Gun-Toting Store Clerk, Stallone Gets His Ass Kicked, New American Idol Judges, Montana Fishburne Makes Smut, Bret Michaels Sings Skynyrd, Queensryche hires a chubby gal, Tyler Faith, Brandy Blair, Renna Ryann

Weekend's Here! Clothing Optional! Find a Fiesty Friend and Fling those Clothes to the side...

Guilt is for suckers. Adulterous Affairs are for Brave Citizens like yourself. Do it for your country.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(But not half as bad as your people skills)

A cell phone store clerk in Chicago shows off his King Kong-sized balls in this CCTV video:

Now who's got the gun, Beeeeeyotch? OK, that's a bit much. The dude was Pakistani. Do Pakistanis even say 'Beyotch'?

You want to feel lazy? Check out 63-year old Sylvester Stallone getting his ass kicked by Steve Austin:

Sly got his ass KICKED... and his neck BROKEN while filming a fight scene for THE EXPENDABLES.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


The new judges on 'AMERICAN IDOL' are...ZZzzzzzzzzz (WWTDD)

yeah yeah... enough already with this nonses just TAKE YER SHIRT OFF! Yeah, We know. Subtle.


Everyone say Hello to MONTANA FISHBURNE: PORN STAR! (Drunken Stepfather)

You can thank the wonderful people at VIVID Entertainment for bringing this professionally-made tape to market... Montana thinks this is her ticket to fame... err, infamy...err, whatever.

Plot of ‘Charlie St. Cloud’ Recreated With Hilarious Review Quotes (FilmDrunk)

Life Inside the Bunny House (The Smoking Jacket)

Talia Kristin has 2 first names, 2 pigtails, 2 great boobs, and 2 much clothes on. (Freakshow Planet)

Movie Review: Dinner for Schmucks (Bullz-Eye)

Top 10 White-Trash TV Show Girls (BroBible)

Kiara Diane Barely gets out of the car before she gets out of her clothes (Dailyniner)

The 10 Most Dangerous MMA Fighters (InfoGraphic) (The Cage Doctors)

The 100 Hottest Women from New Jersey (BroBible)

McKenzie Miles has her hand over her no-no spot, but she's not hiding it well (z0d)

5 Essential Summertime Drinking Apparatuses (Banned In Hollywood)

High School Cheerleader Tackles Mall Thief -- and doesn't even have to hang up her cell phone to do so (LemonDrop)


I'M SORRY:
(but not half as sorry as you're going to be when you realize you have no marketable skills)

What does BRET MICHAELS have in common with a million potatoes?

Absolutely Nothing. But they were both in Idaho the other day. Bret is on tour now so get your tickets... you know, before he dies.

In an effort to broaden their demographic reach, the guys in QUEENSRYCHE have enlisted the help of a chubby dominatrix:

They're trying to lure in the chubby chasers. QUEENSRYCHE is on tour now with their 'Cabaret' show... get them tickets now, madam.

Rock bands... whoosh...transition...and BOOBS!

Busty Blond MILF Tyler Faith is tired after a long day of making sex videos:

Trust us, just suspend disbelief for a minute and watch Tyler give a lucky pink vibrator the time of its life.

Bottle-blond Brandy Blair is getting a massage by a horny male masseuse:

And apparently she found the one massage parlor on the planet where you can get molested and not file charges.

Naturally beautiful brunette Renna Ryann is picking produce topless:

Some ladies squeeze the fruit. Renna likes to rub her tits on it to make sure it's ripe.

Holy. Moley. Our Italian a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS girl Dannie Gee or Danni G did a great job tearing up and re-working our old-school FoundryMusic T-shirt, and shaking her ass to "Kick in The Teeth" by PAPA ROACH from their upcoming album Time For Annihilation..On the Road, and On The Record:


Pick yourself up off the floor, wipe the drool off your chest...and then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Danni Gee/Danni G LIVE...and NUUUUDE (uh, yeah...we mean HER. Not you)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Rick Renstrom the stumpy guitarist, New Boobs On RateMyWOW, Mel Gibson Loves BJs, Amy Winehouse is Gorgeous, IRON MAIDEN's New Video, SLASH and Michael Monroe in Finland, August and the Atomic Wedgie, Jayden Jaymes and a lot of oil

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not half as terrible as your halitosis. Have a mint, dragon-breath)

Guitar virtuoso Rick Renstrom gives new meaning to the phrase "Look ma! No Hands!":

OK, he's GOT hands...but they're tiny. He shreds better than most guys with two full hands.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for LOAD MY MOUTH (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of nicely nubbed Asian KYOKI and RIHANNA SAMUEL:


RateMyWOW: KYOKI
RateMyWOW: RIHANNA SAMUEL

Mel Gibson really likes getting blow jobs (WWTDD)

Oh boy! It's Christmas in July! the FOURTH Mel Gibson audio clip is online! (Radar Online)


Amy Winehouse is Hypnotically Beautiful (Drunken Stepfather)

Oof. Just cut through the bullshit and Go To Crack Whore Confessions... at least they're honest about themselves, you know?

A Whole Mess of Mel Gibson Remixes... from the O&A Show (FunnyCrave)

UPROXX 2010 Summer Buyer's Guide (UPROXX)

Smash’d: LeBron’s Locker Room Adventures (atom)

Tyalor Vixen has an ill-fitting bra. Her boobs are showing. Oh. Wait. (Freakshow Planet)

Girl Next Door: Taylor O'Connor (Bullz-Eye)

Is "Inception" as confusing as you think? (Campus Socialite)

If These Dinosaurs Are Real, We Don't Want to Be Right (URLesque)

Aurora is Nude on The Beach...and she probably has a lot of sand in her crack (z0d)

Franziska is a dead ringer for Amanda Seyfreid...only Amanda doesn't show off her no-no spot (Dailyniner)

Introducing The Next Thing To Kill Your Children Slowly: The Candwich (egoTV)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your hopes and dreams have been crushed like so many empty beer cans)

Those wealthy Brits in IRON MAIDEN are on tour now (click for tickets)... have a brand new album coming out (click to order!) and just released this nifty new video:

Good old Eddie is back...and he got himself blasted into space this time.

