Sexy Teacher, Clumsy Thief, Replacement Drummer in AVENGED SEVENFOLD, Replacement Guitarist in SEVENDUST, Replacement Everyone in THIN LIZZY, Drunken frontman in LYNCH MOB, Frisky Mary Carey, Pantsless Brandy Talore

All this news about Charlie Sheen's drugged-up debauchery has us feeling a little lonesome.

Thankfully, there are cities full of women looking to have uncommitted flings with total strangers

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your hairline, height, and choice in clothing)

The world's clumsiest thief knocked over a lottery office in Brazil:

Now all the police have to do is find the guy wearing a raincoat and motorcycle helmet. That shouldn't bee too hard, should it?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but youre stench is pretty unbearable. Use deodorant much?)

Will Rihanna ever stop sexting? (Drunken Stepfather)

Monicca spells her name strange, but looks anything but stunning (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Bullz-Eye Car Review: 2011 Dodge Durango (Bullz-Eye)

Ivana watch Ivana get naked in the Grass (Dailyniner)

AAilya Love - strange spelling. Excellent hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the younger guys keep getting promoted over you)

AVENGED SEVENFOLD brought out (what will probably be) their new drummer in PA:

That's a hell of a gig if you can get it. Just ask Mike Portnoy.

SEVENDUST could be the most underrated, under-funded band to ever play in front of thousands of people:

This this them in Iowa, minus Clint Lowery, who is hanging with his new kid.

How many original members are remaining in THIN LIZZY?:

Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.

George Lynch and the rest of LYNCH MOB covered for a very drunk (or so it would seem) Oni Logan in Denver:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the world's first 90 proof singer!

From hard rock, we gently segue into hard nipples (no, not because of the frigid weather, either)

Our pal Mary Carey doesn't need much of a reason to get naked:

She gets horny outside... around pink flowers... in the kitchen... in the living room... in the bathroom... in the pool... in the garage... etc, etc, and so forth

Massively busty Brandy Talore is getting a special delivery:

...and by 'special', we mean the kind of delivery that requires a young lady to answer the door in her underwear. How come this never happens when we answer the door in OUR underwear? Hmmm?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

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FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

New Years Speculation? Girl vs. Bike Ramp, Mystery Bikini Arse, George Lynch In Alaska, OZZY does Vogue, September Carrino, Brandy Robbins and their obnoxiously huge cans

Another year, another batch of strangeness for you to enjoy... another photo of Lindsay Lohan...

What does this link have to do with Lindsay Lohan? Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. Well, She's deviant. We're deviant. We endorse deviant behavior. That's about it.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(How's about a New Year's Resolution to get into smaller jeans? No? Didn't think so)

Well, at least she was wearing a helmet when she plowed broadside into that bike ramp:

...and WHY anyone would want to jump a mountain bike off a pier is beyond our comprehension.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Like movies? Want to have your reviews in our MOVIE REVIEW SECTION? No problem. Just Email us with a sample review ... now, dammit!


A surprisingly shapely arse in a bikini. Whose could it be? (Drunken Stepfather)

the polygamist bit isn't convincing she blew her boyfriend on filmK... that's not giving too much away, is it?

Kelly Maines is mainly topless in this photo set (FreakShow Planet)

Movie Review: True Grit (Bullz-Eye)

PLAYBOY's Barbara Moore is More naked by the ppol = More Gooder (z0d)

Dylan Rider is sexy enough to want to Ride...her... get it? (Dailyniner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry, not every meal consists of cake, blubber guts)

He's GEORGE LYNCH and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

And from the sounds of it, he's probably not getting back together with DOKKEN anytime soon.

It looks like OZZY OSBOURNE picked up on MADONNA's Vogue move about 20 years too late:

Just watch the first few minutes of the clip; you'll understand.

Lemmy Kilmister and Phil Campbell of MOTORHEAD and their respective face bumps joined CAMP FREDDY on stage at The Roxy in Hollywood:

Lemmy's not rich, but he IS famous. Infamous, even... whether or not he's happy with that is another story.

