Sexy Teacher, Clumsy Thief, Replacement Drummer in AVENGED SEVENFOLD, Replacement Guitarist in SEVENDUST, Replacement Everyone in THIN LIZZY, Drunken frontman in LYNCH MOB, Frisky Mary Carey, Pantsless Brandy Talore

All this news about Charlie Sheen's drugged-up debauchery has us feeling a little lonesome.

Thankfully, there are cities full of women looking to have uncommitted flings with total strangers

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your hairline, height, and choice in clothing)

The world's clumsiest thief knocked over a lottery office in Brazil:

Now all the police have to do is find the guy wearing a raincoat and motorcycle helmet. That shouldn't bee too hard, should it?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but youre stench is pretty unbearable. Use deodorant much?)

Will Rihanna ever stop sexting? (Drunken Stepfather)

Monicca spells her name strange, but looks anything but stunning (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Bullz-Eye Car Review: 2011 Dodge Durango (Bullz-Eye)

Ivana watch Ivana get naked in the Grass (Dailyniner)

AAilya Love - strange spelling. Excellent hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the younger guys keep getting promoted over you)

AVENGED SEVENFOLD brought out (what will probably be) their new drummer in PA:

That's a hell of a gig if you can get it. Just ask Mike Portnoy.

SEVENDUST could be the most underrated, under-funded band to ever play in front of thousands of people:

This this them in Iowa, minus Clint Lowery, who is hanging with his new kid.

How many original members are remaining in THIN LIZZY?:

Eh, not many. One, maybe? Can you even call the band THIN LIZZY at this point.

George Lynch and the rest of LYNCH MOB covered for a very drunk (or so it would seem) Oni Logan in Denver:

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the world's first 90 proof singer!

From hard rock, we gently segue into hard nipples (no, not because of the frigid weather, either)

Our pal Mary Carey doesn't need much of a reason to get naked:

She gets horny outside... around pink flowers... in the kitchen... in the living room... in the bathroom... in the pool... in the garage... etc, etc, and so forth

Massively busty Brandy Talore is getting a special delivery:

...and by 'special', we mean the kind of delivery that requires a young lady to answer the door in her underwear. How come this never happens when we answer the door in OUR underwear? Hmmm?



...and that, as they say, is the way the cookie crumbles... Now go have a good cry and drink yourself unconscious

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

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Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

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We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Sport Bike vs. Car, DUKE NUKEM FOREVER, STRYPER and CHRIS JERICHO covering badly, Zakk Wylde on Californication, Mariah Milano and Mary Carey Showing off...again

Studies have shown that more women than men are carrying on torrid affairs:

...and this is bad...why, exactly? Exactly. It's not bad at all.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your breath, receding hairline, and attitude in general)

yeah, um... there's a reason for those solid yellow lines.

it's so you DON'T cross them and nail an oncoming motorcycle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your face makes us want to puke...)

Blood. Guts. Purple Strippers? Indeed. The trailer for DUKE NUKEM FOREVER has hit the web!

Yes, it should have been released ten years ago. Finally, it's coming.

Amanda Seyfried isn't nearly as repellent as we once thought (Drunken Stepfather)

You might actually know this one...if you're into the muscular girls.. and if you're not, then you'll never ever guess this one.

Zdenka... difficult to pronounce. Very easy on the eyes. (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye Interviews the cast and crew from "Spartacus" (Bullz-Eye)

Yurizan and Phoenix are getting awfully friendly...awfully (Dailyniner)

Jordan Brigden is the kind of gal we'd like to take out for a malted (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you keep getting passed over for that promotion, dickbag)

STRYPER brought out CHRIS JERICHO to sing some SCORPIONS... off key:

We USED to like Jericho. He should stick to FOZZY. STRYPER has a new album called 'The Covering'

Dingy-looking rocker ZAKK WYLDE showed up on Showtime's original series CALIFORNICATION...and played...a dingy-looking rocker:

...at least he didn't play one of Duchovny's girlfriends.

