Friday, February 25, 2011

MILF looking for a friend, Drunkard gets Racial (kind of), Drifing and Crashing in Russia, Ass in Leggings, Red Band PAUL trailer, SOILWORK's new video, CINDERELLA in Sweden, Brianna Frost



  • Your mom is taking provocative photos of herself...again. Can't say we don't mind.


  • You see, your mom's been on the market for a while...looking for a 'friend with benefits'...and we don't mean health insurance.

    THAT's TERRIBLE:
    (So is your face. Stop breaking mirrors, assface)
  • Stand back, folks... this drunkard is about to get all racial!

    If only he could REMEMBER what 'racial' means. Last time we checked, the word 'Kerosene' didn't fall under the guidelines of racist terminology.


  • Thank GOD for dashboard-mounted cameras...

    Honestly, how else would we get to see horrific highway accidents up close and personal -- like this one in Russia.



  • THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

    (unlike your contribution to society, waste of space)


    Ass in Leggings! Ass in Leggings! Ass in Leggings! Yeah. So? (Drunken Stepfather)

    OK, how do we give away a hint for this one? blah blah blabbity blah... CHLOE...blabbity blah blah blah


    Nessa Is Nice and Naked and Showing off her Naughty Bits (FreakShow Planet)

    Car Review: 2011 Nissan Xterra (Bullz-Eye)

    What kind of a name is XLCR MOON, anyway? We have no clue and we can't pronounce it (z0d)

    Brigitte Anne is blonde, beautiful and showing off her Boobies. BRAVO. (Daily Niner)



    I'M SORRY:
    (Sorry that the only friend you have is that bottle of Jack you cozy up to every night.)

  • Swedish power metal group SOILWORK is getting all mellow in their old age:

    ... oh wait, we were thinking of Johnny Mathis. Common mistake. SOILWORK still sounds like a fist to the face... several times.



  • If Tom Keifer from CINDERELLA wants to sing any higher, he's going to have to put his nuts in a vise:

    We thought it was 'vice'... then we realized that he can't really put his nuts into cigarettes or alcohol... get it? Vice? Eh, we finally do.



  • ...and we finally broke down and watched the Red Band Trailer for the movie PAUL:

    NOW we understand why it's supposed to be so funny. Any movie that references "Alien Balls" this much has GOT to be funny.



  • From Bands and Big Ass Movies, we move along to... ok, we get it... BOOTY! *blows party horn*

  • What is Caroline Pierce doing in a movie called BIG WET ASSES?

    Here's a hint, Chester. She's not baking banana bread.


  • The lovely and talented Brianna Frost, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos is lotioning up her chest:

    She must have very ashy skin, because why else would a gal rub so much lotion on herself?? Oh. Ah. Wait a moment. We get it now.


  • Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS... let's lookee here...
  • If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
    Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.




  • Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




    ...and that, friends... is how we say "Beat it, monkeybrain"

  • Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

    We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

    FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

    Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

    be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

    We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

    We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

    We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

    FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.


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