HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Worst Guitar Solo, Close Call Car Crash, Snooki Does Rolling Stone, WHITESNAKE unplugged, MOTLEY CRUE summer tour, VINCE NEIL's Mistake, American Idol does Judas Priest, Angie Savage does Zebra

Seriously trying to find something wiseass to say here, and coming up very very blank:

Face it. Your mom and her friends are smoking hot and as long as she posting photos like these... we'll forever be struggling with what to say.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

All the guitar lessons in the world aren't going to help this dude:

Give it up, shmuck. You're not going to get any better.

Officer! We're going to need a fresh diaper and a clean pair of slacks for this man!

Ten more feet, and that guy was going to be buried in two boxes.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


Why is the seriously un-bangable SNOOKI on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine? (Drunken Stepfather)

Is ROLLING STONE doing this deliberately to piss off readers, or is it honor-a-troll month and nobody told us? Magazine sales must be sliding.


Charlie Sheen on Living with Goddesses: 7 Relationship Tips (How About We)

Vanessa Lake is wrapped in Latex on a Summer Day. No wonder she's taking her clothes off (FreakShow Planet)

A Chat with Topher Grace (Bullz Eye)

Conny is kinda cute...and that's kind of an understatement of the year (z0d)

Jana and Georgia are all kinds of friendly and naked, and that's just the way we likes 'em (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

Has David Coverdale ever NOT looked like an old woman? We say 'uhh, no'

Keep in mind this show was in Tokyo in 1997... and it's all downhill from here, kids.

Speaking of old ladies, who's the old woman sitting between Tommy and Nikki from MOTLEY CRUE?

Oh. Oh, wait a minute. That's David Johansen. Nice wig.

In a candid, sit-down interview with... his girlfriend... VINCE NEIL said that his latest DUI arrest and stint in jail was a 'mistake'.

He also revealed that the sky is blue and water is wet. Glug-Glug, Vrooom, Vince.

Anyone else see the little gay kid doing the JUDAS PRIEST song on American Idol>

OK, OK... we have no idea if that's true. He may be a gay MAN. Oh...zing... swee what we did there?

Oh let's just get to the boobs... So glad you agree:

How many zebras had to die to make Angie Savage's Bikini?

Umm, none. It's a fucking bikini. It's cloth. Chill out.

When you have boobs as big as Leanne Crow, you just have to play with 'em

Well you don't HAVE to... but it's really fun when you can.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Osprey Takes Out Tree, Megan Fox in a Bikini, Bret Michaels Drops 'Idol' Hint, New KORN video, Brand New Mary Carey, Bella Valentine

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

The V22 Osprey is great for inserting troops into rocky terrain...

...and getting rid of pesky trees in your backyard.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Megan Fox. In A Bikini (WWTDD)

and where would we be without... Megan Fox...WITHOUT a bikini!


Jaimie Hilfiger (um, who?) is wearing a bikini (Drunken Stepfather)

Sexy Celebrities And Their Ugly Significant Others: A Field Guide (UPROXX)

Anette Dawn will have you bug-eyed from dusk till ... well... you know (Freakshow Planet)

A chat with Steve Austin (Bullz-Eye)

Sarah Pipkin is having a Picnic... Oh wait, she just took off her shirt and threw it over a haystack (Dailyniner)

Top 20 Awesome Fictional Cars (Gunaxin)

How to Build your own Superhero (FunnyCrave)

Syren Sexton looks like she enjoys sex...a ton... umm, get it? (z0d)

KORN answers YOUR Questions (The Bachelor Guy)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

Our buddy our pal BRET MICHAELS dropped a none-too-subtle hint about being a new judge on American Idol:

This was in front of 1800 people at the Hard Rock Casino in Biloxi, MS. now fill your iPod with Bret Michaels...the man has medical bills, dammit!

Our pals in KORN are on tour now (Click for Tickets) and they just released a new video:

"Oildale (Leave Me Alone)" comes off the band's new disc Korn III: Remember who you Are... coming out July 13.