From bikers and bands to boobs and such...

Curvy brunette MILF Mariah Milano is peeling off her pink panties and you get to see it all:

There's equal amounts of silicone and flesh on that woman.

Our buddy our pal Mary Carey is out by her pool...again. She's feeling herself up...again:

We're starting to wonder if that's ALL she does. Hell if we looked like she does, we'd be massaging ourselves all day long.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now scram. Somewhere, someone is making more money than you are...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Chasing James Hetfield, Karissa Shannon Sex Tape Preview, Another Scott Weiland Rant, New Firewind video, Playboy's Anastasia Christen, Mary Carey Feels Herself Up

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but definitely not as bad as the looks YOU get coming up and down the hall)

We'd like to introduce you to a new game called 'Chase Hetfield':

It involves you and a few buddies chasing down METALLICA frontman James Hetfield on his day off.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Karissa Shannon's Sex Tape is Coming! (Drunken Stepfather)

...and coming...and coming...and coming... Thank you to the wonderful folks at VIVID for getting their mits on this video!

The Perfectly Executed Rocket Jump (Fork Party)

Heather Carolin is wearing a big ass hat ...and nothing else (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Leia Marie (Bullz-Eye)

Domino has Tattoos...and Big Boobs...and that's it (z0d)

Pizza Huh? (Knocking Off)

Kayden Kross wastes no time in showing you her no-no spot (Dailyniner)

The Five Weirdest PETA Campaigns (UPROXX)

Stan Lee Defends Your Right To Play Violent Video Games (Gamma Squad)

Kevin Arnold Meets Zach Morris (NextRound)>

40 Photos of Ana de la Reguera, Kenny Powers’ Spicy Latin Love Interest (BroBibile)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the closest you'll ever be to rock star status is singing drunken karaoke in a basement. Glug. Glug. Glug.)

You want to hear another Substance-abuse-filled rant from Scott Weiland?

OF COURSE you do! When he's not fucked up, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS SOUNDS GREAT, DON'T THEY?

Ever since Gus G joined up with OZZY OSBOURNE (who is on tour now - click for tix!) his other band is getting a lot more popular:

We're of the opinion that you have to be ON acid to understand the video, but of course we're not going to condone that behavior.

From Greek Metal to Canadian Boobs...away we go!

Playboy's Anastasia Christen is a 20 year-old brunette from Kelowna, British Columbia without outstanding 34DD breasts:

Seee more of Anastasia at WOMEN OF PLAYBOY... because it's a moral obligation.

Our favorite ditzy blond buddy Mary Carey is in the backyard feeling herself up:

Honestly, when you're sometimes-sober feeling yourself up in the backyard is something you do...Duh!!

Camerella is a naturally-busty, young, perky, beautiful young lady who has no problem taking her clothes off on her cam. She's also the kind of good sport who has no problem chopping up one of our old-school, over-sized Foundrymusic T-Shirts and turning it into a two-piece outfit. Thanks to Josh, Keith, and our friends in BUCKCHERRY for the song "All Night Long".



Click on Camerella's strategically-placed hand, watch the full-length video, then spend all night long chit-chatting with Camerella online on her cam LIVE!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Man Ruins Car Hood, PRIEST Trailer, Scarlett Johansson posing for MANGO, EXODUS and the Toxic Waltz, LYNCH MOB does DOKKEN, Mary Carey, Angie Savage, and Jenni Lee all do Naked

It's one of a handful of warm days, so why not head to the beach and pick up a sexy, lost, lonesome, MILF, bring her back to your place, and make her some iced tea:

and by 'Make her some iced tea' we mean get her liquored up and toss her around a motel room for a while. Her kids will find their way home... hopefully. Worry about YOU.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as the news you're about to get, fella)

A man steps off a city bus with his head firmly planted up his ass...

...and ruins the paint job on a fancy sports car convertible. Nice going, mister.

