MILF in a Mesh Shirt, Shark vs Guy in Kayak, OZZY in a Hockey Jersey, Captain America Fest, POISON and MOTLEY CRUE madness, Natalie Portman's Naked Ass, New FOUNDRYCAMS, Breanne Benson

Look, Dude... if your mom is going to keep posting photos like this:

especially on her Ashley Madison and Facebook pages... you're going to have to deal with all of the strange guys at the door (us included).

THAT's TERRIBLE:
( Listen up, monkeybrain - you're not getting any smarter so pay attention PLEASE)

An enormous shark barrelled down on a guy in a kayak in Florida:

Normally he'd be shitting his pants; but not this time. You see, it was a BASKING shark, and the most it would do is suck on the kayak for a while

Now THIS, friends...is a shark:


THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, and fuse...which both seem to be shrinking daily. Wow, are YOU a catch)

We got a FEVER! And the cure is CAPTAIN AMERICA!

First to the movie; the new trailer has a TON of new footage in it and has covered our shirts with drool:

Of course, we'll clean our shirts before going out in public. Maybe

Next up, is the video game, SEGA's CAPTAIN AMERICA: Super Soldier, which has a new trailer:

This one, we'll play at home... so screw cleaning our shirts.

...and if you saw THIS version of CAPTAIN AMERICA, our hats go off to you and your cheese-tastic taste in movies:

Who the fuck is Jen Starger?

and why should I care about her cleavage? (Drunken Stepfather)

Ancilla Tilla looks great in Lingerie...and even better OUT of it. Eh, Gnome sane? (FreakShow Planet)

Friday Film Fix - Movie Reviews (Bullz Eye)

Kayden Kross should ONLY be allowed to make girl-girl videos. HOLY SHIT (z0d)

Lexi Belle spends WAY too much time in clothes in this photo set. That's just one man's opinion though (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your teeth are as black as your soul. Here's a few bucks. See a dentist, schmuck.)

Look who showed up in a Washington Capitals jersey! It's OZZY OSBOURNE!

Is OZZY even aware of what the Washington Capitals or hockey is? Who knows.

HOwever, they DO use "Let Me Hear You Scream" a lot, so I guess that qualifies him:

The IRON MAIDENS are an all-female IRON MAIDEN tribute band:

They play flawlessly ...except for the last few days of the month. Get it? Get it? eh? Nudge-Nudge.

The album covers look a little ...uh, familiar? Well, that's kind of allowed, we think.

Look! It's our buddy BRET MICHAELS trying to run away from his lame-ass interview with Access Hollywood:

Unfortunately, that had him chained to his chair, so he couldn't get very far.

Eh, he does have a new album and tour coming, so he might as well promote as much as possible, right? right? right? Eeeecchh.

Click it, fool!
Like I said, click it, fool!

Everyone needs an overhaul once in a while, and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, new girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what the lovely CARMEN did for Us latley:
The lovely luscious Carmen, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site CAM WITH CARMEN returns with this amazing video where you get to see her behind-the-scenes at one of her many photo shoots.

Thanks to ART OF DYING for giving us "Die Trying" and thanks as always to Jon for the editing.



Whatchoo waiting for, mang?!?! CLICK IT, FOKKER!

Anyone want to see NATALIE PORTMAN's naked ass?

There you go. It's from YOUR HIGHNESS...and this is even MORE Of her NAKED...Thanks Mr. Skin!

This is Breanne Benson. She NEVER shuts up.

She makes up for it though...when she takes her clothes off...which will redeeem most women.

You've all heard of ALEXIS TEXAS before, right? What, you HAVEN'T???

That's her. On the stairs. You know, the ONLY GIRL IN THE PHOTO?!?!? about to get ravaged we might add.

...and that, friends... is the way to fart in bed without your girlfriend noticing.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MILF upskirt, Police vs Young Lady, Captain America video game, Who cares about Vanessa Hudgens, Nikki Sixx, Bret Michaels, and the most boring morning show ever, Stryper does KIS, Lupe Fuentes does roses

If your mom keeps taking photos like this

and then posting them on her Ashley Madison profile... We may consider taking her out for a malted... on her back.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
( Listen up, monkeybrain - you're not getting any smarter so pay attention PLEASE)

A police officer gently lets a young lady knows who is in charge:

TRANSLATION: He Maces the bitch and throws her to the ground. Why does everyone seem to think they can stand up to armed police officers?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, and fuse...which both seem to be shrinking daily. Wow, are YOU a catch)

We know it's about six months old, but the trailer for CAPTAIN AMERICA: SUPER SOLDIER has us SO pysched

Come on, who ISN'T excited about this movie? Anyone? Anyone?

