HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

The Ass Cam, Lemmy is a Cyborg, Kelsey Grammer is a dirty old man, Yet ANOTHER Jurassic Park Game, THOR is Hammer-smashingly Awesome, Emma is heavily Tattooed

What's a great way to stay warm this winter? Umm, go inside and light the couch on fire? OK, cool.

While you're doing that, surf the web and find a neglected woman to fool around with...after you're done putting out the couch, you know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

A few young ladies in Los Angeles decided they needed a little MORE attention paid to them.

So they strapped a camera to their asses and recorded all the people who gave it a stare. Bravo. Daddy never held you, did he?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


There's something seriously creepy about watching Kelsey Grammer suck face (Drunken Stepfather)



Hella has an atomic wedgie going. Thank God she loses her undies quickly. Bless you, child. (FreakShow Planet)

12 Great Shows that were set in and Around High School (Bullz-Eye)

Becky Payne is the kind of gal you just want to throw in a pool because she's so smoking hot (z0d)

Sara Clayton has her undies yanked up to her chin. That can't be good for her circulation (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

This confirms it. Lemmy Kilmister is a cyborg. No one can consume that much Jack Daniels and French Fries and still keep breathing:

Quick, let's lure Lemmy into a hydraulic press and smoosh him before he kills Sarah Connor... or something.

From Lemmy, we take a sharp left over to the Lost World... kinda:

It's 2011, and there's another JURASSIC PARK video game being released?

Looks great? A decade too late? You decide. There's something to be said for dinosaurs, though.

...and from game trailers to movie trailers...

We're trying to think of something shitty and sarcastic to say about Kenneth Brannagh's THOR movie...

But how can you say something mean about a movie that has HAMMER-SMASHED FACE?? Exactly. You can't. Move along, now.

...OK, that's enough of that. Bring on the GIRLS!

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Sexy Valentine's Day, Arrogant Biker, New WHITESNAKE and FOO FIGHTERS, Old VINNIE VINCENT, Angie Savage in a TuTu

To hell with Valentine's Day... we just found out that it's Mistress Day!:

What a wonderful concept! Now go get yourself a mistress. Or wait until next year, Chesterfield.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(So is your breath. Sheesh, go gargle)

Mee the world's most arrogant biker and the world's most irritated police officer:

How the HELL is going to talk his way out of this one.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(unlike your work ethic, lazy bones)


Say, whose massive cleavage is this? (Drunken Stepfather)



101 Singles with 101 Great Date Ideas -- Proof that all the good ones aren't taken (How About We)

Nessa is Nice and Nekkid (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Valentine's Day Gift Guide (Bullz-Eye)

Jessica Lynn is Just Awesome (z0d)

Jaime Michelle is Jammed into a tight outfit...just barely an outfit (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that the only woman that has something nice to say to you is that hooker you visit every week.)

Grammys? Shmammmies! Who needs 'em when you have a new WHITESNAKE video:

Is it just us, or does David Coverdale look more and more like an old lady?

Speaking of videos, FOO FIGHTERS recruited God, err... Lemmy from MOTORHEAD... for their latest old-school-looking video:

Who would win in a fight? Lemmy or God? HA! trick question. Lemmy IS God!

and just because we LOOOOOVE tooling on Vinnie Vincent, here's an extended Vinnie solo from March, 1984:

Apparently, one of Vinnie's most wonderful (sarcasm intended) was his inability to stop soloing during his time with KISS. Paul Stanley used to get majorly pissed off.

as long as we're talking about KISS, check out what CURRENT guitarist Tommy Thayer was doing in Las Vegas with STEEL PANTHER:

Oddly enough, he was playing "Lick it Up", which was released during the Vinnie Vincent era of KISS. Of COURSE we worked Vinnie in AGAIN. Why WOULDN'T we?

From big-ass bands, we saunter over to blondes with big asses:

Check out the outfit that Angie Savage is wearing:

Pigtails? Pink tutu and a leather corset? Perhaps she's dressing that way specifically so she can get rid of that oddball outfit.

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)

...and that, as they say is our way of saying "We love you"... now scram!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Fitness MILF, Vince Neil looks tipsy AGAIN, old ta-ta's, SEVENDUST beefs up the Atlanta Falcons, MOTORHEAD has a new video, DANGEROUS TOYS is milking the same material, Cynthia Bang Bangs, Lexi Belle and the Lucky Feather Duster

She's ripped, she's in fantastic shape... but she's oh-so lonely because her old man is always working late.

Now's your chance to make your move, bud... Hell, she wouldn't be posting photos online unless she wanted to hook up... well, that and show off her abs.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the amount of space your girthy ass takes up when you sit down. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday.)

