebastian Bach Catches a Bra, Jelena Jensen, Aria Giovanni and Bryci fondle funbags

 

It's almost New Years Eve, kids. You know what THAT means, dontcha?

The likelihood that you'll wind up fooling around with your friend's wasted girlfriend increase drastically.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Fake or not, German girl falling off chair = ALWAYS funny:

We're not what you'd call "cultured" so we have no clue what she's saying.

This Japanese restaurant manager is apologizing...endlessly:

We get it. You're sorry. STOP bowing!

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:
(but your perma-frown isn't making you any friends, buster)

Nicole 'Coco' Austin has a body that is not found in nature
(Drunken Stepfather)

Katy Marie is muy bueno ...that means 'very good' (z0d)

2010 Bikini Model search (Bullz-Eye)

Avery Morgan's boobs are more than a mouthful (Daily Niner)

Wassup! The Adidas Originals Star Wars Collection for 2010 (Dave and Thomas)

London Keyes. Odd Name. Sexy F-ing Body (FreakshowPlanet)

Snooki Punch: The Dog Version (Warming Glow)

The Ten Most Surprising Deaths of 2009 (Gunaxin)

'Youth in Revolt': The Rare January Treat? (Inside Movies)

The 25 Funniest Moments In Vandalism History (Manofest)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you think your IQ has increased with your ego. Nope. You're STILL an idiot.)

Buxom brunette adult starlet Jelena Jensen is flinging off her black leather bra.

No sense in keeping that oppressive clothing on, right?

Speaking of buxom ladies, ass-tastic Aria Giovanni is fondling her funbags under the Christmas tree:

Some families leave cookies under the XMAS tree. Some like to leave Aria Giovanni

Aging headbanger and middle-aged metalhead Sebastian Bach pulls out the "Big Guns" in Moscow.

...and makes an unintentional bra-catch in the process.

From bands to a busty gal named Brycim we learn the most inefficient way to drink a glass of milk:

You're spilling it, missy! Oh man, someone get a mop.

Ho, Ho, Holy shit! It's time for another FOUNDRY CAMS Christmas compilation! We turned to our pal GARY HOEY, who gave us "Deck The Halls" to use in this clip, and then we got some amazing Holiday-themed videos from Shanelle, Countess, Alanna, Layla, Wanda, and Jessica Klein. We mashed 'em together and got this great Christmas video, loaded with hot cam-babe asses.

CLICK THE PIC AND ENJOY SOME HOLIDAY HINEYS!

(and now to recap, because we can't remember five seconds ago, let alone five minutes)

Chop Chop! the lonely hot MILF next door is lonely, so spend some time with her, and then curl up in front of the MEDIA SECTION, where you'll find:

SEBASTIAN BACH catches a Bra (unintentionally) on stage in Moscow
Jelena Jensen Breaks free from her Black Leather Bra
Japanese Restaurant Manager Apologizes Endlessly
Aria Giovanni's Topless Christmas
Singing German Girl Falls Off Chair
Bryci Pours milk all over her huge boobs

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Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)
LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)

 

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