Holiday Hotness is Heavenly, New GREEN HORNET trailer, Rare Dimebag Darrell video, ANTHRAX is still Moshing, Shay Laren, Sara Stone, Aria Giovanni, and Lexi Ray are all Nekkid

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Actually, it's NOT. But your inability to get your hefty ass off the couch IS. Move a little, why dontcha?)

When your wife can do decline crunches while holding your son, you know you have to watch what you say, because picking a fight with abdominal muscles like that could get you killed:

Which reminds us, there's only a few days left to sign up for her BLACK FRIDAY SALE - lose a pile of weight in time for all those Holiday parties!

Coincidentally, that's "Pendulum" from Retooled (feat. Rich DeCicco) blasting in that clip. Catchy, eh?


THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

The second trailer for Skinny Seth Rogen's adaptation of The GREEN HORNET is online and while there's a LOT more explosions in this one, we're still not 100% sure we want to see it:

See? SMAAAAASH!!

If your ass is THAT big, should you really be wearing leather pants? (Drunken Stepfather)

Whose ass? Umm, HER ass...which used to look a helluva lot better

2010 Holiday Movie Preview (Bullz-Eye)

Stormy Daniels could calm even the most savage seas and rough waters... no, not really...but she IS very attractive (FreakShow Planet)

Julri Waters (yes, that's how you spell it) is a PLAYBOY girl who says 'yes yes' to her no-no spot (z0d)

Becky Payne is going to give herself one hell of a headache if she keeps hanging upside-down like that (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that one day the cops are going to have to knock a hole in your wall to get you out of the house, chunky-butt.)

Headbangers rejoice! DIMEBAG DARRELL is alive and well ...in video form, that is:

This rare semi-upskirt footage of DAMAGEPLAN was captured a little less than three months before Dimebag's murder.

Get Some DAMAGEPLAN, why dontcha?

Something tells us if the guys in ANTHRAX really DID get "Caught in a Mosh", one of those old farts would break a hip.:

Not familiar with ANTHRAX madam? We can fix that, you know.

From metal to ... oh mama!

Naturally large-breasted SARA STONE can't get anywhere near a swimming pool or fountain without whipping off her bikini

Just like in this scene from NATURAL WONDERS 7 (which you can see on demand NOW!

Sure, there's art hanging all over the walls, but the real work of art is Aria Giovanni's Ass ...which we cannot get enough of.

there's just something about the scent of a good hiney... Amiright? Amiright?

For a college gal, PLAYBOY's Lexi Ray ain't too bright.

The shirt comes off BEFORE we get in the shower, toots.

Not that we really care all too much about decorating, but Shay Laren is taking off her bikini and showing off her boobs...

...and all WE can stare at is that ugly, uncomfortable-looking sofa. Buh-lech.

Chad Smith (RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, CHICKENFOOT) and his funk-rock band, CHAD SMITH's BOMBASTIC MEATBATS (Jeff Kollman, Kevin Chown, Ed Roth, and of course, Chad Smith) just dropped a new album titled 'More Meat' and they were saintly enough to give us the track "The Gunboat is On!"... we thought it only appropriate to have our own brown-haired, brown-eyed, BISEXUAL FOUDNRY CAMS babe Natasha do up a video for them. What you see here, folks, is the fruits of that



Click Natasha's Nicely-formed Hiney. then regain your composure and click on on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Natasha LIVE...and Naked... (YOU naked, HER naked, it's all good)
Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Natasha LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Runaway Crane vs. Police Car, Robust Redneck vs. POISON song, ALICE in CHAINS in NYC, OZZY in Italy, Ripper Owens in Tiny Clubs, The POODLES in tight pants, Sasha Grey topless montage, Big boob-fest with Shay Laren, Ava Addams, Leanne Crow, Jelena Jensen

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as your hangover breath. Here's a mint, deadmouth)

Runaway Crane + Minivan + Bus + Police Cruiser = Big Ass Mess:

There was broken glass and pointy things everywhere. Glass? Who gives a shit about glass?

A robust young, West Virginia Redneck belts out his version of POISON's 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn':

Somewhere, in the back of a tour bus, Bret Michaels is watching this and weeping. We know, because we sent it to the fucker.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



Celebrity Flat Ass In Jeans Alert - Oh WHO could it be? (Drunken Stepfather)

OK, here's a clue: she doesn't show her can often *Cough* KNOCKED UP *cough*, but when she DOES... ooga booga.

Christiano Ronaldo's Girlfriend Is A 10 (Banned In Hollywood)

25 Awesome Things Made Out of Beer Cans (Maxim)

Anna Lynn Cruz cruises right out of her lingerie, showing off her outstanding Latina loveliness (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Wrenna Monet (Bullz-Eye)

Rare Footage of Kobe Bryant in High School Scoring 43 Points (The Hoop Doctors)

Mandy Lee steps into the tub and sheds her pesky, cumbersome bikini (z0d)

Possibly The Worlds Most Dangerous Theme Park (DJMICK)

If you woke up next to Susie Addison every morning, you'd never get out of bed. Ever. (Dailyniner)

9 Types of Fans You WILL Find at a Tailgate (The Campus Socialite)

The 15 Most Outlandish Wall Street Indulgences (BroBible)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you'll be riding the coattails of your drinking buddy until you get booted out.)

