MILF in a Mesh Shirt, Shark vs Guy in Kayak, OZZY in a Hockey Jersey, Captain America Fest, POISON and MOTLEY CRUE madness, Natalie Portman's Naked Ass, New FOUNDRYCAMS, Breanne Benson

Look, Dude... if your mom is going to keep posting photos like this:

especially on her Ashley Madison and Facebook pages... you're going to have to deal with all of the strange guys at the door (us included).

THAT's TERRIBLE:
( Listen up, monkeybrain - you're not getting any smarter so pay attention PLEASE)

An enormous shark barrelled down on a guy in a kayak in Florida:

Normally he'd be shitting his pants; but not this time. You see, it was a BASKING shark, and the most it would do is suck on the kayak for a while

Now THIS, friends...is a shark:


THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, and fuse...which both seem to be shrinking daily. Wow, are YOU a catch)

We got a FEVER! And the cure is CAPTAIN AMERICA!

First to the movie; the new trailer has a TON of new footage in it and has covered our shirts with drool:

Of course, we'll clean our shirts before going out in public. Maybe

Next up, is the video game, SEGA's CAPTAIN AMERICA: Super Soldier, which has a new trailer:

This one, we'll play at home... so screw cleaning our shirts.

...and if you saw THIS version of CAPTAIN AMERICA, our hats go off to you and your cheese-tastic taste in movies:

Who the fuck is Jen Starger?

and why should I care about her cleavage? (Drunken Stepfather)

Ancilla Tilla looks great in Lingerie...and even better OUT of it. Eh, Gnome sane? (FreakShow Planet)

Friday Film Fix - Movie Reviews (Bullz Eye)

Kayden Kross should ONLY be allowed to make girl-girl videos. HOLY SHIT (z0d)

Lexi Belle spends WAY too much time in clothes in this photo set. That's just one man's opinion though (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your teeth are as black as your soul. Here's a few bucks. See a dentist, schmuck.)

Look who showed up in a Washington Capitals jersey! It's OZZY OSBOURNE!

Is OZZY even aware of what the Washington Capitals or hockey is? Who knows.

HOwever, they DO use "Let Me Hear You Scream" a lot, so I guess that qualifies him:

The IRON MAIDENS are an all-female IRON MAIDEN tribute band:

They play flawlessly ...except for the last few days of the month. Get it? Get it? eh? Nudge-Nudge.

The album covers look a little ...uh, familiar? Well, that's kind of allowed, we think.

Look! It's our buddy BRET MICHAELS trying to run away from his lame-ass interview with Access Hollywood:

Unfortunately, that had him chained to his chair, so he couldn't get very far.

Eh, he does have a new album and tour coming, so he might as well promote as much as possible, right? right? right? Eeeecchh.

Click it, fool!
Like I said, click it, fool!

Everyone needs an overhaul once in a while, and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, new girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what the lovely CARMEN did for Us latley:
The lovely luscious Carmen, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site CAM WITH CARMEN returns with this amazing video where you get to see her behind-the-scenes at one of her many photo shoots.

Thanks to ART OF DYING for giving us "Die Trying" and thanks as always to Jon for the editing.



Whatchoo waiting for, mang?!?! CLICK IT, FOKKER!

Anyone want to see NATALIE PORTMAN's naked ass?

There you go. It's from YOUR HIGHNESS...and this is even MORE Of her NAKED...Thanks Mr. Skin!

This is Breanne Benson. She NEVER shuts up.

She makes up for it though...when she takes her clothes off...which will redeeem most women.

You've all heard of ALEXIS TEXAS before, right? What, you HAVEN'T???

That's her. On the stairs. You know, the ONLY GIRL IN THE PHOTO?!?!? about to get ravaged we might add.

...and that, friends... is the way to fart in bed without your girlfriend noticing.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

MILF upskirt, Police vs Young Lady, Captain America video game, Who cares about Vanessa Hudgens, Nikki Sixx, Bret Michaels, and the most boring morning show ever, Stryper does KIS, Lupe Fuentes does roses

If your mom keeps taking photos like this

and then posting them on her Ashley Madison profile... We may consider taking her out for a malted... on her back.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
( Listen up, monkeybrain - you're not getting any smarter so pay attention PLEASE)

A police officer gently lets a young lady knows who is in charge:

TRANSLATION: He Maces the bitch and throws her to the ground. Why does everyone seem to think they can stand up to armed police officers?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your hairline, and fuse...which both seem to be shrinking daily. Wow, are YOU a catch)

We know it's about six months old, but the trailer for CAPTAIN AMERICA: SUPER SOLDIER has us SO pysched

Come on, who ISN'T excited about this movie? Anyone? Anyone?

I don't care who this is.

