HUGE update for people looking to waste a PILE of time: Trick Or Treat Trailer, OZZY on Sobriety, Carmen's Cans, Zakk Wylde on American Idol, Lemmy on stage with SLASH

and now for a close-up of the late Lon Chaney's testicles...you know you want to see it.


Yo mang! Whassup! This be some coo' shizz, yo
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right? and YES, we DO follow you. To the post office, to the grocery store, etc...
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we keep in cages...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Your mom is SO fed up with your old man's antics that she's pushing his Mustang into a pond:

How do we know this? we found it in her personal ad... Hell hath no fury, dude.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

Here are some prophetic words of wisdom from a once non-sober OZZY OSBOURNE:

Yes, it does indeed S U C K. Unless you think getting out of bed to make poo is gross.

Amazing documentary. Highly reccommended. Yes, by US. Sheesh.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

and now, the movie that proved that playing your records backwards was ALWAYS a bad idea - TRICK OR TREAT

You know Skippy from FAMILY TIES was in this, right? Oh yeah, Gene Simmons and OZZY OSBOURNE too.

Yes, playing your records backwards raises dead rock stars from the dead. God, do we have to explain it all?.

Jennifer Lawrence ... is umm... not related to Martin Lawrence or Joey Lawrence:

In fact, we have no F-ing idea who she is. So there.

Nevaeh. Raina Lee. Touching Tongues. That is all. Resume clicking (FreakShow Planet)

2011 Volvo S60 T6 AWD Car Review (Bullz-Eye)

5 More Rom-Com Sequels We'd Like to See (After When Harry Met Sally 2) (How About We)

I'm Ashamed to be a Boston Sports Fan (MadeMan)

lisa Niels is wearing pants that don't fit. Thankfully she doesn't keep them on for long (z0d)

Sandee Westgate has brown hair and a big-ass tattoo on her ribs. When did this shit happen? (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Anyone see a little show called American Idol last night?

You should check it out. See, it's like a talent show / karaoke contest. There's celebrity judges... oh yeah, and ZAKK F*CKING WYLDE.

Zakk has a little band thing he does on the side...sha-boom.

The fact that Johnny Solinger from SKID ROW can cook is fairly... uhhh, meh.

The fact that he can chug a bottle of tequila near a hot stove and open flame? NOw THAT folks, is entertainment!

See, Johnny is the guy who came into the band after they re-formed...he's not Sebastian Bach, but that has more to do with D.N.A., you know?

Yes, that's Lemmy from MOTORHEAD and his prune-sized liver on stage with SLASH in Argentina.

Does the ol' Lem even HAVE a liver anymore? Sucker drinks an awful lot of Jack Daniels, yaknowwhatImean, mang?

If you haven't seen the Lemmy movie yet, then ... well, you're just a doo-doo brain. Yup. I said it. Doo-Doo brain.

We just thought this was some cool video, so we put it up.

Well, that and we thought a testicle-angle video of Corey Taylor from STONE SOUR was good enough to post.

Someone asked me if I had the new STONE SOUR disc the other day. I yelled "Yes!"...and then slapped him with a fresh haddock.

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What is it with girls like Danni Kaliforniaand these enormous bottles of baby oil?

Is their skin that scaly? It certainly must be, because they use an awful lot of it.

our girl Carmen who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos... made um...this:

You can catch Carmen each and every night LIVE at FOUNDRY CAMS! ...aaaaaand roll credits.

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS, we felt it needed a facelift, so we made a whole nifty new page at over here now...

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make salsa in woodchipper.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Mami Culo Bueno, New PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN trailer, J-WOWW is an author? Pissing off a cop, Old Farts gone Wild, TM Stevens and Ridiculous bass playing

Yo, homes...we're not saying your mom's got a nice butt...

but based on the those photos she's posting online... We sure as hell are THINKING it!