From rock gods to great bods...

Our busty buddy Mary Carey has a brand new site and sent us some clips to help promote it:

Blatant plug-whoring? Sure... But it's Mary Carey and she's totally hardcore so we're FINE with it

Beautiful blond babe Bella Valentine was born in Italy, raised in Poland, and resides in the U.S.:

Bella could be the most worldly piece of ass we've ever encountered.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Kendra's video RULES, Police Offer Frees Dog, 50 Cent Looks Great, Jonah Hex Trailer 2, Bon Jovi at Giants Stadium, Bret Michaels On American Idol, Jorn Lande's DIO Tribute, Busty Ellen and Jamie Graham

Just in case you missed the big news...we're having a party over here because...

Kendra Exposed: The Kendra Wilkinson Sex Tape is AVAILABLE NOW...and it's the most AMAZING video ever... next to the Zapruder film.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your shitty sense of entitlement)

A Plattsburg, Missouri police officer rescued a trapped pooch from a fence a while back:


... and then the dog went and did something just... silly.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The second trailer for the big screen adaptation of JONAH HEX is online:


You got yer Josh Brolin, you got your Megan Fox... *drool*, oh and don't forget John Malkovich. Oh, and LOTS of shit blowing up.

50 CENT Looks Great! (WWTDD)


Sex & The See-Through Shirt... Guess who? (Drunken Stepfather)

OK, so we limited it to a potential FOUR women...but this one is by FAR the most do-able of the bunch...and we have seen her boobies on screen.

A Tribute to Silence of the Lambs’ Buffalo Bill (Gunaxin)

Shay Laren and Her Huge Hooters are Hanging out by the Pool (Freakshow Planet)

A Chat with Richard Roeper (Bullz-Eye)

PLAYBOY's Kathleen Edge is Getting Naked ...in the study... with a candlestick... get it? CLUE joke. (Dailyniner)

The 50 Hottest World Cup WAGs of All-Time (Bleacher Report)

Step Right Up And See The Twitter (UPROXX)

Stacy Silver Shows off The Luckiest Leather Undies EVER (z0d)

Worst Death Ever: Car Crash With Flatbed Truck Hauling 17 million Bees (GammaSquad)

The 12 most awesome cowboys in TV & film history (Guyism)

A Fear Of Hobos (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to skim the pool and change the kegs in a timely fashion. Maybe next time you won't have to sleep in the garage)

Our buds in BON JOVI are on the road (click to get your mitts on the best tix!) and they christened the new Meadowlands Stadium last night:

It was an intimate affair. In front of about 50,000 screaming fans. get your tickets, kids!.

Once again, our pal BRET MICHAELS (load up that iPod, damn you) defied his doctors once again and hit the stage on American Idol last night:

...Casey James looked like a happy boy, doesn't he? Woulda been happier if he WON...but her DIDN'T.

Norwegian Metal Crooner JORN LANDE (who has been in more bands than we can count) recorded a tribute to the late great Ronnie James Dio:

Jorn Lande and his fu manchu are uber-serious.

From Rock Gods to Hot Bods...

Breastacular Busty Ellen and her 34G Boobs went for a ride...with her top down:

Get it? Top Down? Topless? Naked? Eh?

Shapely PLAYBOY babe Jamie Graham is totally nude... in the shower:

As opposed to clothed? is there any other way to shower? Evidently not.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

NEW DVD REVIEWS ONLINE - Jewel De'Nyle, Love African American Style, Strap On Sally, Don't Let Daddy Know

Boys and girls, I've been jacking my udders all month to bring you some reviews of the FINEST adult entertainment the bossman has ever sent my way... Check out some of the filth I've got for you:

• Notorious Jewel De'Nyle and Shelly Martinez


• Love African American Style 2


• Strap On Sally 23


• Don't Let Daddy Know 4


• It Takes Two 5