Our buddy SLASH and his hat, shared the stage with MICHAEL MONROE in Finland:

MICHAEL MONROE used to be in HANOI ROCKS. Now he's just aging and bony.

From great big guitars to great hineys...

The spicy Latina you see below is adult starlet August:

She spends almost the entire video giving herself an atomic wedgie... and that's not ALL she can do... she can also make a mean egg salad. Wait, no... wrong girl. She has sex on video.

Brunette bombshell Jayden Jaymes has been linked to Chuck Liddell and Dave Navarro...

...and in this clip from Big Wet Tits 6 (which you can see on-demand) ...she's linked to a really big bottle of baby oil.

What do two naked hotties like Renna Ryann and Diamon James do when they're alone?

Why, they lick chocolate icing off each other ...which is, of course, how we think ALL women behave together. Because we're totally deluded.

aaaaand what would an update from us be without a beautiful young lady from FOUNDRY CAMS shaking her ass to rock music, which happens to be from DROWNING POOL this time:


Stare into Shanelle's eyes... only for a moment, then Head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and Chat with Shanelle LIVE...and nekkid (her, not you...genius)

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Wednesday Links: Hump Day Hump Advice, New Boobs On RateMyWOW, Train Rips Through Truck, Grinch steals Santa, Rob Zombie Live, Jelena Jensen, Playboy'

Happy Hump Day, boys and girls. Did you ever want to learn how to hump better?



We honestly thought we were pros. Then we saw Dr Z's new instructional video.

Then we realized how much we suck at humping.

New Boobs On RateMyWOW: Thanks again to our pals Yoshi and Brandon Iron, who is constantly shooting content for SHE IS HALF MY AGE and COVER MY FACE (so very not-safe-for-work), we were able to add new bosoms to RateMyWOW today courtesy of adult starlets Jessica Rox and Elis Diamond:






RateMyWOW: ELIS DIAMOND

RateMyWOW: JESSICA ROX

THAT's TERRIBLE:

Whoa. You ever see a tractor trailer come apart like that?




Train tore through that sucker like it was tissue paper.

Sheesh. Some people just can't get into the Christmas spirit:




Some San Antonio kids are going to be awfully lonely this Christmas.

THAT's NOT-SO TERRIBLE:

(Your face, however...is killing us. Consider burning it off)




Pam Anderson is still very bang-able
(Drunken Stepfather)

perhaps she could make another SEX TAPE...like the one she did with BRET MICHAELS


Faye has nice li'l nubs, and a giant Vag (z0d)



Featured Model: Andrenia Samudio (Bullz-Eye)



Looking up Lola's lucky skirt! (Daily Niner)



Celebrity Sex Tapes Nobody Wants To See (Heavy)



Crissy Moran is More than just Sexy (FreakshowPlanet)



30 People Who Might Be Aliens (Manofest)



Three Cheers for Jordan Fish (Big League Screw)



The Ten Must-See Christmas Horror Movies (Gunaxin)



A stick figure drawing of Jesus gets second grader suspended (Guyism)



How To Be an American Politician (FunnyCrave)



Axon, Axoff - Scientists Discover How To Regrow Nerve Cells (GammaSquad)



How To Fight Bullies (Yep Yep)

I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that the only tail you'll get is attached to your dog)

Busty adult starlet Jelena Jensen has a 34F-sized chest:



How she stands upright is a mystery to us.

Busty, booty-tastic Latina Bridgitte B ejoys other women and other men for that matter:



She also enjoys the taste of a young fella. Lucky you, mister!

Our buddy ROB ZOMBIE is on tour now (click for tickets) and was at Mohegan Sun doing "Dragula":



Honestly, could anyone other than ROB ZOMBIE get away with playing Munsters video without being booed off stage?

Aaaaand back to boobies (of course), we honor PLAYBOY's Nikki Ryann, who claims to enjoy french fries



We don't believe that one bit. You don't get an ass like that eating fries.

Our fantastic FOUNDRY CAMS girls Shanelle and Cherry are getting wet and hosing down their FoundryMusic shirts. TAKING DAWN supplies the soundtrack.

The girls provide the boobies.






CLICK ON SHANELLE TO SEE HER GET WET!



(and now to recap... because our brains retain material like strainers)

Finish up making the sexy time with a sophisticated older woman, and head over to the MEDIA SECTION, and check out what we added:



The Grinch Who Stole the Inflatable Santa

Bridgette B has Got Big Boobs and Booty

ROB ZOMBIE: "Dragula" LIVE at Mohegan Sun

PLAYBOY's Nikki Ryann Gets Naked

Train Rips Through Semi Truck

Jelena Jensen in Baby Blue

These are some of the many social networking programs we're linked up with, so JOIN US, won't you?


Zannel: FoundryMusic

Facebook: FoundryMusic

Posterous: FOUNDRY

Twitter: FoundryMusic (you can get updates to your cell phone here as well)

MySpace: FoundryMusic

NING: FoundryMusic

FRIEND FEED: FoundryMusic

Break.com: NSFW videos (we put all the dirty vids in one location)

LiveVideo: FoundryMusic (updated daily)