Runaway Crane vs. Police Car, Robust Redneck vs. POISON song, ALICE in CHAINS in NYC, OZZY in Italy, Ripper Owens in Tiny Clubs, The POODLES in tight pants, Sasha Grey topless montage, Big boob-fest with Shay Laren, Ava Addams, Leanne Crow, Jelena Jensen

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as your hangover breath. Here's a mint, deadmouth)

Runaway Crane + Minivan + Bus + Police Cruiser = Big Ass Mess:

There was broken glass and pointy things everywhere. Glass? Who gives a shit about glass?

A robust young, West Virginia Redneck belts out his version of POISON's 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn':

Somewhere, in the back of a tour bus, Bret Michaels is watching this and weeping. We know, because we sent it to the fucker.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Celebrity Flat Ass In Jeans Alert - Oh WHO could it be? (Drunken Stepfather)

OK, here's a clue: she doesn't show her can often *Cough* KNOCKED UP *cough*, but when she DOES... ooga booga.

Christiano Ronaldo's Girlfriend Is A 10 (Banned In Hollywood)

25 Awesome Things Made Out of Beer Cans (Maxim)

Anna Lynn Cruz cruises right out of her lingerie, showing off her outstanding Latina loveliness (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Wrenna Monet (Bullz-Eye)

Rare Footage of Kobe Bryant in High School Scoring 43 Points (The Hoop Doctors)

Mandy Lee steps into the tub and sheds her pesky, cumbersome bikini (z0d)

Possibly The Worlds Most Dangerous Theme Park (DJMICK)

If you woke up next to Susie Addison every morning, you'd never get out of bed. Ever. (Dailyniner)

9 Types of Fans You WILL Find at a Tailgate (The Campus Socialite)

The 15 Most Outlandish Wall Street Indulgences (BroBible)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you'll be riding the coattails of your drinking buddy until you get booted out.)

Those nice boys in ALICE IN CHAINS played Madison Square Garden the other night:

William DuVall's afro was visible from the nosebleed section, incidentally. you can catch Alice In chains on the BLACKDIAMONDSKYE tour with MASTODON and DEFTONES.

Our longtime pal OZZY OSBOURNE is on tour for the next 18 months:

No wonder he yells at his fans so much; the man is overworked and C R A N K Y.

Tim 'Ripper' Owens was plucked out of obscurity to front JUDAS PRIEST:

...and then Rob Halford rejoined the band and Ripper is playing clubs with really low ceilings in Austria.

So, you want to wear tight pants, makeup, and rock out with your cock out? You're probably going to have to move to Sweden to do it:

THE POODLES are living proof that you can still be a glam-rocking dickbag... in Sweden.

From Rock, we segue right to Racks...

Despite her brief detour into mainstream acting, we'll always know SASHA GREY for her day job:

That girl sure can take a pounding... see for yourself... on demand, fools!!

Naturally-big-breasted Ava Addams and Jelena Jensen are groping one another fiercely:

There's nothing like busty women groping one another to throw off a creepy cameraman. You should see what happened next... that God Frenchy shut up.

Keeping with the big-ass-boobs theme, buxom Shay Laren is allergic to gold fabric. Her bikini happens to made of...Gold fabric:

We don't want Shay getting all itchy so ... guess which article of clothing Shay parted ways with?

As if we haven't already given you more boobies than you deserve, Leanne Crow and her Giant Juggs are sitting in an awful egg-shaped chair:

The only thing that could possibly improve this clip is a whole lot of bosom juggling...which fortunately for you, Leanne does. All girl with H-cup boobs should be required by law to juggle their bosoms.

...and that, kids... is the end of today's information-filled update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Singer Hit With Guitar, Chunky Gal on Price is Right, Lindsay Lohan's Noise Bracelet, New IRON MAIDEN single, ALICE IN CHAINS live, Lisa Ann on Miami Beach, Jelena Jensen goes Camping

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Kind of like your people skills. Way to interact with humanity!)

Jay from San Francisco metal band DEFY ALL ODDS took a guitar blast right to the face:

Judging by the speed at which Jay recovered, this isn't the first time that's happened.

Meet Carlin, the happiest lady (read: Water Buffalo) ever to Come on Down on 'The Price is Right':

We did some digging and Carlin won three pairs of Gucci Sunglasses. Way to overreact!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Lindsay's Scram Bracelet Started Flashing (WWTDD)

Come on, girl...Sober up and start making those boobie movies again!