Should all boobies be forgot... wait, no... scratch that...

Brandy Robbins has 30G-sized funbags and she's doing what any woman with boobs that big SHOULD be doing:

She's rolling around in suds. Any arguments? No? Didn't think so.

As long as we're ogling abnormally-huge bosoms, take a look at September Carrino and her HH-cup Hooters, and the HH stands for "Holy Hell those boobs are Huge":

That red sweater is the luckiest piece of fabric... EVER.

...and that, as they say, is that. Now go enjoy the day and try not to offend anyone with your horrendous stench...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Man Ruins Car Hood, PRIEST Trailer, Scarlett Johansson posing for MANGO, EXODUS and the Toxic Waltz, LYNCH MOB does DOKKEN, Mary Carey, Angie Savage, and Jenni Lee all do Naked

It's one of a handful of warm days, so why not head to the beach and pick up a sexy, lost, lonesome, MILF, bring her back to your place, and make her some iced tea:

and by 'Make her some iced tea' we mean get her liquored up and toss her around a motel room for a while. Her kids will find their way home... hopefully. Worry about YOU.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as the news you're about to get, fella)

A man steps off a city bus with his head firmly planted up his ass...

...and ruins the paint job on a fancy sports car convertible. Nice going, mister.

Does Paul Bettany LOVE playing angst-ridden religious characters? (Davinci Code, Legion)

Here comes another one in PRIEST.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Scarlett Johansson posing for MANGO (Drunken Stepfather)

But what you really want to see is... Scarlett Johansson's Boobs and Butt Shaking around on film... Damn you, Ryan Reynolds!

Best Birthday Cake EVER (Dave and Thomas)

Amber Jay has a badass back tattoo, but you can't see it until she pops lifts up her lingerie (Freakshow Planet)

The Office: Season 6 - Review (Bullz-Eye)

Blake Rose really likes being naked and playing with her pink taco (z0d)

10 Steps To Dominating The Marriage Killer Known As Fantasy Football (UPROXX)

Ash Hollywood Fellates the luckiest banana EVER (Dailyniner)

House Guests: What Would George Clooney Do? (Ask Men)

Teri Hatcher's Swimsuit Snapshots (Too Fab)

2010 SpoCom Hawaii - Booth Babes, Promo Models, Go-Go Dancers & Girls Galore (Sub5Zero)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you got passed over for that promotion...again)

The next time you're at a wedding, ask Grandma if she wants to do the 'Toxic Waltz':

Then throw on the EXODUS song. She'll shit her adult diapers.

OK, so George Lynch, who used to be in DOKKEN, and is now touring clubs with LYNCH MOB is playing DOKKEN covers:

It's the whole "playing clubs" thing we can't get over. Maybe it's time to take up bricklaying.

Saaay, who's that hanging outside the welfare office? Oh wait, that's not the welfare office. It's the free clinic.

Our favorite ditzy blond Mary Carey gets all horny when she rides her porch swing:

So of COURSE she has to pull out the biggest rubber dildo she can find. Why judge? We do the same thing.

Speaking of ditzy blondes, busty blond Angie Savage has a sequined skin-tight dress on (definition of 'class', incidentally):

She pulls that sucker out and cozies up to a very lonely vibrator. YES, vibrators get lonely. Sheesh. Where have YOU been?

From blondes to brunettes, we shift over to Nashville native Jenni Lee, who looks amazing in fishnets and heels:

However, she looks even MORE amazing OUT of them. Nude southern chicks RULE. That's in the Bible somewhere.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Palin Heckler Stomped, Heidi Montag Might be single, Looking Up Mila Kunis' shirt, DOKKEN and MEGADETH live, Violet's new Video

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(Just like your very existence. You suck at life, and it's a miracle you haven't blown your own head off yet)

A young heckler went to a Sarah Palin rally...




and all he got was these lousy footprints on his neck.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



ANDREW W.K. picks his Five Favorite Restaurants in New York City (Immaculate Infatuation)





Heidi Montag is Single! Maybe! (WWTDD)



...and because we know you want it... Heidi Montag is Naked! Almost!