Does Paul Bettany LOVE playing angst-ridden religious characters? (Davinci Code, Legion)

Here comes another one in PRIEST.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Scarlett Johansson posing for MANGO (Drunken Stepfather)

But what you really want to see is... Scarlett Johansson's Boobs and Butt Shaking around on film... Damn you, Ryan Reynolds!

Best Birthday Cake EVER (Dave and Thomas)

Amber Jay has a badass back tattoo, but you can't see it until she pops lifts up her lingerie (Freakshow Planet)

The Office: Season 6 - Review (Bullz-Eye)

Blake Rose really likes being naked and playing with her pink taco (z0d)

10 Steps To Dominating The Marriage Killer Known As Fantasy Football (UPROXX)

Ash Hollywood Fellates the luckiest banana EVER (Dailyniner)

House Guests: What Would George Clooney Do? (Ask Men)

Teri Hatcher's Swimsuit Snapshots (Too Fab)

2010 SpoCom Hawaii - Booth Babes, Promo Models, Go-Go Dancers & Girls Galore (Sub5Zero)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you got passed over for that promotion...again)

The next time you're at a wedding, ask Grandma if she wants to do the 'Toxic Waltz':

Then throw on the EXODUS song. She'll shit her adult diapers.

OK, so George Lynch, who used to be in DOKKEN, and is now touring clubs with LYNCH MOB is playing DOKKEN covers:

It's the whole "playing clubs" thing we can't get over. Maybe it's time to take up bricklaying.

Saaay, who's that hanging outside the welfare office? Oh wait, that's not the welfare office. It's the free clinic.

Our favorite ditzy blond Mary Carey gets all horny when she rides her porch swing:

So of COURSE she has to pull out the biggest rubber dildo she can find. Why judge? We do the same thing.

Speaking of ditzy blondes, busty blond Angie Savage has a sequined skin-tight dress on (definition of 'class', incidentally):

She pulls that sucker out and cozies up to a very lonely vibrator. YES, vibrators get lonely. Sheesh. Where have YOU been?

From blondes to brunettes, we shift over to Nashville native Jenni Lee, who looks amazing in fishnets and heels:

However, she looks even MORE amazing OUT of them. Nude southern chicks RULE. That's in the Bible somewhere.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Sleeping Security Guard, FoundryToons Animation launches with 'Kitty Littered', JACKYL loves Strippers, LINKIN PARK loves Screaming, Brandy Talore and Sara Stone love their huge hooters, Mary Carey Loves touching herself

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you're about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

A Russian Security guard fell asleep about 4 feet away from an armed robbery in progress

We smell job opening! Well, if you're willing to relocate to Russia.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Drumroll... Introducing the very first original animation from the fine folks at gear-logo central...FOUNDRYTOONS... or FMTOONS for short

Meet Fuzz Buttrock and Hooks the Gorilla in Episode 1: Kitty Littered!

You can also watch it on YouTube


and as long as we're showcasing our original projects, let's give it up one more time for RETOOLED!

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED - totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.


See? We even updated the cover art... now click it!


Whose incredible ass could this possibly be? (Drunken Stepfather)

The 20 Hottest Celebrity Bikini Car Wash Photos (Sub5Zero)

Talia Kristin has 2 names, 2 boobs, 2 legs, 2 lips, 2 cheecks... youget the idea (Freakshow Planet)

Blast from the Past Girl Next Door: Sara (Bullz-Eye)

Chrissy Marie can't wait to roll around in the garden naked - watch out for poison ivy! (z0d)

The Best of the Worst: Wife Swap Edition (The Campus Socialite)

Someone tell Heather Carolin that her boobs are showing through her blouse. Ohhh, nevermind (Dailyniner)

Sweden Gets World’s Largest Drum Machine (Gamma Squad)

1st Pictures of Admiral Rihanna On ‘Battleship Alien’ (FilmDrunk)

5 Sci-Fi Series That Outlived Their Authors (Fork Party)

Photoshop's New PhotoBomb Tool (College Humor)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you're about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

Jesse James Dupree and the guys in JACKYL have an interesting new business plan:

They're not just sending out music to strip clubs, they're showing up and playing on stage WITH strippers now. You know, cut out the middle man.

