Your mom is on a car hood, new TWITTER accounts, STRYPER is praying (again), Lots of Green Lantern footage, OZZY cooks breakfast, VINCE NEIL jams with STEEL PANTHER, New Gisele video

Let's remind you of some important shit, shall we?
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we abdut...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

We're not normally the types of guys to nitpick, but if you came home to find your wife in HEELS on your Corvette...

Would you toss her ass out? Cuz... you know we'll take her... our car is a piece of crap-ola.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as your face, teeth, hairline, breath...we could go on, but you'd kill yourself)

We thought STRYPER was done with all the God and prayer stuff:

We were wrong. Totally. This was in Baltimore. Poor Baltimore

Don't know STRYPER? Click that. At least it's a covers album.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your breath, which smells like fourteen acres of shit)

What's this? FOUR minutes of Green Lantern? Yeah, yeah, we know. It's a few days old. Quit busting our balls:
Green Lantern minigun??? YES! Oh what WILL those wacky Hollwood folks think of next?

Maybe this? Hmm?

Kelly Ripa has a wax statue at Madamme Tussade's...

We want to know what it looks like with its teeth punched in.

Zoe Britton and Avery Adams are nude, friendly, and they have purple appliances! (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye.com's 2011 MLB Season Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Sydney Barlette is from Houston... or so we gather from her shirt. (z0d)

Breanne Bensen has a flower in her hair and NOTHING on her hiney (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your breath is as bad as your voice. Here's the number of a good vocal trainer. Go wipe your ass with it.)

A semi-bloated VINCE NEIL joined the almighty STEEL PANTHER on stage in Las Vegas for a little song called "Live Wire"

Shockingly, Vince was hitting most of the notes... with the obligatory two hot blondes waiting in the wings...OOOF COURSE.

And in a classic scene from The Decline of Western Civilization Part II-The Metal Years, we have a rather lucid-sounding OZZY OSBOURNE cooking breakfast in his home. MMMM...bacon

We'll say it again... MMmmm...bacon.
BEST. DOCUMENTARY. EVER. Don't even TRY arguing this one.

Then guys in the reunited ANTHRAX cranked out a new song (well "new" in the sense that the last time they recorded it was with former singer Dan Nelson):

"Fight 'em till you can't fight 'em"? Isn't that a bit of an oxy-moron? Or do they mean, "Fight 'em 'til you die. That sounds fairly unpleasant.

If you're a fan of '80's thrash, there's NO reason you shouldn't have this video. NO reason.

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make cookies with a cement mixer.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Backyard Showering, Snowblower Burial, GOD Hating, HELLYEAH mellowing, Adult Stars networking on Network TV, Gisele fondling

Why did the Navajo Indians refer to the middle of the week as 'Hump Day'?

What's the point in recruiting a bunch of healthy young cheerleaders if you're not going to photograph them in their undies

We have no idea. Stop asking stupid questions and go seduce a cute neighbor. Mmm... showering in the yard.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your disrespectful mouth. Want the number of a good therapist, fella?)

Want to steal this guy's shovel? Go nuts:

Just be prepared to get your car buried a few minutes later. Take THAT, shovel thief!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your inability to take a joke IS, so lighten up pal)


Kim Kardashian is looking all fancy in Harper's Bazaar (Drunken Stepfather)


Kim Kardashian looking all naked in her most infamous spread...get it? Spread? Legs? Homemade smut tape? We KILL ourselves!

Sandy looks like Catwoman... kind of... but better (FreakShow Planet)

A Chat with the Cast of 'Traffic Light' (Bullz-Eye)

Kayleigh Elizabeth gets out of those tight latex leggings... or are they leather? Meh. We dunno (Dailyniner)

Ashlynn Brooke makes a football Jersey look better than anyone EVER (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't hang on to a relationship any longer than five minutes. Here's a gun with a toe trigger.)

DEICIDE have released a trailer for their upcoming album To Hell With God:

They're a nice bunch of Catholic boys. Why not invite 'em to dinner?

HELLYEAH is getting mellow in their old age... Wait a minute, old age? They're only on album number two... sheesh, relax:

The song kind of sounds like METALLICA's "Unforgiven" in the beginning. Quick! Let's litigate!

From heavy metal to... you guessed it... Heavy hooters!

Soooo... if you were watching ABC-TV's Winter Wipeout the other day, you may have seen a familiar face...and familiar set of boobs getting tossed around:

That's adult starlet Taylor Wane, using her real name Joanna DuTremble

The lovely Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS clips is at it again:

*Sob*... we watched Gisele grow up... right before our eyes. Oh, shut up for the love of God, you sentimental twit.

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)

...and that, as they say is the whole enchilada... now go ventilate your skull, you bug.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Get your Holiday Body Back, Uncle Ted Nugent Selling Crazy, Gisele, FOUNDRY CAMS and FOUNDRY - together at last, Joe Satriani is God, Lemmy is God, Mike Portnoy is Good, Lana and Dawson are very topless

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

The holiday season is just around the corner, and you can either look like this:


...Or you could get a little help from someone who knows what she's doing, and look like THIS:

Choose wisely, Chesterfield.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

Old 'Uncle' TED NUGENT would seem a lot more sensible if he didn't sound so F-ing Crazy all the time:

Here's Nugent, kicking back on his porch, selling crazy to the Michigan news. Look at that face.

When he's not being nuts, he actually makes really great music... see?



