Heavy Metal MILF, Collapsing Wine, Superbowl Trailers, Lotsa OZZY, Fergie & SLASH, New FoundryCams Goodness

Lonely? Go get yourself a Heavy Metal MILF that looks like Tera Patrick

What's the point in recruiting a bunch of healthy young cheerleaders if you're not going to photograph them in their undies

We heard the other day that the kinkiest women on the planet live in West Virginia. Dare to dream, boys and girls.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your disrespectful mouth. Want the number of a good therapist, fella?)

This clip will make anyone with a wine sweet-tooth cry like a baby:

This will make old Chester read the instructions before building shelves again.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:

(but your inability to take a joke IS, so lighten up pal)

So, umm... who saw the 'Super Bowl', as it's referred to in the far east?

WOO! The Captain America trailer is online. F I N A L L Y.

Big Robots. Destroying one another.

TRANSFORMERS: Dark Of The Moon looks like a movie we'd actually pay to see. Bang. Crash. Boom.

Christina Aguilera messes up the National Anthem. Nah, no one will notice (Drunken Stepfather)


Mmm... Christina Aguilera Boobies

Mandy Dee has boobies that make you go 'Oh mama' (FreakShow Planet)

Featured Model: Sonny Frazier (Bullz-Eye)

Aimee Addison is all that and a Box o' Chicken (Dailyniner)

Julia Morse is code for 'looks really great naked'... meh, we tried (z0d)



I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you can't hang on to a relationship any longer than five minutes. Here's a gun with a toe trigger.)

and if you were watching the big sporting event, you may have seen THIS:

SLASH showed up and made the BLACK EYED PEAS almost watch-able.

You may have seen OZZY OSBOURNE and (who the F*$& is) JUSTIN BIEBER doing a commercial for BEST BUY:

We'll give them both a tussle for making fun of themselves in this one.

Speaking of OZZY OSBOURNE, we now have the full video of him chucking a bucket of water at one of his wife's co-hosts from The Talk:

Get off the stage, madam. The Prince of Darkess doesn't appreciate your girthy hips.

From aging rockers to young hotness...

Danni G (or Danni Gee, whichever you prefer) is decked out in one of our old-school FOUNDRYMUSIC T-shirts (torn and tailored to fit, of course), and showing off her multi-colored locks as well as her magnificent body in this brand FOUNDRY CAMS new clip featuring music from our pal MIKE 13, who took time away from LL COOL J to send us some tunes. Thanks to Jon for the editing.



Click it, fool... then haul ass to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Danni Gee LIVE...and Naked... (we mean HER... if you want to get all naked and sloppy, that's your decision)



...and that, as they say is the whole enchilada... now go ventilate your skull, you bug.

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Hotties on unemployment, Bret Michaels Sings Poorly, Bullet for My Valentine Re-invents the Ballad, Sara Stone, Lisa Ann, and Kelley Scarlett re-invent nudity...kinda

Holy crap. the women on the unemployment line are getting better-looking every day:

alright alright, so we grabbed a photo Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port to make our point. The point is there are a lot of able-bodied people on the unemployment line looking for torrid affairs... it's true. Really. We're serious.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(Just like your girthy chunky butt. Here's a free gym membership. Use it.)

OK, I know he's our buddy and we have made videos like this for him, but BRET MICHAELS really should have re-thought singing the National Anthem:

He should stick to singing with POISON and doing an abundance of reality shows. Dude, we love you, but we had to break your balls for this debacle.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Will someone PLEASE get this skinny-as-hell celebrity superstar a sandwich??? (Drunken Stepfather)

Who could it be? Could it be someone who adopts a ton of impoverished kids and has been naked more often than not?...Wow, that was a lot more than a hint. We have to slow down.

Blast From the Past Models: Ali Sonoma (Bullz-Eye)

7 Family Members and Their Stats (Dorkly)

Who DOESN'T love a totally naked Kayden Kross? Exactly....NO ONE. (FreakShow Planet)

Erin Brittany is Tan, Toned, and Totally Shaved (z0d)

Katie Jordan is hosing off her Cooter. Must smell fishy...what? Where'd everyone go? (Dailyniner)


I'M SORRY:
(Sorry to hear that you're still blaming all of your problems on other people. Way to grow up, ya nut.)