How come Chester Bennington is always screaming like he got kicked in the nuts in every LINKIN PARK video?

Seriously, what's so F-ing painful?

By the way, LINKIN PARK's New Album 'A Thousand Suns' goes on sale September 14th:

and where do you THINK we're going from here? Yaaaay boobies!

Busty broads Brandy Talore and Sara Stone are showing off their large funbags:

You can watch the full scene in a li'l flick called Rock Hard 3.

our favorite sometimes-rehabilitated busty blond Mary Carey just HAS to masturbate before going out to eat:

We're very similar like that. We masturbate a lot too.

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunk Russian Falls Out of Trolley, FOUNDRY Retooled Released, GUNS N' ROSES - Late AGAIN, SLASH & FERGIE on Time! Mary Carey in a Pool, Daphne Rosen and Puma Swede Lesbian Awesomeness

Haleluliah and holy shit! picking up any sexy bitches on the unemployment line today? They're there if you look hard enough:

If you can deal with the woman being married - and honestly it's not that big of a roadblock...then you'll do just fine.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as horrible as the situation you're about to find yourself in, drunkard. Vaya con Dios!)

Once again we have alcohol to thank for an obnoxious drunkard falling out of a moving vehicle while yelling "Hooray!":

Now let's all digital camcorders and videotape our friends doing dumb shit!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Thanks to our production genius buddy Rich DeCicco and guitar virtuoso Rob Balducci, We present to you RETOOLED - totally revamped versions of those classic FOUNDRY songs.


See? We even updated the cover art... now click it!

5 Ways to Piss Off A Girl (Campus Socialite)

Celeste Star will brighten up any Room...with her boobies (Freakshow Planet)

Blast from the Past Girl Next Door: Sara (Bullz-Eye)

Savanah Gold has really big ...hair..oh, and BOOBS too! (z0d)

Lexi Stone can't keep her hands out of her pants (Dailyniner)

SpoCom 2010 Long Beach - Booth Babes, Promo Models, Go-Go Dancers & Girls Galore (Sub5Zero)

The 21 Most Cliche Dorm-Room Posters (Brobible)

John Cusack to play Edgar Allan Poe in 'The Raven' (I Heart Chaos)

Hipster Dinosaurs (Fork Party)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you're about to wreck the ONE semi-solid relationship you still have in your life)

After hitting the stage 60 minutes late Axl Rose and GUNS N' ROSES kicked off the 2010 Reading Festival:

please buy Axl's music. He needs to buy a new watch apparently.

...and staying (somewhat) in the GNR family, let's take a look-see at SLASH - who is on tour now (click for tickets) and Fergie from BLACK EYED PEAS played out on the Sunset Strip the other night:

Paying homage to HEART and sport fishing...maybe... with their rendition of "Barracuda"

From Big Guns To Big... Boobs...

Large-breasted Daphne Rosen is interrogating Puma Swede in this poorly-acted scene:

If you want to see the whole shebang (heh. get it? She-bang?) Watch 'BUSTED 2' online now! because you really need to witness the whole thing to get the full effect.

Our favorite busty blond contestant on 'Celebrity Rehab', Mary Carey wants to wish you all a very happy 4th of July:

yeah yeah yeah, we're a little late on this one. Who gives a shit? Look! Mary's Boobs!

21 year-old Breanna (aka BreannaRose) makes her FOUNDRY CAMS debut in this eye-popping topless video which features (of course) Breanna, one of our old-school, ripped up FoundryMusic T-shirts, and Breanna's outstanding topless body. You'll never wish you were a tiny white thong more in your life.
Thanks to Danish heavy metal band PRETTY MAIDS for the song "Pandemonium".



Click on Breanna's ta-tas...watch the full vid...rock out for a while... then once you're all done drooling into a bucket, head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Breanna LIVE on CAM!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.