THAT's TERRIBLE:
( Listen up, monkeybrain - you're not getting any smarter so pay attention PLEASE)

peeling out in front of a cop...

is a GREAT way to get an express ticket to jail... so would you knock it off...please?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, and fuse...which both seem to be shrinking daily. Wow, are YOU a catch)

The new trailer for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: On STRANGER TIDES doesn't make us miss Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom one bit

You've got your Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, and your Keith Richards...who else do you need?

J-WOWW is a best selling author

Someone fucking shoot me. (Drunken Stepfather)

Eufrat has a name that youd associate with a big fat person... but she's anything BUT (FreakShow Planet)

The Top 5 Health & Fitness Myths (Bullz-Eye)

Nika and Sophia are REALLY REALLY friendly...and that is NEVER a bad thing. (z0d)

Keylee Parker andn her friend are having happy nake fun time! (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your teeth are as black as your soul. Here's a few bucks. See a dentist, schmuck.)

If SKID ROW is still singing "Youth Gone Wild" after 20 years...

Wouldn't that make them "Old farts gone wild"? Just sayin'.

...and now for an out-of-control bass guitar solo, courtesy of TM STEVENS:

Fucker is GOOD, but come on, man...some people have jobs to go to in the morning.

Boobies? Booty? Did someone say the magic word? Ehh, maybe:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, new girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what the lovely CARMEN did for Us latley:
The lovely luscious Carmen, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site CAM WITH CARMEN returns with this amazing video where you get to see her behind-the-scenes at one of her many photo shoots.

Thanks to ART OF DYING for giving us "Die Trying" and thanks as always to Jon for the editing.



Whatchoo waiting for, mang?!?! CLICK IT, FOKKER!

Who wants to see what Lexi Belle is up to lately? Looks like about ten sit-ups!!

Shake a tail-feather, honey Asses like that take WORK...Crunch! GRRRR! Crunch!!! GRRR!!.

and of course Jynx Maze needs NO help making her arse look fantastic

except for maybe that cameraman. Take a hike, dude..

...and that, friends... is the way to poop in the woods.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Russian Cop Vs. Wolves, SLASH does old school GNR, SEBASTIAN BACH does old school SKID ROW, New MURDERDOLLS video, Priya Anjali Rai, Bridgette B, and Leanne Crow show off their goods

Hi ho, Hi ho, Fornacatin' We Will Go... just turn your secrectary into a ho...

A ho, A ho, A ho, A ho if your actual secretary looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal then BONUS! You're going to have a fun day, friend.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but the size of your clothing keeps increasing, and that's pretty upsetting, dontcha think?)

A Russian police office dove into a suspect's car to evade a pack of wolves (no bullshit):

"License and Registration, madam...OH SHIT! WOLVES!".

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Holy Shmoley! Whose ass in jeans is THIS? (Drunken Stepfather)

Her name is Sophie Turner, and ten bucks says you can find lots of naked pics of her

Avril Lavigne looking hotter than usual (Maxim)

Modern Flames: 40 Contemporary Fireplace Designs (DesignCrave)

Ryana Daniels is busty chocolate kiss (Freakshow Planet)

New Addiction: Your Mom Was Hot.. dot com (TheBachelorGuy)

Blast from the Past: Brittany Myers (Bullz-Eye)

Koopa gets a star (Dorkly)

Dylan Ryder and her friend are awfully fond of one another (z0d)

Mariah Madysinn is very proud of her boobs. Look at the way she shows them off! (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you get winded walking from your car to the front door. Here's a treadmill. Happy birthday)

Our pal SEBASTIAN BACHmay be an old fart, but he still sings like a young... fart:

He's just an old man gone wild...

Another chumley of ours, the one and only SLASH has added "Welcome to The Jungle" to his current touring set list:

Somewhere in Portugal, Axl Rose is making an audience wait...for a while.

Slash is on the road promoting Slash - The 2 CD/DVD Deluxe Edition, and if you haven't picked it up yet, you might have tumors:

Moving to the slightly twisted those odd looking boys in MURDERDOLLS just released their video for "Chapel of Blood":

Guy in a gimp suit, girl getting molested... yeah, it's out there alright.