MOTLEY CRUE frontman VINCE NEIL was spotted leaving Boa in West Hollywood looking at li'l bit tipsy with a few lovely ladies...

Big deal, right? Well, watch the video, listen to him slurring his words, and then jump behind the wheel of a sports car. Ahh yes, some people don't learn easily, do they?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Ack! Old lady boobs! We're almost afraid to ask who they belong to... (Drunken Stepfather)

As far as guessing goes... She hasn't had much skin time on camera... so that could throw a few of you.

The Ultimate Bacon Lovers Gift Guide (the Bachelor Guy)

Bullz-Eye.com 2010 Year End Music Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Sandy Summers will warm you up on a cold winter day...with her umm, boobies? (FreakShow Planet)

Wowee! We could watch Laura Lee get naked every day! (z0d)

When shawna Lenee isn't going batshit crazy, she likes to have girl-girl sexy time with girls like Ruby (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that your hefty carcass keeps breaking the lawn furniture every time you sit down.)

The guys in SEVENDUST were called in to beef up the Atlanta Falcons official theme song...

...and that's exactly what they did, dagnabbit.

Lemmmy Kilmister, his face bumps, and the rest of MOTORHEAD have a new video for "Get Back In Line"

The band's new album gets released in the UK this month. We U.S. pukes don't get it until January. The new tunes will put goosebumps on your face bumps.

Hey, more power to you if you can pull it off, because DANGEROUS TOYS have been milking the same few songs for twenty years:

Honestly, we'd think they'd be tired of playing "Teas'n Pleas'n" and "Scared" by now, but apparently not.

OK, that's enough of the high-brow (and yes, by comparison to what we're about to show you, that IS high-brow)

Mellissa wants to show Sammie Rhodes and Samantha Saint how to do the whole ballet thing...

...but the whole event degenerates into a bisexual ballet bonanza in NO time.

We weren't fond of it at first, but Cynthia Bang has a very bang-able booty and she's not afraid to use it:

What she SHOULD do is tell that obnoxious camera guy to shut up. He's reallly yapping too much. shaddup and get to the butt sex

her name is Lexi Belle and she apparently doesn't care who sees her naked ass because that's her, getting nude...on a balcony:

What's more is that is one very very lucky feather duster ... what we wouldn't give to be a piece of lint on that thing.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Get your Holiday Body Back, Uncle Ted Nugent Selling Crazy, Gisele, FOUNDRY CAMS and FOUNDRY - together at last, Joe Satriani is God, Lemmy is God, Mike Portnoy is Good, Lana and Dawson are very topless

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

The holiday season is just around the corner, and you can either look like this:


...Or you could get a little help from someone who knows what she's doing, and look like THIS:

Choose wisely, Chesterfield.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Old 'Uncle' TED NUGENT would seem a lot more sensible if he didn't sound so F-ing Crazy all the time:

Here's Nugent, kicking back on his porch, selling crazy to the Michigan news. Look at that face.

When he's not being nuts, he actually makes really great music... see?



Kim Kardashian is selling... toilet paper?? (Drunken Stepfather)

A job is a job, right Kim? Atta girl! Just like the 'blow' job you gave Ray J in that tape of yours a while back...just sayin'

Featured Model: Holly Lynn (Bullz-Eye)

Sunny Lane has a shiny landing strip...but not big enough for a plane. (FreakShow Planet)

Anita Dark and another clear case of "Shouldn't have even bothered to wear a bikini" (z0d)

Sophie Dee's Boobs make us want to breast-feed zoo animals. By 'zoo animals' we mean 'us' (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

His name is JOE SATRIANI ...and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

This is his new video for "Light Years away, off of his new CD Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

If you ever wanted to stare at a drummer's armpits for six minutes, now's your chance:


Drummer Mike Portnoy, who used to be in DREAM THEATER, but is currently touring with AVENGED SEVENFOLD, has a camera set up in front of his drum kit. Now you can drool over his sweaty armpits during every show.

God's greatest creation is probably women with big boobs. His SECOND greatest creation would have to be Lemmy Kilmister from MOTORHEAD:


We say this because two guys felt compelled enough about him to make an entire documentary about the man... and that link above is for the second teaser.

From Lemmy, we segue into Lickable Ladies... Nice transition, right?

Everyone...say hello to Ultra-busty Romanian Lana Ivans:

OK, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now because there's a LOT more of Lana to see... click it, dummy.

Don't you just hate when your workout pants are too tight? so does Dawson Miller:

She's out of those constricting pants faster than you can shout "Get Naked or I'll Kill Your whole family!" ... not that you WOULD... just sayin'

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.