Holiday MILF, ALL THAT REMAINS vs ROCK BAND, THOR Trailer, RAMMSTEIN in New York City, Shyla Stylez, Lana Lopez, and Valerie Rios

It's the holiday season. The season for giving... the season for treating yourself to a lonely housewife like lovely rebecca here:

Rebecca is all dolled up in her profile pic because her old man ain't getting the job done at home... amd that, friend, is why you step in for the assist. Get it? ASSist? ASS? Heh... umm, Booooo.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your general state of health, you elephant. There's a busy highway. Go for a walk.)

Can you play songs by ALL THAT REMAINS with your buddies on ROCK BAND?

Good for you... because THEY can't. And they wrote the damn songs.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Get your geek hat and drool bib on...the full trailer for the Kenneth Branagh-directed THOR movie hit this weekend:

oh the dates we could get with a hammer like that...

Ack! Old lady boobs! We're almost afraid to ask who they belong to... (Drunken Stepfather)

As far as guessing goes... She hasn't had much skin time on camera... so that could throw a few of you.

Your Ultimate Guide to Gifting With Liquor (the Bachelor Guy)

A chat with Henry Rollins (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Angelique Jerone...hard to pronounce. Very easy on the eyes. (FreakShow Planet)

Kimberly Smith leaves NOTHING to your imagination...and you won't mind at all (z0d)

PLAYBOY's Stephanie Olivia is outside playing with the sprinkler...and OOPS! She got herself all wet! (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you think you have a soul in that bloated body of yours. It's long gone, sweetness.)

German industrial band RAMMSTEIN played Madison Square Garden the other day:

...Not since Berlin in 1939 have their been so many people screaming German and fist-pumping. What? Poor taste?

Let's put an end to this high-brow nonsense ASAP...

Blond, busty and totally filthy Shyla Stylez is all class:

She's putting on...and subsequently taking off her black lace in a scene from one of her latest DVDs which we happily have watched beginning-to-end.

This luscious Latina is Lana Lopez and she's unloading her pesky purple bra:

Clothing is just so oppressive and Lana would much rather be nude...and we'd much rather she be that way.

Speaking of Latinas, this lovely one is Valerie Rios and she also has an objection to lingerie:

As you can see Valerie is all-too-willing to get rid of her blue lace lingerie ... it gets in the way of her diddling. Ours too, dammit.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

R.I.P. Greg Giraldo and Tony Curtis, How Not to win Portuguese Idol, BUSH is back, SOUNDGARDEN too, VINCE NEIL and ANTHRAX are still alive, Hustler's AVATAR parody, Carmen Kees, Michelle Monaghan

Hey-O! Call down to front desk and have them send up an army of maids:

This is the 'before' shot... the 'After' shot was filled with a few very sloppy married people. Adultery + Hotel Room = Time for Maids.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as your hangover breath. Here's a mint, deadmouth)

Rest in Peace, buddy. We'll miss you:

Greg Giraldo. Dead at 44.

You want to impress the judges on Portuguese Idol?:

You might want to re-think belting out that TRIVIUM song.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Top 5 Female Tony Curtis Conquests (R.I.P. sir) (Drunken Stepfather)

You're so never gonna get this one even if we tell you that she dated Brett Ratner for a while... See? You still have no clue who it is.

KRACKOON. A raccoon on crack. Duh. (HEAVY)

Recipes For Success #8 – Giving Back (FunnyCrave)

Oh her name's Amanda Corey...she's kinda... um, uh...wait, what? (Freakshow Planet)

Best Cheerleader Pics from NFL's Week 3 (Scores Report)

the 50 Hottest German Women (BroBible)

When the mood hits your eye like a big Pizza Pie...Alexis Amore... heh, get it? (z0d)

How To Beat up Bigfoot (Maxim)

Andi San Dimas has her whole hand in her...whoa. (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you'll be riding the coattails of your drinking buddy until you get booted out.)

Alterna-grunge sex symbol Gavin Rossdale has re-formed BUSH:

...and apparently A LOT of people care about it.

Speaking of Grunge, SOUNDGARDEN played on a replica of the CBGB stage at the Paramount Studios back-lot in Los Angeles:

It was for the GUITAR HERO: Warriors Of Rock release party. Hey Activision! Back up the BRINKS truck!

Kicking it back a decade, our pal VINCE NEIL tried tearing through one of MOTLEY CRUE's classic songs:

But the audience mostly heard clicking and buzzing noises. See, cuz Vince's voice is shot. Umm, yeah.

Hey... why not forget about that lame attempt at wit and pick up Vince Neil's new book?