Those goons are out promoting Women And Children Last, which sounds like a friendly title, doesn't it?


From rock, we segue gently... or not-so gently... to RACKS!

Beautiful blond Bridgette B. is 130 lbs (mostly boobs) of pure awesome:

...and she's got electric tape all over her nips. They must be leaky. oh wait, that's not the case at all. She's a dirty girl, ain't she?

Speaking of boobs busty British bombshell Leanne Crow is wearing a bikini that's about 8 sizes too small

Off with you, flimsy fabric! make way for Leanne's massive love bombs!

Exotic Indian Goddess Priya Anjali Rai is having her way with the luckiest Sybian EVER

Lucky piece of machinery who knew you could do THIS on a Sybian? Apparently SHE did.

Our friends in PAPA ROACH, who just released Time For Annihilation..On the Record, and On The Road gave us their song "Burn".
We had our own Nina from FOUNDRY CAMS tear up a FoundryMusic Shirt and make us a spank-tastic video:



Click on Nina's Cleavage to check out her Smokin' Hot Body...and then some.

Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Nina LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Drunken Finnish Pronunciation, More Mel Gibson Audio Goodness, Katie Price's New Face, ANTHRAX and SLAYER jam AC/DC, SKID ROW in Minnesota, Caroline Cage Loves Soccer, and Dominno Loves Bananas

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

And now, a drunk, toothless Finnish man is going to demonstrate how to properly prounounce American auto names:

Ahh, so THAT's how you pronounce "Chrysler". We were doing it wrong the whole time.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Whoopi Defends Mel Gibson (WWTDD)

ooh lookie! There's a THIRD Mel Gibson Audio Clip online! (Radar Online)


Katie Price Shows Off Her New Face (Drunken Stepfather)

Personally, we're fans of The good old Katie Price Sex Tape... otherwise we'd have no idea who she is.

19 Facts You May Not Have Known About the 'Star Wars' Universe (Asylum)

Eight Inexpensive Things Repurposed for Something Awesome (UPROXX)

Veronica Ricci must have an Itchy Bra... because she pulls it off very quickly (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)

Video: Terrell Owens Gets Dunked On At The Rucker Park In Harlem (Real Talk NY)

Crazy Costco Charlie Will Make You Sample His Samples, Like it or Not (URLesque)

How To Fix Your Mom’s Computer Over the Phone (Flowchart) (Windowless Van)

Heather Vandeven is pulling back her Bikini and touching herself on a lucky inflatable chair (Dailyniner)

The Empire Strikes Back in MS Paint [GIF] (egoTV)

Alena and Anna Get Awfully Friendly and Frisky Awfully Quickly (z0d)

How To Propose to Your Girlfriend (FunnyCrave)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

So. Very. Metal. ANTHRAX and SLAYER, who will be touring together on the AMERICAN CARNAGE tour jammed backstage in Europe on some classic AC/DC:

...and on vocals... Dave Mustaine's guitar tech Willie G. Wait, who? Exactly.

Our friends in SKID ROW are touring non-stop (click for tickets and tour dates), and here's a gig in Oakdale, Minnesota (wait, where?):

This is what happens when you play "Monkey Business for the billionth time, apparently. You do a massive guitar breakdown in the middle of the song.

From relatively big bands... to relatively bouncing...boobs:

We've shown you sexy Czech babe Dominno before:

But this is the first time (to our knowledge) that she's fellating a banana... lucky banana.

Her name is Caroline Cage, and she's a huge Soccer fan... so huge, that in honor of the World Cup, she's painted herself up like the Dutch soccer team:

Once she's done giving that soccer ball a rim job ...she's going to be cleaning paint out of her cooter for a month.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Holiday MILF Party, Skateboard vs. Stairs, DOKKEN reunion in Anaheim, SKID ROW on a Cruise, Lesbian Pillowfight, Public Flashing with Nikki

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