Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sexy Teacher, Clumsy Thief, Replacement Drummer in AVENGED SEVENFOLD, Replacement Guitarist in SEVENDUST, Replacement Everyone in THIN LIZZY, Drunken frontman in LYNCH MOB, Frisky Mary Carey, Pantsless Brandy Talore



  • All this news about Charlie Sheen's drugged-up debauchery has us feeling a little lonesome.

    Thankfully, there are cities full of women looking to have uncommitted flings with total strangers


  • THAT's TERRIBLE:
    (Just like your hairline, height, and choice in clothing)
  • The world's clumsiest thief knocked over a lottery office in Brazil:

    Now all the police have to do is find the guy wearing a raincoat and motorcycle helmet. That shouldn't bee too hard, should it?



  • THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

    (but youre stench is pretty unbearable. Use deodorant much?)

    Will Rihanna ever stop sexting? (Drunken Stepfather)

    Monicca spells her name strange, but looks anything but stunning (FreakShow Planet)

    2011 Bullz-Eye Car Review: 2011 Dodge Durango (Bullz-Eye)

    Ivana watch Ivana get naked in the Grass (Dailyniner)

    AAilya Love - strange spelling. Excellent hiney (z0d)



    I'M SORRY:
    (Sorry that the younger guys keep getting promoted over you)

  • AVENGED SEVENFOLD brought out (what will probably be) their new drummer in PA:

    That's a hell of a gig if you can get it. Just ask Mike Portnoy.



  • SEVENDUST could be the most underrated, under-funded band to ever play in front of thousands of people:

    This this them in Iowa, minus Clint Lowery, who is hanging with his new kid.



  • How many original members are remaining in THIN LIZZY?:

    Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.



  • George Lynch and the rest of LYNCH MOB covered for a very drunk (or so it would seem) Oni Logan in Denver:

    Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the world's first 90 proof singer!




  • From hard rock, we gently segue into hard nipples (no, not because of the frigid weather, either)

  • Our pal Mary Carey doesn't need much of a reason to get naked:

    She gets horny outside... around pink flowers... in the kitchen... in the living room... in the bathroom... in the pool... in the garage... etc, etc, and so forth


  • Massively busty Brandy Talore is getting a special delivery:

  • ...and by 'special', we mean the kind of delivery that requires a young lady to answer the door in her underwear. How come this never happens when we answer the door in OUR underwear? Hmmm?



    ...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

  • Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

    We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

    FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

    Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

    be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

    We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

    We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

    We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

    FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.


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