What do people in New Orleans love more than throwing up on Bourbon Street? ANTHRAX! (uh, the band...not the white powder):

We'll always wonder what the hell that thing is on Joey Belladonna's head. It's not hair. It's some kind of feather configuration.

From thrash to ...umm...something that rhymes with 'thrash'

Those wonderful folks at HUSTLER bring us This Ain't AVATAR XXX:

Who needs expensive CGI when you have a set of rubber ears and a shitload of blue paint?

sexy Czech babe Carmen Kees doesn't need much of an excuse to peel off her bikini:

ooh! A Waterfall! Oh...no. here we go again. Someone get her a robe.

Busty young PLAYBOY babe Eve Jewell is making some office furniture feel very lucky:

Stupid lucky office furniture.

So, you like breast meat, do you Doc? Michelle Monaghan has a whole lot of it for you:

She left her dress a little...eh, "Open".

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wheelchair dancing, Biker Crash Caught on Video, Mystery Ass, bloated shirtless GREAT WHITE singer, Dave Mustaine plays Guitar Hero, New FOUNDRY CAMS video, Lia19 Skinny Dipping, Jasmine Black and Rye get very friendly

If there's one rule you should abide by, it's this: never kick a girl out of bed for eating corn chips:

Change the sheets, get a vacuum, whatever no need to ruin an evening of fun because a hottie got hungry. Adultery is for adults. Adults get hungry, dammit.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as awful as the situation you're stuck in, buddy boy)

Birth defects? Wheelchair Confined? NOT funny...

Flapping her arms non-stop while screaming 'Awaken it'? VERY FUNNY.

What's the great thing about Mounting a Camera on the front of your Motorcycle?

You get to capture the very moment you break every bone in your body. Like this schmuck.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Someone has a shelf-shaped ass...who could it be??? (Drunken Stepfather)

It's the kind of butt that may have been violated by Ray J on video... too much? Gave it away again? Shit!

Paris Hilton Can Fit LOTS of Drugs Where The Sun Don't Shine (New York Pudding)

Carmen Kees is the Bees Knees! (Freakshow Planet)

Music video directors who made the jump to the big screen (Bullz-Eye)

Domino's boobs are popping out of her leather jacket (z0d)

The 20 Worst T-Shirts (HEAVY)

Dylan Ryder wants you to ride her... get it? Ride her? Hehe (Dailyniner)

How To Explain To Your Kid You're Going To A Strip Club (The Noob Dad)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you now take orders from a kid younger than you. Bwahaha-haha)

So, you're in GREAT WHITE, and your singer is recovering from bowel surgery. What do you do!

You get a shirtless, bloated, singer like Paul Shortino to fill in... and THAT is Rock and Roll.

How difficult is it to play your OWN song on Guitar Hero?

If you're Dave Mustaine from MEGADETH... VERY, apparently.

From Rock to Racks...per usual....

What did the Busty Romanian girl say to the big-boobed Hungarian Hottie?

If you're Jamine Black and Rye.... nothing. They just made out for a while.

the lovely Lia 19 is lounging by the pool in a bikini:

but not for long, madam... she's out of that swimsuit and skinny dipping in no time. That's one of the perks of living in Arizona with a fenced-in pool.

Camerella is a naturally-busty, young, perky, beautiful young lady who has no problem taking her clothes off on her cam. She's also the kind of good sport who has no problem chopping up one of our old-school, over-sized Foundrymusic T-Shirts and turning it into a two-piece outfit. Thanks to Josh, Keith, and our friends in BUCKCHERRY for the song "All Night Long".



Click on Camerella's strategically-placed hand, watch the full-length video, then spend all night long chit-chatting with Camerella online on her cam LIVE!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Danny Trejo and 'MACHETE', Edward Norton and 'The Avengers', WARRANT and Some New Guy, KID ROCK and 80 thousand NJ Boneheads, Gianna Michaels, Angelina Valentine, and their oily torsos

Happy. Umm. Monday? Wipe thr crusties from your eyes, and politely tell the two married women on either side of the bed to gather up their things

Someone is bound to be looking for them, and the weekend of debauchery you just had is all done. Well, until next weekend.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

Will MACHETE propel Danny Trejo into super-stardom?

Honestly? Probably not. Will we go see it? Absolutely. Hail Danny Trejo!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Edward Norton Got Fired from 'The Avengers' (WWTDD)


Kim Kardashian's Butt isn't getting any Smaller (Drunken Stepfather)

As usual, we'll use the above photo as an excuse to promote Kim Kardashian's sex tape... You know, the one she did with Ray J...

