Your Mom Pushing a Sports Car, Follow us on the Twitter, STEELHEART goes Splat, OZZY Bites Bats, PANTERA gets fat, Gianna Michaels, Asa Akira, Alexis Texas, and more!

Let's remind you of some important shit, shall we?
You follow US on twitter and we follow YOU on twitter. Simple enough, right?
- Follow this one and we'll keep you up to date on all the children we abdut...KIDDING!
- Now Follow this one (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

You might want to give your mom a call and tell her that THIS is why they invented tow trucks:

There are plenty of ditzy MILFs online just waiting for a fella to give them a lift... snd then some.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Same as the way you say mean things under your breath, thinking no one will notice. Of course everyone DOES)

What do you get when your singer grabs onto a lighting truss that isn't properly secured to the stage?

You get SPLAT! and a band that won't be touring for a while.

...and THAT was the last anyone heard from STEELHEART for about ten years.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(Unlike your feet, which smell like you walked through elephant shit)

OMG and WTF?!?! Could it be ANOTHER foreign-language trailer for X-MEN: FIRST CLASS???

It SURE is, and in this one at least everyone's speaking English!

Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck... Please don't suck...

Kristin Bell looks just lovely in a yellow bikini

Agree with us, dammit... or we'll send Charlie Sheen to your house to babble you to death.

Lux Cassidy and Michelle Maylene are awfully friendly and awfully fond of hot pants (FreakShow Planet)

"Your Highness" star Natalie Portman Slideshow (Celebrity Teaser)

Tierra Lee is All Natural and all kinds of ... wait, what were we saying (z0d)

McKenzie Miles is on the golf course, but we're willing to bet her handicap is holy hell in a handbag (Daily Niner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry your taste in women is like your taste in clothing; cheesy, beat up, and worn out)

Back in 1986, MEAT LOAF... err, OZZY OSBOURNE went on British TV to explain biting the head off a bat:

"His name was Robert Paulsen"..."His name was Robert Paulsen"..."His name was Robert Paulsen"...

Robert Paulsen wrote a book? No way, dude!
...and if you ever wondered what it would be like to work for a band like PANTERA, wonder no more son...

Slugging down hot sauce, salad dressing, multiple drinks and worcestershire sauce for hundreds of dollars? WHERE DO WE SIGN? Well, nowhere now. PANTERA doesn't exactly exist anymore.
That band made some of the best home video EVER. Don't even attempt to argue. You'll lose

OK, time to bring out the beeeeeyotches, yo

What's that you say? Gianna Michaels? In a purple bikini??? Where???

Oh. Right there. Cool.
and what happens when you put Asa Akira, Alexis Texas, and Kristina Rose in a room together?

Why, you get a movie called BUTTWOMAN vs SLUTWOMAN.

See? No lying going on here, folks...

Facelifts are let's face it, necessary...and FOUNDRY CAMS was no exception to that rule, so we did this:

We totally revamped FOUNDRY CAMS, with a new domain, hotter girls, lower prices, and a better user experience. So far, the response has beeen HUGE. Check it out:


and if you feel like following us on Twitter (we'll keep you up to date on what all the girlies are doing)

Click it, fool!

Speaking of FOUNDRY CAMS check out what WE got from GISELE:
The lovely blonde Gisele, who you have seen in dozens of FOUNDRY CAMS videos, is back at it once again with a hosed-down FoundryMusic T-shirt, high heels, and very little else on. She's shaking her perfectly-formed hiney to FOUNDRY's "Ain't Like You" from the RETOOLED album, mixed by Rich DeCicco and featuring our buddy Rob Balducci on guitar. Thanks as always to Jon for the editing.

Buy FOUNDRY: Retooled now at Amazon:



Watch Video. Click Photo. Enjoy Gisele. Simple, right? (you'd be shocked how many people fuck that up)

...and that, friends... is the way to make cookies with a cement mixer.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Traffic Court Skating, Chuck E Cheese Brawlin, OZZY OSBOURNE hating, DUFF McKAGAN trailer-ing, MARTY FRIEDMAN shredding, Dayna Vendetta and Sofia Saint Stripping

Oh it's a fine day for traffic court and flings of a judicial nature:

We're happy because the judge probably got laid last night... by whom, we don't know.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your breath, receding hairline, and attitude in general)

Let it not be said that there isn't drama inside of a Chuck E Cheese

Hell, that's more drama than the Golden Globes and The Academy Awards combined. Stay classy, ladies.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your face makes us want to puke...)