Remember those 80's rock ballads? They always had to have a girl like Tawny Kitaen crawling on the hood of a car... or something:

The band BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE takes a different approach with their women. Stick-fighting, mostly.

So what if he's gay? He's Rob Fuckin' HALFORD, maaaaaaan.

He's got a new album, a line of T-shirts, and of course that li'l gig with JUDAS PRIEST, which doesn't suck. He's opening for OZZY OSBOURNE all over North America, too. Goddamn, that's a show we need to see.

From screaming queens to bosom dreams... hey it rhymes. Get off our back

Naturally busty adult starlet Sara Stone has her 36DD's wrapped in a tight sweater:

...and a jackass behind the camera interviewing her. Thank God it doesn't last long and She gives a lucky boy a present

Oh we got a big-boob-thing going on today! It's Superstar Lisa Ann:

She's dumping that pesky brown lingerie in lieu of something more comfy... like nothing at all... just saying...naked is better.

Continuing on with the large bosom theme, Busty British Kelley Scarlett is all by herself:

Ya know what else she does alone? Umm... gets naked and diddles herself. Hooray for diddling!

The lovely buxom blond Gisele, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos as well as her own site GOT GISELE, has returned to help us promote Retooled, the new FOUNDRY EP, available at all major online outlets. In the clip, Gisele makes some creative use out of a long shiny black light, while shaking her semi-clothed body to FOUNDRY's "Black Lights, Bright City" (Retooled by Rich DeCicco).
Thanks to Rich for the great remake. Thanks to Jon for the amazing editing, and thanks to Gisele for the rockin' bod.



Click on Gisele's impressive rack, then rock out with some FOUNDRY.
When your jaw stops swinging open, Go visit her at Got Gisele
...you can also Chat with Gisele LIVE on her cam

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass-salad of funs....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

FOUNDRY CAMS: SOUND OFF with TRAPT and Tattooed Candy

TRAPT has a new album out called No Apologies, a new single Sound Off, and we have a new totally tattooed girl in our FOUNDRY CAMS club named Candy. Of course, we had to get these people together to make an amazing new video.
What you see is amazing compilation of tattoos, tunes, and titilating video, courtest of Candy from FOUNDRY CAMS. Thanks again to TRAPT for the music, and thanks as always to our own Jon for the editing.



Click on Candy's Tattooed Cans...NOW. then head on over to FOUNDRY CAMS and chat with Candy LIVE...and Naked... (and if YOU want to be naked, that's all on you)

Bands and labels, if you want YOUR music featued in a FOUNDRY CAMS video, you should send your CDs and press kits to:

FoundryMusic
c/o DFL MEDIA, LLC
PO Box 257
Millington, NJ
07946


Thanks again to our buddies in TRAPT for the song Sound Off, which you can pick up online in a number of places:


You can also pick up some TRAPT online at iTunes:


Ok, you officially have no more excuses to keep reading this.
1. Watch Candy'a Video.
2. Chat with Candy LIVE
3. Run, don't walk, and pick up No Apologies from our friends in TRAPT

Got it? Good. We're tired of explaining it.

Homeless Man Rolls around in Urine, AVENGED SEVENFOLD and SLAYER live, MUSHROOMHEAD's new Video, PAPA ROACH and FOUNDRY CAMS, Chrissy Marie and Natasha Marley topless

Let's kick off the week with a BANG, shall we? Round up some lonely housewives and call down to the Super 8 Motel:

Make sure they change the sheets first... you and the MILFs are going to do some damage. Adultery time = FUN time.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as bad as your general state of health, madam. Why not go on a diet or three before your heart explodes)

Who other than a homeless lunatic can get away with rolling around half-naked in his own urine?

Nobody, that's who. Homelessness RULES.

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:


Why does Coco even bother wearing a Bikini? (Drunken Stepfather)

Especially...when Coco looks SO much better going totally topless

Cocktail War Contest (AskMen)

Nothing like hot models in bikinis bouncing around at the Women of Perfection 2010 (Sub5zero)

Jayden Cole is bare-assed on a tractor. Watch out for pointy things! (Freakshow Planet)

Movie Review: The Social Network (Bullz-Eye)

The Best Airline Safety Demonstration Ever (FunnyCrave)

Lana Lopez is one seriously spice (NAKED) meatball (z0d)

10 Awesomely Misleading Old-School Comic Book Ads (Maxim)

Tommie Jo is NOT a guy... repeat...NOT a guy (Dailyniner)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that your heart is constantly thumping like a jackrabbit, you monstrosity)

Our friends in AVENGED SEVENFOLD are out on the road NOW, and they're hanging a roadie from the rafters nightly:

That has GOT to be expensive, don't you think? Hard to find volunteers, too.