Holy Hiney! Whose almost-ripe booty is that? (Drunken Stepfather)

Andie Valentino is having a Butt-Naked Picnic. Who's hungry? (Freakshow Planet)

Featured Model: Tonya Torres (Bullz-Eye)

Guy on YouTube Explains Why Swearing Is Bad, Mmmkay? (URLesque)

Cotto: Road To The Bronx finale and exclusive post-fight interview (HEAVY)

Sara Jean Underwood is in her Underwear... haha... get it? Meh. (Dailyniner)

Four Pervy Features Of The New iPhone 4 (Dave and Thomas)

We'd like to sink our hooks into Nikki Brooks... or just give her a hug (z0d)

You Became a Meme (CollegeHumor)

4 Awkward Situations for Men (with Helpful Charts for Dealing With Them) (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your complete lack of personality will prevent you from having any meaningful relationships)

They're about to release their fifteen studio album, and IRON MAIDEN has released "El Dorado"... a li'l taste:

Get those IRON MAIDEN tickets online NOW - you snobby metalhead.

The reunited ALICE IN CHAINS is still chugging along, and this is "Check My Brain" at Rock Am Ring:

Their latest disc Black Gives Way to Blue has beenk certified gold by the RIAA.

From Heavy Metal to Heavier Hooters... That Old Gag...

Direct from Miami Beach, busty MILF Lisa Ann is busting out of her green bikini in front of a creepy camera guy:

No flimsy fabric can hold those hooters back! ...and that's not all. you should see what happens once she gets inside.

Oooh! Let's go camping!

When busty brunette Jelena Jensen goes camping, the first thing she does before starting a campfire...

...fondle herself! Yeah, camping sure has changed since we were kids

Holy Smokes! Another beautiful webcam model shaking her ass! Whodathunkit?

Ember Reigns, the buxom blond bombshell who you have seen in numerous FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site, has given us what could be her finest performance yet:


Honestly... do you REALLY need us to tell you to click on Ember's pic? JUST DO IT!

Great song. Great hiney. When you stop hallucinating, Go check out Ember's Sexy Self LIVE - online NOW

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Bass Player in the Bushes, Naked Billboard Dancing, Michelle McGee's Fridge is a Nazi, Cowgirl Mila Kunis, IRON MAN 2 Game Trailer, OVE

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(But your breath is. How's about we wash your mouth out with Bleach?)

The backyard heavy metal festival was going off without a hitch, and the groupies were lining up...




Then Rodney your uncoordinated bass player dove into the bushes, killing every ounce of mojo you guys had.

You know, sometimes you just have to climb a billboard in Dallas, get naked, and dance...




Who cares if you stop traffic? You gotta do what feels right.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The trailer for IRON MAN 2: The Gameis online:




We're not even going to lie. We already pre-ordered the game... because yes, we're THAT goddamn obsessive.

Mila Kunis is a Sexy Cowgirl (Drunken Stepfather)



and seriously Mila Kunis really should take her shirt off more.





Michelle McGee's Fridge is a Nazi (WWTDD)



And just in case you haven't seen them, Michelle Bombshell recorded hardcore footage on webcam... before she blew up Jesse James' life, that is.



7 Weird Things People Have Married (Asylum)



Girl Next Door: Melissa Melendez (Bullz-Eye)



Erica Ellyson is Everything you'll want in a lady...who gets naked...outside (FreakshowPlanet)



The 10 Greatest NCAA Tournament Buzzer Beaters Of All Time (Manofest)



Janelle Priego is doing Just Fine without her shirt...or bra...or pants (z0d)



Jake Gyllenhaal:Prince of Persia Workout (The Campus Throne)



Alexis Ford is the Cadillac of Platinum Blond Babes (Dailyniner)



Snake Lake: Behind the Screams (atom)



Release the Kraken! - mashups (URLesque)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your personality is more likely to get you shot than promoted)

When you need mellow mood music, let our friends in OVERKILL be your guide...



...in the exact opposite direction, because their stuff (as you'll see in this clip from Argentina) is pretty heavy).

Move over heavy metal, we have heavy bosoms to look at...

Sexy young adult starlet Faith Nelson (aka 'In bed with Faith) is dancing on webcam:



Dim lighting covers up a lot of hurt, but Faith is still a good British Egg with no morals.

Keeping with the big boobs theme...

Naturally large-breasted Jelena Jensen felt like taking her top off under the old oak tree:



her options were to either a) tie a yellow ribbon around it... or b) take her shirt off and masturbate. guess which option SHE chose?

Speaking of the big boobs, you all know Violet, dontcha? She's done bunches of FOUNDRY CAMS videos:



She's juggling her jugs. Get it? Get it? Wait. We didn't make a joke. Sorry.

Keeping with the cam girl clippage...

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Friday Links: Valentine's Day affairs, Convenience store brawl, WTF is up with Jenna Jameson, Megan Fox's Hot Double, Killswitch Engage Does Dio, Dave

OMFG!!!! IT'S FRIDAY!!! Start that Valentine's Day weekend off right... with somoene else's wife!



Oh come on, you've spent HOW MANY YEARS with the same woman? variety is the spice of life, friends. Go get some!