Those nice boys in ALICE IN CHAINS played Madison Square Garden the other night:

William DuVall's afro was visible from the nosebleed section, incidentally. you can catch Alice In chains on the BLACKDIAMONDSKYE tour with MASTODON and DEFTONES.

Our longtime pal OZZY OSBOURNE is on tour for the next 18 months:

No wonder he yells at his fans so much; the man is overworked and C R A N K Y.

Tim 'Ripper' Owens was plucked out of obscurity to front JUDAS PRIEST:

...and then Rob Halford rejoined the band and Ripper is playing clubs with really low ceilings in Austria.

So, you want to wear tight pants, makeup, and rock out with your cock out? You're probably going to have to move to Sweden to do it:

THE POODLES are living proof that you can still be a glam-rocking dickbag... in Sweden.

From Rock, we segue right to Racks...

Despite her brief detour into mainstream acting, we'll always know SASHA GREY for her day job:

That girl sure can take a pounding... see for yourself... on demand, fools!!

Naturally-big-breasted Ava Addams and Jelena Jensen are groping one another fiercely:

There's nothing like busty women groping one another to throw off a creepy cameraman. You should see what happened next... that God Frenchy shut up.

Keeping with the big-ass-boobs theme, buxom Shay Laren is allergic to gold fabric. Her bikini happens to made of...Gold fabric:

We don't want Shay getting all itchy so ... guess which article of clothing Shay parted ways with?

As if we haven't already given you more boobies than you deserve, Leanne Crow and her Giant Juggs are sitting in an awful egg-shaped chair:

The only thing that could possibly improve this clip is a whole lot of bosom juggling...which fortunately for you, Leanne does. All girl with H-cup boobs should be required by law to juggle their bosoms.

...and that, kids... is the end of today's information-filled update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: Dancing for Smokes, [REc] 2 trailer, Jesse James in Sex Rehab, Mick Jagger's Sexy Daughter, FOZZY's first gig in 4 years, Busty babes

Happy Hump Day, kids!



Spend some quality time in a classy establishment fornicating with that fairly attractive teenage groupie you've been chatting it up with online. Don't mind the roaches.

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(Just like your very existence. You suck at life, and it's a miracle you haven't blown your own head off yet)

What's worse, the fact that this Malaysian man is dancing for cigarettes?




or his busted-ass dance moves? Learn some new steps, mister.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



The new trailer for [REC] 2, the sequel to the 2007 Spanish film [REC] (which was later re-made as QUARANTINE) is so scary....




You'll probably need to keep a change of underwear handy before watching it.





Jesse James is in Sex Rehab (WWTDD)



On the other hand, Jesse's tattooed mistress, Michelle Bombshell McGee is chatting it up online at SoCalGlamourGirls





Mick Jagger's Daughter Georgia May Jagger has NONE of her father's genetics (Drunken Stepfather)



11 Pointless Uses Of Modern Technology (UPROXX)



Bree Olson Bails on her Clothes and opts for her Birthday Suit (Freakshow Planet)



What’s my name, bitch? Twenty great movie titles (Bullz-Eye)



April Hannah Has our attention in April, May, June...hell...anytime, really. (Dailyniner)



All the Cool Kids cook Bacon With a Machine Gun (GammaSquad)



Off-Menu Secrets Exposed -- Can You Really Order This Stuff? (Asylum)



Five Artists that May Have Actually Been Con Artists (Fork Party)



Rihana and Elies Get Really Friendly (z0d)



10 things in sports scarier than the Large Hadron Collider (Guyism)



Panty Party! (atom)



What your nuts say about you (FunnyCrave)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that toxic personality is equalled only by your toxic halitosis. Here's a toothbrush, dummy)

Chris Jericho and our friends in FOZZY played their first gig in four years in Arizona:



the band's new disc, Chasing the Grail is out now.

From Metal to mammaries....

Bustiest of the busty Denise Milani loves her heavy weights:



Apparently she enjoys working out to OZZY OSBOURNE tunes... which we appreciate tremendously.

So, ya like the boobies, do ya?

Naturally heavy-chested Shay Laren is giving the worst car wash EVER in this clip:



and we could care less, because her bikini comes off.

Armed with a video camera and a winning smile, Talia Shepard takes her top off and makes one hell of a home video:



she should worry about something like this leaking online. Whoopsie. Too late.

Ravishing, Raven-haired, busty pinup girl Violet, who has done several FOUNDRY CAMS videos for us, has a brand new solo site, and to celebrate, she's shaking her fantastic figure to BRET MICHAELS' new song "Lie To Me":






Click on Violet Right Now, and stare slack-jawed at her awesomeness!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Driver vs. Rockslide, 10 ft Unicycle fail, Big Boobs get a gal a job, Kirstie Alley = Swamp Thing, New Bullet for my Valentine,New RATT

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(So is your smile. Keep your mouth shut, or risk having all of your teeth chisled out)

53 year-old Ralph + 10 ft tall Unicycle = 5 seconds of pure hilarity




Why is Ralph's old ass on a unicycle anyway?