Jenna Bentley has stupid fake tits (Drunken Stepfather)

Sabrina Marie has some huge hooters (FreakShow Planet)

Bullz-Eye's 2011 Winter TCA Press Tour (Bullz-Eye)

Jayden and Lizzie are two terribly friendly lingerie-clad lesbians (Dailyniner)

Hannah Harper has a hell of a hiney (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you keep getting passed over for that promotion, dickbag)

OZZY OSBOURNE's new video for "Let It Die" paints the usual bleak picture of the ol' dove-decapitating madman:

Auto-tuned OZZY. Raaaaaaaawk.

DUFF McKAGAN has a new movie trailer to coincide with the release of his new LOADED album:

...New Label. New Record. New Movie. Duff's a mogul.

Have you seen the MARTY FRIEDMAN video for "BAD D.N.A"?

Well there. Now you have.

From heavy bands to heavy hooters, here we go...

Busty blond babe Dayna Vendetta is oiling up her boobs. Why???

She must be trying to force them through something with a narrow opening.

Perky 19 year-old Sofia Saint loves her couch. You know how we know?

BJecause she's getting naked. Naked on the couch. Luckiest. Couch. Ever.



...and that, as they say, is that. Now scram. Somewhere, someone is making more money than you are...

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Lonely MILF goes shopping, Arm-Farting Old Man, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN - New Trailer, BATMAN: Arkham City Trailer, WINGER in Brazil, Ripper Owens in Quebec, Shyla Styez & Alexis Texas

Bored? Lonely? Don't look at us, we're out-of-shape and introverted There IS however a woman in your neighborhood who is just waiting for you though:

She could be at the mall... aor at the supermarket... antsy for you to introduce yourself.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your general state of health, you elephant. There's a busy highway. Go for a walk.)

Never underestimate the hilarity of an old Iranian man arm-farting:

He could be Armenian...but that's missing the point entirely. Just watch the damn video.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

You will not miss Orlando Bloom or Kiera Knightley in the new PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN film, On Stranger Tides:

The trailer hit the web the other day and this franchise is going to make another Gazillion dollars from the looks of it.

Speaking of cool ass trailers, have you seen this preview for the game Batman: Arkham City yet?

Whaddya mean, 'no'? Click it, fool!.

What does Katie Price look so pissed off about? (Drunken Stepfather)

Oh how silly... WE know... she had to be reminded of the sex video she made when she was younger... cuz you know, she tends to forget.

Your Ultimate Gamer's Gift Guide (the Bachelor Guy)

2011 DODGE CHARGER: A Review (Bullz-Eye)

Got pregnant? Got Fat? You Gotta Get this book! (Muscle Sorority)

Cassie Walton is way too hot for that bikini... she should remove it. Oh look! (FreakShow Planet)

Theo. Guy's name...her body is ALL...WOMAN (z0d)

Jana Jordan wore an itsy-bitsy, teenie-weenie, red polka-dot bikini... but not for long (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you think you have a soul in that bloated body of yours. It's long gone, sweetness.)

Hey! You...over there! Remember the band WINGER??

...They're HUGE!... in Brazil.

Keeping with the obscure, but somewhat-still-relevant, Tim 'Ripper' Owens brought his kids up on stage during a show in Quebec:

To deviate from the set a little, they knocked out some classic AC/DC with "T.N.T." for those Canadian savages (kidding!)

OK, onto the boobies (we know whatcha want)...

Blond, busty and totally filthy Shyla Stylez is barely stuffed into her nurse outfit:

She's out of it completely and getting ravaged in Wet Dreams Cum True 6 - On Demand Now ... Don't act all shocked. You knew where that clip was headed.

Ass-tacular Alexis Texas is showing off her hiney in a pink thong:

...and then getting it packed full of protein in Apple Bottomz 4 - On Demand Right now.

Our busty blond pal Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

16 lb Catfish, Kendra is Popular at Hulu, SKID ROW in Sweden, DANGEROUS TOYS in Texas, Mary Carey in a Bikini, Meghan Allen in Lingerie, Kaylee Rain Topless Tennis

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

want to see the biggest catfish ever...

caught by the biggest Arkansas Redneck Ever? Here you go, kids. A 16 lb Flathead Catfish. You figure out what the guy is saying. We're stumped.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Kendra is Popular With Someone at Hulu (WWTDD)

For what it's worth, Kendra is popular with people who love Celebrity Sex Videos (can you say 'best selling sex video of all time?')

Sure ya can. Say it loud, brudda. Then click!