Mila Kunis, we can see up your shirt! (Drunken Stepfather)



Oh Mila Kunis... you are such a tease...



Seven Types of Animal Lawn Ornaments Explained (Gunaxin)



Lana Lopez is holding a bass guitar...A VERY LUCKY...bass. (Freakshow Planet)



Mallory Clark Makes a Bikini Look Better (Bullz-Eye)



Karlie Montana is all Tied Up (Dailyniner)



INDEPENDENCE DAY 2 & 3 Shooting Back-To-Back (FilmDrunk)



Top 10 Sexiest Movie Milfs (Heckler Spray)



Boner Jamz! Hot Girls in Sexy Music Videos with kung fu and explosions! (Dave and Thomas)



Sidney Moon peels herself out of her pink lingrie (z0d)



8 Ways To Make Your Pet An Internet Sensation (UPROXX)



A Review of 6 Axe Body Spray Scents (FunnyCrave)



Win the South Park Complete 13th Season Uncensored on Blu-Ray (The Bachelor Guy)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that toxic personality is equalled only by your toxic halitosis. Here's a toothbrush, dummy)

Our friends in DOKKEN hit the stage in San Antonio, and original guitarist George Lynch joined them for "Tooth and Nail":



There's some talk of all original members getting back together... one can only dream (sarcasm mode off).

speaking of semi-reunited...

Those guys in the almost reunited MEGADETH played "Lucretia" in Atlanta:



Who wants to place bets on how long it takes Dave Ellefson to get into a fist fight with Dave Mustaine?

From Heavy Metal to Heavy Hooters....

The legendary adult starlet Tera Patrick is itching to get out of her tight shirt:



This clip gets a lot raunchier but we don't want to go to prison... so click the link.

keeping with the big boobs theme...

Megan Voss is one of PLAYBOY's Busty Babes:



...Big Boobs. MILF... and that's that.

Ravishing, Raven-haired, busty pinup girl Violet, who has done several FOUNDRY CAMS videos for us, has a brand new solo site, and to celebrate, she's shaking her fantastic figure to BRET MICHAELS' new song "Lie To Me":






Click on Violet Right Now, and stare slack-jawed at her awesomeness!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Swing Set Faceplant, Pancaked Peugeot, TRON Legacy Trailer, Midgets at the Beach, B.S. Rozlyn Papa Sex Tape, Nashville Pussy in France

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(but your attitude stinks. You need an adjustment...with a hammer)

This young Russian girl wishes she NEVER got on the swings this morning:




and who the hell builds a swingset that goes all the way around in a circle like that?

The driver of this pancaked Peugeot 406 doesn't think there's anything wrong with a one-dimensional vehicle:




except for the fact that opening and closing that driver-side door is probably a real bitch.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The new trailer for TRON LEGACY is online and it's filled with warm, gooey, geeky goodness:



The digital de-aging of Jeff Bridges looks like it's going to be pretty badass. Fucking TRON, maaaaaan!.

Little People Big World Goes to the Beach (Drunken Stepfather)



People with midget fetishes should stop fooling themsleves and watch midget porn...not this TLC stuff.





The Bachelor Sex Tape is Total BS (WWTDD)



But if you're into Blonde girls and black guys...there's plenty of them online to go around.



Girl Next Door: Aubrey Leedy (Bullz-Eye)



Ashley Brookes has Legs and Looks and... well, you know... (FreakshowPlanet)



Get the Girl: Picking up girls at Spring Break/the Beach (The Campus Throne)



Iveta...weird ass name...sexy-as-hell body. Naked. Outside. (z0d)



"One For the Horse": The Birth and Evolution of the Modern Shot Glass (The Bachelor Guy)



Shay Laren and her massive breasts can't wait to get out of that dress (Dailyniner)



Chef makes cheese out of wife's breast milk (Asylum)



The 20 Worst Saturday Morning Cartoons (Heavy)



Brooklyn Decker For Bare Necessities (Don Chavez)



Best Buy Manager: Chat Roulette (College Humor)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you have to seduce mentally challenged young girls in order to get laid. Sad. So so sad)

They go by the name of NASHVILLE PUSSY:



But they're playing in France. We're SO not good at Geography.