Kim Kardashian is selling... toilet paper?? (Drunken Stepfather)

A job is a job, right Kim? Atta girl! Just like the 'blow' job you gave Ray J in that tape of yours a while back...just sayin'

Featured Model: Holly Lynn (Bullz-Eye)

Sunny Lane has a shiny landing strip...but not big enough for a plane. (FreakShow Planet)

Anita Dark and another clear case of "Shouldn't have even bothered to wear a bikini" (z0d)

Sophie Dee's Boobs make us want to breast-feed zoo animals. By 'zoo animals' we mean 'us' (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

His name is JOE SATRIANI ...and he plays guitar better than you and everyone who looks like you:

This is his new video for "Light Years away, off of his new CD Black Swans & Wormhole Wizards.

If you ever wanted to stare at a drummer's armpits for six minutes, now's your chance:


Drummer Mike Portnoy, who used to be in DREAM THEATER, but is currently touring with AVENGED SEVENFOLD, has a camera set up in front of his drum kit. Now you can drool over his sweaty armpits during every show.

God's greatest creation is probably women with big boobs. His SECOND greatest creation would have to be Lemmy Kilmister from MOTORHEAD:


We say this because two guys felt compelled enough about him to make an entire documentary about the man... and that link above is for the second teaser.

From Lemmy, we segue into Lickable Ladies... Nice transition, right?

Everyone...say hello to Ultra-busty Romanian Lana Ivans:

OK, you can pick your jaw up off the floor now because there's a LOT more of Lana to see... click it, dummy.

Don't you just hate when your workout pants are too tight? so does Dawson Miller:

She's out of those constricting pants faster than you can shout "Get Naked or I'll Kill Your whole family!" ... not that you WOULD... just sayin'

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Gisele Dances Under Black Lights with FOUNDRY

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


You can pick up Retooled by FOUNDRY at the following online music outlets:
iTunes:


Amazon

Napster

It's everywhere. It's like herpes. Without the lip sores.

You can also see Gisele in these videos:

FOUNDRY CAMS: Gisele will never break the Chain
FOUNDRY CAMS: Gisele is The One
FOUNDRY CAMS: Lollipop Girls Rock Out To Framing Hanley
FOUNDRY CAMS: The First Noel - A Cam Girl Christmas Compilation
FOUNDRY CAMS: Gisele Shows off her new F*CK ME shirt and animal print bra



OK, now scram... don't you have music to purchase?

Motorized Couch, Alicia & Mocha on RateMyWOW, Drew Barrymore Doggy Style, Marisa Miller in FHM, SOILWORK and ROB ZOMBIE videos, SUCKER PUNCH Trailer, Gisele, Tyler Faith, and Teen Kasia are all sans-clothes

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not half as bad as your people skills)

If driving a motorized couch to class is wrong...

Then we don't want to be right...

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for LOAD MY MOUTH (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of MOCHA DELIGHT and ALICIA ANDREWS:


RateMyWOW: MOCHA DELIGHT
RateMyWOW: ALICIA ANDREWS

Marisa Miller is in FHM (the UK version). That Is All. (WWTDD)

...and because we CAN... Marisa Miller is Sans-Clothes Quite often. Well, scantily-clad at least.


Drew Barrymore Doggy Style in ELLE (Drunken Stepfather)

JEEZ, where have we been? did you know Drew got naked this much? You did? Oh, OK. We stink then.
25 Smokin’ Hot Moments In Fire Fail (Banned In Hollywood)

Jodie Starr is a bright, blond, busty, shining... bimbo. see, and you thought we were gonna say 'star' (Freakshow Planet)

Bullz-Eye.com Featured Model: Penny Mathis (Bullz-Eye)

Tire Slashing Scorned Wife (The Smoking Jacket)

Juelz and Jasmine are two busty brunettes who are awfully friendly (Dailyniner)

Comic-Con 2010: Slave Leia Cosplay Photo Essay (FilmDrunk)

Worlds Most Awkward Fist Fight (The Campus Socialite)

Roxanna is Debating whether or not to show you her cooch. It's a short argument (z0d)

Olivia Munn's Goat Impression Could Use Some Work (TV Squad)


I'M SORRY:
(but not half as sorry as you're going to be when you realize you have no marketable skills)

Screw NASA and their space exploration ROB ZOMBIE says "Mars Needs Women":

See what we did there? We took the song title and worked it into the headline...and ...echh.

Not only are the Swedes responsible for the Nobel Prize, but they're also behind the creepiest fucking music video we have ever seen, courtesy of SOILWORK:

The band's new album The Panic Broadcast just got released, with some killer packaging, we might add.

from tremendous riffs to movie trailers...

Zack Synder, the man behind those red-caped Spartans in '300' just released the first teaser for next year's SUCKER PUNCH:

Snyder has described the film as "Alice in Wonderland with machine guns"... We couldn't have said it better.

from Movies to MILFs...

Our blond busty friend Tyler Faith can't keep her hands off herself:

In fact Tyler pulls her bra off like it's on fire... you know, because she's impatient.

School girl videos are inherently naughty, but Teen Kasia's touchy-feely school Girl clip is EXTRA dirty:

Why? Because she's Polish, and barely speaks any English, so who knows what trickery is going on behind that camera?

The beautiful Gisele, who you have seen in many FOUNDRY CAMS music videos as well as on her own site Got Gisele, just can't keep her clothes on:

Not that we'd ever object, of course, because Gisele is the kind of gal who looks great naked, you know?

Holy. Moley. Our Italian a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS girl Dannie Gee or Danni G did a great job tearing up and re-working our old-school FoundryMusic T-shirt, and shaking her ass to "Kick in The Teeth" by PAPA ROACH from their upcoming album Time For Annihilation..On the Road, and On The Record:


Pick yourself up off the floor, wipe the drool off your chest...and then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Danni Gee/Danni G LIVE...and NUUUUDE (uh, yeah...we mean HER. Not you)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.