I don't care who this is.

She's Vanessa Hudgens, and unless you were one of the lucky few who saw her NUDE PHOTOS, you shouldn't care either. (Drunken Stepfather)

Janet and Melany are naked, drunk and trying to re-enact some album cover (FreakShow Planet)

Barry Bonds' perjury trial begins, but does anyone even care anymore? (Scores Report)

Mariah and Rachel are feeling each other up..as they SHOULD BE. It's a law. We think. (z0d)

Li'l Lupe Fuentes is covered in Roses...that is until her boyfriend Evan gets a hold of her and drills her into next Sunday (ha! didn't think we knew, did ya) (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your teeth are as black as your soul. Here's a few bucks. See a dentist, schmuck.)

Nikki Sixx and Bret Michaels were on Good Things Utah the other day promoting their summer tour

Being interviewed by the 'Milquetoast sisters' isn't all that bad... is it?

Both band's have relatively new albums out too:

...and STRYPER, straight off their WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BIBLES! tour (kidding):

Did a halfway decent job of covering KISS the other night in Nashville. Yes, Nashville. Enough with the cowboy references. Every band in the world is down there.

Boobies? Booty? Did someone say the magic word? Ehh, maybe:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, new girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what the lovely CARMEN did for Us latley:
The lovely luscious Carmen, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site CAM WITH CARMEN returns with this amazing video where you get to see her behind-the-scenes at one of her many photo shoots.

Thanks to ART OF DYING for giving us "Die Trying" and thanks as always to Jon for the editing.



Whatchoo waiting for, mang?!?! CLICK IT, FOKKER!

Where else but in the U.S. can Alanah Rae get an oily rubdown by a (supposed) masseusse and NOT call the authorities

We'll tell you were, chester...HERE. In the bestest country on earth...Granted that pervert has a police scanner and a good set of running shoes on.

Arianna Sinn is a gal with 34G-sized hooters. Do you know what those were made for?

Playing with. That's what. Thankfully, that's what this non-english speaker is all-too-familiar with.

...and that, friends... is the way to poop in the woods.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

The Ass Cam, Lemmy is a Cyborg, Kelsey Grammer is a dirty old man, Yet ANOTHER Jurassic Park Game, THOR is Hammer-smashingly Awesome, Emma is heavily Tattooed

What's a great way to stay warm this winter? Umm, go inside and light the couch on fire? OK, cool.

While you're doing that, surf the web and find a neglected woman to fool around with...after you're done putting out the couch, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

A few young ladies in Los Angeles decided they needed a little MORE attention paid to them.

So they strapped a camera to their asses and recorded all the people who gave it a stare. Bravo. Daddy never held you, did he?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


There's something seriously creepy about watching Kelsey Grammer suck face (Drunken Stepfather)



Hella has an atomic wedgie going. Thank God she loses her undies quickly. Bless you, child. (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Becky Payne is the kind of gal you just want to throw in a pool because she's so smoking hot (z0d)

Sara Clayton has her undies yanked up to her chin. That can't be good for her circulation (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

This confirms it. Lemmy Kilmister is a cyborg. No one can consume that much Jack Daniels and French Fries and still keep breathing:

Quick, let's lure Lemmy into a hydraulic press and smoosh him before he kills Sarah Connor... or something.

From Lemmy, we take a sharp left over to the Lost World... kinda:

It's 2011, and there's another JURASSIC PARK video game being released?

Looks great? A decade too late? You decide. There's something to be said for dinosaurs, though.

...and from game trailers to movie trailers...

We're trying to think of something shitty and sarcastic to say about Kenneth Brannagh's THOR movie...

But how can you say something mean about a movie that has HAMMER-SMASHED FACE?? Exactly. You can't. Move along, now.

...OK, that's enough of that. Bring on the GIRLS!

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Tuesday Links: Bass Player in the Bushes, Naked Billboard Dancing, Michelle McGee's Fridge is a Nazi, Cowgirl Mila Kunis, IRON MAN 2 Game Trailer, OVE

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(But your breath is. How's about we wash your mouth out with Bleach?)