PLAYBOY's Amy Leigh Andrews can't wait to get out of that pesky pink dress



Who needs all that pesky fabric when you can just go Commando. We're with you, Amy.

Priya Anjali Rai is the sexiest Indian woman we have ever seen:



Granted, we don't see that many Indian women... but Priya is by far the sexiest ... one... we have seen.

This fine piece of breastacular blond-ness is Bailey Kline:



Why are we showing you THIS photo? It's the only still-frame resembling "subtle" we could find.

In honor of Carmen's new solo site check out this old school FOUNDRY CAMS video we dug up:







CLICK ON CARMEN's BREASTACULAR BODY... like, umm...now.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Friday Links: Flings and Deviant Things, Freeway Flip-Over, RUNAWAYS Trailer, Mystery Mom Mammaries, Rihanna is a Bat, METALLICA on Violin, ANTHRAX in

Thank. GOD. It's Friday...Pants are officially OPTIONAL, boys and girls. Before (or during) the Oscars this Sunday, why not curl up with a married friend in a comfy bed?



You only live once... so live it up, whydontcha? Morality is for suckers.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(but the way your breath smells IS, so have a mint, whydontya?)

The dashboard camera was invented for one reason, and ONE reason only...




To capture horrifying accidents on video. Just like this one in Madrid.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The trailer for the new RUNAWAYS movie is online, and lookee...Dakota Fanning is all growed up:




Wait a sex...err, sec... she's only SIXTEEN? Great, we're all goin' to jail.

Whose exploitative Mom boobs are these? (Drunken Stepfather)





Rihanna looks like a big green Bat (WWTDD)



10 Under-appreciated Roles from Johnny Depp (Bullz-Eye)



when she's not melting down and crying, Shawne Lenee is pretty hot (FreakshowPlanet)



N.J. kids baseball league rejects gun dealer's sponsorship (Hugging Harold Reynolds)



Psst... Audrey Bitoni...your boobs are showing (z0d)



The Cursed LaBeouf Family Line (College Humor)



Cody Love LOVES being naked. See? See? (Dailyniner)



Top 10 Stoned Birthday Dog Photoshops (Heavy)



Human Smores Contest (Ego TV)



Naked Snow Woman Thrills Many, Offends One Anonymous Neighbor (Asylum)



29 Oscar Speeches In 2 Minutes (Comedy)



How to Destroy your Facebook Page (UPROXX)



The Chat Roulette Scavenger Hunt (FunnyCrave)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you never developed emotionally beyond the age of two. It's OK. It happens. With DOGS, usually)

TURN IT UP!!! BRING THE NOISE!!! ANTHRAX-style, that is... with the song made famous by PUBLIC ENEMY:



...originally released on Attack of the Killer B's in 1991. Yes, we're geeks.

Now, for the distinguished headbanger... METALLICA...Violin and Cello-style...



Catchy, eh? Yeah, probably why the band sold a bazillion copies of it.

The next time you feel like punching a Canadian in the face, just think about busty li'l Bryci here:



Without Canada, we wouldn't have Bryci and her huge boobs. Canadians don't all suck. They should put that on a sticker.

On her way to the prom... Ennie's boobs popped out of her dress... she must not have zipped it up all the way.



Fortunately that's now all that Ennie did on prom night. Thank you alcohol.

What's better than a naked Playboy Playmate?



Eh, MAYBE ice cream. Actually, if we had a naked Playboy chick AND some ice cream... that would be something.

Busty, blond, BISEXUAL Femme, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, fires up her fantastic body in this new clip with music by George Lynch (ex-DOKKEN) and our buds in LYNCH MOB:







CLICK ON FEMME's BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL BODY...and have a bib handy

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.