THAT's TERRIBLE:

A Boston convenience store runs out of Funyuns, and...




Fight erupts. Car gets stolen. Feelings get hurt...you know the deal.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but if you keep making that pouty face, it's going to stay that way)





Ehh, WTF happened to Jenna Jameson? (Drunken Stepfather)



Honestly, we'd like to remember THIS VERSION OF JENNA JAMESON. WAY hotter.





Megan Fox's Hand-Double is just as hot as Megan Fox (WWTDD)



...and as it turns out, Megan Fox is just as hot as Megan Fox.



Bullz-Eye.com's Costa Rica World Tour (Bullz-Eye)



Luciana has Lucsious, Lickable Lips...and Labia (FreakshowPlanet)



What is the Worst Saturday Night Live Film? (Gunaxin)



Alena is all you'd ever want...and a bag of PO-TA-TO chips (z0d)



Recession Leads to Increase Of Strippers (Smoking Section)



We'd Kill to get a Kiss from Kimberly Kato...Kinda (dailyniner)



Coco's awkward way of applying make up to her Dumper (Don Chavez)



Sextistics: Finally, scientists give us some info we can
use (The Bachelor Guy)



The Guys Love Stronganoff (atom)



An Interview With Academy Award Nominee Robert Forster (Yep Yep)



Ten Facebook Friends Everyone Has (The Campus Throne)



Cupid's Twitter Feed (Comedy)



I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that have successfully managed to alienate everyone who has ever tried to help you. Well done, fella!)

The guys in KILLSWITCH ENGAGE (minus singer Howard Jones) pumped some testosterone into the classic DIO track "Holy Diver":



The song had balls before... now it's got really BIG balls. Nice work, fellas.

How does MEGADETH deal with flying bras on stage?



Like a total professional, dag-nabbit. Shredding > bosoms.

Super sexy Twistys babe Valentina Vaughn is getting very nekkid:



...and believe you me, Chester...that ain't all she's doing.

Big-Breasted Jelena Jensen hauls out her all-natural 34F boobs:



of course, that's only the beginning...she gets all kind of filthy in the full version.

Who knew PLAYBOY Playmates did yoga?



It's probably not all that hard to imagine...that's Sara Jean Underwood, 2007 Playmate of the year. God bless her flexibility.

Our FOUNDRY CAMS girl Brooke made us a finger-licking video. Rob Balducci sent us his new track "Choke". Together, they look like this:






Click on Brooke's Body, crack a beverage, and forget whatever you had planned for the day. she'll be online when you get done mopping up.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Thursday Links: Failed Ukrainian Suicide, Awful Swingers, NONPOINT loves large Metal Discs, SEBASTIAN BACH in Italy, Aria Giovanni and Jelena Jensen,

THAT's TERRIBLE:

A Ukrainian man fails multiple times at trying to kill himself:




He's got a few more things to be depressed about now, we suppose.

Everyone meet Len and Linda, the most awful set of swingers you'll ever see:




Consider swinging with non-awful people...it's a much more pleasant experience.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but your breath is, so brush your teeth, yuck-mouth)



PENTHOUSE sex columnist tells you how boys and girls how to stay fit. (MuscleSorority)




Mary Carey leaving the gym looking homely.
(Drunken Stepfather)



of course...we're much bigger fans of Mary Carey's non-gym related, naughtier work...as we should be



Less Than a Feeling - G Spot a Myth? (The Toilet Paper)



Tiffany Toth will make you Froth...and you don't even need to get rabies! (z0d)



2010 BCS Bowl Preview (Bullz-Eye)



Her name is BERRY...and she is VERY VERY naked...outside, even. (Daily Niner)



15 Celebrity Camel Toe Pictures (FunnyCrave)



Lela Star has misplaced her bra... intentionally (FreakshowPlanet)



Happy Boob Year! (Playboy)



Bear Grylls and the Guano Enema (Warming Glow)



Four Terrible Things to Do When You Die (Gunaxin)



Sketch Of the Dead (atom)



25 Funny College Gameday Signs (Holy Taco)



2010 Cougar of the year AVN award nominees (pics are SFW) (Cougar Patrol)

WHOA! Did someone say 'COUGAR'?!?!

How’s that for subtle??? You’re lonley. She’s lonely. Whatcha waitin’ for?!?!

I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you think your grudge-holding skills could win you a Nobel Prize. If the Swedes gave those out, that is.)

What could be better than Aria Giovanni and Jelena Jensen in a girl-girl scene?



Nothing. Zip. Except for maybe watching the entire uncut clip on-demand...yeah, that might be the only thing.

Busty babes Maggie Green and Yurizan Beltran are having a Bouncing Bosom Bonanza.