Want to see the world's most oblivious man drive straight into the most obvious Rockslide?




of COURSE you do. Why else you dicking around here?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:





Somebody's great big new boobs landed her a movie role (Drunken Stepfather)



Gee, Whoooo could it be? maybe someone who wasn't that famous to begin with? Eeeeeyah. Probably.





Holy Shit! SWAMP THING is REAL! (WWTDD)



Wait wait...no. Sorry. it's just Kirstie Alley. Sheesh. Remember when she was hot?



Need help filling out your March Madness bracket? (Scores Report)



Rachel Roxxx rocks the big booty (FreakshowPlanet)



Attn Nerdy Poker Fans: How to play online poker with your Rock Band instruments (The Bachelor Guy)



Sigrid has an awful name...but awfully nice nubs (z0d)



The Corned Beef and Cabbage Cocktail. You know, for St. Patty's Day (The Bachelor Guy)



Bianca Beauchamp has big boobs, an amazing booty, and umm... what were we saying? (Dailyniner)



Superhero De-motivational Posters (Gunaxin)



65 Craziest Basketball Fans (Comedy)



The 10 Funniest Public Access Prank Calls Of All Time (Manofest)



Homemade Rocket Fuel is AWESOME (TodaysBigThing)



Jean-Claude Van Dance (Guyism)



The 20 Worst TV News Fails (HEAVY)





I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that your breath stinks like booze, and your hair smells like old man breath. Repress much?)

Them wacky Welsh fellas in BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE have released the video for "The Last Fight":



The band's new disc, Fever will be out in late April.

as long as we're talking new music, here's a track from RATT's latest disc:


Oooh, that song is just jam-packed with warm, gooey, 80's goodness. Infestation will be out later in April.

From headbangers, we move on to knob gobblers...

our old gal-pal Shay Laren is modeling the tiniest bikini on the ugliest sofa:



Why are we paying attention to the sofa? 1. It's ugly. 2. When you see as much hardcore nudity as we do, you tend to notice OTHER things.

What are the odds of having another video of another girl named Shay on the same day?



Eh, pretty slim... we could have held off till tomorrow to post this clip, but Shay Malone couldn't wait to be gawked at.

Toned, tall Tori Black is ANYTHING but tame...



In fact, she's pretty tawdry in the full uncut clip... and that is one LUCKY vibrator.

To celebrate the opening of Gisele's new solo site, GOT GISELE take a look-see at the new FOUNDRY CAMS video she made for us:






Click on Gisele right now, and watch the full jaw-dropping awesome video!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: New Boobs on RateMyWOW, Britney and Beyonce do lot of Bitching, Busted Up Boxer, Lots of Lesbians Licking

Oh lordy...a smut reviewer's job is never done, is it?

So nice to see Gianna Michaels branching out...Get Your 50% OFF this DVD now!

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for SHE IS HALF MY AGE (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of newbie adult starlet Ashly Paige:


s RateMyWOW: Ashly Paige

This super-toned ass has been making the rounds lately... not bad for a mom, right?Subtle, right?

Sitcoms, morning TV, and rock-hard abs. Thanks to our buds at Drunken Stepfather. CLICK THE PIC!

Married man, are ya, Lloyd? your wife doesn't seem to think so...

THAT's TERRIBLE:

We don't care how many movies she shakes her ass in...

Beyonce still acts like a whiny Diva on stage

(then of course, we have our favorite lip-syncing genius)

Our gal Britney Spears got the shit scared out of her the other day at Mohegan Sun:

Odd how that microphone didn't pick up any of her screaming, eh? now let's all stare at Brit's boobs.

(this has ZERO to do with music, but it's funny as hell)

Cruiserweight boxer Brian Sutherland had ONE professional fight. It lasted less than a minute

Down goes the mullet!! Down goes the mullet!!

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry for what? Lesbians? Jesus, our priorities are screwed)

Holy Hell. Aria Giovanni and Nikki Nova are having sexy time...

We're at a loss for words, but not a loss for drool.

As long as we're on the girl-girl love thing...

lookie what Suzie and Bijou are up to... other than having odd names.

You all know Gisele from FOUNDRY CAMS and some of the amazing videos she's done for us...

We all LOVE GISELE... You should too.

When you get home from groping your cute married friend, be sure to watch all the clips we added to the MEDIA SECTION, including:

Suzie Carina and Bijou Get Touchy Feely
Beyonce Yells at Lighting Techs in Rotterdam
Aria Giovanni and Nikki Nova Lesbian Fun Time
Ferrari Crash On Nicolas Cage NYC Movie Set
Danielle Bathes Her Beautiful Body
Brian Sutherland - Worst Boxer Ever
Claudia Flashes in the Park
20 Year-Old Fan Jumps On Stage with Britney Spears

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Posterous
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