Somebody got a Sloppy Butt (Drunken Stepfather)

Most Tattooed Lady Ever! (Asylum)

Bunny Luv is a Girl that LUVS being Naked and LUVS touching herself (Freakshow Planet)

Review of the Nissan 370Z Coupe (Bullz-Eye)

Justine Jolie and Zoli are Wrapped in Latex and Getting Very Friendly (Dailyniner)

What Attracts the Virgo Man? (FunnyCrave)

Kiefer Sutherland in talks for 'Werewolf Fight Club' (FilmDrunk)

Ashton Winters and Her Tiny Tramp Stamp will Warm you up in the winter...or anytime (z0d)

Nail In the Coffin: The Best and Worst of Hollywood Vampires (UPROXX)

Eight Characters Who Should Be Superheroes (Gunaxin)

Chocolate Chile Beer Ice Cream?! Yes please! (The Bachelor Guy)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

What do the Swedes love more than the Winter Olympics?

They love SKID ROW, Dammit! (and they're on tour now - click for tickets)

Keeping it right around 1989 and the 'Remember those guys?' theme... it's DANGEROUS TOYS, live in San Antonio... yeah, THIS year:

When he's not working on other projects, Jason McMaster gets Dangerous Toys back together and they play gigs for cab fare... or something.

From Bands to boobs, of course...

Our blond-haired, celebrity-rehab friend MARY CAREY has a brand new site and she sent us some video to help, err, 'whore it out' so to speak:

Mary's bikini just jumped right off into the pool. Seriously. That's how it went down.

Does this PLAYBOY Pinup look familiar?

If you were a fan of Fear Factor in 2004, you saw Meghan Allen compete. If you're weren't, then you're probably just a fan of PLAYBOY.

There's got to be something in the water supply that's making all the young webcam models take off their clothes on the tennis courts. Case and point: Kaylee Rain is playing Topless Tennis

Doesn't she understand that lifting up her skirt is going to get her kicked out of the country club? Apparenly, Kaylee does not care one smidge.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Dennis Hopper Has Died, Girlfriend Pukes in Plane, CINDERELLA and SILENT RAGE are live, Kelley Scarlett and Yulia Nova are Busty

Holy Happy Memorial Day! Why the hell are we working?
Get your ass to the beach and scope out a MILF to molest:

Memorial Day is about honoring our fallen heroes by fornicating with a war widow...You have to be selfless sometimes.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Sort of like your breath, your bald spot, your attitude, you face...shall we continue?)

We honor the late, great Dennis Hopper with an homage to his most memorable role:

...and we're talking about his role as Lefty Enright in Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

If your girlfriend gets even remotely airsick...

...you might want to reconsider taking her up in your plane and doing a barrel-roll.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Nika Lauraitis in a Bikini. Um, Who? (Drunken Stepfather)

25 Awesome Boat Names (Banned In Hollywood)

Anette Dawn will have you bug-eyed from dusk till ... well... you know (Freakshow Planet)

'Alice In Wonderland' - DVD review (Bullz-Eye)

Mason Moore has Big Tattoos...and Big Boobs (Dailyniner)

The Life Of Mexican Cantina Women In Pictures (DJMICK)

Top 25 Mispronounceable Names in MLB History (Bleacher Report)

Come and See Betty C without Clothes (z0d)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry you forgot to wear a rubber and knocked up some skank you met online)

Holy hair band! CINDERELLA is Alive and Well at ROCKLAHOMA:

yeah, we mean CINDERELLA the band... not the mentally abused Disney Character.

Remember 80's Glam Band SILENT RAGE? No!?!? Awesome!

They're alive and well (slightly balder) and doing tributes to Ronnie James Dio in Redondo Beach. SILENT RAGE! Anyone? Anyone?

From hair bands to hairless honeys...

So what if Busty blond Jenny McClain was born in the Czech Republic?

She loves American football and loves popping out of her American Fooball Jersey

Brown-eyed, Black-haired Busty British Babe Kelley Scarlett has squeezed herself into a tiny red mini skirt:

Not for long, though. Kelley's pierced nips make an appearance within seconds of the clip beginning.

Russian beauty Yulia Nova has 110G-sized boobs:

How the woman stays upright, we'll NEVER know.

What's this? More fantastic shamless self-promotion?? INDEED!

You know Carmen from her many FOUNDRY CAMS videos and from her solo site - CamWithCarmen. Here's a great clip of her "Unraveling" her clothes to some music by our friends in SEVENDUST:


CLICK THE PIC TO SEE CARMEN STRIP!

Then, when the feeling returns in your arms and legs... chat with Carmen LIVE, one-on-one!

You can also get hundreds of new photos and videos at Carmen's solo site - CamWithCarmen

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.