A Guide to Disney’s Horrible Female Role Models (feat. Photo Evidence) (UPROXX)

Rene Perez is one Seriously Spicy Li'l Meatball (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)

The Incredible Bendy Bike (URLesque)

Sex Tips From Olivia Munn (Asylum)

Mary Queen. Rhymes with Dairy Queen. Her Bikini is awful. Thank God she's taking it off (Dailyniner)

Career Suicide: Ten Awful Celebrity Rants (Part I) (Campus Socialite)

Joanne has a GIANT new sex toy (z0d)

Sexy Women of the LPGA (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

Remember the hair band WARRANT? All of the original members are back, minus Jani Lane. Robet Mason is singing with them now:

Gee, who do you think the problem in that band was? C'mon... this isn't a difficult one, kids.

His name is KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ROCK!

He opened up the Giants Stadium BON JOVI the other day, and attempted to explain what "Bawitaba" means to 80,000 New Jersey Meatheads. It didn't work.

From Really big bands... to really big... you guessed it! Boobs!

You've heard of Gianna Michaels (and if you haven't, then shame on you):

This is Gianna Michaels oiling up her chest in a scene from 'Big Wet Tits 4'... *Applause*

Sticking with the 'Big Wet' theme, this is our favorite new plaything, Angelina Valentine:

Who must have VERY dry skin, because in this clip from BIG WET TITS 7 ...she's lubing up her chest with more oil than it takes to lube your old man's Ford.

From establised boobs to newer boobs... or 'noobs', petite, young Ariel Rebel is dancing in her underwear... much like you do when no one is looking:

only when SHE does it full-blown bisexuality tends to break out... and when you do it... the neighbors tend to freak out.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Singer Hit With Guitar, Chunky Gal on Price is Right, Lindsay Lohan's Noise Bracelet, New IRON MAIDEN single, ALICE IN CHAINS live, Lisa Ann on Miami Beach, Jelena Jensen goes Camping

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Kind of like your people skills. Way to interact with humanity!)

Jay from San Francisco metal band DEFY ALL ODDS took a guitar blast right to the face:

Judging by the speed at which Jay recovered, this isn't the first time that's happened.

Meet Carlin, the happiest lady (read: Water Buffalo) ever to Come on Down on 'The Price is Right':

We did some digging and Carlin won three pairs of Gucci Sunglasses. Way to overreact!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lindsay's Scram Bracelet Started Flashing (WWTDD)

Come on, girl...Sober up and start making those boobie movies again!


Holy Hiney! Whose almost-ripe booty is that? (Drunken Stepfather)

Andie Valentino is having a Butt-Naked Picnic. Who's hungry? (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Tonya Torres (Bullz-Eye)

Guy on YouTube Explains Why Swearing Is Bad, Mmmkay? (URLesque)

Cotto: Road To The Bronx finale and exclusive post-fight interview (HEAVY)

Sara Jean Underwood is in her Underwear... haha... get it? Meh. (Dailyniner)

Four Pervy Features Of The New iPhone 4 (Dave and Thomas)

We'd like to sink our hooks into Nikki Brooks... or just give her a hug (z0d)

You Became a Meme (CollegeHumor)

4 Awkward Situations for Men (with Helpful Charts for Dealing With Them) (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your complete lack of personality will prevent you from having any meaningful relationships)

They're about to release their fifteen studio album, and IRON MAIDEN has released "El Dorado"... a li'l taste:

Get those IRON MAIDEN tickets online NOW - you snobby metalhead.

The reunited ALICE IN CHAINS is still chugging along, and this is "Check My Brain" at Rock Am Ring:

Their latest disc Black Gives Way to Blue has beenk certified gold by the RIAA.

From Heavy Metal to Heavier Hooters... That Old Gag...

Direct from Miami Beach, busty MILF Lisa Ann is busting out of her green bikini in front of a creepy camera guy:

No flimsy fabric can hold those hooters back! ...and that's not all. you should see what happens once she gets inside.

Oooh! Let's go camping!

When busty brunette Jelena Jensen goes camping, the first thing she does before starting a campfire...

...fondle herself! Yeah, camping sure has changed since we were kids

Holy Smokes! Another beautiful webcam model shaking her ass! Whodathunkit?

Ember Reigns, the buxom blond bombshell who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site, has given us what could be her finest performance yet:


Honestly... do you REALLY need us to tell you to click on Ember's pic? JUST DO IT!

Great song. Great hiney. When you stop hallucinating, Go check out Ember's Sexy Self LIVE - online NOW

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.