The backyard heavy metal festival was going off without a hitch, and the groupies were lining up...




Then Rodney your uncoordinated bass player dove into the bushes, killing every ounce of mojo you guys had.

You know, sometimes you just have to climb a billboard in Dallas, get naked, and dance...




Who cares if you stop traffic? You gotta do what feels right.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The trailer for IRON MAN 2: The Gameis online:




We're not even going to lie. We already pre-ordered the game... because yes, we're THAT goddamn obsessive.

Mila Kunis is a Sexy Cowgirl (Drunken Stepfather)



and seriously Mila Kunis really should take her shirt off more.





Michelle McGee's Fridge is a Nazi (WWTDD)



And just in case you haven't seen them, Michelle Bombshell recorded hardcore footage on webcam... before she blew up Jesse James' life, that is.



7 Weird Things People Have Married (Asylum)



Girl Next Door: Melissa Melendez (Bullz-Eye)



Erica Ellyson is Everything you'll want in a lady...who gets naked...outside (FreakshowPlanet)



The 10 Greatest NCAA Tournament Buzzer Beaters Of All Time (Manofest)



Janelle Priego is doing Just Fine without her shirt...or bra...or pants (z0d)



Jake Gyllenhaal:Prince of Persia Workout (The Campus Throne)



Alexis Ford is the Cadillac of Platinum Blond Babes (Dailyniner)



Snake Lake: Behind the Screams (atom)



Release the Kraken! - mashups (URLesque)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your personality is more likely to get you shot than promoted)

When you need mellow mood music, let our friends in OVERKILL be your guide...



...in the exact opposite direction, because their stuff (as you'll see in this clip from Argentina) is pretty heavy).

Move over heavy metal, we have heavy bosoms to look at...

Sexy young adult starlet Faith Nelson (aka 'In bed with Faith) is dancing on webcam:



Dim lighting covers up a lot of hurt, but Faith is still a good British Egg with no morals.

Keeping with the big boobs theme...

Naturally large-breasted Jelena Jensen felt like taking her top off under the old oak tree:



her options were to either a) tie a yellow ribbon around it... or b) take her shirt off and masturbate. guess which option SHE chose?

Speaking of the big boobs, you all know Violet, dontcha? She's done bunches of FOUNDRY CAMS videos:



She's juggling her jugs. Get it? Get it? Wait. We didn't make a joke. Sorry.

Keeping with the cam girl clippage...

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

ROCK BAND VIDEO GAME CONTEST

LOOK WHAT WE'RE GIVING AWAY NOW!

ROCK BAND PRIZE PACK!

We've got some nice stocking stuffers. rock band t-shirts,

drumsticks, and stickers.

EMAIL US TO ENTER!

-Please include your full name and address!-

Rock Band Coming to a City Near You

MTV Games, Harmonix and Electronic Arts Kickoff Nationwide Tour

East Coast
11/27 Tallahassee – FSU – Union Green, Oglesby Union
11/29 Orlando – Full Sail University – Semoran Blvd & University Ave
11/30 Orlando – UCF – UCF Arena
12/01 Orlando – Best Buy – E Colonial Drive
12/05 Auburn – AU – Quad Dr/Student Union Bldg
12/06 Tuscaloosa – UA – Ferguson Center Plaza
12/07 Tuscaloosa – UA – Ferguson Center Plaza
12/08 Birmingham – Best Buy – Riverchase Village
12/13 Tampa – Best Buy – Grand Regency
12/14 Tampa – Best Buy – 6600 22nd Ave
12/15 Tampa – Best Buy – N Dale Mabry Hwy
12/16 Tampa – Best Buy – N Dale mabry Hwy

West Coast
11/28 Phoenix – Arizona State – Palo Verde Beach
11/29 Phoenix – Arizona State – Palo Verde Beach
12/01 Phoenix – Best Buy – W Thunderbird Rd
12/06 Austin – U Texas – Student Co Op Bldg
12/07 Austin – U Texas – Student Co Op Bldg
12/08 Austin – Best Buy – US Hwy 290 W
12/09 Austin – Best Buy – US Hwy 290 W
12/13 Dallas – Best Buy – Pleasant Pl
12/14 Dallas – Best Buy - LBJ Fwy
12/15 Dallas – Best Buy – N Central Expy
12/16 Dallas – Best Buy - N Central Expy