When the people of New Orleans aren't hanging out on their roof, they like to listen to the soothing sounds of SLAYER (click for tickets):

Nothing makes the cockles warm like a good old fashioned ditty like "Seasons In The Abyss"

Speaking of 'soothing' those nice boys in MUSHROOMHEAD have a new album and it's full of fun activities:

We like the one called "Beat the shit out of the guy with glasses".

Their new album is called Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children... makes us think of...us... *sob*


From heavy metal to holy MOLEY those are some big boobs!

Like so many of us busty brunette Chrissy Marie has to take off her cheerleader outfit before she diddles:

because, who DOESN'T? They always get in the way...pesky pom-poms

Leggy British blond Natasha Marley looks great in and OUT OF her lingerie:

Natasha was shipped off to boarding school at age 12, but got expelled. welcome to the wonderful world of nude modeling, Natasha!

Our friends in PAPA ROACH, who just released Time For Annihilation..On the Record, and On The Road gave us their song "Burn".
We had our own Nina from FOUNDRY CAMS tear up a FoundryMusic Shirt and make us a spank-tastic video:



Click on Nina's Cleavage to check out her Smokin' Hot Body...and then some.

Of course, once you cool off a little, carry your carcass on over to FOUNDRY CAMS where you can chat with Nina LIVE on cam for hours on end.

...and that, kids... is how we wrap up today's big-ass burrito of fun....

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Luckiest Man Alive, Mechanical Bull Upskirt, ALICE COOPER and HALFORD video, Dasani Lezian, Priya Anjali Rai and other girls you've never heard of

There's NO need to be picky that girl hiding behind the potato chips is ripe for the pickig:

Clean up the crumbs after you spend the day with her in a motel. Or don't. That's what housekeeping is for.

THAT's TERRIBLE:
(but not as awful as the situation you're stuck in, buddy boy)

The luckiest man alive has been located! And he lives in China of all places:

For shits and giggles, he likes to ride his bike into busy traffic.

If there's ONE thing you're going to take away from today's lesson, kids...let it be this. Girl with short skirt and thong + Short Skirt + Mechanical Bull = AWEOME.

There ain't nothing like a litle upskirt action to get the juices flowing, right?

THAT's Not-So-TERRIBLE:



How the fuck is this chubby chick famous. No links. Just disgust (Drunken Stepfather)

Internet Collection of the Best Exorcisms Caught On Tape (UPROXX)

Penthouse Pet Heather Vandeven loves to enjoy nature in the manner that God intended her to....Nekkid (Freakshow Planet)

2010 Fall TV Preview (Bullz-Eye)

sabrina Maree is sexy and ... umm... wait, what were we saying? *drool* (z0d)

15 Beautiful Models of Southeast Asia (StyleCrave)

Madison and Nika get awfully friendly awfully fast... which makes them.... Good eggs. (Dailyniner)

Redskins partner up with Foursquare (CBS Sports)

I'M SORRY:
(Sorry that you now take orders from a kid younger than you. Bwahaha-haha)

Wouldn't you know it? the one and only ALICE COOPER was in Atlantic City the other day:

Fortunately for him, no hips were broken in the making of this video ... or concert, for that matter.

the CGI and troll-filled video for HALFORD's 'Made of Metal' has been released, but it's missing something:

Oooh, that's right... it's missing the rest of JUDAS PRIEST... obvious when you think about it.

and from energetic metal, we move on to ethnic beauties

Sexy, seductive Dasani Lezianis showing off her think latina booty:

Which, as luck would have it, gets violated by Michael Stefano in 'Slutinas'.... There's actually a whole series of those now that we think of it.

Exotic Indian babe Priya Anjali Rai busts out of her cumbersome bikini:

Because bikinis are so bulky, as you know.... and they only get in the way of diddling time. Priya is a busy lady. She's got to get her diddling done in a timely manner.