She's Vanessa Hudgens, and unless you were one of the lucky few who saw her NUDE PHOTOS, you shouldn't care either. (Drunken Stepfather)

Janet and Melany are naked, drunk and trying to re-enact some album cover (FreakShow Planet)

Barry Bonds' perjury trial begins, but does anyone even care anymore? (Scores Report)

Mariah and Rachel are feeling each other up..as they SHOULD BE. It's a law. We think. (z0d)

Li'l Lupe Fuentes is covered in Roses...that is until her boyfriend Evan gets a hold of her and drills her into next Sunday (ha! didn't think we knew, did ya) (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your teeth are as black as your soul. Here's a few bucks. See a dentist, schmuck.)

Nikki Sixx and Bret Michaels were on Good Things Utah the other day promoting their summer tour

Being interviewed by the 'Milquetoast sisters' isn't all that bad... is it?

Both band's have relatively new albums out too:

...and STRYPER, straight off their WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BIBLES! tour (kidding):

Did a halfway decent job of covering KISS the other night in Nashville. Yes, Nashville. Enough with the cowboy references. Every band in the world is down there.

Boobies? Booty? Did someone say the magic word? Ehh, maybe:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, new girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what the lovely CARMEN did for Us latley:
The lovely luscious Carmen, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, as well as at her own site CAM WITH CARMEN returns with this amazing video where you get to see her behind-the-scenes at one of her many photo shoots.

Thanks to ART OF DYING for giving us "Die Trying" and thanks as always to Jon for the editing.



Whatchoo waiting for, mang?!?! CLICK IT, FOKKER!

Where else but in the U.S. can Alanah Rae get an oily rubdown by a (supposed) masseusse and NOT call the authorities

We'll tell you were, chester...HERE. In the bestest country on earth...Granted that pervert has a police scanner and a good set of running shoes on.

Arianna Sinn is a gal with 34G-sized hooters. Do you know what those were made for?

Playing with. That's what. Thankfully, that's what this non-english speaker is all-too-familiar with.

...and that, friends... is the way to poop in the woods.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Your mom is tied up, Tommy Lee and the Tone Deaf All-Star Band, New Music and Cuisine from JOURNEY, SLAYER is feeling much better now, Julia Crown and Sofia Saint are Brilliant

Not for nothing, but your mom was left out in the backyard, hog-tied:

We don't want to judge but she's been posting some kinky ads online... and you know what kind of oddballs those can attract. Yeah, us.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your contribution to society...nothing)

Tommy Lee joined the TONE DEAF ALL-STARS and George Lynch at Rock 'N Roll Fantasy Camp

Someone tell that girl on the mic she sounds like two cats fucking... or at least throw a shoe at her. Bless you! Get it? 'A shoe'? Bah.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(You know, unlike your face, breath, hairline, and general disposition)


Kendra Wilkinson's ass looks halfway decent in shorts (Drunken Stepfather)

but not nearly as good as it looks in her homemade sex tape... zinG!.


Click it, fool!
Adele Stephens and Deven Davis have a great doctor/patient relationship (FreakShow Planet)

11 Most Addictive Breakfast Cereals (Bullz Eye)

Dylan Riley will get you all riled up ... see, cuz she's in a teensy gold bikini (z0d)

Alexa Nicole is no ordinary hottie. Nosiree, she's got hooves! No. Not really. Chill out. (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you have no ambition other than sucking off the tits of those wealthier than you)

When JOURNEY's singer isn't trying to eat your pets, he sings like an angel:

Oh my God. It's a joke. Lighten up, you overly-sensitive maniac.

Looks like Tom Araya from SLAYER was feeling well enough to get on stage in Australia:

He had an 'ouchie'... yes, that's what he called it. Again. Joke. Relax, Chester.

Wow, this is a little too high-brow. Bring on the girls!

Stand back, everyone! Julia Crown is Crowning!

That line would work better if we actually KNEW what 'Crowning' was. Ten bucks says we totally misused the word there.

you may be asking, How many animals had to die senselessly to make Sofia Saint's swimsuit?

We're guessing none. Yeah, none... it's synthetic, dummy.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way to impress a gal on a first date

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Worst Guitar Solo, Close Call Car Crash, Snooki Does Rolling Stone, WHITESNAKE unplugged, MOTLEY CRUE summer tour, VINCE NEIL's Mistake, American Idol does Judas Priest, Angie Savage does Zebra

Seriously trying to find something wiseass to say here, and coming up very very blank:

Face it. Your mom and her friends are smoking hot and as long as she posting photos like these... we'll forever be struggling with what to say.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like this year's Academy Awards. What a snooze-fest. Oof)

All the guitar lessons in the world aren't going to help this dude:

Give it up, shmuck. You're not going to get any better.

Officer! We're going to need a fresh diaper and a clean pair of slacks for this man!

Ten more feet, and that guy was going to be buried in two boxes.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike this year's Oscars... yes, we're going to beat that into the ground)


Why is the seriously un-bangable SNOOKI on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine? (Drunken Stepfather)

Is ROLLING STONE doing this deliberately to piss off readers, or is it honor-a-troll month and nobody told us? Magazine sales must be sliding.


