Tuesday Links: Driver vs. Rockslide, 10 ft Unicycle fail, Big Boobs get a gal a job, Kirstie Alley = Swamp Thing, New Bullet for my Valentine,New RATT

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(So is your smile. Keep your mouth shut, or risk having all of your teeth chisled out)

53 year-old Ralph + 10 ft tall Unicycle = 5 seconds of pure hilarity




Why is Ralph's old ass on a unicycle anyway?

Want to see the world's most oblivious man drive straight into the most obvious Rockslide?




of COURSE you do. Why else you dicking around here?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:





Somebody's great big new boobs landed her a movie role (Drunken Stepfather)



Gee, Whoooo could it be? maybe someone who wasn't that famous to begin with? Eeeeeyah. Probably.





Holy Shit! SWAMP THING is REAL! (WWTDD)



Wait wait...no. Sorry. it's just Kirstie Alley. Sheesh. Remember when she was hot?



Need help filling out your March Madness bracket? (Scores Report)



Rachel Roxxx rocks the big booty (FreakshowPlanet)



Attn Nerdy Poker Fans: How to play online poker with your Rock Band instruments (The Bachelor Guy)



Sigrid has an awful name...but awfully nice nubs (z0d)



The Corned Beef and Cabbage Cocktail. You know, for St. Patty's Day (The Bachelor Guy)



Bianca Beauchamp has big boobs, an amazing booty, and umm... what were we saying? (Dailyniner)



Superhero De-motivational Posters (Gunaxin)



65 Craziest Basketball Fans (Comedy)



The 10 Funniest Public Access Prank Calls Of All Time (Manofest)



Homemade Rocket Fuel is AWESOME (TodaysBigThing)



Jean-Claude Van Dance (Guyism)



The 20 Worst TV News Fails (HEAVY)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your breath stinks like booze, and your hair smells like old man breath. Repress much?)

Them wacky Welsh fellas in BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE have released the video for "The Last Fight":



The band's new disc, Fever will be out in late April.

as long as we're talking new music, here's a track from RATT's latest disc:


Oooh, that song is just jam-packed with warm, gooey, 80's goodness. Infestation will be out later in April.

From headbangers, we move on to knob gobblers...

our old gal-pal Shay Laren is modeling the tiniest bikini on the ugliest sofa:



Why are we paying attention to the sofa? 1. It's ugly. 2. When you see as much hardcore nudity as we do, you tend to notice OTHER things.

What are the odds of having another video of another girl named Shay on the same day?



Eh, pretty slim... we could have held off till tomorrow to post this clip, but Shay Malone couldn't wait to be gawked at.

Toned, tall Tori Black is ANYTHING but tame...



In fact, she's pretty tawdry in the full uncut clip... and that is one LUCKY vibrator.

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Thursday Links: Crappy Grenade Throwing, Nicole Richie is a Zombie, Kirstie Alley is *gasp* Large, SLASH plays the Blues, SIXX AM, Brianna is falling

THAT's TERRIBLE:

This soldier SUCKS at throwing grenades...




Betcha he gets picked last every time for "who wants to be in MY foxhole"...

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(but the pool still has leaves all over it. Skim it AGAIN, boy!)





Holy Shit! Zombies! Oh..wait. It's Nicole Richie (Drunken Stepfather)



You get ONE guess...and you'll be kicking yourself if you don't get it right





OMG. What is that? (WWTDD)



like ummm... remember when she looked like THIS???



2010 Lamborghini Murciélago Rev-Air Roadster...and a hot-ass Bikini Babe (Bullz-Eye)



Jayden Cole is the naughtiest teacher you'd ever want to stay after class with (FreakshowPlanet)



Dirty Dozen: College Girls at Their Best (The Campus Throne)



Leggy Rebecca Lynn Likes to lose her Lingerie (z0d)



Detroit bans lap dances in strip clubs; let the exodus begin (Guyism)



Roxanna...you don't have to put on your pink robe... get it? Police song? Roxanne? echh (Dailyniner)



How To Keep Your Grandparents Safe Online (UPROXX)



Tim Burton Remakes "Weekend At Bernie's (Babelgum)



Self-Correcting Dominos? So Awesome. (Today's Big Thing)



Biblical Mushroom Trip (atom)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your lack of a basic skill set will have you sucking off others for years to come.)

The one and only SLASH from GNR and VELVET REVOLVER is jamming on some classic BB King in Sherman Oaks:



He's also apparently trying to quit smoking by chewing on guitar picks.

and because we fucking feel like it, here's a video by Nikki Sixx's band, SIXX AM:



"Accidents Can Happen" was the fourth single from The Heroin Diaries Soundtrack, and we thought the video was nifty. Suck it.

Sexy, slender FOUNDRY CAMS babe Brianna Frost fell off her stripper pole...AGAIN:



Yeah, that's right. this has happened before.

Busty brunette Isis Taylor from Twistys wore an itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy, sorta-polka-dot-bikini...



.actually, it was more like a dress, and it wasn't on for very long.

This disembodied pair of boobs stuffed into a tight pink shirt belongs to a Latina named Jazmyn.



If it's any consolation, that shirt doesn't stay on very long.

Busty, blond, BISEXUAL Femme, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, fires up her fantastic body in this new clip with music by George Lynch (ex-DOKKEN) and our buds in LYNCH MOB:







CLICK ON FEMME's BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL BODY...and have a bib handy

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.