Camerella is a naturally-busty, young, perky, beautiful young lady who has no problem taking her clothes off on her cam. She's also the kind of good sport who has no problem chopping up one of our old-school, over-sized Foundrymusic T-Shirts and turning it into a two-piece outfit. Thanks to Josh, Keith, and our friends in BUCKCHERRY for the song "All Night Long".



Click on Camerella's strategically-placed hand, watch the full-length video, then spend all night long chit-chatting with Camerella online on her cam LIVE!

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?

We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did

FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing

Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates

be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep

We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.

We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.

We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.

FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.

Tuesday Links: Drunken Sandwich Stuffing, Death Metal Patsy Cline, Mystery Ta-Tas, Coco's Cans, Vince Neil and KISS are Aging, Stracy Stone & Harmony

THAT's TERRIBLE:

(but the way your breath smells IS, so have a mint, whydontya?)

You ever been SO drunk that you just want to smash your face into a SUBWAY sandwich?




No? well this guy has... wow, what a face.

Did we REALLY need a Death Metal Version of Patsy Cline's "Crazy"?




Well, apparently this chubster DID... So here you go.

WOW. You'll never guess who these boobs belong to (Drunken Stepfather)



hahahaha...we RUINED it for you... because we're pricks.





ICE-T's woman, Nicole 'Coco' Austin has some new photos online (WWTDD)



and since we're all about taking the mystery out of things... take a look at Coco's tits. Subtle, right?



A Chat with the cast of SOUTHLAND (Bullz-Eye)



Valentina Vaughn is Very Vivacious...and very naked (FreakshowPlanet)



Is it worth using Viagara if you don't need it? (The Campus Throne)



Elisabeth King ditches her black lace for something a little ... well, ok...for nothing. (z0d)



Every Hitchcock Cameo Ever (Inside Movies)



Carita Tevez has Tremendous Ta-Tas (Dailyniner)



How To Keep An Idiot Busy (Dave and Thomas)



Erin Andrews to fight voyeurism via dancing with the stars (Don Chavez)



Intelligent Men Are More Sexually Faithful (Asylum)



Awesome Works Of Art Made from Stuff on Your Desk (UPROXX)



The 20 Worst Bootlegs (Heavy)



2 Girls, 1 Cop (atom)



Overcoming the Online Dating "Cold Shoulder" (The Bachelor Guy)






I'M SORRY:

(Sorry that you never developed emotionally beyond the age of two. It's OK. It happens. With DOGS, usually)

KISS and their wig-tastic wigs made an appearance on Germany's "Wetten, Dass..?" to promote Sonic Boom and their tour:



OK, actually Paul Stanley wears a wig. His hair is short. We've seen it. Gene Simmons wraps a monkey around his head...or something.

The new video for "Tattoos and Tequila" by VINCE NEIL proves that an aging singer can still get skanky drunk tattooed girls:



Vince Neil made another kind of video once...with Janine.

This sexy Czech is Stracy Stone and she's pulling off her sweater:



Showing off her Sweater MEAT. Get it? Sweater meat? Boobs? Get it?

With a name like "Harmony", you figure this gal is easy going, right?



"Easy" could be the biggest understatement of the millenium...Look at what this bitch does to her toys!

Her name was Silvia...and she covered her boobs in whipped cream



...then she got tag-teamed by two guys and got covered in another kind of cream...

Busty, blond, BISEXUAL Femme, who you have seen in countless FOUNDRY CAMS videos, fires up her fantastic body in this new clip with music by George Lynch (ex-DOKKEN) and our buds in LYNCH MOB:







CLICK ON FEMME's BEAUTIFUL BISEXUAL BODY...and have a bib handy

Visit some of our other hot properties, won't you?


We're on FourSquare...talking about all the cool shit we do... or wish we did



FOUNDRYNEWS is online, so we can do the blogging thing



Follow us on Twitter, or we'll send wolves to your house to gnaw at your privates



be our friend on Facebook, or we'll send AIDS-infested gerbils through your vents to bite you while you sleep



We've been on MYSPACE since the dawn of time. It was cavemen...and us...and Dane Cook.



We're also on POSTEROUS, so read that shit.



We also have a spot on this thing called NING, and that rhymes. Go us.



FRIEND FEED also has a spot for FoundryMusic... because we're in desperate need of friends.