Charlie Sheen on Living with Goddesses: 7 Relationship Tips (How About We)

Vanessa Lake is wrapped in Latex on a Summer Day. No wonder she's taking her clothes off (FreakShow Planet)

A Chat with Topher Grace (Bullz Eye)

Conny is kinda cute...and that's kind of an understatement of the year (z0d)

Jana and Georgia are all kinds of friendly and naked, and that's just the way we likes 'em (Daily Niner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you stayed up to watch this year's Academy Awards... getting tired of that line yet?)

Has David Coverdale ever NOT looked like an old woman? We say 'uhh, no'

Keep in mind this show was in Tokyo in 1997... and it's all downhill from here, kids.

Speaking of old ladies, who's the old woman sitting between Tommy and Nikki from MOTLEY CRUE?

Oh. Oh, wait a minute. That's David Johansen. Nice wig.

In a candid, sit-down interview with... his girlfriend... VINCE NEIL said that his latest DUI arrest and stint in jail was a 'mistake'.

He also revealed that the sky is blue and water is wet. Glug-Glug, Vrooom, Vince.

Anyone else see the little gay kid doing the JUDAS PRIEST song on American Idol>

OK, OK... we have no idea if that's true. He may be a gay MAN. Oh...zing... swee what we did there?

Oh let's just get to the boobs... So glad you agree:

How many zebras had to die to make Angie Savage's Bikini?

Umm, none. It's a fucking bikini. It's cloth. Chill out.

When you have boobs as big as Leanne Crow, you just have to play with 'em

Well you don't HAVE to... but it's really fun when you can.

Switching gears (kind of)... let's lookee here...

If Emma Ink looks familiar, that's because she's been in other FOUNDRY CAMS clips before (these girls change their names like they're changing their panties, for crying out loud). She's tattooed up and would be the perfect trophy to add to the back of your motorcycle... if you're into that kind of thing. Thanks to our friends in FURNAZE for the friendly music.
Thanks to Jon for the editing, as always.

Watch the vid. Get all excited... then get yourself on over to Emma-Ink.com and watch Emma LIVE, on webcam, getting naked and dirty just for you. (and we do mean JUST for you, because she'll do the private VIP thing if you want)




...and that, friends... is the way you don't pay attention to the Academy Awards... Had enough yet?

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Knockout Caught on Video, Vince Neil believes in Ghosts, hates bottles, Kayden Kross is a horrible Maid, Kelly Divine has a huge ass, Leanne Crow has an OK face

Happy Hump-day young ones. Why not take a clue from our pal Bret Michaels:

No, don't land your ass in the hospital or get knocked out on Broadway. That's just silly. We reccommend having promiscuous sex with a lot of semi-attached young women.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like the face you see in the mirror every morning, chubster)

G'day, mate!

You just got knocked the F**K out!

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


George Clooney. You lucky bastard, you (Drunken Stepfather)

Sandra Shine is in the kitchen... stirring the soup... get it? Get it? *nudge nudge* (FreakShow Planet)

Movie Review: True Grit (Bullz-Eye)

Ashlyn Rae looks like she's wearing a tablecloth. No relation to Charlotte Rae... we think. (z0d)

Jasmin Foxx is just geeky enough to stay bone-able (Dailyniner)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you outgrew another wardrobe, piggy)

You'd think that after playing with MOTLEY CRUE for 25 years, VINCE NEIL would be used to bottles flying at his head:

Evidently not. This shit-fit happened on the last night of CRUE FEST 2.

Speaking of VINCE NEILk, we should probably bring it your attention that he does, in fact, believe in ghosts:

This is Vince on an episode of Celebrity Ghost Stories. Yes, there is REALLY a show called Celebrity Ghost Stories.

Girls...Girls...Girls...

Kayden Kross is a filthy French maid who loves to play with herself:

Sure, she's great eye candy, but the house is a mess and the furniture is always sticky.

Our favorite massively-assed adult starlet Kelly Divine is out and about, wearing bike shorts of all things:

Most women would get pissed off if you told 'em they had fat asses. Not Kelly. She'll let you put your head in there.

British brunette Leanne Crow has an 'OK' face... but her boobs are HUGE!

...boobs are huge....boobs are huge....boobs are huge....boobs are huge....boobs are huge....boobs are huge....boobs are huge....

Carmen, who you have seen in countless other FOUNDRY CAMS videos and her own site Cam With Carmen, as well as Sweet Victoria, Lita, Lux, Eve, Jade, and Jaylee are giving the gift of scantily-clad awesomeness this holiday season.
Thanks to our buddy GARY HOEY for his version of "Carol Of The Bells" and thanks to Jon for the editing.



CLICK ON CARMEN's GIFT-WRAPPED TA-TA's and UNWRAP HER PRESENTS

After you're done drooling, why not see more of Carmen at CAM WITH CARMEN and check out her fully-unwrapped, fully-nude, fantastic rack...and everything else.

...and that, ladies and gents, is today's big ol' enchilada update....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.