It's all part of a bisexual love-fest that you can see in its entirety here. Busty Bisexual Bouncing Bosom Bonanza. Yeah, bitches.

Why do the guys in NONPOINT love playing in Wisconsin so much?



Because the locals give them unwieldy metal discs... Why else?

If SEBASTIAN BACH is 41 years old...



Is he still allowed to sing songs with lyrics like "We are the Youth Gone Wild"? Just sayin'...

The beautiful, busty, BISEXUAL Italian goddess Wanda from FOUNDRY CAMS is welcoming in the New Year with some tunes from our buddies in DIRTFEDD.








CLICK THE PIC TO WATCH WONDERFUL WANDA

Take a break from hitting on the lonely MILF next door, and recap what we added to the MEDIA SECTION, including:



SEBASTIAN BACH: 'Youth Gone Wild' LIVE in Italy

Maggie Green and Yurizan Beltran Bouncing Boob Bonanza

Awful Swingers Len and Linda

Kortnie O'Connor In Heels...and nothing els

Ukrainian Man Fails at Suicide

Aria Giovanni and Jelena Jensen in 'Private Dancer'

NONPOINT: What A Day LIVE in Wisconsin

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?


Zannel: FoundryMusic

Facebook: FoundryMusic

Posterous: FOUNDRY

Twitter: FoundryMusic (you can get updates to your cell phone here as well)

MySpace: FoundryMusic

NING: FoundryMusic

FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic

Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)

LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)

Wednesday Links: German Girl Falls, Japanese Manager Apologizes, Sebastian Bach Catches a Bra, Jelena Jensen, Aria Giovanni and Bryci fondle funbags

 

It's almost New Years Eve, kids. You know what THAT means, dontcha?

The likelihood that you'll wind up fooling around with your friend's wasted girlfriend increase drastically.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Fake or not, German girl falling off chair = ALWAYS funny:

We're not what you'd call "cultured" so we have no clue what she's saying.

This Japanese restaurant manager is apologizing...endlessly:

We get it. You're sorry. STOP bowing!

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:
(but your perma-frown isn't making you any friends, buster)

Nicole 'Coco' Austin has a body that is not found in nature
(Drunken Stepfather)

Katy Marie is muy bueno ...that means 'very good' (z0d)

2010 Bikini Model search (Bullz-Eye)

Avery Morgan's boobs are more than a mouthful (Daily Niner)

Wassup! The Adidas Originals Star Wars Collection for 2010 (Dave and Thomas)

London Keyes. Odd Name. Sexy F-ing Body (FreakshowPlanet)

Snooki Punch: The Dog Version (Warming Glow)

The Ten Most Surprising Deaths of 2009 (Gunaxin)

'Youth in Revolt': The Rare January Treat? (Inside Movies)

The 25 Funniest Moments In Vandalism History (Manofest)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you think your IQ has increased with your ego. Nope. You're STILL an idiot.)

Buxom brunette adult starlet Jelena Jensen is flinging off her black leather bra.

No sense in keeping that oppressive clothing on, right?

Speaking of buxom ladies, ass-tastic Aria Giovanni is fondling her funbags under the Christmas tree:

Some families leave cookies under the XMAS tree. Some like to leave Aria Giovanni

Aging headbanger and middle-aged metalhead Sebastian Bach pulls out the "Big Guns" in Moscow.

...and makes an unintentional bra-catch in the process.

From bands to a busty gal named Brycim we learn the most inefficient way to drink a glass of milk:

You're spilling it, missy! Oh man, someone get a mop.

Ho, Ho, Holy shit! It's time for another FOUNDRY CAMS Christmas compilation! We turned to our pal GARY HOEY, who gave us "Deck The Halls" to use in this clip, and then we got some amazing Holiday-themed videos from Shanelle, Countess, Alanna, Layla, Wanda, and Jessica Klein. We mashed 'em together and got this great Christmas video, loaded with hot cam-babe asses.

CLICK THE PIC AND ENJOY SOME HOLIDAY HINEYS!

(and now to recap, because we can't remember five seconds ago, let alone five minutes)

Chop Chop! the lonely hot MILF next door is lonely, so spend some time with her, and then curl up in front of the MEDIA SECTION, where you'll find:

SEBASTIAN BACH catches a Bra (unintentionally) on stage in Moscow
Jelena Jensen Breaks free from her Black Leather Bra
Japanese Restaurant Manager Apologizes Endlessly
Aria Giovanni's Topless Christmas
Singing German Girl Falls Off Chair
Bryci Pours milk all over her huge boobs

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?

Zannel: FoundryMusic
Facebook: FoundryMusic
Posterous: FOUNDRY
Twitter: FoundryMusic (you can get updates to your cell phone here as well)
MySpace: FoundryMusic
NING: FoundryMusic
FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic
Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)
LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)

 

Posted via web from foundry's posterous